WARNING: Graphic sex between males and sex toys.

Ulterior Motives

X

"But why not?" I ask. Kanda rolled his eyes. "Damn it, Moyashi. I don't need a reason. It's obvious!"

I sit up and turn slightly to glare at him. "We've been together for over a year. What's wrong with broadening our horizons?"

"Everything!"

"How is the use of sex toys any worse than putting our penises in each other's asses?"

Kanda glared at me. "It just is."

"It would be completely different if you'd used them before. Neither of us have any experience."

"We had no experience in sex period until a year ago either."

"You enjoyed it enough last night," I counter. "I didn't hear any complaints; just moans."

"Would you shut up?!" Kanda snapped.

I stand from the bed and tug on my underwear and pants.

"Where are you going?" Kanda asked with his arms behind his head.

"Breakfast. Two rounds of sex with an emotionless bastard make me hungry, especially when it's my ass getting nailed," I mutter as I walk into the bathroom. I brush my teeth and comb my hair, though it still looks like an unfinished bird's nest. When I turn around to go and put on a shirt, I'm met with a muscled chest and long hair. I start, "Kanda―"

I'm cut off by Kanda's arms wrapping around me. Frustrated, I try to wiggle away. "Stop! I'm mad at you!"

"If you really didn't like this, you could activate Crown Clown," he said. After a moment, I slip my arms around his neck and look into his cobalt eyes. "You really are a bastard. You know that, right?"

Kanda smirked. "Yes. I also know you love bastards quite a bit."

"No, just you. That's the problem," I mutter. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and rests his chin on my head. "I don't think you mind."

I frown. "I mind when you emphasis my shortness."

"Only in one category."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Perhaps."

"Why are you trying to get on my good side?"

"You're no fun when you're mad."

"Since when do you care about fun?"

"I like you because you're fun."

"That's the only reason?"

"No, you also have a penis, which I think contributes to it."

"You just admitted you're gay."

"When have I ever denied it?"

"Touché."

I pull away slightly. "Don't change the topic. Why are you being nice?"

He pauses. "Don't you have a laptop?"

"Yes." I liked where this was going.

"Aren't there websites for those sorts of things?"

"Yes."

"And if I get a boner during that little…expedition, will you take care of it?"

"Yes."

"Then come on."

"Yes!" I say in victory.

Kanda sits on the bed, his underwear on after my insistence. I plop down next to him and open my laptop. As I type in the website, Kanda says, "We're just looking right now, okay?"

I nod. "Okay!"

"You're far too happy," he says.

I forget about the laptop and pin him down. "I'm happy because you're doing something that you never would have considered unless I'd pushed and pushed."

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, and if I hadn't agreed, I'd be masturbating for the next three months."

"Do you think about me?" I ask.

"No, I think about Luke Bryan in skinny jeans."

I frown, and he quickly says, "I'm joking. Yes, I think about you."

"Anything in particular?"

I raise an eyebrow as he blushes, something very unusual. I sit on his stomach and wait for him to continue. After a moment of silence, I ask, "What else do you think about?"

"Nothing."

"Kanda, tell me," I insist. "Maybe it could help with picking something."

He looks away and mumbles something. I ask, "Huh?"

"Cat costume," he says more loudly.

I smirk and lean down to his ear. After I nibble on his earlobe, I purr, "I didn't know you had that kind of fetish."

"This is why you'll be taking care of my boner."

I pull away and sit beside him again. "I don't mind. I happen to like taking care of you."

I take the laptop and set it on my lap. As I scroll through some of the options, I ask, "Do you want to start in the costumes?"

He rolls his eyes and nods.

XXX

I glance at myself in the mirror. It had been three weeks since Kanda's and my little…adventure. A certain samurai liked a few things and agreed to get some of them. He just didn't know about all of them and that they came in this morning.

I open the door and press my front against the doorframe. "Kanda, the toys came in."

