sooo I know I promised the professor and his student update but I saw this in my evernote queue for my stories. Professor and his student needs some revising and I just don't have it in me to do today. But it will be on its way. I want the new season to go like this but y'all know how shonda take her show back and do all of that crazy stuff...this was supposed to be posted before the premiere but eh whatevs lol

oh and on another note, this story jumps from first person to third person. It is used as insight to how Olivia is feeling. Third person is her truth.

this is dedicated to angchick because she got me back writing and daprince's because she is my awesome twisty sister! we are like Mer and Christina from greys :) and because she finished fitz is her mcdreamy!

"Come on Liv. You can do it. Stand in the sun with me. Save me. Love me. We are already here. Why go back now? We have handled the funeral for Harrison-"

"We?" Olivia cut him off with a raised brow.

"Yes, we. I helped with the casket. I held you while you cried. We can go now Jules. We can go to our bungalow, get you back in that swimsuit, crack open that bottle of red and get back to our normal." Jake says with a crooked smile.

He tries to be like Fitz so bad. Like it would kill him to have Fitz one up him. But their normal would slowly kill her on the inside until she was like Mellie. Bitter and otherwise annoyed most of the time. Olivia and Jake are still sitting on the tarmac after the repeated calls from the White House. She finished the case of the creepy rapist of a congressman then left after passing Fitz in the lobby of the building. She kept her eyes front and her hands to herself, even though she felt her fingers involuntarily reach for him.

She walked past her love. The one guy that actually soothed her in a time of raging storms. Even though their love was the cause of that storm. They could face anything together. He had been an excellent example of that for the last two months even if Jake didn't know that.

"Jake, I think it's best if I stay. They need me. Fitz needs me." Olivia resolves. "I need him." She whispers into the cabin.

"What? Why? Please HE keeps calling? He only wants you because he knows you will keep running back when he calls." Jake says disgusted. He crossed his arms as if he was a child having a tantrum and that's exactly what was going on. He was being a child with a temper problem.

She stares at him with hatred. He really does not hear her. He does not understand the pain that she goes through. This started off as a get-a-way trip. A trip where she had to dismiss herself. She had to fix the scandal and the scandal just so happen was her. She was the problem. She was moments away from a nervous breakdown when she finally boarded the plane months ago. She brought the gladiators over the wrong cliff. Huck tortured, framed and thrown in the hole. Abby, dumped by David how many times among all the lies, endured all the hurt and pain I caused. Quinn, now a rouge B613 agent, dated Charlie, now just existing. And Harrison...her sweet sweet Harrison. Only God could truly say what happened him. But she is sure her Dad knows. Oh, he knows everything. It's his job. And with that, she's bitter all over again.

Her thoughts fade away as Jake shakes her arm, "Julia, the pilot is waiting. Get out of the shade. Come back to the sun with me."

"You want to stand in the sun? You want a tan that damn bad? You take the plane. Go wherever you want but as far as I am concerned, I'm staying here." Olivia got to her feet, showing her confidence.

"Olivia, you father is back in charge. Do you know what that means?" Jakes asked. He had to pull her back in.

"He gave me this plane, Jake. I asked him to send me away. He didn't force me. He didn't threaten me. This was my choice and I can change my mind again if I want to." She answer back defiantly.

"How convenient." He scoffed looking at the carpet.

"What? What is convenient?" She snaps at him quickly losing the little patience she did have.

"Oh nothing. Funny that when you name was put out there for being Fitz's whore he tried to put you on a plane. And now after Fitz is President again. After you get everything your little fragile and naive heart could want, you are back on this plane getting ready to leave. Sounds like he played you just like I said he would." Jake rushed out quickly. The anger flashed in his eyes quickly but went away just as quick. Only a dim smoldering sense of hate remained in his tensed body language.

The wheels begin to turn quickly in her head. As much as she hate to admit it, Jake makes a lot of sense. And although she was sure he said all of this to steer her away from leaving...to scare her into staying on the plane but it just motivates her to leave.

She grabs her phone and purse, "Ma'am, I need to get off the plane! I need to get off. I have an emergency."

"Yes ma'am." The flight attendant answers with a smile. She turns to notify the captain about the change in flight plan. The door opens and a slight breeze of fresh air blows against Olivia's flushed cheeks. She knows she's doing what's right. How could she leave again?

