Disclaimer: I do no own KnA

Anywhooselbees...poor Tsukito will remain a virgin throughout our imaginations. Time and time again even thinking/depicting Tsukito in a relatively dry-hump manner has proven futile. It's just not possible. So I have no choice but to do what others have done and really PG his romance.

Pffft! Fuck that! Here's a saucy rom-com for Tsuki-tsuki fans because god forbid that man has a penis…maybe. I haven't done a sex comedy in a long while, so bear with me.

Warning: Contains graphic language and adult content. If you don't like smut or pr0n of any kind then don't be a dick and read this just to report it. I haven't had that happen to me but a friend of of mine who is an infinitely better writer than I am had a story taken down for less graphic stuff than what most people on here write, just because some moron couldn't read the "M" rating or the warning of smut and freaked.

I'm Sorry...

Married life for Yui Totsuka neé Kusanagi was never something she expected. From watching her own parents she didn't expect it to be nonstop excitement, but neither did she think it was so…frustrating.

She felt her face go red with anger as she carefully shifted her infant son, Akito, to one arm in order to reach up to the kitchen cabinet for the formula. Thank the gods Akito was like a ragdoll cat that a simple shift wouldn't phase him.

"Here we go, baby," she said to her infant sweetly, using one hand to pour in the formula into a very narrow bottle, filling it up with water and then heating it in the microwave. As she waited for the formula to heat up she glanced at the clock, her fingers drumming impatiently on the kitchen counter.

"I swear Akito, your father better get his butt out of bed. He's already in the doghouse," Yui opened the microwave door once the ding sounded. Teeth close to grinding off, she waited for the bottle to cool before giving it to her baby. Oh she was so close to screaming at the top of her lungs.

She reclined Akito and brought the bottle to the babe's beautiful rosebud lips. For a brief moment all her anger and frustration with the man upstairs melted away when she saw her baby eagerly take the bottle nipple into his mouth and suckled, his auburn eyes slowly closing in contentment.

Leave it to a baby to save Tsukito Totsuka's ass. The quiet, blank-faced man casually descended the stairs into the kitchen, wearing a simple white work-shirt. Yui didn't greet him and he didn't seem to notice.

Of course he didn't. It would be a miracle if he did.

"You'd better hurry, Tsukito. You'll be late…again."

"I understand," was her husband's rather quiet monotone answer as he grabbed a carrot out of the fridge and left the kitchen, placing it in front of the family pet rabbit, Usamaro as he put on his shoes.

"I shall see you tonight, " was all he said, before the door to the house opened and Tsukito left for work.

Yui took a deep, deep, deep, deep breath. Count to 10 Yui. Think of Akito. He doesn't need to be around such hostility.

Yet, her heart began to soar as she heard the door re-open and Tsukito walked back in, "I forgot something."

Better late than never.

He walked into the kitchen, looking in her direction and her heart thumped, feeling glee that he had remembered this year. A kiss, a greeting, a congratulations, a pat on the head, a smack on her bottom, Yui didn't care as long as Tsukito goddamn acknowledged that it was her birthday today.

If she was waiting for any of those, she was massively, morbidly disappointed. Tsukito reached around her and picked up his work satchel. Tsukito didn't do much else but run a gentle finger through his son's few silky purple hairs on his head, before turning and leaving.

Yui had a mind enough to gently pull the bottle away from Akito's lips and hugging him to her chest, boxing his tiny delicate ears as she seethed aloud, "It's my birthday, you imbecile!"

Frustration. Two years of frustration. Perhaps more than that. Yui loved her husband dearly, but good god. The man was work. Yui Kusanagi met the mysterious Tsukito Totsuka four years ago at her father's shrine. It was dusk and he was praying at the time. Or a least she thought he was until she shook his shoulder and realized that he was prostrating…fast asleep.

Tsukito was quiet and didn't smile much, not because of any past trauma. He was just…odd. The most socially awkward man Yui met. And yet, just seeing Tsukito's soft smile was enough to make her swoon. It was enough to forget all the frustration and effort taken when entering in a relationship with him.

Well…maybe it wasn't enough.

Yui knew being involved with Tsukito would be exhausting. She had to play buffer between the world and her socially inept significant other. Sometimes the buffer between her desires and him as well.

