AN: So, what is it that Amy couldn't show Sheldon inside the apartment, what exactly is she trying to hide?

"Oh my god…she's opening her coat and Sheldon's gone all gooey!" Penny gasped having beaten everyone by taking a flying leap over the coffee table.

"Move it, sister. Let someone else in on the action." Bernadette snapped, her irritation showing by the way she was suddenly sounding more like Howard's mother than, well, Howard's mother. She elbowed everyone out of the way and strained to see out of the peep hole. Howard sighed and knelt on the floor, knowing instinctively that Bernadette would want him to act as her footstool before she even asked him. She jumped onto his back and pressed her eye against the door.

"Well, I think Sheldon's finally worked out where second base is…" She remarked, "He seems to like it too, he's wearing that cute little koala face he gets whenever he's happy. Uh-oh, places everyone, they're coming back in!"

"What already? He found second base and didn't even give her a peck on the lips? I can't believe that he'd skip that part." Howard groaned as they quickly resumed their earlier positions, if Sheldon noticed they were all slightly red faced and out of breath he either ignored them or just hadn't noticed. He steered Amy toward the couch again, and gently removed her outer garment to reveal what she had been hiding all evening. There were gasps of amazement at the sight of the tiny bundle strapped to her chest.

"Penny, please reheat some more milk – make it Leonard's soy mixture. We don't want to cause any dietary distress…Amy did you think about bringing along some sterilised bottles?"

"In my bag, I just grabbed everything I could and ran out of there…" Amy sat perched on the edge of the couch and gazed down at the tiny creature in the makeshift sling she'd fashioned using the first aid kit from her lab.

"How…?" Leonard leant forward and reached out a hand to touch the tiny face, a sharp rap on his knuckles had him withdrawing his hand with a pained expression.

"Germs, Leonard. Really, we're dealing with a fragile creature barely two hours out of it's mother's womb and you want to place those unsanitary things all over it…Certainly not! If anyone wants to touch it, you will need to scrub your hands thoroughly with the antibacterial cleanser in the bathroom cabinet and then present them for inspection…" Before Sheldon could finish his sentence there was a mad scramble for the bathroom, with Howard having the advantage of being closest to the door.
"Howard Wolowitz! You let me in there otherwise there will be no monkey business for you when we get home…"

"Almost done, Bernie – there!" Howard delicately opened the door using just the tips of his fingers and walked down the hallway holding his hands in the air as if he were a surgeon about to delve into open heart surgery.

"No, not clean enough. Go back and scrub them again, make sure you get under those fingernails this time, buster." Sheldon gave Howard's hands a cursory glance before sending him back to the bathroom with a haughty wave of dismissal. "That goes for everyone! Under the fingernails and in between your fingers too..." He raised his voice slightly and there was a chorus of groans from the bathroom where he could hear Bernadette and Leonard fighting over who got to use the nailbrush first. In the meantime, Sheldon had poured the lukewarm soy milk into a tiny baby's bottle and was debating what the best position was to feed the baby in. He finally let out a sigh and motioned for Amy to slide over.

"Here, if you lean against the end of the couch then you will be able to feed him without jostling him about too much."

"Her…Betsy had a little girl. It all happened so quickly, we didn't even realise she was in labour until it was almost over. She haemorrhaged and there was nothing we could do to save her. The rest of the team wanted to perform an autopsy straight away, and then they were talking about how they were going to do the same thing to this little poppet…and I just grabbed her and ran…"

"You did the right thing, Amy."

"Despite the fact that I've probably brought all sorts of germs into your household and I'm now sitting feeding a baby Capuchin monkey on your end of the couch…she hasn't even had her first bath yet!" Amy glanced over at Sheldon who was sitting next to her on the middle expression with a look of intense concentration on his face.

"Yes, that is a problem. But luckily for you, I am a genius and already have a solution!" Sheldon rose from the couch and held out his arms in a typical 'gimme' fashion.

"Sheldon…"

"Move over lil' lady and hand me that baby!" Sheldon demanded, his twang decidedly pronounced in his excitement. Amy sighed as she slid into the vacant spot and prepared to take the little baby out of the sling.

"You have to hold her as close to your body as you can, she can't regulate her own body temperature as yet. I'll need to go out and see if I can get one of those Kangaroo slings that they use for premature babies…" Amy mused as she struggled to release the knot holding the temporary sling in place; Sheldon gave a sigh and simply slid his hands inside the sling and removed the baby; completely ignoring the fact that his hands had brushed over Amy's breasts whilst doing so. He settled back into his spot and nestled the baby capuchin in his arms and brushed the nipple of the bottle over her tiny mouth.

"C'mon, open up for Uncle Shelly. That's it Darlin'…" Sheldon crooned as the monkey finally caught onto the nipple and started taking in the milk. "There's more antibacterial soap under the kitchen sink, if you hurry you can get another cuddle in before everyone else busts back in." Sheldon nodded over to the kitchen area and Amy just gave him a look which indicated she was not in the best frame of mind.

"Sheldon, I helped that little baby struggle out of it's mother's womb tonight…I've been disinfected and scrubbed with enough antibacterial soap to rival even you…who if I may point out, has not even followed his own procedures and is now hugging a new born Capuchin monkey against his precious Flash t-shirt when she is still covered in the amniotic fluid from her mother's belly." Sheldon just looked up at Amy as if to say; and your point is? She shrugged and settled back against the cushions making a list on her notepad of everything she would need to take care of the infant until she could safely donate her to the zoo.

"Don't forget nappies…and soy formula…we're going to need one of those baby bath things too…" Sheldon peered over her shoulder to scan over her notes, Amy looked up with a frown.

