Playing Scrabble with Deadpool is a nightmare. The strange duo were lounging on the floor, Peter lying comfortably on his side and Deadpool on his stomach, kicking his feet behind him and resting his head on his hands. The man insisted on spelling out every dirty word in the dictionary including some that didn't exist and was slowly sending Peter to the brink of his passivity.

They were just entering their second hour of the infuriating game with little to no news from the outside world, the only assurance that the people had not forgotten Peter was the occasional grunt or a snort from the dwindling crowd of policemen stationed outside the mall.

"Mitties… Mitties? Is that even...? MITTIES IS NOT A WORD!" Peter growled in frustration staring down at the clutterfuck of a board.

"IT IS!" Retorted Deadpool, "It's a noun, the abbreviation of Man Titties…" He insisted. "TOM HAS GIANT MAN TITTIES." He projected suddenly so the police below could hear him, in particular Tom, who fumed, grumbling something lowly to his next in command and twirling the bristles of his slug-like mustache.

Just minutes before Peter was sure he would reach insanity, the loud speaker crackled to life with a resounding hum.

"Deadpool! I am speaking to Deadpool!" A man's voice grunted over the megaphone.

"Is the hostage alive and uninjured?" The policeman's voice floated over to the duo on the floor of the mall, both of whom perked up at the new event.

Overjoyed at the new turn Deadpool grinned widely at Peter and spang up onto his feet grabbing a startled Peter and heaving him off the white tiled floor. Peter's feet slipped at the sudden movement but he more or less let Deadpool's grip on his elbow drag him towards the shattered window. Used to Deadpool's harmless antics by now, Peter's face sat on an almost irritated expression before a quick shove from Deadpool transformed his scowl into a shriek.

Holding tightly onto his arm, Deadpool had nudged Peter almost over the edge of the building where he teetered precariously on the sharp decline of the ledge. Stumbling to regain balance, Peter clung desperately onto the spandex around the man's arms for dear life.

"LOOK SEE" Deadpool exclaimed proudly pointing at Peter, seemingly unaware of Peter's terrified wobbling.

"Yes! Yes! Okay! Deadpool! Deadpool put the boy down for God's sake!" Rushed Steve frantically and the merc pulled Peter back towards him wrapping his arms around the boy's waist comfortably.

Painfully aware of their current position, Peter couldn't help but blush at the awkwardness of the gesture.

"Okay, we have agreed to your terms, your man is being flown here via helicopter which will be..." The man stopped, trying to choke out the words stuck in his throat, "...Gifted to you in good faith."

"AND SAY THE OTHER BIT!" Deadpool commanded leaning forward in anticipation

"No." Grunted the police officer.

"DO IT!" Deadpool yelled, pushing Peter so he stumbled towards the edge again.

The man holding the megaphone sighed.

"I'm a… ugh… princess poo poo dumb brain and I like to kiss my bosses ass… alot". He said quickly, sending a deadly glare at a young policewoman snickering on his left.

Deadpool squealed gleefully, nodding his head, and moved away from the window placing Peter back on his pillow and humming contentedly.

"...Be on the roof in 20." They called grudgingly after him.

-

Deadpool sat cross legged on the floor, bobbing his knee up and down in anticipation and sucking his teeth obnoxiously. He continued to make irritating noises until he suddenly cried, "IS IT TIME YET?".

"No!" Peter gritted his teeth, "its only been 10 seconds since the last time you asked!" He muttered casting a steely look at Deadpool's bobbing knee which had been invading his peripheral vision for the past 15 minutes and 31 seconds, he groaned turning his eyes back to the clock on the wall.

"UGGGHHH!" Wade groaned, flopping onto his back and staring up at the ceiling, his knee still moving up and down rapidly.

"Why does time go so slow? Can't the viewer read faster!?" He complained.

"What?" Peter asked confused, frowning when Deadpool ignored him.

Peter's frown deepened when his vision caught site of Deadpools twitchy leg once again, and his frustration peaked as the movement rapidly began engulfing his vision, his brain and even his ears with the constant bumping noise.

Frowning deeper and deeper, his staring contest with the limb was going unnoticed to the Merc until Peter exclaimed loudly a noise of exasperation, shooting his hand forward to pin the knee to the ground. His sigh of relief was cut short when he instantly realised what he had done. Hesitatingly lifting his line of sight, he met Deadpools curious expression.

"Whatcha doin there sport?" Wade chuckled suggestively.

Sucking in a breath, Peter yanked his hand away, scolding himself and refocusing his vision on the clock with a grimace; 8 minutes and 21 seconds.

The minutes ticked by and finally, miraculously, it was time.

Deadpool shot up with glee, rubbing his hands together and reaching for Peter.

Immediately Peter was back on the defensive, his heart rate picked up and the familiar feel of adrenaline rushed through him.

Without giving Peter much time to protest, Deadpool reached quickly for Peter and thew him over his shoulder, ignoring Peter's groans and flailing limbs at the uncomfortable position.

The man burst through the fire escape, running up the stairs two at a time. The echoing pounding of his feet on concrete masked Peter's yelp as his glasses fell and tumbled out of sight.

