A/N: REVIEEEEEEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION!

Seriously, though! It helps to know what you all think!

I PRESENT TO YOU ALL A MOST SPEEDY UPDATE!

Also, there's a God of War poll up on my profile now, give 'er a look!

Does anyone else REALLY hate Odin right now? I know I do. Geez, he's even worse than Zeus at this point. At least Zeus-SPOILERS-didn't actively go around preventing people from reaching the afterlife due to a petty grudge. In an unrelated note, I've discovered Hellblade: Setuna's Sacrifice. Ohohohohoho has it given me ideas!

(EDIT: Aaaaaaaaaand now I've conquered Sigrun~!)

For the faaaaaaaaans~!

Onward!

And remember, the Evils of the box have yet to be released. But Ares and Hades have always been prideful bastards. So has Helios and frankly they don't strike me as the sort to let an insult slide. Not that any of the other gods are saints mind you, but without the Evils infecting/exacerbating their flaws, they can actually be somewhat decent when they want to.

That aside, Naruto can be quite likable when he's true to himself. True or not, he still has anger.

To clarify, Son of Ares has one take on the Norse gods, and this, another.

This'll take a more methodical approach to things...

...and a far deadlier one.

Now onward!

"Why?! Why do you even care?! You could've just walked away!"

"Yes. I could have. But you talk too much."

~?

Fallout

A tiny ripple creates large waves.

In hindsight, I really wasn't to blame for it. What? Don't give me that look! I wasn't TRYING to woo her! It just...happened. I told you; sometimes I'm just too kind for my own good. Some might say I'd cut off my own arm if it meant helping someone. That...would not be a stretch. Call it a disease. An affliction. Whatever the case, I'm wholly beyond curing. Worse, I'm not sure I want to be cured. If the alternative means delighting in death and drowning in war, then I'll happily remain a fool till the end of my days.

Better that than losing my soul.

But again, that curse of kindness came back to bite me in unexpected ways. Persephone and Kratos were each a prime example of this. By offering that Spartan the potential to choose his outcome, I added a new thread to the loom. Altered his destiny. By swaying the Goddess of the Underworld from her fated path of destruction, I unknowingly changed her fate as well. I like to think I gave two tortured souls the chance to find peace. Or perhaps I damned them to an detestable destiny regardless. I'm not so naive as to believe that everyone can be happy, but even so I wanted to try.

Destiny.

Fate.

Life.

One could claim that they don't exist, but I can attest that they most certain do. The Sisters Three, those undeniable beings who control the very outcome of life itself...they don't take kindly to meddling. But how was I to know? I swore no oaths to them. I owed them no loyalty. I certainly wasn't a god, but neither was I mortal. Mother claimed I was something in between and as such I had nothing to fear from them, yet a part of me always regarded the Sisters of Fate with caution. Like the Furies, they served no side but their own. Even Zeus himself was wary of them.

Little did I know that the latter had taken notice of me.

Worse, I'd drawn the ire of those infinitely stronger than them.

In my foolish ignorance I thought I was safe and secure in Olympus.

But my innocent actions that day would have far-reaching consequences...

(...Scene Break...)

The Hyperion Gate rippled like water.

Stepping through its aqua depths, the Son of the Gods stumbled backwards like a drunkard, arms pinwheeling for purchase and finding none. For a fleeting instant he glimpsed Persephone's visage gazing back at him deep within in its cerulean depths; her arm still extended from the half-hearted shove that had carried him out of her realm. A wry smile lingered on her sorrowful visage and as he looked on, she raised a lone finger to her lips for silence. Her wistful expression stuck with Naruto, haunting him as the gate turned transparent once more.

He lingered there for a moment, blinking in quiet consternation.

A small, disbelieving smile plucked at his mouth.

"I...will never understand women."

With nothing left to be gained by staring at the now-silent gate, Naruto turned away from the still portal to face the halls of Olympus.

No finer architecture could've been built by mortal hands.

