October 4, 1999

Topanga laid in bed curled up in a ball with one hand clutching a fistful of Cory's shirt she was wearing, the one he let her borrow and she never gave back when she ran away from Pittsburgh to be with him. Tears were streaming down her face and her body was wracking with heart wrenching sobs. She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, she was surprised she was still passing her classes.

Just two weeks ago she had broken off her engagement to Cory. After witnessing her parents go through a divorce and never wanting to through that pain herself (or put Cory through it), she felt that she couldn't set herself or Cory up for the inevitable disappointment of their broken future together. And just this morning she had seen Cory talking to Shawn with a big smile on his face. Why was he already okay with their breakup and she felt like she would collapse at any given moment of the day?

Anger rose up inside of Topanga and she felt the unyielding urge to release it on the one person who she thought deserved it. She climbed out of bed and threw her flip flops on before stomping out of her room and down the stairs of the apartment she shared with Angela and Rachel.

"Topanga, what's wrong?" Angela asked as she witnessed her best friend trudge through their home on a rampage.

"I'm going to give that bastard a piece of my mind." Topanga responded quickly and then opened the door and slammed it behind her, not giving Angela a chance to respond.

She arrived at Cory and Shawn's dorm in 5 minutes flat and wasted no time with knocking. She threw the door open and ignored the girlish screams of Cory and Shawn.

"Shawn, get out," she demanded, not taking her eyes off of the former love of her life.

"Yes, ma'am," Shawn threw his hands up in defense, not wanting to caught in the wrath of Topanga Lawrence.

Once the door was closed and the couple was left alone, Cory stood up to face her. "What's going on, Topanga?"

"What's your problem, huh?" She exclaimed, poking a perfectly manicured finger at his chest.

Cory, confused as all get out, stared in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw you!" She yelled, tears forming behind her eyes. "I saw you with Shawn earlier, laughing, and having a great time... How can you do that? How can you be so goddamn happy when I feel like absolute shit?!"

Cory knit his eyebrows together in anger. "You think I'm happy, Topanga?" he asked. "You think I enjoy getting my heart ripped out of my chest and stomped on by the woman I love more than anything? You think seeing me in a passing moment, sharing a story about you, makes me feel elated?"

Topanga stared at him, the tears finally making their way down her face. She felt her whole world start crumbling around her and she crossed her arms over her chest as she began to sob uncontrollably. She thought she could handle it, could yell at him, make him feel guilty, whatever, but at that moment she realized she would always be weak when it came to Cory Matthews.

Topanga suddenly had a flashback to her childhood when she got hurt on the playground at school. She recalled an 7 year old Cory wrapping his arms around her and helping her to the nurse. Before she even realized what was going on, Topanga felt arms envelop her and she couldn't help but throw herself into them. She clutched at his shirt and cried into his chest, the familiar scent of his cologne causing her heart to constrict.

"I'm so confused," she cried.

"Ssshh," Cory held her tighter and ran a soothing hand through her long hair. "It's going to be okay, Topanga. We will figure this out."

Cory held Topanga for what felt like hours. Her tears had long dried on her face and now they just held on to each other as tightly as they could, never wanting to let go. Topanga had a her arms thrown around his neck and Cory had his head buried in her neck and shoulder while his hands caressed her back. Neither one cared that their legs were going numb from standing for so long. They needed this.

Eventually, Topanga pulled away and took a step back. She watched as Cory visibly prepared himself for what he knew was going to be an onslaught of more heartache. "So, after that whole chain of events, where does this leave us?" he asked.

Topanga bit her lip. "I need time, Cory."

He looked to the ground and nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. She expected some sort of retort, a sly remark, something, anything, but all she got was silence. She didn't know what else to say so she just turned on her heel and walked out of his room, looking back only once to see him watching her every move.

A/N: Wow, that was a weird ending... On to part two!