He was blunt. Not in his affections but how he interpreted courtship. He'd say things like "This is the fourth date. I should kiss you at the door, fast enough before your parents can catch us." or "It is customary to hold hands."

Sweet lord. Most of the time Yui had to remind him of proper social norm. Or rather the ways to accomplish romantic norm. And she hated it.

The couple had sex only three times. Three. Times. Four years of knowing each other and they only experienced what a man and a woman did together three times. Once on their honeymoon, because according to Tsukito, "I must complete my mission in being a bridegroom."

The second time was when they returned home from their honeymoon and Tsukito's brother, Takeru, grinningly asked how many times they had "done the nasty." After more questions from Tsukito about what he meant, Tsukito came to the surprising conclusion that newlyweds had intercourse more than once.

The last time was when Akito was conceived. Poor Tsukito accidently picked up a raunchy novel while waiting in line at the local pharmacy. He returned that night with a bottle of anti-itch cream, the tawdry novel, and the realization once they lay in bed, "I had forgotten to have intercourse with you."

When Yui told him she was pregnant with Akito, Tsukito simply looked up from his notes, "Then I have completed my mission as a man and as a husband." Leave it to Yui to get knocked up only after her third time.

During her pregnancy though, she felt surprisingly at ease. Tsukito took extensive notes on having a healthy pregnancy and what to do for the baby's benefit. Emotionally he was as distant as a robot, but it was nice that she had someone there who didn't seem so overwhelmed. But when Akito was born, Tsukito broke his stony façade and gave her that heart-melting smile as he gazed upon her and his newborn son.

But with a baby to take care of, Tsukito's rather self-engrossed robotic demeanor wore at Yui's patience. When she wanted to relax and release he just didn't bite. Last night, when she felt like "letting off some tension" no matter what moves she put on Tsukito just stared blankly.

"Yui, is there a reason why you are wearing a red undergarment that seems to be six sizes too small?"

Calming herself, Yui whispered to her now sleeping babe, "I love your papa, but when we get old, the moment he forgets to put the toilet seat down I'm sending him to a home."

Tsukito Totsuka always rode a bike to work. It was simple, efficient, and rather economical. His work wasn't far from his home. It would've been closer if he had gone for the first job he applied for. Tsukito liked to work nights, so he applied for the nightshift at a nearby general store, but with a growing family, he had to remain with a higher paying ordinary salaryman job at a local insurance company.

He pedaled by his usual seashore route, passing the boardwalk and a small little surf shop with a rather lovely painted sign that read "Totsuka Surf and Line."

"Brother." Tsukito heard that deep throaty voice of his younger brother. Takeru waved excitedly at Tsukito. Though they greeted each other everyday, Takeru never tired of seeing his "honorable older brother".

"Takeru," he set the brakes to his bike and steadied himself with one foot, staring at his short but muscular younger brother as he carefully placed a neatly waxed surfboard on display outside his sales window.

"What is your plan for this evening?" the blue spiky-haired young man asked. Tsukito just gave him a blank stare.

"You have no plans?" Takeru looked shocked, "but it's Yui's birthday."

"Yui's…birthday…?"

Takeru looked mortified now as he shook his head, "Oh, no, no, no. Please tell me you didn't forget?"

Tsukito blinked. No he didn't forget, but he never understood why people seemed so violently astonished that he had done nothing for his wife on what to him was just a day. Sure, it was special by social norms, but he didn't realize that beyond adolescence, birthdays amounted to anything.

Was Yui expecting something? Was there something he missed?

"Shit, brother, you need to do something and fast," Takeru looked almost fearful of Tsukito's life. He rushed into his shop and rummaged through his drawers and pulled out several bracelets and necklaces made of seashells he had found.

"Here," Takeru's face was red in panic, "Take them. Take all of them, I don't care, and give them to her."

Tsukito felt the beautiful bracelets weigh down his hand, the beautiful pastel colors of the shells glistening in the sun. "Takeru, I'm sure she would be glad to know you gave her this gift for her birthday."

"No, no!" his brother nearly yelled, "These are from you to her. To save your ass."

But the more he thought about it, the more Takeru realized that this wouldn't work. Surely Yui would be able to tell that these shells came from him rather than Tsukito. Yui would probably love them anyway, but at the very least she deserved a gift Tsukito got on his own. If his brother weren't so rigid and clueless, it would be easier to just send him on his way.

