This story is about Freya and Merlin. It's set inside 2x09 The Lady of the Lake, but this time Arthur notices Merlin running from the courtyard ;) The story is written in Arthur's POV. Btw this wednesday it was exactly one year since I joined Fanfiction. net :D One year and 41 stories! :)

Warning: Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I'm not native speaker and just 16, so I still stydy english in school...

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Do you hate this sentence as much as I do? D:

Special: Happy Birthday to our amazing Bradley James! He'll be always my Once and Future King! He's 31 today ;D

TO SAY SORRY
By Mischel

We were very close. So close. All we needed was just one swift blow forward to kill that beast. I stepped a bit closer, my sword firmly in my hand, looking right into the bastet's green eyes. They seemed to be sad. The beast was still saying its 'meow', everytime it stepped on the ground. It had one paw still lifted in the air. Surely it was because of my previous blow. I had hurt it - we had to protect Camelot after all and that thing was dangerous.

I moved forward again, but suddenly there was a noise of something cracking right above me. When I looked up I had to immediately jump aside, for there was a statue from the castle's roof falling down. I had no idea how did it fall or why right above me, but when I stood up again the bastet was already flying away. I swore and looked around.

And it was right then, when I saw Merlin turning around and running away "Merlin!" I shouted, but Merlin didn't hear me and continued in running. I started to run after him; I didn't want him to get killed with the beast still flying somewhere out there. What was that idiot even doing there? Simply watching how was it going with that people-killing beast?

"Merlin!" I shouted again - no response. Merlin still didn't hear me and was still running somewhere towards... towards the dungeons. My eyes widened. Why would Merlin come to see the bastet and then run down into the dungeons? But it was too late and Merlin had already disappeared behind a corner in a small door that were leading right under the castle. I ran after him, but then stopped. I had no idea which way Merlin ran.

"Freya?" I heard. It was definitely Merlin's voice. I took a torch from the wall and lit it up, then I quickly followed the voice. "Freya!" Merlin called again, right after I had rounded a corner. And then, I stopped dead in my steps. Quickly I hid behind the corner again, because a few meters in front of me was something I couldn't even believe was happening.

In front of me stood Merlin with a torch in one hand and with the other stroking the beast's sad head. Merlin smiled a bit and whispered "S'ok, it's ok..." And to my surprise, the beast was purring. I smiled a bit. I have never seen a beast to be so peaceful under someone's touch.

But then as if something went wrong, and the bastet let out a cough-like sound and it went away, still whining. Merlin, however, quickly followed it and went deeper into the tunnels. I went after him of course, but carefully so Merlin wouldn't see me. After a while I heard someone crying. It was a girl's voice. And it occured to me that it had to be the cursed girl who had escaped from the cage. I came a bit closer and saw Merlin, undressing his brown jacket and puting it gently in front of him. It had to be that girl, because I saw her legs peeking from behind the corner.

It was obvious that she was crying, and when I saw Merlin, sitting down, he seemed to be crying too. "You're all right, you're safe now." I heard Merlin say tenderly. It was the side of Merlin that I've never seen before and that was a bit strange. Merlin was so gentle and emotional about this girl. She had to be naked after she turned back into human. The poor girl started sobbing and Merlin hugged her. Then I saw just Merlin's toes, because they were hid behind the wall.

"You must hate me," she sobbed. It was so heartbroken that my eyes filled with tears too.

"No," Merlin whispered.

"I'm a monster," the girl insisted. She hissed with pain. "I tried to tell you,"

"I know," Merlin said and sniffled.

"There was a man," Freya started, "he attacked me. I didn't mean to hurt him, but I thought he was going to kill me." She sobbed again. "It was an accident, but his mother was a sorceress. When she found out, said I'd killed her son. She cursed me to kill forever more."

"I'm going to make you better Freya," I heard Merlin whisper. His voice was weak. He was trying to be strong, but he was failing in it.

"No Merlin." Freya whispered. "The wound is too deep." She paused for a second. "Please go." She said then with the last of her strength. And for first time that evening, I felt really guilty. I shouldn't have killed her. I knew she was a girl, but I never thought about this - that she would have someone who truly cared about her. And I certainly didn't expect that one to be my Merlin. I didn't want to hurt him, but she was a threat to Camelot. If she couldn't control it, I had simply no choice.