Kanda sat on the bed, book in hand, but when he looked at me, his mouth dropped open. I love it.

"What do you think?" I ask. I stick out my butt, the fluffy cat tail butt plug swaying because my leather short shorts had a convenient hole in the back. I flick the bell on my collar with a gloved hand. "I think it looks pretty good on me."

Kanda finally shut his mouth, closed his eyes, and breathed, "It does."

I jump on him and toss the book to the side. "I can tell."

To emphasis my point, I grind my rear onto his crotch, where he was already growing hard.

"You didn't tell me about a cat costume," he groans as he grabs my hips to push me down harder.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," I purr. "But now Kitty wants to play!"

Kanda pulls me down and crashes our lips together. His tongue slides across my bottom lip, to which I eagerly open my mouth. Our tongues fight for dominance while Kanda's hands caress my back and rear. I grind my hips on his, and we both moan. Kanda begins to kiss my jaw, but I pull away. He gives me a confused look, and I say, "I'm pleasuring you tonight."

Before Kanda could protest, I add, "But you're welcome to hold me while I do it."

"I don't hold you!" he growled. I nod and sarcastically say, "Right. I totally believe you."

Despite what I thought when Kanda and I decided to go all the way, Kanda doesn't think of sex as physical. I had assumed he liked the idea of being rough and using each other's bodies for pleasure, but he changes completely in bed. Not that he isn't rough sometimes or dislikes a bit of dirty talk. He does. Really does. But whether he realizes it or not, he likes touching me in nonsexual ways. When we make out, he runs his hand under my shirt and rubs my back instead of pinching my nipples. When we're intimate, he likes kissing as foreplay instead of blowjobs. And he has no problem with giving me control.

As long as he can touch me in some way.

But his regenerative abilities get in the way a lot. We can't prepare him because he heals too quickly, so I nearly always bottom. Not because he complains. No, he's the one who wants to bottom, but I won't let him since the idea of inflicting unnecessary pain on anyone disgusts me. He's not a masochist either, so bottoming only causes him pain, though it eventually dulls, as he has said.

So when he wraps his legs around my waist, I stop kissing his neck and glare at him. "No."

He smirks. "Oh, yes, you will."

"What makes you think that?"

Kanda flicks the bell on my collar. "I agreed on the toys."

I curse, "Damn you! Don't you dare try to blackmail me!"

"I'm just saying," he said, "it would be very rude for you to deny me one request after I let you buy all those things when I wasn't completely sure about it."

"But―!"

"Allen."

I whine quietly and look away from his demanding gaze. He continues, "Remember how much I like to tease you, even though you hate it?"

"Yeah," I mutter.

"So I have to go through that for months."

"I'll give you a blowjob?" I offer.

"No."

"Two rounds?"

"No."

"Slave for a day?"

"No."

"Slave for a week?"

"No."

"No teasing you for a week?"

Kanda shakes his head and grinds his hips against mine, to which I half-moan, half-whimper. After he wraps his arms around my neck, he pulls me down and whispers in my ear, "I don't want compromises. I want you inside me."

I shudder as he licks the shell of my ear and continues, "I want you to hit my sweet spot. I want to feel you cum inside my body. Don't you want that, too? Don't you want to feel my walls tighten around you? Don't you want to see me jerk and spasm?"

"Yes," I whimper. When he orgasms after receiving, Kanda always looks like he's having a seizure. At first, it scared both of us, but after we realized it wasn't health-related, it became the most erotic sight I'd ever seen. Damn him!

"Then why are you objecting?" he asked and sucked on the tender flesh just under my jaw. I let out a ragged breath, but I don't tell him to stop. He laps at the red skin. "Or maybe…you think my body's not good enough."

"I never said that, Kanda!" I say. "I just don't want to hurt you!"