"Flowers," Takeru said aloud. "She'd love flowers. I mean all girls love flowers, right?"

What was he doing asking Tsukito that? Like he'd know or acknowledge it. Yet, his older brother stroked his chin in thought.

A gift. It was his obligation to get a gift for Yui that she may like. Flowers are pretty generic, but adequate to show that he did not forget the anniversary of her birth. If he were honest, he wasn't sure Yui held any sort of affinity for them. He could wager she didn't hate them, as she regularly planted them in the beds around the shrine.

"Special flowers," Tsukito said distantly. Takeru nodded, "Yeah. I mean there are plenty of flower shops around town, but I hear that there are places in the countryside that flowers grow better and brighter, depending on the flower of course."

After a brief pause Tsukito had made his decision without much consideration. "Then that will be my next mission," he said attempting to harden his tone. He stepped back on his bike and pedaled off leaving his brother relieved, at least for now.

Perhaps the further he went, the closer he would get to his goal and finally finish his mission. Tsukito kept pedaling and pedaling trying to gain some sense of direction. He bypassed the main street, opting instead to take back ways out of the populated town. Trees and houses and roads quickly gave way to bare fields with patches of trees. Tsukito realized he was not on any road but a dirt road presumably a long unused way to some private expanse of property.

At the moment, though he was now in what he considered the countryside and far way from the nearest house or human, Tsukito forgot the possible dangers of biking in unknown areas alone. Here, to him, was as good a chance to find something that would appeal to Yui.

That's what Takeru said right? The most beautiful of flowers spring up in the country? His logic seemed sound. What flower grown in the musty dirty city could outshine one surrounded by nature?

Tsukito heard the something drive on the gravel road behind him. He glanced over his shoulder and spotted a dark green pick-up truck heading his way. He responded by shifting as far as he could to the shoulder of the road so as to not be in the truck's way.

Much to his surprise the truck seemed to slow up beside him and Tsukito could read the side of the truck: Midgard Farms.

"Pardon me?"

The driver of the truck had to be the most beautiful man Tsukito had ever seen. He was obviously foreign, with long blonde hair tied up in a loose knot and blue eyes. Even though he was slightly dirty and grimy, he still was beautiful, his wary smile shining brightly.

"Are you lost?" he asked politely.

"I am not," Tsukito answered.

"Then where are you headed?" another voice rang out. In contrast to the blonde man's voice, this man's voice was snarky. A smaller red-haired man with pale skin leaned forward in the passenger seat to get a good view of Tsukito. "You sure don't look like you've got any clue as to what you're doing."

Tsukito stopped his bike and the red-head smacked the blond man to get him to stop the truck.

"Seriously, where are you going?"

Tsukito glanced up the road and then back at the two country boys in the truck. Fine specimens they were. Surely girls would flock all of the country to them if they knew they existed. If Tsukito was enthralled by these two…foreign farm boys, maybe they could provide an alternative.

"I'm trying to find a gift for someone."

The red-head cackled, banging on the front panel and slapping his blonde friend, "You hear that Balder? A gift?"

"I heard," the blond boy replied, not nearly as amused as the smaller man.

"I am trying to find a gift for my wife," Tsukito explained, emotional range not going much beyond what is expected when being confronted by two complete strangers.

"Oh? What's the occasion?"

"It's her birthday," Tsukito replied, before his tone dropped portraying his disappointment in himself, "I had forgotten."

"Oh shit."

Whoever said that curse tried to say it under his breath. So they too knew the social taboo of forgetting the birthday of a wife. So they were socially sensitive too. Instead of feeling abject emasculation, Tsukito found that these two men might be what he had been looking for.

He had read that raunchy novel in which a young girl was swept up in the arms of a farm hand. Seductive, strong and virile were the terms. These two young men seemed to fit that description. At least put together they did. The redhead seemed to uphold the lingual charm of what could be construed as the seduction, while the blond held much of the strong and virile aspect. So put together they were the ultimate package of what seemed to attract and please females.

A living romance would be the perfect gift.

"A thought occurred to me," Tsukito said, not realizing that what he was about to say would shatter even the most obscure social norms of Japanese society. "Perhaps you two could be the gift. You seem to have characteristics that match those that seem to appeal to women and their fantasies."