Even after all these years, the sight of his home still amazed him. Presently he found himself in a plaza of sorts, a branching corridor set upon a central dais leading towards any number of divergent paths. Past the main chamber, an eastern hall lead towards Zeus's arena, while another path pivoted toward Aphrodite's inner sanctum. Beyond that one could see Hera's gardens, rivers from which the finest of wine flowed. These he forsook with a shudder, choosing the main causeway rather than risk a confrontation with that fickle woman.

If there was one individual he genuinely loathed, it was the wife of Zeus.

Time and time again he'd seen her inflict madness and pain upon others and for what? Her petty grievances. Time and time again she'd tried to smite Zeus's children, leaving him to tend to the fallout. In some cases he'd upended her schemes entirely, earning her unassailable hatred. However, that same hatred had earned him an unshakable ally in Hercules. Thus he considered it a fair trade. Should they ever come to blows, he had no doubt the Son of Zeus would happily snap his stepmothers neck. Hmm.

That was almost a pleasant thought-

"You meddling whelp!"

Scarce had he turned the corner than a towering arm locked around his neck and levered him into a wall. His back greeted an unfortunate pillar and splintered it, but Naruto had no time for concern. Armored hands sought his throat and it took all his strength merely to hold them at bay. Gritting his teeth until he felt something crack, the young man summoned and drove his knee into his foe's torso. An annoyed grunt greeted him and finally he got the upper hand, wresting his aggressor back half a step. Rather than relent his foe struck him full on across the face with a rough fist, sending him spinning to the floor. A booted foot descended to stomp at his skull and once more Naurto found himself on the defense, tucking and rolling out of the way.

"Hold still, insect!" A gravelly voice greeted him.

When the next assault came, he was a hair too slow.

A wordless roar filled his ears and quiet suddenly he found himself overpowered. The low hiss of a blade arcing forward was his only warning. With a mournful howl the Nemesis Whip rose in his hands, but only succeeded in deflecting the blade from his vital areas. Howling agony blazed to life in his side as steel split flesh. A sickly red aura flickered into existence around the wound immediately, mending his injury even as he flung himself out of the blade's retaliatory path. In his hands the whip crackled to life and bit into his assailant's shoulder as he tumbled past.

An angry oath greeted his revenge.

Despite his near brush with death, a disbelieving laugh burst out of the blond when he rose unsteadily to his feet. Well. That revealed his attacker, then. He knew the God of War by his voice well enough, if not his inventive use of curses. If that hadn't been enough, his ugly mug gave him away; a face pale as ash cloaked in deep crimson armor loomed before him, accompanied by the putrid stink of sulfur and the acrid smell of the battlefield. For all his size, he was still alarmingly agile, as he'd just now proven.

"Hello, Ares."

The towering deity nearly cuffed him on the jaw for his insolence.

"How dare you interfere in my plans!" he roared. "That mortal was mine! MINE do you hear me?! Your blundering ruined everything!"

Naruto turned his head and spat blood.

"He deserved a choice."

"Choice? CHOICE?!" That pale face darkened to an alarming shade of puce as he raised his blade, "I ought to strange you-!"

"Is there a problem, my son?"

There were few aspects capable of frightening the God of War; yet the owner of that voice was one of them. A resonating timber that quite literally, put the fear of god into him. True terror, deep and mind-numbing, so much so that Ares momentarily forgot himself. That iron vice on his throat fell slack all at once and with a grunt, the young man wrested himself free. Ares made no move to fight him on this-for his blazing gaze lay with another.

"No, father." he spat the word as though it were a curse. "We were simply discussing a mortal who sought my favor."

If Artemis and Athena were "Mother" and Poseidon "Uncle" then Zeus could only be called "Grandfather." It was a strange way to rationalize his unique relationship with the King of the Gods, but for Naruto, there could be no other designation. With his wrinkled visage, flowing white hair and pale eyes, he appeared to be little more than a harmless old man clad in a white robe. A doting parent to both his children and grandchildren alike in his old age. Nothing could be further from the truth. The Father of the Gods was perhaps the most singularly powerful being in all of existence. Few had seen his true strength, and fewer still lived to tell tale of it.