He pulls away and stares into my eyes with that hurt, almost pouting look that only he can make and completely melt me. "You say you don't want to hurt me, but what about my feelings? What do you think goes through my mind when you repeatedly won't let me be submissive? 'I'm not good enough for him'. 'He probably thinks I'm bad at bottoming'. 'Maybe he wants his mind fuzzy so he doesn't have to look at me, so does that mean I'm ugly?'"

"Manipulative bastard, you're just trying to guilt me," I mutter, but we both know it's working.

"But you didn't say I was wrong."

"That's because you know I would never think of you like that!" I say. This time, Kanda releases me and crawls away to lie onto his side. I feel my member twitch inside my short shorts, in desperate need of attention. I ask, "So you're going to leave us both with boners?"

He moves his leg to cover the bulge in his pants. "Correction, you with a boner."

"Stop your pouting! You know I hate it when you act like this!" I say.

"You're the one who won't give in," he muttered. With a heavy sigh, I move to him and trail my hand between his legs, rubbing his clothed erection. He groans, and I know he struggled not to press into the touch. I kiss his neck. "Okay, I…I'll top tonight."

As soon as the words pass through my lips, Kanda rolled over and began to grind against me again. I pull away long enough to raise him into a sitting position and sit in his lap before I add to the movement. I tug his shirt over his head and attack his neck, to which he tilts his head back to give me better access and caresses my waist. We both knew there wouldn't be much foreplay. While I don't cum super quickly, I do get to that point as easily as a normal person. However, Kanda is always a different story. He usually takes several minutes longer than I do when topping, which doesn't bother me. Bottoming though? I cum twice before he does. So I have to save my energy.

Lips locked with Kanda's, I remove my leather gloves and shorts with little difficulty, but when I reach for the butt plug, my partner's hand covers mine and brings it to his belt buckle. He breaks away long enough to breathe and murmur, "Keep the tail."

I smirk and begin to unbuckle his pants. It always takes longer to get Kanda out of his clothes because he refuses to let my lips leave his. When I turn and try to remove his jeans, he pulls me back with a hand on the back of my head. His hands stroke my thighs while I bend back to get his pants off. After much effort, I finally break away from the samurai and discard his jeans and underwear to the floor.

By the time I return to Kanda, he already held the bottle of oil we keep under the bed in his hand. As I smear the lubricant over my member, Kanda sat beside me and kissed my neck. Once I knew lubrication wouldn't be an issue, I crawl closer to Kanda, who lies back on the pillows and spreads his legs, knees bent. I look over his body. The position emanated trust, as did his eyes, and said eyes gazed hungrily at me. I never could have imagined the day Kanda lied on the bed, legs open, and asked for me to screw him. At least, until now.

I set the oil on the dresser and got between my partner's legs. After a moment of hesitation, I run my hand over Kanda's hip and ask, "Do you want me to prepare you? I mean, it might help a little."

"No," he said and pulled me down to stare into my eyes, our noses only inches apart. "You know it doesn't help."

"But―"

"I want you inside me. Now," he ordered.

As a way to stall and build some form of courage, I suck on his neck and ask, "Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why do you want to receive so badly?" I repeat. Kanda stays silent for a minute, but eventually, he answers, "Variety for one thing. But mostly, it's because I find it extremely intimate."

"Isn't sex intimate to begin with?" I ask, my voice slightly muffled by his skin.

"It is. The thing is that my body screwed with my sex life, plus the fact that I don't trust people very easily. When someone becomes so close that I let them enter my body like that, which is even rarer because of the pain, it should be considered a symbol of utmost love, trust, and want."

I press my lips to his gently and pull out his hair tie. As I slipped my tongue into his mouth, I run my fingers through his silky tresses and use my other hand to rub his nipple. He may not be as sensitive as I am, but he still arches into the touch.

When we break apart, I smile and say, "I know you're going to say I took that statement the wrong way, but I love you, too."

Kanda replies by not replying, and I kiss his cheek. "What do you want me to do to ease your pain?"