"No," Merlin said suddenly firmly. "I'm not leaving you here." He said and stood up. I quickly stood up too; I had to get away before Merlin and Freya sees me. I didn't want him to know that I know. I went back and hid in the forest, near the exit of the dungeon. I didn't have wait long, soon Merlin with Freya in his arms went out and slowly he went further into the forest. I wondered where was he taking her. But I didn't want to spy on Merlin. It wasn't right, I knew I should let him have some privacy with a girl he loved. But she was dying and I wasn't sure how would Merlin deal with it. I had to keep an eye on him to be sure he was alright.

So I slowly went after them, hiding in the shadows and in bushes so Merlin wouldn't see me. After a while they reached a lake. It was a beautiful lake, with wild flowers around and high mountains behind the trees. It was wonderful. I saw Merlin lying down with Freya in his arms. I didn't know what they were talking about, but I knew what happened when Freya's head fell backwards. I heard Merlin scream and with that sound my heart broke into a million pieces. It was my fault. I've killed Merlin's girlfriend. I made Merlin cry like this.

Merlin cried and cried and kept hugging her, wishing she would come back, but she never did. She was already gone. I wiped the tears that rolled down my cheeks and stood up. I knew that this was going to happen. And I really didn't want to let my best friend grieving there alone, but he needed his privacy. And I didn't want to disturb him in this moment. I've never seen Merlin crying. Not like that. It was heartbroken. Not at all pretended.

After what I saw there, I went back to Camelot. I didn't want to see Merlin like this. And when I came back home I didn't go to my chambers, I went to the training field to fight one of those wooden dummies, because I didn't want to just sit and do nothing. I've just killed my best friend's girlfriend without even knowing it, I was angry. Why was the world such a cruel place? Why Merlin couldn't be happy after all he's done for me? He was the most loyal servant I have ever seen. Incredibly idiotically so. I wasn't easy to take care of, I knew that. And Merlin was such a good friend and so kind person. So why did he not deserve happiness?

I came back to the castle later than I wanted. But when I opened the door to my chambers, I still found Merlin sitting on the floor, polishing my boots. He looked awful. His eyes were glassy, hair tousled more than before and he just looked like crap. I tried to smile. "Ah Merlin, I've been looking for you." I lied. I wanted to be gentle, but as soon as Merlin heard me, he said: "Yeah right, you're going to ask me to polish your armour, and wash your clothes and clean your room."

He sighed and didn't even look at me when he kept polishing my boots. I sighed too. I just couldn't handle this. I knew I was responsible for Freya's death, Merlin knew it too, and still he was calm. More or less. I mean he was just upset. Really really much upset and sad and crying and a total mess... But he wasn't angry at me and that was what surprised me. If someone killed someone I loved, I would kill them. To avenge their death even when I knew it wasn't going to bring them back. But not Merlin. Merlin was kind and gentle soul. He wasn't angry at me even when I killed his girlfriend.

And that was why I went to him and sat down. He wasn't looking at me and tried to look even more away so he didn't have to show his wet face. He sniffled. And that was the moment I took his hands into my hands and gently removed the rag he held and put it on the floor next to us. He looked up at me for the first time that evening, uncertain. I looked at him and pulled him in for a hug. "I'm so sorry," I murmured and sniffed his dark messy hair. I certainly wasn't a hug type, but I owed this to Merlin. I killed someone he loved and I couldn't handle him just sitting here, not saying a word.

After a few seconds of surprise I felt him relax and wrap his thin arms around my back. I tightened the hug and he buried his head into my shoulder, squeezing and shaking a bit. I heard him sob after a while, but I didn't mind. I was his friend and I wanted him to be happy. I wanted Merlin back, to be like he always was. I wanted him to grin and insult me along with bringing me my breakfast - late.

He might have lost the girl he loved, but he will never lose me.

As he always is, I will always be here for him.

*The End*

I have to say this again: Happy Birthday Bradley! ! ! :D