Title: The List

Author: GEM

Date: 10-5-14

Pairing: Fitz/Mellie, Olivia/Fitz

Rating: T

Summary: Their marriage is a now a business arrangement. Their marriage is just for show. There was a list of things that they didn't do. There is a list of things that they don't talk about. Mellitz, Olitz

Disclaimer: Scandal is Property of Shonda Rimes and ABC et al.

A/N: A little Season 4 Speculation. Please let me know what you think.

Chapter 1

Fitz stood in front of the mirror adjusting his tie. The black silk was cold and felt foreign running through his shaky fingers. Today was the day he would say goodbye to his eldest son forever. He would never see Gerry again. His son was dead. Their son was dead. Mellie was barely holding on. He was barely holding on. He was President because his son was dead. The price is too high. He had a country to run but in truth it didn't matter. Mellie was grieving. He was grieving and they needed to be there for Karen and Teddy. The Presidency would be there when this was over but for today he was a grieving parent.

"Daddy." Karen stepped in the huge closet carrying her little brother.

"Yes, Karen."

"Teddy won't hold still so I can tie the tie." Karen set Teddy down on the bench across from her father.

"Don't worry about the tie Karebear. He looks fine with the shirt and sweater vest." Fitz picked Teddy up off the bench. "Don't you buddy." Teddy looked at his father and gave him a pouty smile. Fitz was thankful that Teddy was too young to truly understand what was happening today. "Let's go find your mother.

"She's locked herself in the bedroom. I knocked but she won't open the door." Karen offered in a sad voice. Fitz was certain that his little girl had been crying recently and that would undoubtedly continue today. They would all be crying today. Today is what made it really. Gerry was dead. He was really gone and he wouldn't be coming back.

"Take your brother into the living room. I'll take care of Mom." Fitz said as he kissed Teddy on the top of the head and handed him off to Karen. He drew his little girl into his side and kissed the top of her head as well.

"I don't know if I'm strong enough to get through this dad."

"I don't know if I am either but we'll get through it together. " Fitz felt a pang of guilt as he thought of Olivia. They were always in this together and now she was nowhere to be found. He kissed his daughter once again. "We have each other and I'm not letting go." Karen nodded and gave her dad a sad smile as she walked down the long hallway toward the living area. Fitz stopped in front of the bedroom door and knocked softly. "Mellie. Mels open the door. Mellie, open the door." Fitz finally heard a click and the door knob twisted in his hand. He opened the door and stepped through.

The sight before him broke his heart. Mellie was sitting on the couch in their room in a bathrobe and slippers nursing another drink. He knelt down in front of her and gently took the glass out of her hand as he had done so many times before. They did not have the typical marriage. Their marriage is no longer one bases on love. It is no longer based on respect. Their marriage is a now a business arrangement. Their marriage is just for show. There was a list of things that they didn't do. There is a list of things that they don't talk about. Their son was now on that list. It was too painful to think about Gerry. Mellie had closed up in the seven day since he'd died. Fitz had closed off as well. There were things going on around him but he had a one track mind. Take care of the family. Take care of Mellie. He didn't love her in the true sense of the word as a husband should love his wife. They had both done too much damage to their marriage for that. He cared for her though and he needed her to get through today. He need her to help him get through today. "We need to get you ready to go." Fitz said gently.

"I don't want to go." Mellie whispered through her alcohol induced haze."

"I don't either Mels but we have to. This happened to our family and there is nothing we can do to change it. We have to go and say our goodbyes and then we have to put our family back together." Fitz drew Mellie into his embrace to comfort her but she resisted and stood up.

"Our family will never be put back together. Our family is broken and will always be broken. Gerry is dead, Fitz! He's dead and he's not coming back!" She ran from the room. There was a list of things that they didn't do. There is a list of things that they don't talk about. These things ate away at their marriage and there was nothing he could do to change it. Fitz stood up and went in search of his wife. She was in the walk in closet getting ready. She heard him come in but didn't acknowledge him.

"Mel."