"There is no 'we' in this situation, Sheldon. I'm going to have to take at least six weeks sabbatical from the university in order to ensure the baby's survival…I think if I cite a slight breakdown I should be able to get away with it."

"What on earth do you mean, there is no 'we'? I'm not going to just leave you with all of the responsibility for looking after the baby. What kind of a father do you think that would make me?"

"Sheldon, it's a monkey; not a real baby. I'm not her mother and you are not her father." Amy explained patiently as if she were explaining the facts of life to a child. Sheldon merely narrowed his eyes at his girlfriend and turned his attention back to the infant on his chest.

"Don't you listen to nasty auntie Amy, Uncle Shelly's gonna take real good care of you…Why don't you close those little peepers of yours and get some shut eye? Mmm, that's it, I know it's been a hard day for you…that's it close those little eyes and go to dreamland…ssshhhh…" Sheldon kept crooning to the tiny little creature until he was sure she was asleep, and it was only then that he realised that Amy had fallen asleep as well and currently nestled against his other shoulder. He sighed a little before raising his arm so that Amy could rest more easily and felt her arm wrap around his waist, he let his own arm fall around her shoulder and she snuggled in to his warmth. He looked around to see Howard, Bernadette, Leonard and Penny coming out of the bathroom finally and raised his hand to his lips to indicate they should remain silent.

"I've just got them both settled, no sudden moves and you can all have a quick look before you leave. Penny – I believe Amy has started a list of essential items needed to ensure the baby's survival; please take the money out of my wallet and visit the store for me. Leonard, I would appreciate it if you could pass me a towel from the linen closet so that I may form some type of diaper…I believe that we may have already experienced a slight leakage…" Penny leant over Sheldon's shoulder to gently run her hand across the baby's tiny arm and sighed when she was once again elbowed out of the way by Bernadette.

"Don't you have shopping to do? Now, beat it!" Bernadette snapped and then her usual girlish tone took over when she saw how closely the three of them were nestled against each other on the couch. "It's like our own little evolution right in front of our eyes…" Bernadette gently stroked the baby's back, making sure that her fingers didn't stray into Sheldon territory and then she leant over to kiss Amy gently on the cheek. "Poor kid, she's had a tough one alright. I know how hard it is to lose something that you've become attached to, I remember the faces of each and every little bunny that I've injected with malaria and ebola over the years…it never really goes away."

"Okay, Bernie. Let's get you home before you start crying over the rats too…"Howard went to steer his wife away from the couch until a slight cough from Sheldon stopped him in his tracks.

"So you're just going to walk out of here without even a glance at our little Marie?"

"Marie, really?"

"Well, I was going to call her Dian after Dian Fossey; but that didn't work out too well for her."
"And you think Marie is going to be any better? I mean, the woman did die due to the exposure to her own experiments."

"Mmmm…maybe I'll just call her Pepper after all."

"Pepper Potts?"

"Yeah, after all I do so love Iron Man, and Pepper seems so much happier in the movies." Sheldon explained with a slight shrug.

"Okay, goodnight Sheldon. Goodnight, Pepper." Howard nodded in Pepper's direction and waved a hand, he stopped when he heard Sheldon sigh again. "Goodnight, Amy."

"That's better, goodnight Howard, Bernadette." Sheldon felt a little more moisture seep out of Pepper's bottom and somehow managed not to leap of the couch to head straight into the shower. He waited patiently for Leonard to come back into the room with a handful of handtowels and some safety pins.

"I think these should be small enough…how do we?" Leonard hesitated with the towels in his hand and Sheldon sighed as he leant forward on the couch, being careful not to jostle Pepper or Amy too much. He took a towel from Leonard and quickly formed the classic kite formation for a diaper, he placed the sleeping capuchin gently on the towel and folded the corners into place, securely fastening them with a pin.

"That should be sufficient until Penny comes back with the appropriate sized diapers. Now Leonard, I sorely in need of a shower and change of clothes…would you mind taking my spot for a few moments whilst I am otherwise engaged." Sheldon glanced up at Leonard who was blinking back tears from his eyes – at last, he Leonard Hopfstadter was being invited to occupy the sacred spot that was Sheldon's.

"I don't know what to say…"

"Oh don't get all hippy dippy on me now, Leonard. I don't want Amy waking up with a crick in her neck because she's suddenly lost her support system…and besides I need someone to hold Pepper until I return. Amy said that we need to keep her as close to our bodies as possible in order for her to maintain a steady body temperature." Sheldon snapped his fingers in Leonard's face and prepared to make a move. "On three…one, two…" When they reached the count of three Leonard slipped into Sheldon's spot and saw Amy shift slightly in her sleep and wrinkle her nose as the scent of Leonard's cologne reached her nostrils. She moved slightly away, curling her arms around her own body as if she could already tell that Sheldon was no longer her cuddle companion. Sheldon smirked at the sight as he carefully placed the sleeping Pepper into Leonard's arms and waited for a moment until he was sure that she was settled.

"Now remember, no sudden movements…Amy doesn't like people that get too handsy, and I've already told you that she's not for you."

"Sheldon…" Leonard sighed, did they really have to have this conversation all over again? "I threw my groin out doing the hokey pokey…"

"Bazinga!" Sheldon threw over his shoulder as he sauntered down the hallway, thinking what impeccable taste his girlfriend had; he hadn't missed the wrinkled nose as she realised that his talc scented skin had been replaced by some odious, cheap cologne; probably the same bottle that Penny gave Leonard for his birthday every year since they had met.