The two men gawked at him, not sure if they heard right. The red haired man cleared his throat, "So you are suggesting…that we go…and…'entertain' your wife. What planet is this guy from? But you are breaking the most sacred and honored traditions of marriage…and what time do you want us there?"

The blond pushed his friend back, "What my friend his trying to say is that even for something as…awkward…as this, we aren't prostitutes. Officially."

He finished his sentence with a shrug.

"Then the original plan should be proficient," Tsukito said in his usual clinical tone. "I'm looking for some nice country flowers. I heard that women like them."

The red-head again slapped his friend on the shoulder. "Go take care of him Balder."

The blond opened the driver door of the truck and stepped out, each bit of him that was revealed telling Tsukito for certain that he was of farm stock. His work boots and jeans were dusty and he wore a faded black t-shirt with the sleeves cut out down to his ribcage, showing sturdy arms with a dark faded red farmer's tan.

Tsukito was an inch or two taller than him, but the foreign boy certainly looked bigger. Tsukito had little doubt that if he wanted he could effectively tackle him down and force him into the truck if he so chose.

Luckily for Tsukito, the blond didn't seem at all interested in forcefully kidnapping him. He just hoisted up his jeans and flipped down his driver seat. He stood back, almost waiting for Tsukito to enter the truck.

"Get in, weirdo!" the red head called, "We know what you're looking for."

Tsukito blinked, but stepped forth, crawling behind the driver seat of the truck. The blond farm boy grabbed his bike and hoisted it in the bed of the truck. In the meantime, Tsukito got a better look at the red head. He was indeed smaller than the blond and wore a purple hooded sweatshirt that was muddied with dust, like his friend's shirt and jeans. He had gray eyes and a mole on his chin and three more moles under his right eye.

The blond pushed the seat back and slid in, starting the truck and driving up the road.

"What's your name?" he asked after the truck was driving at a steady rate.

"Totsuka. Totsuka, Tsukito."

"I'm Loki," the ginger replied, before reaching over and touching the driver's shoulder. "This is Balder. We joint own a farm up the road."

"I see."

"So how long have you been married," Loki asked. Tsukito was aware that was a rather personal question, but there was no harm in telling them about his marriage since they were supposedly helping him.

"Two years."

"Not long, eh? Any kids?"

"One," Tsukito answered before returning with a question of his own, "Are you married?"

Balder shook his head and Loki laughed, "No we're not married, but between Balder and I we've probably fathered at least fourteen kids in the next town over."

Tsukito for a moment took him seriously, but he could see Balder softly shaking his blond head. Some joke. At least Tsukito hoped it was a joke. Not that he should be a judge anyway. He did after all thought about using them for less than acceptable moral purposes.

"What can I say? Laboring foreigners really get to the ladies," Loki joked.

Tsukito looked from one boy to the other. He could understand the appeal of trying to spice up one's life with reeling in a European man into their bedroom, but it wasn't something he thought much of until now.

"How old is your child Totsuka?" Balder asked, his tone much more friendly than his partner's.

"He's only a few months."

"Congratulations then. What is his name-?"

Loki sighed, hating to be ignored and said rather insensitively, "Enough about the kid. Keep your focus on how to please your wife who is now probably pissed. Have you tried sex?"

Silence. Almost mocking silence.

"No," Tsukito responded flatly. "I have not had intercourse with my wife very much."

"What do you mean?" Loki asked almost astonished. "What? Only once a week?"

Silence.

"A month?"

More silence."Please don't tell me a year?"

Tsukito rubbed his chin in thought. Intercourse wasn't something he noted often, but he could count how much he had engaged in marital activities with Yui.

"Three times comes to mind."

"Jesus lord," Loki whispered under his breath, "For god sakes, Totsuka, I have gotten further with Balder than what you have gone with your wife."

Of course, Tsukito misinterpreted that statement, "I see. You two have an alternate lifestyle."

"No," the red head shook his head, and although Tsukito couldn't see him, he was blushing furiously, while Balder blinked obliviously. "No, I meant that…I meant that as a joke…a metaphor…WHATEVER! The point is that how the hell did you manage to go two years with only that much hanky panky?"
He only answered with the utmost logic, "I complete my tasks as a husband. I provide for my family, and make a steady income."