Only a fool angered him.

None knew this more than Ares.

"Ah, you speak of Kratos." The Ruler of Olympus nodded in agreement as he approached with a languid stride, "I've heard tell of him. I believe he just claimed a decisive victory over a horde of barbarians with nothing save his own wit and a motley band of men. A fine bit of cunning, that. I daresay he doesn't require your aid."

Ares seethed, dying to protest, yet knowing the battle was lost.

Even so, he refused to concede this war of words without a fight.

Smoldering eyes cut to Naruto, still recovering from his wounds. The Son of the Gods was under no illusion; he knew if Zeus weren't present, Ares wouldn't hesitate to wring his neck. Even with his Father nearby the God of War looked all of a moment from doing just that.

"The boy oversteps his bounds. He should be punished."

A stray spark arced through Zeus's beard.

"Does he now?" the Father of the Gods tilted his head with a faux smile. "I know of no such transgressions. Do you, my boy?"

Naruto restrained a small smile.

"No. None at all."

"Then there is nothing more to speak of."

The God of War knew he had been outmatched; one could see it in the slow tightening of his eyes, the clenching of his jaw. His armor seemed to twist and writhe upon his back, as though something ghastly were just waiting to be burst forth from within. Oh, how he ached to leap forward and tear the boy to bits for interfering, yet self-preservation held him back from such reckless behavior. No. There would be other opportunities. The boy had allies here in Olympus to be sure, but without them he was vulnerable. Sooner or later, he would slip and when he did...he would pay. Olympus would be his.

Everything would be his.

In the end, Ares kept his own counsel and retreated with a low growl.

"Don't think you've won, boy." he avowed. "This isn't over."

Naruto rose slowly as the seething deity departed, massaging his now-aching jaw. Even then he daren't take his eyes off the God of War or his back. Only once Ares's hulking form had truly receded into the distance and vanished from sight did he dare give voice to his own teeming thoughts.

"Jeez, what the hell is his problem with me?"

Zeus favored him with a small smile.

"You've upset his plans, my boy."

"Well, I know that," he groused, risking a stretch as his wounds continued to mend. "I just don't see why he's so angry about it. We're gods. Shouldn't we use our powers to help people?"

Those white eyes regarded him with wry amusement.

Abruptly, he turned away.

"Walk with me."

Somewhat baffled by this abrupt turn of events the Son of the Gods hastened after Zeus into the hallowed halls of Olympus. None emerged to challenge them, for which he found himself grateful. His temper had nearly slipped its leash against Ares once already; the last thing he desired was a confrontation with Hades or worse, a petulant Hera. He found himself grateful for the distraction. He'd seldom assisted Zeus in his duties before now and part of him wondered what task the lord of the gods might have for him.

"You truly reflect your upbringing." his grandfather remarked as they walked. "Your mothers did well in teaching you."

Naruto felt himself color beneath the unexpected praise, whiskered cheeks burning hotly.

"Yeah," he admitted, "I guess I was raised right. I'm grateful, ya know."

"Still, you play a dangerous game, my son." there was no reproach to be had in that fatherly voice, only a simple statement. "Take care you don't outplay yourself."

Naruto huffed, puffing out his cheeks in quiet annoyance at the reminder.

"Hey! Hades and Ares are the ones picking fights here, not me."

"Hmm." the Father of the Gods mused thumbing his beard, "Then perhaps it is time someone humbled the two of them."

That...that was dangerous talk.

"Your words, not mine."

Deep, resonating laughter answered him.

"Ha! So they are!"

Belatedly, he realized the King of the Gods had led him into something a of a large chamber. No, this went beyond large.

To call it massive would've been a poor choice of words.

"Why are we here?"

Zeus didn't answer immediately.