Jake jumps up, quickly blocking her path, "No. I'm not losing you again, Olivia."

She sigh with a frown, "That's just it, Jake. You never had me." She blows past him running down the stairs to her luggage. The town car is still here, Tom is now standing on the side with a smile.

"I figured I couldn't get rid of you." He said with a smile.

"You couldn't even if you really tried. Plan F is now in effect. Now take me to Fitz."

His face suddenly solemn, "Yes ma'am."

I glance around the town car in thought. Thoughts, that were like lightning strikes in my head. So many thoughts, so fast, so quick. I grab my phone, rejecting another call from the white house but dialing another number. I text Huck the updated plan to have him set the rest of the plan in motion. Fitz and I have to talk about so much but first, I have to be there for him. I have to make up for the time I was gone. I text Huck back about my suspicions. He text back saying he will look into it with Quinn. Apparently, she was still working while OPA was…on break.

I'm so deep in thought I don't realize we have arrived until Tom opens that door and pulls me from the car. We are in an alley behind what appears to be a brown store front building. My eyebrows furrow with confusion. This looks familiar but I can't place it.

"Hey Tom, I thought you said you'd bring me to Fitz?"

"A stop was requested first, Ma'am. Just go right through that door." Tom answers as he pauses to listen through the ear piece. "I'll meet you back in this spot, Ma'am. Her answers before he walks away.

I walk down the hall all by my lonesome. It's a hallway with no doors. No exit. Just two doors on either side of the hall. Tom's retreating form can be seen at the door I just entered. I steadying myself to see Fitz and apologize. I'm not running. I'm going to stay with him forever this time. That's the last thought I have before I open the door at the other end of the hall. My hands are sweating. The hair on the back of my neck rises. There is a lone desk in the office with a curio cabinet behind it. There is a few chairs but the room is basically clean. What is this place? There is a computer on the desk, whose screen is still lit. Fitz must not have left to long ago. I lean again the table, truly feeling the weight on my shoulders. The weight of the world I'd been carrying all these months. I'm going to let the weight off tonight. No matter what.

"Imagine my surprise when I hear you got off the plane." A voice speaks behind me.

I immediately tense up. I wasn't ready. I wasn't supposed to... He isn't supposed to be here.

"Dad?" I turn to face my literal fears.

"Olivia." He tersely answers back.

"What um, what are you doing here?" My eyes look around for Fitz. This really isn't the best time for him to walk in.

"Looking for someone?" He asked with that condescending smirk.

"No, sir." I put my head down. And there it is. I'm catapulted back to my childhood where fear and servitude reigned.

"You sure? You looked so hopeful when you walked in. Now you look…deflated. Are you sure you're not looking for the President? I mean that would be the only reason you would get off the plane that I set up for you. And to think, I was going to say no hard feelings for taking Jake with you. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk." He crosses the room, now standing closer to me.

"You...you set me up?" I ask. I don't really have to ask. I've know it to be true all this time. I just didn't want to confront it.

"No, you set yourself up. All I did was roll the dice. You called for the plane. You wanted to 'escape' from your problems. Problems you would not have if you would just listen to me."

"I thought you cared about me. We...in the hospital...I thought..." I'm a stuttering mess. I haven't stuttered since Dad made a surprise trip to my boarding school in the 8th grade. He caught me holding hands with Jermaine Peters. He yelled at me and two days later Jermaine was transferring to another school.

"I told you I care about you. I would do anything for you. I do not like Grant. I despise the man but I care about you. And for some unsavory reason you cared that he would lose the election. So I did what you do. I did what I taught you to do. I fixed it. You couldn't do what I did so I had it done for you. You wanted him to win and he won. That is the price of a free and fair election." Dad said cool as a cucumber.

"Fair? Free?" I yelled. "Fair and free for whom? Because from where I stand, no one got fair treatment. None of this was free for any one. Everyone paid for their suffering. They paid to let you torture them. This is sick! What did you do?" I'm close on him now. I'm standing toe to toe with the devil himself. I have to know what he did. I can't have peace without the truth. I must know.

