A/N: Chapter 14:
Alas, we have finally come to an end, friends. Thank you all so much for sticking with me throughout this journey and putting up with my shit, haha. Y'all are the bees knees and all that jazz. So, here you are. The last chapter!
The situation left Dean with a bitter taste in his mouth. He dug the heel of his palms into his eyes so hard that little explosions of stars could be seen behind his lids, wanting desperately to rid himself of any traces of tears that filled his eyes, to save himself perhaps just an ounce of humiliation from his less than successful conversation with the older Novak.
He abruptly stood and took a deep breath before storming out of the cafeteria. If Cas didn't want him then that was his problem. He should be jumping at the chance to be with him, after all it was kind of a big deal that he was even willing to date Cas, even if it was in private, as he would be the only male to ever be with Dean. Cas should have been flattered by the offer.
He had hoped to make a clean get away, to just leave the school and go home for the day to sulk and feel sorry for himself, but much to his chagrin he heard a set of footsteps running behind him followed by the voice that lately has been making him cringe. Fucking Jo.
"Dean! What the fuck did you say to Cas!?" she demanded, anger lacing her voice.
Dean bit the inside of his cheek and tried compose himself. He didn't want to hear whatever lecture Jo was going to give him. He didn't think he was in the wrong here, and he wasn't in the mood to defend himself to Cas' female body guard, and so he kept walking, picking up the pace and taking longer strides. Why couldn't this nightmare just be over with already? He didn't get far though until he felt a small hand on his arm, gripping the sleeve of his worn leather jacket and forcefully spinning him around. Jo, when she was determined, was admittedly strong as fuck.
"What the fuck do you want, Joanna? I'm not in the mood, okay?" he spat, fists clenched at his side.
Jo's expression of pure fury only intensified, her grip on his sleeve tightening.
"What did you say to Cas? I swear to fucking God, Dean, if you did something to upset that boy again I will not hesitate to..."
"I told him I was in love with him and he flipped his lid so shut the fuck up and let me go" Dean hissed, effectively cutting Jo off from the lecture she was about to lay on him.
Jo's expression would almost be comedic if it wasn't for the circumstances. She was gaping at him, brown eyes widened. For once in her life, she was rendered speechless.
"Now, can you kindly let me the fuck go?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"Dean..." Jo started, but once again, Dean cut her off.
"Don't, Jo. Just don't. Leave it alone."
"No, I won't leave it alone, Dean. What the fuck is your problem? What happened?" she asked, voice indicating that she meant business. She wouldn't let it slide.
Dean scoffed and ran a hand through his sandy hair in frustration.
"What happened? The fucker rejected me. I thought this is what he wanted. I poured my damn soul out to him and he rejected me. Said he deserved better."
Jo quirked a brow at the statement. That didn't sound like Cas. He might not have been Dean's biggest fan at the time but if Dean actually came out to him and told him how he felt, Cas wouldn't be so heartless to say he deserved better. Something wasn't adding up.
"So you told him how you felt?" she asked.
"That's what I said."
"You apologized for being such a massive dickwad?"
"Fuck, Jo. Yes. I did, okay?"
"And you asked him to date you?"
"More or less. I asked him to give me a chance."
"So you were willing to come out to the school and openly be with him?"
"Well, no. I told him we could date in secret. And the asshole walked out on me."
Jo punched Dean in the arm with her free hand, the other still busy gripping his jacket.
"Are you dense, Dean Winchester? Seriously. Did your mother drop you on your thick head as a baby?" she said, a deep frown set on her face.
"What? He should have been fucking thrilled, Jo. But he rejected me. Like an asshole."
"Oh, shut up. Think about someone other than yourself for 5 damn seconds. Cas has been through so much, Dean. He has been bullied, kicked, punched, fucking spit on, all because he liked other guys. So he repressed it. He didn't pursue anyone. Kept any crushes he had to himself. Until that stupid fucking note. It was the best and worse thing that's ever happened to him. He became strong. Proud of who he was. He fought for himself and for other gay kids in the school. He became an example. Someone that people like Samandriel could look up to. You're asking him to hide again, and that's fucking selfish. He's a great guy, Dean. And he deserves someone who will hold his hand in the hallway. Someone who will take him on dates and kiss him stupid against a locker. He didn't say he's too good for you he said he was too good to let someone try and shove him back into the closet." she said sternly, closing her eyes and letting out a deep sigh before opening them again and looking at Dean, her expression softening slightly.