Clouded eyes regarded the assembled statues, edifices to the gods, one and all. Naruto followed his gaze and momentarily found himself at a loss. They were innumerable. Legion. More than he could ever hope to count. There he saw Athena, and above her Apollo. Eos. Hermes. Demeter. Hestia. Poseidon and of course, Zeus...he could scarcely name them all, much less remember each by name. This place felt...different. Sacred. Untouched. Divine, even.

Should he really be here?

"It was on this very day that we found you, all those years ago." Zeus rumbled, almost softly to himself. "You've come far since then."

Naruto blinked, momentarily at a loss.

"Has it really been that long?"

"Indeed." Once more, Zeusu's gaze fell upon him. "As a reward for your long service, I shall grant you one wish. Ask anything you wish of me."

All thought ground to halt.

"I...can't. I mean," he flung up his hands when Zeus's expression turned puzzled, "I can't think of anything to ask for! I already have everything I could ever want; how could I possibly ask for more?" In that, he spoke the truth. What more could he possible thing to ask for? A thought ocurred to him. "Ah, wait!"

"This might sound strange...but Persephone...could you release her? From the Underworld? From Hades?"

In hindsight, he really should've worded that better.

"A strange request." Was that a knowing gleam in his gaze just then? "Easily within my power, of course. Why ask such a thing?"

...she deserves that much, doesn't she?"

Oh. Oh, dear. Naruto definitely knew that look...

"Hmm. You have been visiting her for quite some time, haven't you? I suppose its to be expected."

"Now wait a second, how in Hades did you-

A peal of laughter startled him.

"You truly are inconceivable, my boy! I gave you a wish, and rather than use it to better yourself, you would sacrifice it for another? Marvelous!" His hands collided in a sharp clap, startling him. "Absolutely marvelous! I see now I was right to trust in you!"

"What?"

Still trembling with laughter, the Father of the Gods extended a hand.

"I shall do as you ask, though the consequences of this choice belong to you alone. Here."

A flash of light, and the whiskered warrior-quite suddenly-found himself holding a golden apple.

"Feed this to her on the morrow and she will be freed as you requested. But be warned, let no one else touch it!"

From his upturned palm now sprang a small circle of light.

"Accept this gift as well." he presented the crackling sphere to a startled Naruto. "In honor of your name-day and your selfless generosity. I present you with a small portion of my own power; my thunderbolt. Use it as you see fit."

Humbly, he accepted the gift.

With a wordless whisper it slipped through his hands and entered his chest, infusing him with power. Despite his best efforts the blond felt himself stand just a little straighter. As though he'd just woken up from a long nap in the sun, he found his body refreshed. Almost pleasantly so. Knowledge filled him, and he found his right arm pulling back almost reflexively. Sparks danced at his fingertips when he curled them into fists, tiny jolts of power ready and willing to be called upon at a moment's notice. He had but to will it and they would spring forth.

"Wow."

Awed, he looked up.

"Did you, ah, need anything else, gramps?"

A brief shadow flitted across the face of Zeus.

"There is...a small matter, but I believe it can wait until the morrow. I've kept you long enough." a tan hand laid itself upon his shoulder. "Go, my son. You've had a rough time of it and deserve your rest. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow."

Naruto knew a dismissal when he heard it.

...yes, sir."

Tucking the apple securely in his armor, he turned to depart. A few swift strides carried him away from the Father of the Gods and into the courtyard. He didn't think to look back. Why should he? Jogging, he hastened his pace and took the nearest exit, daring Hera's gardens in favor of reaching his destination all the sooner. With luck, he'd be able to escape without accosting anyone-

By the time saw Helios it was already too late to escape.

They crossed paths just as he neared the rotunda; he knew at once the God of the Sun was going to be in a cantankerous mood on this auspicious evening. Judging by his unsteady step, if not the cup of wine sloshing in his hands. By chance he'd emerged from an adjacent passage just as he passed within view. Or perhaps he'd merely been drinking with Dionysus. Whatever the case, he knew trouble when he saw it. The God had done his duty for the day and now he was right and properly soused.

