Hello there. My name is Dipper Pines, and for your enjoyment today only, I'm going to mutilating myself in horrific ways that should kill me.

Key word: should. No, don't close your browsers, I'm not some suicide streamer. In fact, it's physically impossible for me to die.

What do I mean by this? Well, let's go back a little.

It was an average Saturday in Gravity Falls; as in, extremely hot and full of lunatics. That was normal enough for Gravity Falls.

Grunkle Stan was at the bank, an activity he regularly dreaded. He hated banks and was certain they were out to take his money. However, Dipper was tired of finding bags of money lying around, and finally managed to convince his grunkle to give the thing a try.

(It was actually the whole thing about "interest" that got his attention; anything which would cause him to have more money was an immediate priority for Stan.)

However, he had also dragged Dipper and Mabel along with him, particularly because they were kids and he didn't trust them to stay home alone without breaking the merchandise or causing some other heinous act.

Dipper knew this and was slightly upset by it - he was twelve years old, perfectly old enough to stay home alone for an hour. Mabel didn't mind, though. Her mind was always on the bright side of things.

When it was finally Stan's turn up in the line, he nervously stared at the female bank teller, not sure where to start. "Um, hello there. I, um...am looking into starting a bank account. Now give me money."

Before Dipper even had time to correct his uncle, he heard a loud cocking sound coming from behind him. When he turned around, he saw two men wearing only dark, with guns clutched in their hands.

A few other people turned their attention towards the men. A young woman let out a high-pitched screech at the sight of them, which certainly turned everyone's attention to the men.

"Everybody down on the ground!" One of the men yelled, waving his gun around in the air in order to intimidate the people. Everyone immediately laid down on the ground.

Dipper grabbed Mabel's hand instinctively to protect her. Mabel couldn't stop shaking as the men continued to wave their guns around. The room was silent.

"Alright, good." The other man said. "Now, we just need to make a...withdrawal, if you will. If ya'll know what's best for you, you won't move an inch or make a single peep."

The men came closer to the front desk, which just so happened to be right where Stan, Dipper, and Mabel had been. One of the men directly placed his foot on Dipper's hand as he opened a drawer and began to pull out cash. The other man held a bag and let his partner pour the money into it.

Dipper wanted to cry out in pain, but he knew that it'd be at risk of his life. Still, this guy was pressing down all of his weight on Dipper's hand.

Mabel noticed the pain Dipper was in, and, not wanting him to get caught, she tried to distract him. Anything to avoid...

Just then, the man dug his foot deeper into Dipper's hand, completely cutting off circulation. Dipper couldn't help himself; he let out a loud, high-pitched yelp of pain.

The man stopped what he was doing, and looked directly at Dipper. He let out an angry growl as he grabbed his gun and fired it right at Dipper's head.

Dipper felt the gun hit his head, and a sudden pressure was on him. He lost hearing for a second, but when it did come back, he could tell the people around him were screaming.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" The man yelled at all of them, waving his gun again. Mabel buried her face into her legs, rocking back and forth like she was trying to enter Sweater Town.

Slowly, Dipper began to realize what was going on. He was dying.

Except...he didn't feel like he was dying. He put his fingers on his forehead, much to the shock of everyone else around him, and saw blood on his fingers. However, he wiped the blood off on his pants, and after that felt completely fine.

"How...how is that possible?" The other robber questioned, looking at Dipper while still taking money out of a drawer.

The two robbers grabbed their bags of money and left in silence. The second they were out the door, chaos started back up again.

"Oh my god, the boy's been shot!"

"But...he looks fine!"

"Call an ambulance!"

"I feel fine." Dipper insisted, but that didn't stop the people from calling an ambulance for him. What was going on? Had he seriously been shot in the head?

Dipper sat alone in his hospital bed, wearing a blue hospital gown and still not entirely sure why he was there and not dead.

He looked at himself in the mirror. There was a tiny scar on his forehead which was beginning to fade away; it looked more like a scratch then a wound after getting shot in the head.

Dipper took his finger and placed it directly on the wound, and found that it didn't even sting to touch the wound. As he was touching it, a nurse entered.

"Well, I don't know how this is possible, but..." The nurse started. "All of your tests came back normal. There's absolutely no chance of you dying from that wound. Looks like you're a bit of a medical mystery, kid."

Behind the nurse were Stan, Soos, Mabel, and Wendy, who all had looks of confusion on their face.

"You mean...he's fine?" Grunkle Stan questioned. "But I saw him...he got shot, right in the head! No one survives that! I mean, it's good that he's alive, but...how?"

"That's something we're not even sure of." The nurse replied. "It was definitely supposed to be a fatal wound. Still, even though he's fine, he's going to have to stay overnight."

"Wait, overnight? Er, how much will that cost me?"

"Stan!" The other three visitors all said in union, dirty-looking him.

It was late at night. Dipper couldn't sleep; he was still amazed by the events of the day.

He had gotten shot, right in the forehead, and was alive. He looked in the mirror again and saw that the wound on his forehead had entirely disappeared. Dipper looked one hundred percent fine.

How was that possible?

A voice in Dipper's head suddenly came up with a crazy idea, something no sane person would think of: Jump out the window.

Dipper immediately shook the voice out of his head, glaring at the window briefly. He was on the top floor. Jumping from a window like that would certainly kill him.

Where was this voice coming from? He didn't want to die.

Trust me, you won't die.

The voice continued to insist things in his head, things Dipper was honestly starting to rationalize. He had survived a gunshot in the head.

No. This was crazy. He was crazy.

In fact, Dipper was so crazy, he gave into the voice. As his hands managed to lift up the window (something Dipper thought was way too easy for a hospital - what if a suicidal person managed to get it open?), he dangled his feet out of the window, and jumped right out.

He felt the air hitting his face extremely fast, and it all went quicker then he expected. For a second, he felt like a bird, soaring through the sky.

That was, until he hit the ground.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I personally think it's a little weak at spots, but I promise it's only an introduction chapter and things will get much more exciting in the next few chapters. If you liked this, please R&R. I'd really appreciate it. See you all next time!