Again, he doesn't reply, but instead, he wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me down so our chests and stomachs touched. This is a bad time for me to be shorter, I guess, but then again, Kanda's height is mostly in his legs.

I line up with Kanda's entrance and begin to push in slowly. My partner's grip on me tightened while I placed soft kisses on his jaw and neck and ran my fingers through his hair, my other hand on his hip. It took everything in me to not begin thrusting as soon as the head of my manhood was in him. That probably was what scared me most, that I might cause him more pain. As I continued, I breathe into Kanda's neck, "You're going to hate me for saying this, but you're so tight."

His nails dug into my ribs harshly, due to pain or irritation, possibly both, and my hips jerk from the pain. Kanda lets out what sounded like a sharp intake of breath. I wince, but don't mention it. He would just say it didn't happen. As I kiss his jaw, I taste salt. I wanted to comfort him, to kiss the tears from his eyes and just stare into his eyes because they are so beautiful. But something that totally is like Kanda: he doesn't want me to look at him when he's like this.

I was halfway in…and I get thicker around my base. The heat around me only got more intense, but I tried not to think about it. Kanda was crushing me against him, and I could feel his chest shudder. Finally, I look at him. He must have seen me move, because he turned his head quickly, his hair covering his face. When I brush the locks aside, his eyes are closed, and beads of tears ran down his cheek. Blood stained his lips from his teeth, which still assaulted the flesh, and his hairline was darkened with sweat. I stop moving immediately.

Kanda opened his eyes, large gleams in the cobalt blue, and he glared. "Why'd you stop?"

"I-I can't…you're in so much pain…and…" I stumble over my words from worry and the fact that Kanda was still seriously tight and hot. I could almost see flames in his eyes as he growled in a somewhat choked voice, "Damn it, Moyashi, I swear if you don't keep going, I'm going to grab your hips and take it all at once."

My eyes widened with fear, but Kanda held my gaze as he continued, "I've been waiting for months to get you to finally be dominant. You aren't taking that away from me."

I thought this was about love? I asked mentally, but I didn't say it. Now that I thought about it, it probably was a closeness thing, but I still thought it was ridiculous for him to put himself through so much pain just for the sake of being close to me.

As I push in just a little more, I feel something run down my leg. Confused, I reach back and touch it. I bite my lip at the blood, but I don't stop for the sake of Kanda hurting himself. However, touching the blood had caused me to pull away from Kanda slightly, and my partner was not happy with it. He pulled me back down and crashed our lips together. I let him do whatever with me as I stroke his hair. Though he would probably deny it, he finds me touching his hair soothing. I know it. Actually, his hair is probably one of the most sensitive parts of his body. It took nearly two months after the first time we had sex for him to let me take it out of its ponytail and play with it. I noticed how much he loved it when I touched it from the beginning, but he still hasn't let me wash it. Another intimate thing, I suppose.

When our hips finally touch, Kanda and I both let out a ragged breath. I run a hand up and down his side while the other stayed in his hair. I open my mouth, but Kanda cuts me off, "Don't you dare ask if I'm okay."

"And if I do?" I ask. He stares at me, and I suddenly feel his walls tighten around my member. I gasp with wide eyes. "Damn it, Kanda, don't do that!"

"You asked," he muttered. "Moronic pain in the ass."

Now I stare at him. "You're the one who turned me into the pain in your ass. Literally."

He rolled his eyes, though I could tell he struggled to do it. While he hid it rather well, he was panting, and his fingernails kept pushing into my back before they lightened again. We both knew that by the time this was over, my back would look like a tiger had attacked it. No, just Kanda and his determination.

I brush his bangs to the side so I could see his eyes clearly and I kiss the tear trying to slide down his cheek. "I've said it before and I'll say it again: you don't have to act like you aren't in pain around me."

"Moron, it doesn't hurt that badly," he muttered. I nod. "I know. When I lost my arm, it felt like an orgasm."