'Just keep walking and he won't notice-damnit.'

"You reek of the Underworld, boy."

Naruto held his tongue.

He kept walking.

"Wait! Where are you off to in such a hurry? Why do you entertain yourself with that broken woman anyway?" laughing, the drunken god grabbed his shoulder and pulled him to a halt, swaying on his feet. "Surely there are better prospects. I thought Aphrodite was more than happy to warm you bed. Is she not enough for you?"

Naruto went rigid, his footsteps slowly falling silent.

"Helios." a false smile flitted across his whiskers cheeks. "How nice to see you again."

His relationship with the God of the Sun was...discordant, to say the least. Ironic, considering he'd saved him from a horrible fate. If Persephone had her way he'd be trapped by Atlas for the rest of his days. Of course, he had no way of knowing that, and the Son of the Gods wasn't eager to enlighten him. In his heart of hearts, knowing the truth both amused and appalled him. For all his kindness and generosity his patience had its limits and Helios was known to test those more than most. Unlike the affable Hermes who could be put off with wine or jests, Helios genuinely believed himself to be in the right in all things. No, he'd keep Persephone's treachery to himself in the hopes that he could still sway her from that path. After all, he was fond of this world. He didn't want to see it destroyed...

...no matter how much he might wish to deck a certain deity right about now.

"As much as I wish otherwise, I have matters to attend to." He sketched a stiff bow. "By your leave, Lord Helios."

To his credit, he made it all of a dozen steps before the older man finally called out to him.

"Your little dalliance with that whore, Persephone, I wonder what it will cost you?"

Naruto ground his teeth, yet resisted the persistent pull of his temper.

"I know not what you speak of, Helios."

"Is that so?" the God of the Sun leered at his retreating back. "Perhaps I should pay the little whore a visit myself." When the Son of the Gods didn't deign to face him, his voice took on an a decidedly ugly lilt. Jeering at him, supreme in his confidence. "Who knows? Perhaps I'll see fit to relieve her of her burden if she spreads her legs for me."

Anger reared its ugly head at long last.

On some level he knew the God was looking for a fight; goading him to take that first fateful swing. He knew, yet his body betrayed him regardless. His face twisted with rage, his blank countenance warping into a snarl of outrage. Even as Helios continued to goad him the blond pivoted in place and rounded on the drunken deity like an angry viper. A low hiss left his lips as he loomed before the God of the Sun. Helios staggered back half a step, alarmed by his speed. Was that a glimmer of sober fear he glimpse in those burning eyes now? He imagined it was. Still, one tiny sliver of sanity held sway.

"You do not want this fight, Helios." he growled.

The Sun God scoffed aloud at him.

"Fight? You? Over that whore-

CRUNCH.

An iron bar wrapped around his neck from behind, squeezing with such force that he felt the words physically wither in his throat. With a harsh clang the goblet fell from his grasp and clattered to the floor; forgotten as he flailed against the limb crushing the life out of him. To no avail. Red wind spattered the pristine floor, staining his precious golden boots the color of crimson. Blood, his air-deprived mind bleated with horror, realizing what was happening to him, what would transpire if he didn't escape. Even now, his vision began to swim; black stars dancing across a pale haze, draining all color from the world.

"Fool! You would kill a god?!"

"Not a god." Naruto's voice rumbled. "Just you."

"Why?!" he croaked out a snarl, struggling against the limb crushing the life out of him. "Why do you even care?! Zeus will have your head for this!"

Silence answered him.

"Persephone is nothing!" the God of the Sun spat, his fingers frantically seeking purchase where none was to be found. No matter how he burned, the young man ignored the light searing against his eyes, resisted the flames howling in his flesh. "No one! Why risk so much for her when you have your pick of Olympus itself?! Stupid boy! You could've just walked away!"

At last, the Son of the Gods answered his captive.

"Yes. I could have. But you talk too much."