"I get it, okay? You don't want to come out, you're not ready to. And that's okay. But one day someone is going to come along and sweep Cas off his feet while you're sitting on the sidelines. Cas needs someone who will shout their love for him from the rooftops. He deserves it. All I'm saying is if you're truly in love with Castiel, you know what to do." she conceded, finally releasing her grip on his jacket, smoothing it out with her hand and giving his arm a friendly pat, offering him a sad smile before sauntering off down the hall to see if she could find Cas.
Dean just stood there after she left, not bothering to turn around and watch her walk away. Her words hit him like a freight train and he was left mulling it all over in his head. She was right. The fucker was completely right.
Castiel was special. He was kind, intelligent, strong. He stuck up for his friends and he didn't let anybody push him around. People like him were rare. And the thought of some smug bastard coming along and wooing Cas made Dean feel jealously pit in his stomach. He wanted to be the one to kiss him stupid. To hold his hand. To make him feel safe and protected. He wanted to hold him and stroke his hair. He was in love, and he doubted that anybody could come close to making his heart pound the way that Cas did. He chewed his bottom lip and finally turned around, walking through the halls with a heaviness weighing in his heart. He needed to go home. He needed to sort his thoughts. There was a lot to think about and he felt like he was suffocating in feelings. This was all so new to him. But he had a choice to make. Let who could be the love of his life go and continue school well liked, popular, untouchable, or say fuck it all and become an outcast, spend the rest of his senior year picked on and mocked but have Cas at his side to let him know it's okay.
It was a tough choice to make, and he had to really think about what he was going to do. Both actions had consequences, pros and cons, and it was no doubt going to be one of the most difficult choices he ever had to make.
OoO
Despite everything, Cas was feeling pretty good. There was the constant nagging in the back of his mind, and the unmistakable clench of his heart. Dean loved him, apparently. But not enough to be seen with him in public. That night, after he got home from school, he couldn't help but to replay the strange and unexpected conversation over and over in his head. The look on Dean's face. The pain. The sincerity.
He wanted to be with Dean, despite everything. It's all he's wanted. But he couldn't believe Dean was truly in love with him if he wanted to keep him a secret. Love didn't work that was. Love made you want to let the world know how happy you were. It made you want to proudly show off the person who stole your heart, and though it was hard to walk away, Cas knew he made the right choice, and so he went to bed that night with a heavy heart but comforted by the fact that he stuck to his morals and didn't let anyone try and change him.
OoO
Feeling marginally better than he had the previous day, Cas went to school still feeling that heaviness in his chest but otherwise he was fine. He could laugh with his friends, get his work done fast and efficiently, and he even managed to comfort another kid who had come to him sometime after first period and confided in him that he was confused about his sexuality. Cas had promised if he wanted to talk after school, he would help him sort his feelings out, and the grateful look the freshman gave him made Cas beam. He was doing something good. He was making a difference.
It helped that he didn't come across Dean all morning. He wasn't at his locker between classes and his Impala wasn't in the parking lot when Cas walked to school that morning. He assumed that Dean was feeling either too embarrassed or too angry to show up that day, and though he was proud of the choice he made, he still felt a little guilty for rejecting Dean. It took guts to come out to someone, even if you were trying to get with the person you were coming out to.
By lunch he was feeling pretty hungry, so he stashed his books in his locker after class and went to the cafeteria, grabbing himself a burger, fries, a soda, and an apple that had no place on a tray with a burger, fries and a soda and headed to his usual table. He figured Jo must have spoke to his group of friends because nobody pestered him about what Dean wanted the previous day, and for that he was thankful.
The cafeteria was always pretty packed, and he figured about half the school was in there, busying themselves by eating and chatting away, happy for the break from learning. He himself was distracted by Garth, who had stolen two of his fries and was making his best attempt at impersonating a walrus by sticking the two fries under his upper lip.
He was laughing at the silliness of it when he Kevin nudged his side with his elbow and nodded his head toward the table of the middle of the cafeteria.
"What the fuck's Winchester doing?" Kevin asked.
Cas just stared in confusion. Dean was climbing onto of the table, clearing his throat loudly. He looked terrified, nervous, even, and Cas noticed that he was holding a sheet of paper, the hand that held it trembling slightly. By that point most of the students in the cafeteria had gone silent, curious over what Dean could possibly be doing.
"Can I have your attention, please?" Dean said loudly, and any remaining students that have been conversing had stopped, averting their eyes to the green eyed boy.
"I uh, I wrote a note. I wanted to read it out loud." he started, and Cas felt his heart skip a beat when Dean's eyes scanned the room and ended up on him.
"Well this is weird." he heard Chuck say to Jo, and he couldn't help but to nod in agreement, because yes, it was very strange.