I expected a "shut up, Moyashi". Instead, Kanda leaned into my hand that was in his hair, almost like a cat would. Sometimes, I wonder if Komui dropped some sort of feline-personality potion on Kanda, but it was cute nonetheless. Granted, he's one of the cats that attack everyone who comes close to him, no matter who they are, but every mean cat has one person they bond to.

After a minute, Kanda exhales and says, "Move."

"Are you sure? Don't push yourself," I say. He simply wraps his legs around my waist, and I can't imagine that it didn't cause him pain due to his closed eyes and the fact that I could feel liquid all over him, probably his blood.

"If you don't hurry up, we're both going to go soft," he mutters.

"Okay, okay."

As I pull out just a little, I make sure my skin still touches Kanda's. When I thrust back in, pain was written all over Kanda's face, but I knew he didn't want me to stop. He was the "do it all at once and get it over with" kind of person.

I feel his nails rake down my back and I tilt my head back, eyes closed in pleasure. His walls were so tight that I had trouble moving, but it was so worth it.

XXX

I fight back my tears and groans of pain as Allen thrusts into me. My regenerative abilities kept trying to heal me while he had been entering me, and I ripped multiple times over. It still hurt. It hurt a lot, but I had felt far worse. In the long run, I just wanted to be close to Allen. He may think it's stupid, but I don't.

Damn, when did I become such a girl?

Suddenly, pleasure shoots through my spine, and my chest lurches momentarily. Allen's lips curve up against my neck. The pain still lingered, but every time my partner hit that spot, the pleasure overpowered it. My legs' grip on Allen tightened, and my nails dug into his back.

Allen continued to pound into me, reaching deeper inside me with each thrust, and I let my head tilt back in pleasure. Since we were so close together, Allen's stomach rubbed against my member, but he knew not to touch it without permission. I'd rather his hands be in my hair or on my hips, back, or chest, and he knows that.

Allen's thrusts began to get harder and out of rhythm. He panted in my ear, "What…what do…do you…want…?"

Oh, how I love it when he can't form sentences.

Soon after, I felt a rush of heat inside of me, and Allen collapsed, panting on top of me.

"You're heavy," I mutter.

"Too…bad…" he replied. After a moment, I say, "To answer your question, you can do whatever you want."

Since he couldn't pull out, he managed to stay inside me while he sat back, one hand wrapped around my member. The other kneaded one of my nipples. I watch his eyes trail over my body and I smirk in satisfaction. I could feel his new erection swell inside of me.

In a moment, Allen pressed his body against mine again and thrust. I close my eyes and focus on the pleasure, not the pain. It still hurt.

One of my partner's hands stroked my hip and the other tangled in my hair, much to my pleasure. He slammed into me, the bed rocking. Each time, I could feel him get deeper, feel him hit my prostate. My stomach sucked in involuntarily, and my chest kept trying to move forward against my will, like someone had paddles electrocuting my heart. Allen's lips crashed with mine as his rhythm faltered again. I felt the coil in my stomach tighten until everything fell apart.

XXX

As Kanda's walls tightened, my orgasm was milked out of me. When his legs do the same, I gasp in pain and know there will be bruises on my hips. The rest of my partner's body did what looked like jerky sit-ups, his head tilted back in pleasure. Every time his back nearly touched the mattress, an invisible rope tugged him back up while his back did an inverted arch. Kanda's cum spurted from his member and landed in dribbles over his stomach.

I pull out of him, exhausted beyond repair. Kanda didn't seem to care and fell asleep. While his breathing evened out, I survey the damage I'd left. Blood stained the sheets under Kanda, his thighs matching. Even in his sleep, his legs shook slightly. My limp member was red from my partner's blood.

A tear slipped down my cheek as I yanked the butt plug from my rear and tossed it to the floor. I press myself to Kanda's side and rest my head on his shoulder, an arm over his cum-covered stomach.

