(NOTE: This story was previously titled Grace Under Fire, and the main character's name was Grace. On my profile, you'll find a link to a post explaining why I changed the story's title to Grace Under Pressure, and the mc's name to Jace.)

Title: Grace Under Pressure

Rating: M for violence, language, sex, and dark subject matter

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural and I do not receive any monetary compensation for writing this story.

Trigger Warnings: Rape/Sexual Assault; Victim-Blaming; Misogyny and biphobia (both external and internalized); Mentions of Eating Disorder; Codependency; Emotional Abuse; Drug addiction; Sex worker Dean (consensual and sex-positive but I know sex work still can be a trigger so I'm putting it here. It's like two lines of implication though.)

Characters: Jace Winchester, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, John Winchester, Adam Milligan, Jo Harvelle, Michael, Ruby, Kevin Tran, various OCs

Main Pairings: Jace/Jo (one-sided), Jace/Ruby, Jace/Michael, Jace/Kevin, Michael/Kevin, Jace/Michael/Kevin (polyamorous), Sam/OFC, Adam/OC/Dean (love triangle, yes I know everyone hates those fight me about it.)

Now that that's all established: Hey everyone! If you follow me on tumblr at sisficionado then you know that I love sisfics, and that I've been planning this story for some time. Now it's finally time to publish and I'm super excited! Jace is a character I've had in various rps for over a year and she's very close to my heart. I'm going to start with a few notes for readers who like to look before they leap, but I promise later chapters won't have this long commentary.

The story starts just before the pilot, and is canon divergent. Don't worry, the apocalypse plotline and everything leading up to it is in tact-it just unfolds a little differently, with a few extra elements. In particular, this fic expands on hunting culture and on the history of angels and Heaven. It also includes a number of OCs outside of Jace. There's also a lot of original lore and cases, as well as some cases based on ones shown in SPN tie-in novels and in the anime series. I don't generally go through each individual canon case unless something significantly different from canon happens in the story, though. I'm lazy like that.

Anyway, if you have the time and feel like it, please review-I've worked so hard on this story, and I'd love to know what people think! Also, if you like you can drop by the blog that I run about this story (joancamilla-dot-tumblr-dot-com, there's also a link in my profile if that's easier). The blog holds pictures of Jace's faceclaim (Emilie de Ravin), other OCs, songs, meta, graphics, manips, and me laughing at my own jokes.

Lastly, I'd like to thank a couple people without whom this story just wouldn't have been possible. My best bitches Brittany and Maddi are incredible, serving as everything from sounding boards to beta readers to voices of reasons, even co-writing certain scenes with me and letting me borrow their OCs. Their support and motivation is invaluable. Also, they laugh at my jokes.

I also wanna thank the lovelies over at sisficionado, especially Erin (dwellindreams1019) and Christine (prettypanda117)-the authors of my two favorite sisfics, Carry On and and Where the Wayward Tread, respectively. Your enthusiasm and dedication is truly inspiring.

And now finally, onto the story!

Prologue

From the end spring new beginnings. -Pliny the Elder

Lawrence Memorial Hospital. May 3rd, 1983. 1:06 PM.

John Winchester ran a hand down his face and glanced over at his children. They were asleep, both of them, tangled up in the chair next to him, with Sam on Dean's lap. John had tried to take Sam from his oldest son, but Dean had insisted, clinging to his brother, and Sam seemed content with this.

Even now, Sam was sleeping like a rock. Yesterday had been his birthday, and he was still wearing the frosting from his cake. Dean's rest was less peaceful-even curled up with his head on the arm of the chair, he seemed ready to jump up at any moment. John could relate. It's how he'd slept most nights since he'd gotten back from Vietnam. His stomach turned at the thought of his boy as a veteran.

But kids were resilient in a way adults weren't. Dean would be okay. Sammy would be okay. He tried to tell convince himself, over and over. Trying not to think about fire and blood and the fact that Mary, his Mary, was gone gone gone. Trying not to think about the fact that there was no possible way their daughter could have survived the fire when Mary didn't. That at any moment, a doctor would come out, apologize for his loss, and he wouldn't be surprised but it would still be another knife twisting in his gut.

For as long as he'd been here-and he was not sure how long it had been-a doctor had come out every so often, telling him that his daughter was struggling, but not hopeless. She's a fighter, they told him. There's a chance.

But John knew from personal experience that a fighting spirit was no guarantee of survival.

John was no fool. In his mind, he knew that his daughter would never survive. There was just no way. No way she could survive her mother's charred remains-three months before the due date, no less.

And yet.

Deep in his heart, he couldn't help but hold onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, she'd survive. The medical staff certainly seemed to think there was a chance, otherwise he wouldn't still be here. As for John himself, maybe he just needed something to hold onto, some light in what was the darkest night of his life, because trying to let go of that hope was like trying to to pull teeth.

"Mr. Winchester?"

John looked up abruptly. In front of him was a tall, dark-skinned woman in scrubs, looking as exhausted as he felt.

"I'm Dr. Alderman. I'm the head surgeon here."

"Look, I-"

"Your daughter is alive." She seemed to pick up on the helplessness in his eyes, because she refused to let him finish. "She's...fragile. Her lungs weren't fully formed. We didn't think she'd make it, but she just wouldn't give up. She's stable now. You can see her if you like."

John blinked up at her the way one blinks at the sun in the morning, when it feels like it was so dark just moments ago. It took what felt like a long time for her words to sink in. Then he looked over at his sons.

"We can have a nurse look after them," the doctor assured him.

He nodded. Stood up slowly. Refused to leave the room until he saw with his own eyes that his children were being looked after, and even then he was reluctant to leave. Then he followed the surgeon down a series of hallways, and it felt like hours and seconds all at once before he was standing behind a glass screen, staring at his daughter.

She was the tiniest baby he'd ever seen, covered in a strange coat of thin blonde hair. She was lying on her stomach in an incubator, with tubes hooked up to her. Her thumbs were in her mouth, and she looked to be asleep.

It was a strange feeling, twisted and bittersweet. This was his baby, his daughter. Any joy he felt came along with guilt, and that guilt came with more guilt-as if his baby girl deserved his affection, and Mary deserved his devastation, and he should only be able to feel one at a time.

He stared helplessly, feeling very lost. Mary should be here.

A moment later, a clipboard was pushed into his hands. A birth certificate was held in place by the metal clip, and a pen was attached to the top.

And every disagreement over names that had taken place between John and his wife seemed so very inconsequential now. There was no question. He didn't even hesitate before scribbling out the name that Mary had wanted.

Joan Camilla Winchester.

So that's the prologue. If you have the time, I'd love to know what you think!