Abruptly, he released Helios all at once.

Blessed air filled the god's lungs.

"Ha!" he sneered, "I knew you wouldn't-

Pain.

Clenched knuckles blinded him as the uppercut barreled into his chin from below.

Momentarily lifted him from the ground by the blow, he had a fleeting instant to realize his mistake. A sliver of a second, before the whiskered warrior slammed a windmill kick into his side and ground him into the floor. A shadow fell over him. Hands closed around his shoulders. Only then did he see them.

Red eyes.

'I've blundered.'

"She! Is not! A! WHORE!"

A taut fist barreled into his face with each word, sending his world spinning. Once. Twice. Thrice. By the fourth he wished only for the sweet slumber of Morpheus. Soon enough, he was granted it. Twin fists hammered down on his broken visage, consigning him to sweet-if painful-slumber in the arms of the night. Clawed fingers twitched, aching for another blow. To lash out and cut his throat, to silence his infernal talk forever. It would be so simple. So easy. Just a flick of his fingers, and he'd never hear those ugly words again...

Naruto exhaled, hovering over the fallen god...

...and with a breath, released his anger to the winds.

"Oh, dear." a new voice chimed. "Lose your temper again, brother?"

Naruto went rigid, poised to deliver a fifth and final blow to his tormentor.

Composing his face into a blank mask, the Son of the Gods turned to face the newcomer.

"Hermes."

The Messenger of the Gods was impossible to miss; his very hair seemed alight with mischief.

Thankfully, he at least appeared sober.

"Whatever happened to him?"

"It seems Lord Helios has fallen and broken his face." Naruto lamented with faux despair, indicating Helios's prone form. "Perhaps he has had too much to drink?"

"Pssh." the messenger of the Gods winked conspiratorially, sauntering to his side. "Not a difficult task, that." a booted foot nudged the deity's mangled face with contempt. "Look at him. Poor sod always was too much of a lightweight for his own good. A bit of Ambrosia and he'll be right as rain...

Naruto exhaled a sigh of relief he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"I don't suppose I can convince you to carry our brother back to his chambers?"

"Consider it done." the messenger conceded with a laugh. "But! You'll owe me a favor."

"If its mischief you're after, I'll gladly oblige." the blond rented.

"Even if it means making off with his chariot again?"

Naruto sputtered. "I was...very young!"

"That's the spirit!"

With a wink the fleet-footed deity snatched up Helios's prone form and vanished down a side passage, quick as you please. Naruto watched them go, idly wondering if this too, would come back to bite him. Helios couldn't possibly be aware of what had transpired today, yet he'd roused his temper nonetheless. The God of the Sun might well forget all about this transgression...or he might vow vengeance. Who knew? While he counted a fair number of Olympus among his allies, the moods of his patrons and siblings could be fickle indeed...

Silently thanking the gods for his silver tongue, he hastened the rest of the way toward his quarters.

"Ah," he hummed to himself. "Home sweet home."

His own personal chambers were relatively sparse in design; bare beyond his bed, a few trophies, and some personal affects. Over his mantle hung the bow gifted to him by Apollo, and there upon the wall, Athena's own shield. Some might think this spartan atmosphere unbecoming for one who lived among the gods, but in truth, Naruto had never been one for material possessions. Beyond his arms and armor, he only truly cherished the bonds he'd formed over the years. He couldn't ask for more...well, save the occasional feast or stiff drink. Seeing as the latter were in ample supply, he lacked for nothing.

With a thought, he sealed the chamber behind him, leaving only the faint light of braziers to illuminate the room.

Some might have feared the darkness, but Naruto welcomed it. Stealing a glance at the dark blankets of his bed, he felt the events of the day finally catch up with him. Having spent so many hours flitting from one place to another the idea of tucking himself under the covers and retiring was...strangely appealing. Especially given what would transpire tomorrow. He'd need to conceal the apple, of course. Tomorrow, he'd need to take it straight to the Underworld, and even then, he risked the fallout from Hades...all this, just for her.