"It was fair. Your BOY is alive. I left two children. The tarnished name of Grant shall live on in Teddy. You are just like your Mother." Dad steps away from me with a chuckle in his voice and a glint of humor in his eye. "Soft and caring. Now don't get me wrong, you mother, she can be ruthless but she was always soft to those she cared about...Dominic...you. And you gained all of her horrible traits. Soft, CRUSHABLE! Had you been more like me, you could have won the White House both times with your knees closed and your feet on the floor. But no, just like your mother, you put your feet in the air for power, for a WHITE man. But he was the wrong power to fall in bed with. You should have cared more about me and what I wanted. You know what I do. You know who carries the real power. Don't get amnesia, now."

I chuckle humorlessly. "So that's what this is about? This all goes back to you not liking Fitz? You killed a child!"

"No, it's back to you not listening to me! I told you to drop Edison. I had to total his car and break his bones for you to leave." Dad yelled.

"Dad..." I whimper. He has gone too far.

"You can't stomach what I do. You are weak in that sense. You chose to have a moral compass. Your mother and I, on the other hand, did not have a moral compass of any sort so only God knows where you got that from. Maybe you're really for Dominic. Or maybe Fitz gave it to you when he was giving you a lot of other things on the trail and beyond. But you...you are a piece of work just like your mother." He spat at me viciously.

"Dad, please-" I say weakly.

"You're mad I killed your boyfriend's kid. You're mad about Harrison's demise. Such a sad way to go. DNA testing had to be done to even positively identify him."

"What? How did you-" but he cuts me off, finishing his train of thought as if I never said a thing.

"You're mad your band of hooligans are broken. You're mad Quinn is my bitch now, rather she knows it or not. You're mad that I made you think your Mommy tried to kill me." Rowan laughs at me. "You're mad. You know, you're mother was mad at me too. She was happy I kept her alive for a while but when she found out that she wouldn't get any special treatment, she turned. She hated me. Said she would kill me. But now, she looks at me in disgust every single time I look down at her and she looks up to me from her hole. A special hole. The hole I kept Huck in. The hole I kept Jake in. The one Harrison was in before...well let's leave some things to the imagination." He smiles.

I glanced around the office I'm in. His office. An office I'm sure has seen many horrendous things. Hell even my office saw so much in the last four years. My life was never a squeaky clean place but it had gotten very dirty in the past two years. Most of which was my own doing. It was dirty just like this office was.

"You know, Fitz was devastated when he discovered you left. He roughed Cyrus up a little thinking he disappeared you. He lashed out at Mellie, even blamed her for your disappearance. Your gladiator band was no help, guess you didn't tell them anything. No one could find Harrison so they just assumed he left too." he taunting me. He is pushing me to the brink. But I can do this. He will not break me. Rowan pauses, taking in my disposition. I'm still here. I'm still standing up straight, confident in myself. I smirked at him. His eyes glossed over with disgust. He will try to hammer one last nail. He was predictable in some sense of the word.

"Fitz got over you leaving pretty quickly. He lashed out for a day or two then it was business as usually. One day, he just stopped. Got a call from his spiritual advisor and it stop. His pastor probably told him to focus on his wife or he would go to hell. Or maybe it's because he knew about you running off happily with Jake. He received a set of pictures. I don't know how anyone was close enough to you two to get pictures. Hmm." There was a pause but he started up again when he didn't get the reaction he wanted out of me.

"He knew that you leaving was a good thing. All the bad that he has encountered goes right back to you. He was existing, somewhat happily before you came along. He was losing the race but that was okay too. He didn't want it anyway. You came and blinked your big brown doe eyes and fluttered your eyelashes at him and he was hooked. You spoke fire and everyone fell in line. He feel in love with what you represented...not you. You made him care about things he didn't care about before. You made him care about the election only for him to find out you faked it. You caused marital discourse then you left time and time again. You cheated with him. His kids hated him because he cheated so basically you made his kids hate him. You caused Mellie to fall in another man's arms. You made him have another child with her. You made the most powerful man in this country hate him because he made my daughter care." Rowan spat.

"And it's back to this being about me and Fitz..." My phone chimes with Huck's number. I open the message and gasp. My lip quivers and tears immediately well up. I turn my back to my Dad. I can't allow him to see me like this. I clear my throat and text him back with a few simple words. I added a little strength to my back to create the illusion I'm strong. It is time I take back my life. It's time I had this fight with Rowan.