This time Balder had something to say with a smirk on his face, "There's more to life than just completing duties of societal norms."

"Balder's right," Loki said. "Learn to enjoy what you have dude. Give in to your desires. Be a man."

At that moment, Tsukito resigned himself to learn from these men. He would become a man to his wife. Flowers included.

In town, Yui busied herself with her usual work around the shrine, raking and sweeping among other average chores, carrying Akito in a cloth hammock around her back. Akito as usual was sleeping. He was an easy child, she mused, sleeping mostly and was quiet otherwise, one of the few good traits he got from his papa.

"Yui!" she heard a familiar voice call and she turned, spotting Takeru run up the steps to the shrine. Immediately ice settled in her gut seeing the concerned look on his face.

"Yui!" he paused to take a breath. "Did you receive a phone call from brother's office?"

She shook her head, "I've been outside all day. Why?"

"I just got a call from his boss. He didn't come into work. I told him that I saw him head off to the office. He didn't come back here did he?"

"No," Yui said, trying to think of another question. She was worried sick now. The town was safe, but Tsukito could've gotten into an accident on his bike. Immediately she ran inside, the jostling not disturbing Akito one bit. She checked the messages on the phone and found one message from Tsukito's office, but nothing else. Well that means he wasn't at a hospital.

"Takeru," she turned to her brother-in-law who was wringing his hands, "You saw Tsukito ride by your shop?"

He nodded, "Yes, we talked as usual. I mean we had a lengthy pseudo-discussion about your birthday."

"Yes I know," Yui muttered, bitter at the reminder.

Then as Takeru rolled the conversation over in his head, he came to realize something. "Wait...a moment. I think he ran off...maybe."

Yui's eyes widened, "What? Like ran off as in...leaving us."

"No, no. I told him about some flowers that he could get you. In the countryside. I didn't think he'd take it seriously. Though I probably should've known better."

"Yes you should've. Is it safe?"

Takeru shrugged, "I don't know. It shouldn't take him too long. Not this long. Is it possible he just stopped to relax?"

If she were honest, Yui didn't know. Tsukito was very goal and mission oriented. Once he completed his task he usually took the time to chill until his next "mission." Still, it was very, very unlike him to neglect his duties at the company. Let alone to abandon them for something he clearly had no clue or care about.

She wanted to be angry, but now, mostly she was worried.

"Where are we?" Tsukito asked as Balder pulled the truck deep into a forested area. The trees here were tall, hiding the sun, illuminating the greens and browns. He got a little suspicious when the two men didn't answer him immediately. Eventually they didn't have to answer him as they pulled up the road to a small quaint house that seemed to double as a shop.

The house was surrounded by plants, some seeming to grow on and out of the house. The flowered plants were large and vibrant, the colors of pinks, purples, greens, and yellows breaking the forest green and brown of the surrounding area.

Balder stopped the truck and stepped out and Loki followed, "He we are."

Tsukito crawled out of the backseat and stood next to the two foreigners looking up at the beautifully painted sign that read: Olympus Nursery and Firework.

"What?" was all Tsukito could say about the sign.

"I know right?" Loki chuckled. "These two idiots made a two-in-one firework and flower shop. Because everyone wants some Roman candles to go with their petunias."

"Come on," Balder said as he opened the door. A bell chimed to signal their entrance and a high excited voice called from the back, "Uncle Hades! Uncle Hades! Someone's here!"

A young man, tall and sunny blond bounded to the front desk looking rather excited. "Bal-Bal! Good day!"

"Hello, Agana Balea," Balder's comparatively calm voice replied back as he flashed a soothing smile.

Another man, a green-black haired older man, who was equally tall, but didn't quite look it with his rather hunched posture eased in to the front desk. Both men were just as handsome as Balder and Loki and definitely equally foreign.

"Good day, Balder and Loki," the second man's voice was deep and slow, accenting his rather gloomy appearance.

"Hey Hades, Apollon, we got you a customer." Loki pointed to Tsukito

Tsukito casully waved, "Hello."

The blond boy hurdled over the counter and hugged Tsukito, "Hello, gracious customer! Want some of Apollon's fireworks?"

Tsukito was not really put off by Apollon's rough and public display of affection despite not really knowing him very well. Sadly, he had to tell him, "I'm actually here for something for my wife."