"Leave me alone, Fitzgerald. I'm doing what you want. I'll be ready in time to bury my son." Mellie pulled down a black dress with a suit jacket. She stumbled out of her pajamas.

Fitz stepped forward to steady her. "Let me help you, please." Fitz was gentle as he ushered her to the bench in the closet and sat her down. He carefully undressed her the rest of the way and help her dress in the suit. He watch as she slipped farther and farther into herself. He zipped up the dress and kissed the back of her neck. "Do you want to wear your pearls?"

Mellie shook her head and Fitz walked over to the jewelry box and returned with the pearls. He put the around her neck and fastened the clasp. He walked around the bench and looked at her. He knelt down and helped her put on her black high heels. "All set." He stood up and extended his and hand. She took and stood up on shaky legs. "I can't do this..." She whispered through fresh tears.

Fitz reached up and brushed them away. "I can't either." Fitz said honestly with sad eyes and tears threaten to spill. He took both of Mellie's hand in his own. "We don't have a choice, Mellie. Our son is dead. We have to bury him. We have to say goodbye." The words died on Fitz's lips. He didn't want to say goodbye. In truth, he wanted this unbearable pain to end. He wanted to see his son again. He didn't want to say goodbye he wanted to say hello.

OOO

The family walked solemnly to the graveside after the private family service. Fitz had his arms wrapped securely around Mellie to ensure that she wouldn't fall. He was grieving as well but his priority was to make sure that Mellie was taken care of. Cyrus was helping Karen and Teddy and Mellie was his responsibility. The press wasn't welcome inside the church or at the graveside but there would be press pictures of him leaving the church and the grave when this was all said and done. Fitz was certain they would be on cover of several high profile magazines. He needed to make sure Mellie was okay for that.

They followed Gerry's casket to the gravesite and watched as the pole bearers put him down at his final resting place. Fitz stood between Karen and Mellie with his arms securely around each of them. He tried to get Mel to sit down but she refused. Karen held tightly onto little Teddy's hand as the reverend spoke. In a matter of minutes it was over and Gerry was being lowered into the ground. Mellie was whaling, Fitz held her as she sobbed into his shoulder and he cried as well.

Karen wiped tears from her eyes as well. She picked up her little brother and whispered into his ear as she walked with him to the grave. She dropped a rose on top of the casket and whisper to Teddy who did the same. She said some silent words to her older brother and walked away with the Secret Service and White House staff leaving her parents by her brother's grave.

Fitz held Mellie as she collapsed to the ground next to the grave. "Gerry!" She screamed in grief."I want to go in. Just put me in there."

"No, Mel." Fitz held her as she continued to weep. She laid down beside the grave and was still. The Secret Service Agents stayed to secure the scene for the two grieving parents.

Cyrus approach a few minutes later. "Mr. President. I don't mean to be insensitive but they need to finish up here."

Fitz only nodded as he made his way over to his wife. "Mel, we need to go now."

"No."

"Mel, Karen and Teddy are waiting for us. We need to go. We'll come back and visit tomorrow. Fitz reached down and picked up his wife. He carried her away from Gerry's grave sobbing and put her down behind one of the monuments in the cemetery. "Mel, look at me." Mellie looked up. "It's you and me. The press is out there and they want pictures.

"No."

"I couldn't agree with you more but they aren't going away. The kids are waiting in the car. We are going to walk out of here together. You don't have to look at them and no one is expecting you to smile. All you have to do is walk to the car Mels, that's it. I'll be with you every step of the way. Fitz took her hand and wrapped an arm around her waist. "You ready?" Mellie nodded and they left the cemetery.

There were pictures the next day, the next week but Fitz and Mellie never heard the cameras as they walked away from their son's grave and into the car. They were to consumed in their own grief. That night Fitz found Mellie sitting in her bathrobe on the Truman balcony. She had retreated into herself and Fitz feared she would never come out. Fitz sat next to her and drew her into his arms. She flinched a bit. "I don't ever want to talk about this day again." She whispered. Fitz leaned in a kissed the top of his head in silent agreement and stared out at the Washington Monument