"So uhm, here it goes." Dean said with a nervous chuckle, breaking Cas from his thoughts.
Everyone was staring at the older Winchester in anticipation. Their schoolmates looked up to him. He was instantly popular since the day they started freshman year. He never met a girl that didn't want to be with him at one point. Never met a guy who didn't want to be him. So to say everyone in the cafeteria was hooked on every word he was saying and giving him their full attention would be an understatement.
Dean took a deep breath and looked down at the paper.
"Dear Anon. It has come to my attention that I've been a friggen dick, and I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I fucked up, I know that now. I was so worried what other people would think, what they would say, that I let it get to me and it made me act like a grade A jerk.
I'm not very good at expressing my feelings, I think that's obvious to anyone who knows me. My brother Sammy likes to call me emotionally constipated and I think he's not far from the truth, but uh, I'll give it a shot, anyway.
When I got your first note in my locker, I got this stupid smile on my face. I've had people give me notes before, but the way you spoke, the words you used, it got to me. I tried to ignore it, but eventually it consumed me. It ruined my relationship, because nobody compared to the person who wrote those notes. I started chasing a ghost, and with every new note you wrote me, I fell deeper and deeper.
I was more than content spending the rest of my months at high school chasing girls, having no strings attached. I didn't want a relationship. And I now know that I never wanted to date any of these girls because none of them made my heart pound the way you did.
You're extraordinary. You stand up for what you believe in, and you willingly put your own ass on the line to protect the people you care about and that's more than I can say for myself.
When I found out who you were, I freak out. I panicked. But I had a good friend point out to me that you're the only person to ever make me feel so appreciated, so loved, and my stubbornness could end up making me lose out on my chance to have something real, something worth stepping outside of my comfort zone for. It was that day I realized I was in love with you.
I made a mistake when I spoke to you yesterday. You're fucking amazing. You're everything I've ever wanted in a partner. You're strong, you're smart, and man, you're beautiful. Like, on the inside and the outside and shit. You're a good person and I should have never asked to hide you. If anybody has a problem with my feelings for you, they can suck my dick. They don't matter. You do.
Please give me a chance. I can be the person you described in those notes. I promise. I won't let you down. Because, fuck. I love you." Dean read, folding the piece of paper and shoving it in his pocket.
Cas stared up at him, his eyes pricking with tears. He felt like time stood still when Dean jumped off the table and headed over to him, his friends all staring in confusion and him in both anticipation and nervousness, they eyes of their schoolmates glued to him.
He swallowed thickly when Dean approached, reaching down to grab his hand and pull him up, and he was too dumbfounded to resist, so he stood, a little surprised when Dean didn't release his hand when he was upright.
"I made a mistake, I should have never treated you the way I did. Give me a chance. I love you, Castiel Novak. I love you so much it's driving me crazy. I don't care what anyone has to say about it, okay? Please tell me you'll let me be yours." Dean pleaded, releasing Cas' hand and bringing them up to cup Cas' cheeks, a thumb stoking lightly against his cheekbone.
Cas stared at Dean, blue eyes bleeding into green, his heart pounding a mile a minute. Was this even real life? He would have never in a million years expected Dean Winchester come out to not only him, but to the entire school. Dean was giving up everything to be with him. Complete with a grand romantic gesture. He had put his ass on the line for a lot of people and while his friends always defended him and stood by him, nobody had ever put their ass on the line for him the way Dean just did. His tongue darted out to wet his lips and he felt a stray tear roll down his cheek and onto Dean's hand.
"I love you too, Dean. I would be honored to be with you" he said, his voice coming out as a whisper.
The look on Dean's face was one he'd never forget. He looked elated. His green eyes brightening and a grin breaking out on his face, and before he could take in that beautiful expression, a pair of warm, plump lips were on his, gasps filling the cafeteria.
He didn't care about anyone else in that moment, his own hands coming up to rest on Dean's waist, pouring everything he had into the kiss.
Along with the gasps and buzz of shocked people talking about them, some in awe and others in disgust, he heard someone's chair scrape against the floor followed by a set of hands clapping. He went to pull away from the kiss to investigate but Dean pulled him back in, kissing him even harder. Soon, one person clapping turned into two, and then four, and before he knew it, there was a loud roar of applause for them, and at that moment he knew what real happiness was. Not only did he get the guy but he assumed that Dean's influence on the school greatly helped in the acceptance of gay and lesbian students, and deep inside, he knew that things were only going to go up from there.
OoO
A/N: So, here we are at the end. I hope you guys found the conclusion satisfying. I love you all for sticking with me and giving me encouragement and support. I would have never finished this if it wasn't for you guys so thank you. :')