Apollon still smiled, "Fireworks are certainly to amaze your wonderful wife."

"He's actually looking for flowers," Loki said, "This fool forgot his wife's birthday. So we need something to really correct that."

Apollon was caught between a mixture of disappointment and incredulity. What man forgets his wife's birthday.

"And from what he tells me, flowers isn't the end of it," Loki said under his breath but loud enough for everyone to hear.

Balder nudged his friend and scolded, "Loki..."

"What? I still can't get over he's only had sex three times in two years."

Apollon's and Hades' eyes grew wide, like the very idea was inconceivable. Balder folded his arms across his chest and sighed, "At some point we dedicated ourselves in ridding him of this 'problem'." He said it as if he just realized it and was unwittingly dragged into it.

"I assume from your figures that you all have had many relationships and advice to give me," Tsukito bowed respectfully. "I'm here to learn whatever you can teach."

"Well, I don't know if we can teach you how to do...that," Apollon shrugged, glancing at the others. "I mean I guess we fellas collectively have had many romps in the hay, but its not something that is taught."

Loki rolled his eyes, "Of course it can be taught. It's a matter of practice. Go by feel."

Tsukito glanced from one man to the other as they listed off tips, Balder and Hades silent. Unfortunately for Tsukito, Apollon and Loki seemed to be giving contradicting advice. Use lube, don't use lube. Do sexy talk, speak with actions only. Clockwise for nipple play, no, counter-clockwise.

Hades let them argue. He was busy pruning some flowers. Balder was with him, looking at some lovely begonias and asking him a few questions on how he got them so big.

"Sweet Jesus, Apollon, how you get the reputation you have is beyond me. Your technique is crap. Does anyone come back for more?" Loki was being harsh, but Apollon didn't seem to care either way and simply answered, "I just do what I know and it seems to be enough."

Loki grumbled, but was interrupted when Hades slammed his shears onto the counter.

"You both are wrong," he said. Apollon and Loki paused, staring at the normally quiet florist. "This woman is his wife. Not some random housewife who wants an afternoon of promiscuity. Your rules don't apply. It's all about romance."

Hades smiled gently at Tsukito, wrapping a ribbon around a beautiful set of flowers he picked out, "You problem isn't stagnant passion, Totsuka. You need to indulge her more."

Balder nodded, "Make her feel special to you."

Hades held out the bouquet of flowers, "Here. She will love these, I guarantee it."

Tsukito silently took the bouquet and repeated his words. "Romance her?"

Everyone groaned lightly. If he had no clue of romance, then it was going to be a long, long lesson.

Tsukito didn't return until late in the evening. He was exhausted listening and learning to the four satyric men give him tips on the ways of pleasing a woman's sensitive side. But all that still meant he had to hurdle Yui's wrath.

Yui looked up from playing with Akito in her lap when Tsukito entered. To her surprise he held in his hand the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and a plastic bag. His face was blank as usual, but something was up.

Yui gently placed her son in the high chair in the kitchen and approached her husband with a mixture of fury and confusion.

"I hope you realize you fucked up," she said with her hands on her hips.

"I have learned to start remembering your birthdays and other significant annual celebrations."

Yui shook her head incredulously. She was always astonished at how clueless her husband could be. He held out the flowers and she spotted a card clipped to the stem of one. Curious she took the flowers and read the card.

Sorry for all the non-sex.

-Tsukito

Yui's mouth gaped open like a fish, tears welling in her eyes, touched beyond all measures, "Tsukito…this is the most beautiful thing you've ever given me."

Any normal person would've been confused or weirded out at the message, but Yui knew her husband that something as ridiculous as that card caused her heart to well up with emotion.

Then, when she looked up, Tsukito smiled. Her knees felt weak. That gentle heart-melting smile threw all her anger away in one moment. If Tsukito learned that just smiling would make her forgive him in an instant, he would be practically immortal. Her husband closed the door behind him and suggested, "Can we put Akito to bed?"

"Um, yes. It is past his bedtime."

"Good, because I want to initiate intercourse with you."

Yui's eyes widened, "Tsukito, stop, you're getting me all hot."

The couple put their little boy to bed and quickly got to their own room. Yui didn't put on anything lacy or seductive, she just undressed as her husband did the same. It was the most fervent start of intercourse she'd ever had. Of course with only three other times to compare too it wasn't much.