"Yeah, I really should've worded that wish better."

He'd only just sat down when someone began pounding on the door.

"Tch, people all day today...

Reluctantly, he pulled himself upright and pushed open the door, one hand favoring the Nemesis Whip at his back. A snap of his fingers dimmed the braziers yet further, nearly plunging the room into darkness. With great care, he readied the weapon in hand. He doubted Helios had recovered so swiftly, but if an irate Hades awaited him behind that door he wished to be prepared. Worse, if Ares had as much wit as he did gall, he'd try to attack him here, where he was most vulnerable. If one of his enemies took advantage...

To his surprise, neither awaited him without.

"Alright, who-hey!"

Instead a slender figure darted through the opening he'd created, even as it sealed shut behind them. Smooth hands pushed against his chest, ushering him backwards. Startled as he was, he didn't think to resist. It was only when he glimpsed her-for this was most assuredly a her-face in the dim light that he realized who had crept into his quarters in the dead of night. A generous bosom pressed temptingly against him, warm breath on his face. When he reached down his hands tasted only supple skin clad in the thinnest of fabrics.

"Aphrodite...?"

A soft whisper, piqued on a moan greeted his words.

"Shhhhh!" the goddess hushed him. "Quiet!"

Her hands found his armor, tugging at it.

"I've missed you, lover. Take me."

Naruto blinked in quiet disbelief.

Who else was that bold?!

"What."

A/N: HA! Yes I just did that.

Figured this was a fine note to end the chapter on, regarding Aphrodite.

Saucy bits next chapter!

And there we go!

Updating a bunch of stuff today. Its always nice when I'm able to get a double update out for different stories. Health's holding up for the moment, though I'm going to see a doctor about heart stuff later this week. Hopefully, I don't need surgery. I HATE surgery.

*Gulp*

Ah, shit, nose is bleeding again, gotta go!

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review...Would You Kindly?

And Enjoy The Preview!

Hope you like 'em!

One is a joke...

...but which?

(Previews!)

"Brother!"

Pandora leaped at him and Naruto caught her with a grunt, steadying himself slightly against the door.

"Well, aren't you getting big!" Laughing, he swung her onto his shoulders. "Is that gauntlet ready yet, old man?"

"Impatient, aren't you?" Hephaestus chuckled quietly as he pulled his latest creation from the flame. "I told you; you can't rush perfection."

"If its payment you're after, I can-

"Nonsense!" The Smith God silenced him with a wave of a giant hand. "I won't hear of it. You've kept my secret and I'll gladly keep yours. With this, you should be able to keep that creature of yours in check. I merely need but one final ingredient before its complete."

A chill fell over the Son of the Gods.

"And whatever might that be?"

"Gorgon venom."

"YOU MUST NOT OPEN THE BOX!"

Poseidon raised a tan arm to him in greeting.

"Ah, there you are, nephew. Erinys was looking for you. As was your mother."

Despite himself, Naruto felt his cheeks flush.

"Mother? Another hunt, then?"

"Another hunt." the God of the Seas smiled, rumbling in agreement. "Best not to keep her waiting."

"Wait, do you mean Atemis or Aphrodite?"

"Both!" Poseidon laughed.

Naruto colored to the roots of his hair.

"Easy for you to say, one of them's terrifying!"

"Ah, but the prize!"

"You're drunk, aren't you uncle."

"You will not do this!"

Kratos grunted in surprise as a stiff right hook slammed into his jaw. Another blow struck him from the side, sending him spinning into a table. Even as a rose a booted food crunched against his chest, casting him through the temple wall.

"Idiot!" the blond admonished him! "Open your eyes! See who it is you nearly slew!"

Zeus frowned.

"Very well. If you insist on acting like a petulant child, then you shall be treated like one!"

The heavens darkened overhead as thunder rolled through the skies.

Obito swallowed thickly.

"Wait a second...!

R&R~! =D