Rowan begin again after I turned back around. "I figured feeding information to Mellie and having her confront you both about the affair would fix it but to my surprise not only did you two not carry, she barely cared! What self-respecting woman doesn't care her husband is sleeping with one of their closest and trusted advisor is beyond me. I had to talk sense into a woman with one foot in the grave and other foot on a banana peel to off him! I set up the whole assassination with Verna! It was my idea. I talked her into thinking she was the mastermind. That's...that's when I started working overtime to make sure you two were apart. So his may sound like this is all about me keeping you and Fitz apart. This isn't about the assassination. This isn't about the spying on you by Jake. This isn't the spying I had Tom do in the White House. This isn't about me killing Jerry. This isn't about me killing Harrison after he figured it all out. No, this is about me saving the republic. This is about you getting on the plane. This is about me making the greater good happen come hell or high water. And like I told you, I am the hell and the high water."

I stared at the man in front of me. The man that no longer looked like my Dad. My Dad was long gone and what stood before me was a petty man. A man not fit to be associated with me. I looked out the window. The White House was in the distance. In that big pretty house was the man I love. A man I would do anything for. Look at all I'd done in his name already. And at that point, I realized there is no wrong or right with Rowan. No black or white with him or with the world. Decisions were made on which color gray you picked. You couldn't pick white. You couldn't pick black. Nothing and no one was completely clean or completely dirty. And now that I have realized that truth, I am ready. 'm ready to stand in my truth and everything consequence that would come from it. It had been building to this moment. The last five years of her life led up to this moment. It was all lessons on how to deal with this moment. She would hate herself in the morning. She would hate herself in about two minutes but she was making a choice. She was choosing for herself for once. She was doing this the right way.

"Mom and I are alike. So are you and I. I share some of the same characteristic that both of you have. But I'm different from my mother in the most important way..."

"And what is that Olivia?" Rowan asked. He was placating her. Humoring her as if she was a child.

She take in a deep breath, feeling the cleansing warmth of the sun on her face then turned to Rowan with a bang.

Rowan grasped his stomach, looking at the blood pouring from his wound. He staggered back again his desk limply. His eyes dart between her and the door. He is probably silently hoping someone comes to help him. But no one comes. No one will come. They all no better than to interrupt Command when they are handling business. He slipped to his knees, eyes shifting about the room looking for something, anything to help him. He looks at her, his daughter, his shooter in surprise but even she has a shocked look on her face. He laid back staring at the ceiling, gasping, praying she would soon have remorse and call for help. That she would hold his hand and cry over him as she had done in her office when he was stabbed. That she would whisper that she loved him and she was so sorry for being bad. That she would be his little girl again if he made it through. But she didn't. She stood there, looking down at him without a smile, without a frown, just looking.

"That's one of two of the difference." he jumps, probably because her voice was closer than before. "Mom never had the guts. She would have defended herself if you made the first move but you love her. She knew you would never kill her or at the very least try."

"Second difference?" Rowan gasped and sputtered.

"I'm going to sit here, right here next to you and watch you die. I will watch as the blood leak from your body and the light, no matter how dark and dim, leaves your eyes. I'm going to make sure no one shows up and help you. I'm going to make sure you die, then I will call Fitz and invite him over. I will beg him to piss on you then we will dump you somewhere. Maybe I'll let Huck do the honors. That's right after he gets back from dealing with Jake."

Rowan laid in a puddle of his own blood holding on. He refused to die. He held on just a little bit longer to spite her. His eyes still shifting toward the door.

"They won't come. Tom knows that the new Command is busy disposing of the former." I lean down right next to his ear and whispers, "I'm going to be sooo good at this job. I'm going to clean house first, starting with Tom. No room for traitors to the new First Couple. I only wish you could be around to see when I step in front of the nation as the First Lady. But the secret one in command! You told me not to be mediocre. You told me to aim higher. What's higher in this country but your job?" She smirks. "I'm choosing the right way. And just so happen, it happen to be the dirty way this time." Olivia finished.

She wouldn't stand in the sun tonight, tomorrow or even next week. But this one time, she didn't mind. She didn't need the sun when she had the Light. Fitz was her light. Darkness could only last so long. Ask Rowan.