XXX

The next morning, I feel sticky. I move Allen off of me before I stand and go to the bathroom. Geez, I wish I had been awake long enough to make sure he didn't cuddle with me, but too late now.

The moment I pull the curtain of the shower closed, I hear the door open. I say, "You're up early."

"How would you know?" Allen asked. A white-haired head appeared around the curtain, followed by a pale body with red stains. I step away from the water so he could wash off. "Baka Moyashi, we stay in the same room more than half the time. I think I've learned your sleep patterns by now."

Allen hisses and turns down the water temperature. "Whatever. You keep the water too hot."

"You keep the water too cold."

Silence fell over the room other than the sound of the water. When we switch places again, Allen keeps his back to me and stares at the tile wall while I watch him. After a moment, I say, "You're quiet."

"According to you, I'm not a morning person anyways," he muttered. I say, "You also aren't a silent person."

"I'm just not in a talkative mood."

"Moyashi―"

"It's Allen, BaKanda!" he snapped. I open my mouth, but Allen turns and smiles. "Sorry, I'm just a little grumpy in the mornings, that's all."

I switch our positions. When my hand lingered on his lower back, he flinched. "Please, don't touch me."

I pull away and cross my arms while he managed to rinse his hair facing the showerhead. I say, "Tell me what's wrong with you."

"Nothing's wrong."

"Do not lie to me," I growl. With the shampoo now down the drain, Allen stood under the water with his hands placed on the opposing sides of his waist. His shoulders shudder. "You went on and on about bottoming just because you wanted to show your love. But what about my feelings?"

"It felt good, didn't it?" I deadpan. He shakes his head. "That's the part I hate. I got off on hurting you. It's sick."

"It's not a big deal."

"Yes, it is!" he shouts. Allen whips around and glares at me, tears in his eyes as he continued angrily, "I hate that hurt you! I hate that when I felt you trying to heal, I only got harder! I hate that I saw you cry and kept going! And I hate that my penis thought for me when I knew you were in so much pain!"

Allen covers his face with his hands and sinks into the tub. "You stupid bastard! You're selfish and cruel…and…and…I hate you!"

"Are you on your period or something?" I ask as I look down at him.

"Stop being such an ass."

"You seem to love this ass quite a bit. You've put up with it for a year and three months."

As I settle beside him, he looks at me, eyes red and puffy. "You…you keep up with it?"

"Does that surprise you?" I ask. He nods. "Yeah, kind of."

"So it appears the ass loves you just as much."

His smile disappears just as quickly as it came. "I'm still mad."

"Are you mad at me or yourself?"

"Both," he mutters. I lightly trace the bruises on his waist from my legs, and he doesn't stop me. I ask, "I'm curious; do you hate me or love me?"

After a moment, Allen replied, "I hate that I love you."

"Has anyone ever told you that you have mood swings frequently?"

"No one but you."

I slip an arm around his waist and kiss the juncture of his jaw and neck with a smirk. "Good. That's means I'm the only one you've been this close to."

"I already told you that you were my first."

"That wasn't my point, but okay."

Allen pushed me so I was lying in the tub before he lied down half beside me, half on top of me. I open my mouth to object, but he interrupts, "If you tell me to get off, I'm going to slap you."

"What happened to not wanting to hurt me?"

"Shut up."

His hand trails over my hip as he asks, "Are you still hurt?"

"The pain was gone before I fell asleep," I say. At least his initial anger is gone.

Allen nods and rests his head on my shoulder. I say, "I still need to wash my hair."

He moves so I could stand, and I add, "But I'm still tired. You have to make up for that."

"R-really?!" he squeaks, eyes sparkling. I don't reply and begin to wet my hair. Allen stands.

"You are such a kid," I mutter as he shampoos my hair. He replies, "I don't care. You know I love your hair."

A/N: So? What do you think? Reviews and constructive criticism are encouraged!