Summary: The school play is coming up and Team RWBY and Team JNPR are assigned to produce it. With a smutty script written by Blake, sensual costumes by Yang, under the leadership of Commander-in-Theatre Nora, how will this tragic love story unfold between two star-crossed team captains?

Ruby-eo and Jaune-liet

RWBY

Act 1 Scene 2

As the Vytal Festival comes to a close, as per tradition a pair of teams is assigned to produce a play. For this year, Team RWBY and Team JNPR have been chosen to write, produce, and execute the school play.

Act 1 Scene 2. The Beacon Theater

A pair of curtains pull back. The set is a destroyed downtowns with cars on fire, broken bottles and newspapers scattered about, and Pyrrha sitting in a corner dressed as a random homeless person. Ruby shambles out of stage right, dressed in her red civilian attire but torn and ripped at the joints. The outfit is slightly revealing, as designed by Yang, but still modest. Ruby wears make up of plastic and fake blood, giving her the appearance of being one of the unholy risen dead.

Ruby: Jaaaune… Jaaaune... I want to eat your braaain…

Ruby shambles around the stage, arms stretched and tongue sticking out. Jaune enters stage left dressed provocatively in daisy dukes with bikini on top.

Jaune: Oh my! I got me some of the vapors!

Jaune promptly faints fanning himself with a large fried chicken drumstick. Ruby shambles closer.

Ruby: Jaaaune… Jaaaune… your braaain… I want… I want… your braaain…!

Ruby approaches the fallen Jaune, leaning over him. In a dramatic moment, Ruby leans over Jaune prepared to consume the peanut-sized organ within his skull. However, at the last moment, before her lips reaches Jaune's to suck out the delicious morsel, Ruby turns to the audience and delivers a soliloquy.

Ruby: Jaaaune… to be… or not be… that is the quest-braaain…! Tis' nobler in the mind… braaains… To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune… braaains…

In the audience, Weiss and Blake are watching the rehearsal. Blake is taking down notes for comments and suggestions to provide a more engaging performance. Weiss watches with her mouth open. She tries to speak but struggles to get words out. Finally, Weiss manages to turn to Blake and speak her mind.

Weiss: Blake… about this screenplay…

Blake: What about it?

Weiss: It's… just that… this play… Blake, it's not that I'm not into the whole two star-crossed lovers during a zombie apocalypse where one is an eloquent undead ghoul with Tourette's and the other is a mentally handicapped oaf who speaks with a fried chicken accent but… wait, where was I going with this?

Blake: There was something wrong with my screenplay?

Weiss: Oh yes. Your screenplay is ridiculous.

Blake: Well everyone voted on it and agreed to it.

Weiss: Not everyone. didn't get to vote.

Blake: You walked out.

Weiss: I… okay, yes I did but still. Shouldn't I have a bit more input as Head Critic?

Blake: Your reaction is good enough.

Blake jots a few more notes down before standing up and exiting the audience to get onto the stage and discuss a few comments and pointers with Jaune and Ruby.

Pyrrha the Tree enters the audience. She seats herself besides Weiss.

Pyrrha: What's wrong Weiss. Why so gloom and doom?

Weiss: It's nothing... well, okay it's a lot of somethings. I just wanted to be the lead actress! This was going to be my debut… okay, sure I've been in some multi-million dollar musicals before but those were for family and business associates. This is the school play Pyrrha! You only get to be in a school play like… once! When you're in school!

Pyrrha: So you want to be lead actress, eh…

Weiss: Not with this stupid script… stupid Script Writer Blake… stupid Commander-in-Theatre Nora approving all of it… stupid Yang… with… well actually Ruby does look pretty cute in that dress.

Pyrrha: Agreed. Even though you're Head Critic, it seems they're not listening to your input at all.

Weiss: You got that right. Is it so wrong to want to make something… good?

Pyrrha: Absolutely not. But Weiss, I believe in you. I know you can come up with a better script and direct a better play

Weiss: You know what Pyrrha… you're right! If I was directing this then I'd have… I'd have… I'm not quite sure what I'll have but I'll definitely make you lead actress!

Pyrrha's lips curve into a smile. Pyrrha is a happy tree.

Pyrrha: If you come up with something, I'm all ears.

Weiss: Thank you for letting me vent. If there's a way to unseat Commander-in-Theatre Nora and her lackeys… then we can make this school play the best there ever was!

Pyrrha and Weiss exit the audience.

Costume Manager Yang, Lead Actor Jaune, and Lead Actress Ruby enters the audience.

Jaune: Yaaang! My butt is too tight in these daisy dukes.

Yang: If you want a smaller butt then I'm more than happy to beat some fat out of it…

Ruby slaps Yang on the back of the head.

Ruby: That's dirty, Yang!

Yang: W-What? I-I… what!? I wasn't-

Ruby leans in close to Yang and whispers urgently.

Ruby: He poops from there!

Yang: Oh… Oh! Ruby… oh my sweet, innocent little Ruby.

Yang ruffles Ruby's head before turning to Jaune.

Yang: Start working out you prima donna.

Jaune: But I work out with Pyrrha every night…

Yang: What.

Ruby claps excitedly.

Ruby: That sounds healthy! Can I join you guys during your workout sessions?

Yang: Absolutely not!

Jaune: Why not? It gets lonely with just me and Pyrrha doing it on the rooftop. Sometimes we might want to try something different. You know, experiment with different techniques.

Yang: Y-You do it on the rooftop!?

Ruby: That sounds fun! We're young; we should be experimenting! Yang, can I join?

Yang: I-I… No… no! No no no!

Ruby: But Yang…

Yang: As your sister I said 'no' and that's final!

Yang shot a glare at Jaune.

Yang: I don't approve of you, Jaune… so don't lay a finger on Ruby or else I'll wreck you a new butt hole!

Yang exits the audience in a fury.

Ruby: Do you think… Yang doesn't want us to be friends?

Jaune: Maybe it's just the stress of the costume making? You look cute by the way.

Ruby looks away from Jaune and blushes.

Ruby: Th-thanks!

Jaune: Ah well. Rehearsal today is over. Want to get some ice cream?

Ruby: Yup! You know me so well. C-can I get strawberry? You know the one with the little cheesecake bits so when you bite into them they get all gooey and chewy your mouth!?

Jaune smiles and ruffles Ruby's hair who begs him to quit it.

Jaune: Sure. Come on, let's get there before the ice cream parlor closes.

Jaune offers a hand to Ruby who gladly takes it. Together they exit the stage, hand in hand to head to the ice cream parlor and enjoy a nice outing together. It's a wonderfully bonding experience between two team captains… two friends spending time together!

Unbeknownst to them, from the shadows of the stage, they were being watched by the most unhappy tree of them all...

Act 1 Scene 2 Fin

Author's Notes: I'm honestly just making stuff as I go along. But let's see where this goes… ;_;