The boys were off to take showers before lunch. They all had the ability to take one before each meal, but only a select few were cleanly enough to take the lunch break. That day there were only four; Jean, Connie, Bertholdt, and Armin.

Jean stepped into the brown tiles shower room and walked all the way down to the last stall before removing his towel and hanging it over the side of the stall. He turned the handle towards the left and waited for the water to warm up with a dead expression on his face. When the temperature was finally acceptable, he stepped in and began his usual routine.

He was about to wash out his shampoo when a head of blonde hair peeked around his stall and smiled.

"Hey, Jean? Can I borrow some soap? I'm all out." Armin said, gesturing to the blue bar resting on the ledge. Jean nodded and tossed it to him, but he missed and the bar hit the ground and slid across the floor.

"Oh... crud..." He pursed his lips. Jean narrowed his eyes as the blonde stared at the bar of soap sitting on the ground.

"What is it?"

"I dropped the soap." He said bluntly. "Ha!" Connie laughed from somewhere off in the next few stalls.

Jean ignored it and blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Well I've always heard that you're not supposed to drop the soap... I'm not quite sure why, though. But supposedly it's bad luck to pick it up."

Jean stared at the blonde, awed at his innocence.

"That's ridiculous. Something like that wouldn't happen."

"Something like what?"

"BUTT RAPE!" Connie screamed, poking his unevenly-shaven head around the corner of the stall. Bertholdt glanced curiously toward the odd exclamation and shook his head. Jean chucked a loofa at the skinny boy and glared.

"Butt... huh?" Armin looked utterly confused. Jean shook his head and crossed his arms.

"Nothing. Just pick up the soap." He said. Armin stuck out his lower lip as Connie wiggled his eyebrows.

"So that's how you feel about Armin, huh, Horseface?" He purred suggestively.

"Shut up, you perverted bastard!" He blushed and clenched his fists, debating whether he should kick his unmentionables or if it'd be weird since both of them were naked.

"I feel like there's some erotic meaning behind that soap..." Armin said, finally catching on as he eyed the blue bar of bubbles on the brown tile floor.

"No kidding..." Jean muttered. Armin shrugged. "Oh, well superstitions mean nothing anyway." He said as he bent to to pick up the soap. But on the way down he slipped on Jean's loofa which had been chucked at the resident scrawny pervert just moments ago and fell flat on his face.

"Agh..." Armin grunted as Connie slapped his hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter.

"Jean..." Armin rasped, grimacing as he lay shamefully on the floor.

"Yeah?" The brunette replied, trying to hide his smile.

"Picking up soap really is bad luck."

AN: Drop a review on your way out! I hope you enjoyed this extremely perverted one-shot. Later, losers!

-TRG