Deadpool stopped briefly to fling open the door to the roof before powering through into the crisp night air and dumping Peter roughly on the ground.

For a few moments Peter was frozen; deafened by the tremendous roar of a metal beast perched mere meters from his position. Peter scooted backwards and squinted up at the helicopter, it was hard to think with the bright lights, violent wind and the thunderous whirr commanding his senses.

To the right of Peter, Deadpool stood in a defensive stance, he shifted his weight, moving cautiously, curling his fingers in a firm grip around the cold metal of his D-Eagle. His muscles tensed and he shifted his gaze to scan his surroundings, ready for an ambush.

The helicopter blades slowed to a grinding halt and suddenly the night was painfully quiet. Peter could hear his shallow breaths as he sat, a humorous sight, with his hair sticking up in every direction and stunned expression.

Parker squinted up at the blurry scene in front of him. He leaned forward slightly when he saw the distinct outline of a broad man stepping heavily out of the helicopter; presumably the friend that Deadpool was after.

The man neared the duo and finally stepped into the light to reveal a grinning face, full of arrogance, striding confidently across the rooftop. His shaved head, stocky build and nasty scars made Peter nervous, sliding his gaze from the prisoner to Deadpool, mouth slightly open in anticipation.

The thick silence of the calm night was shattered instantly when the sharp sound of a bullet pierced it, followed by a short gasp and the heavy thud of the prisoner's body connecting with the ground.

Silence once again enveloped the rooftop.

"GOD DAMMIT", yelled Deadpool suddenly, "I just wanted to save a couple bucks and what do I get? A shoddy silencer". He gripped the attachment at the end of his gun and twisted it off angrily, chucking it down at the officers below and grumbling lowly to himself.

"There goes my stealthy get away… That was gonna be so cool", he continued complaining.

Another moment more and suddenly there was an uproar from the Police below. They couldn't see what was happening but they damn well heard the gunshot and were not happy being so uninformed. Another few moments and they were crashing through the door to the roof and piling out onto the concrete.

Grabbing Peter's arm, Deadpool yanked him to his feet and dragged him across the roof towards the copter, which was quickly starting up again and before long, it's blades were creating huge gusts of wind.

The police on the roof were shifting their grips on their guns, none were willing to take a shot while Peter was there.

Parker jolted as Deadpool practically skipped towards the chopper, stepping on the corpses throat in the process and frowning as the awaited crunch was drowned out by the copter.

Gritting his teeth, Peter chastised himself for letting his guard down around the merc. He dug his heels into the pavement and pulled back in an attempt to slow him down.

"STOP. Ugh. BEING. God! DIFFICULT!" Deadpool growled, commencing a sort of tug of war with Peter's arm.

With one final tug Peter was launched in front of the Merc, Peter attempted to duck under his arm but stopped, frozen when he felt the cold metal barrel of a gun against his temple.

AGAIN!? He thought, wondering when on earth this situation became normal to him.

Down on the ground, the police had no choice but to look on as Deadpool held the gun to the teens head and pulled him towards the whirlwind.

Shoving Parker into the helicopter, Deadpool followed quickly.

"GO!" He cheered to the pilot and the blades started to pick up their speed, rotating faster until they were barely visible.

"You- killed him?" Peter stuttered.

Deadpool let out a cold heartless laugh, " I'm a mercenary, I kill for money and lie for a living. what did you expect kid? Get used to it."

With that he gave the boy a sharp shove, and Peter, eyes wide, teetered on the edge of the helicopter before falling several feet onto the concrete of the roof. He heard the sound of a door slamming as Deadpool closed it quickly.

Dazed Peter only had moments to register the sound of metal hitting metal as bullets ricocheted off the copter. He threw his hands over his head and pressed himself as flat to the floor as possible, wincing as each bullet failed to penetrate the metal beast with a loud bang.

When the sounds finally stopped, he stayed still, lying on the roof and breathing heavily. He slowly rolled onto his back and peered into the sky where he could see the helicopter becoming smaller and smaller in the distance. There was complete and utter silence for a moment, everything seemed to stop and Peter just lay there staring at the dot in the sky.

The moment was fractured instantly when there was a sudden rush of people, running, shouting, grabbing at him and checking him over, but he just twisted to continue to watch the dot in the distance, to watch the man who made him a conspirator to murder. The dot was almost mesmerising, not flying, almost floating. When the dot had almost disappeared from view there was an enormous flash of light and an explosion that hurt his ears even from this distance. The dot had become a huge cloud of debris falling to the ground.

Dazed, Peter looked up for an explanation, almost frantically focussing his attention on a police chief he realised had been trying to talk to him.

"...yes and we rigged the copter with c4 to blow when over park land, he is gone now, you are safe".

The following events were a blur as he was shouted at, questioned, wrapped in blankets, inspected by doctors and eventually delivered into the arms of his hysterical aunt. Days, weeks then months passed and the events fell into the back of his mind especially outshined by a fortunate meeting with one radioactive spider.