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A/N: Still nothing belongs to me but just borrowing. Thanks E.L.!

I'm awakened by a trail of kissing coming from my neck to my shoulder blade then at the top of my breasts.

"Good morning, Anastasia," Christian murmurs. I look at the clock at it's 3 am.

"It's 3 in the morning!" I huff, not truly upset, especially after so long without the feel of my husband.

"And I don't want to waste any more time," he states, pulling one of my breasts into his mouth and biting gently. He always knows how to get me going. I wrap my arms around his neck, in encouragement. He smiles against my breast and continues south.

I moan loudly as he makes it to my clit.

"Do you still want us?" he murmurs, barely above a whisper. Talk about bad timing.

"As in "us"? Back together us?" I ask, squirming on the bed.

He lifts his head from my folds to look at me. "Yes."

I look into his stormy gray eyes. A mixture of hope and lust and want swimming in them.

"I do still want you," I reply. "I'll always want you."

And that's what he was needing to hear apparently, as he continues lapping at me. He inserts a finger and I nearly explode at his touch.

"Not yet, Anastasia," he replys huskily. I removes his fingers and flips me so I am on all fours, bare in front of him.

"I have missed you, missed this, baby," he says positioning himself behind me. He slowly enters me and my vaginal walls clinch him. "So tight, so wet. Always ready.." he mumbles, picking up speed.

I'll always want this man. No man could ever compare. He grabs my clit and I am sent over the edge. His orgasm is not far behind and he lays us down, my back to his front. He's gently playing with my hair. Times like this remind me of right after we had Teddy. He was so gentle and warm. A completely different person from when I first met him. It was amazing.

He moves my hair from off my neck and kisses my neck and shoulder. "I love you, Anastasia," he whispers, nibbling now on my earlobe.

"And I love you, Christian, but.." and his ministrations stop. "We still have a lot to work out."

He halts his movements and exhales softly. "I know."

"I'm not even sure you can convince me this won't happen again," I murmur, still feeling him behind me.

"And I don't blame you for those feelings. However, what will it take? I haven't seen her, spoken to her, since…...that night," he offers.

I roll over and come face to face with him. I can see the pain in his eyes. Pain he himself caused. I refuse to take any blame for his actions.

"Good. And there is no one else?" I ask, not sure if I am ready for the possible answer.

"Since you left Ana, I've spent my time drinking maybe too much when Teddy isn't here and then with him when he is. No. I haven't spoken to anyone, including her," he states and I know it's the truth.

I nod and look down at his chest, where some of his scars are and run my fingers over them. He tenses then relaxes immediately.

"I want nothing more than for our family to be back together. To continue and maybe expand…." he trails.

I nod again. I don't want to leave the cocoon of this. The real word lately has been too harsh.

"Sleep, Anastasia. I've let Taylor and Gail know to come here in the morning and they will bring Teddy with him. You're off tomorrow, so just relax," he kisses my forehead and pulls me even closer.

I choose to relax and let it go again for now.

I wake up again to the sounds of my husband and son playing in the living room of the house on the sound. I almost forgot about everything for a minute. I miss this. All I keep thinking is how much I just miss this. Maybe forgiveness isn't too far off. The way he communicates to me verbally and physically leaves no doubt of his love for me. Then why? Why did this happen?

I go into my old closet and find a pair of yoga pants and long sleeve tshirt. Keeping it basic today. I slip on my UGG slippers and head into the living room. Christian has Teddy playing with his blocks and Gail is plating some food.

"Mooorninnng momma!" Teddy exclaims clambering to his feet and high-tailing it to me. I really need to spend more time with him. I've been so caught up in everything that I have been neglecting my own son.

"Teddybear!" I grab him up in my arms and hug him tight. "Hey little man, ready to eat?"

"Panacwakes!" I look to what Gail put out for us, and sure enough, pancakes.

"Yes sir! Gail even cut them up for you!" I smile at him and add his bib and secure him in the high chair. Teddy wastes no time using his hands and smushing the pancake pieces into his mouth.

"Good morning, Anastasia," Christian says, pulling out a chair for me.

"Thank you," I reply. Gail gave me my signature hot tea and needed ingredients. As well as my usual banana.

"Aren't you going to eat more than a banana?" Christian asks, pulling his omelet closer to him.

"No," I reply, peeling the banana. I know he's got a food issue. But, since moving out, I've been able to relax a bit and eat what the hell I want to eat. He doesn't want to start this for me today. Seriously.

Christian cuts up a piece of his omelet and offers it to me. One whiff and I want to vomit. I leap from my chair and head to the bathroom rather quickly. The parts of the banana I just ingested among other things have now vacated my body. I flush and go to splash cool water on my face. Boy, I look worse for wear. Clammy and pale. What the hell? I felt fine when I woke up.

I hear a knock at the door. "Ana, I've called my mother to come check you out. I've got Teddy. Why don't you lie back down?" Christian calls, obviously holding our quite talkative son, blabbering about anything and everything in his special child language.

Great. Not only am I sick, but Christian has called the calvary better known as Grace and I'm still here at the house on the sound. Not back in the safety of my apartment where I can hide from my husband.

I open the door and am greeted by three very concerned faces. "I-" and then everything goes black.