I Can't Live Like This Anymore

Disclaimer:

I do not own Frozen

Summary:

Because a teenager who has lost their parents and feels unworthy of anyone's time or love is prone to depression. Anna comes to Elsa's door one last time to say her final goodbye. Implied Elsanna?

"Elsa."

Elsa's heart ached to hear the defeat in Anna's voice. Her sister rarely said anything more than her name nowadays and each time her voice sounded a little more desperate, filled with a little more pain. It was a struggle not to fling the door open and rush forward to hold her. She lost track of the times she'd reached out to the doorknob only to stop when she saw the ice clinging to it. Instead she would slide down, back against the door. This was as close as she could get. Anna wouldn't be safe if she opened the door.

"Elsa I'm here to say goodbye."

She closed her eyes. Her sister was giving up on her. She'd known it was only a matter of time. Of course Anna had been spending more time at her door since their parents had died but over the past several months she had been visiting less and less.

"I doubt you're actually listening but that's okay. I just figured this would be better than a letter." Anna chuckled sadly, "After all, who would bother reading it?"

Elsa frowned.

"Anyway, this is the last time I'll bother you. You won't have to worry about your annoying little sister anymore."

Her frown deepened. Something was seriously wrong.

"You see I just can't take it. I can't live like this anymore. So I'm not going to."

Blue eyes widened. She didn't mean-

"Live that is."

No! Elsa scrambled to stand up, not even noticing how the ice grew thicker on the door.

"It'll be better this way," she said with a sad smile as she rested her forehead against the cool door.

She tried to turn the doorknob but unfortunately the door and part of the wall was all incased in a layer of thick ice. She kicked it but the ice just grew thicker, spikes sprouting out and preventing her from reaching the door.

"No one ever really noticed me anyway," Anna whispered. She took a step back and looked at the door, unaware of the noise going on inside her sister's bedroom as things were being flung against the door in an attempt to break the door down. "Goodbye Elsa," she said softly before turning around and walking away. She hadn't really expected her sister to open the door but it still hurt to know how little Elsa cared.

"ANNA!" Elsa screamed but the sound never left the room, blocked off by so much ice. Tears were streaming down her face. Her body was exhausted from her failed efforts to get the door open. She clenched her fists, ice forming around them before she released another scream as she shot her magic at the door.

The door flew off, embedding itself in the wall of the opposite side of the hall.

The blonde ran out, not caring that ice was forming a path under her own feet.

Anna who had just reached the end of the hall had turned around at the loud noise and was confused by the sight of her sister running down a path of ice that formed with each step she took.

Elsa didn't stop. She practically jumped on the other girl, wrapping her arms around her and unintentionally pinning her sister to the wall. The blonde couldn't stop the choked sobs that escaped her.

She blinked in surprise. "Elsa…" There was ice and snow forming all around them. Since when had her sister had powers? Was this why she always hid away in her room? She felt herself pulled to the floor as Elsa collapsed. Was her sister crying? Suddenly she felt ashamed for ever thinking her sister didn't care. Tears formed at the corners of her eyes.

"It's all my fault. I never wanted to hurt you. Never. But that's exactly what I did," she said, crying against the crook of her sister's neck.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Anna whispered.

Elsa shook her head. "It was forbidden. I heard Father ordering everyone that they were never to speak about it and to never talk to you about it. I wasn't allowed to see you until I could control my magic but…" She released another choked sob.

If all the snow and ice around them was any indication, her sister had never really gained any control. Suddenly she felt angry at their parents for lying about why Elsa never spent time with her and for separating them. She wrapped her arms tightly around the blonde. "It's okay."

She pulled back as she replied, "No it's not okay! You almost-! You were going to-!" Tears filled her eyes.

Anna wiped away the tears as tears began streaming down her own face. She closed her eyes as she felt Elsa return the favor and rested her forehead against her sister's.

"I couldn't go on without you," she whispered. It was only the thought of Anna that kept her going day after day. She had lived for those moments when her sister spoke to her through the door even if she couldn't bring herself to reply.

She felt warm inside at those words. Someone needed her. Elsa needed her just as she needed Elsa. "Don't shut me out again," she whimpered. She couldn't handle it if her sister locked herself away from her again after this.

Recalling how she had blasted the door open she glanced back and saw it still stuck on the wall opposing her bedroom. "I don't think that's going to be a problem," she said with a wry smile.

Anna followed her sister's gaze, her teal eyes widening at the sight of her sister's door having obviously been blown off. Then she started giggling.

Elsa smiled at her sister before she too started giggling. "Do you mind sharing your room while they fix that?" The sight of her sister's bright smile and sparkling eyes warmed her heart.

"Of course I don't!"

Truthfully she was still terrified of her powers hurting her sister but leaving Anna alone was no longer an option. Besides, despite all the snow and ice around them none of it had hurt her sister so far. Maybe it would be okay.

"Um, Elsa?"

"Yes?" Why was Anna blushing?

"Could you please get off of me? My legs are falling asleep."

Realizing she was straddling her sister's lap, her face flushed slightly as she quickly stood up and turned away. She felt Anna's hand grab hers.

"Elsa?"

Hearing the worry in her voice, she turned around with a smile and pulled her sister closer. "Why don't we go down to the kitchen and have some hot chocolate?"

Anna smiled again, the worry lingering in her gaze. "Okay."

As they both sat beside one another, sipping their drinks Elsa saw the worry and pain creep back into her sister's eyes.

"Elsa?"

She smiled softly at her.

"Do…Do you wanna build a snowman?"

The blonde reached over and squeezed her sister's hand. "Yes." And Elsa knew as she saw Anna smile that someday they were both going to be okay. Not today. Probably not tomorrow. But someday. Just so long as they had each other.

My first Frozen oneshot. I plan on doing either a longer oneshot or a multi-chapter Frozen fic next that will be less angst and more humor or at least less dark. Oh, and it will actually have some real Elsanna. Maybe I'll come back and write another chapter for this after I finish that.