Tsukito opened the plastic bag he was carrying, sifting through the fireworks and found the CD Loki let him borrow. He put it in the CD reader of their clock stereo and turned it on. A slow, low, rumbling sexy voice sang or more jived over the thwanging of jazz guitars.

"Is this Barry White?" she asked.

"It is," Tsukito answered.

"Oh my god," Yui gasped almost seductively. "I'm about to have sex to Barry White music. You sure know how to make a girl's dream come true."

Tsukito smirked and drew himself closer to his beautiful and beloved wife taking a moment to appreciate her form at arms length swaying to the lustful sultry sounds of the music. Tsukito leaned in and gently kissed her and Yui eagerly responded in kind.

He pulled her flush to his body, eliciting a gasp of surprise and arousal. Tsukito devoured her neck. Well, not so much devoured as lightly and gently kissed all over. He would hardly ever be one to have rough sex and Yui didn't mind. At this point, he all but surprised her.

"You are so beautiful," Tsukito gasped against her skin in such a passionate tone that Yui had a hard time believing this was her clinical husband. She pressed his face away from her neck and kissed him deeply, prodding his lips with her tongue. He opened for her and wrapped his arms even tighter around her shoulders, overwhelmed with a familiar but woefully infrequent feeling in the pit of his belly. Whatever that feeling was, was causing a response in his genitals.

No one was sure who dragged whom to the bed. Tsukito pushed and Yui pulled and they collapsed onto their marital bed, still wrapped around each other tightly. Tsukito pulled away and began kissing and nipping her neck, throat, collarbone, and chest.

"Wait, what about condoms to prevent conception again?"

Yui dismissed that notion fervently, "I don't care. Japan's population his declining anyway, so we'd be doing this country a favor. Just do me."

Tsukito didn't ask anymore questions and did what he was told, rubbing his boxer-clad arousal against her as if he were giving her proof that, yes, he was a sexual being. In some ways, he couldn't really wait much longer. He wanted to prove to her then and there how he actually felt about her, but learning from the conversations he's had today, she would appreciate something a little more slow.

Tsukito moaned inaudibly, his chest rumbling as he dragged his lips over the curve of her large breasts to her belly, which was still soft and squishy from the birth of their son a few months back. Though she may have been embarrassed, he didn't mind one bit. He dragged himself lower, kissing where her hip and thigh met. Yui shivered, feeling that his mouth was so close to where she wanted him.

She moaned his name rather incoherently and whined when he stopped and brought himself up, taking the leg he was holding up with him. He brought that leg over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" she asked breathless looking up at him with lust-glazed eyes. His own auburn eyes were dark with arousal, almost black gold in color.

"I'm making love to you," he said. He of course didn't answer her question completely, but his voice was throaty, filled with enough passion that made her spine shudder.

Tsukito lined himself up and slowly, very slowly, hanging onto her leg as a lever, entered her, causing her to give out a long drawn out sigh that sounded like an easy wind. He found himself breathing through his nose, rather than his mouth as he settled himself in, like a key finding the correct alignment for the lock.

He contorted, pulling her leg off his shoulder and laid himself on her, belly to belly and kissed her furiously. Yui wound her fingers into his hair, tugging at the longer strands of his lavender hair.

The heat was blazing but their movements were slow, sensual, the only sense of feeling tingling as their flesh rubbed together, both feeling the warmth they realized they both craved so much. In the back of her mind, Yui had a small desire to record all of this, for both pleasure and the reminder that her beloved husband could hold such raw emotion and passion.

His passion was beginning to be too much to handle. He couldn't sit still. His mouth was here, his hands there only for them to move over every inch of her body, his hips giving rather sporadic thrusts to get her to whimper. He was teasing her and Yui smirked at Tsukito's slight controlling side.

"Where…did you…learn…this?" she managed between breaths, drawing her hand down from his shoulder to his rather thin but sculpted chest, her fingers digging into the skin.

Tsukito paused his movements to answer, "Books…and some gentle prodding from some strange acquaintances."

"Oh? I should like to meet these acquaintances."

Tsukito shrugged, "I had proposed that they provided you with sexual gratification as a gift, but they weren't keen on the idea."

"Wait. What?"

Before Yui could get a clear answer, Tsukito leaned down and kissed the side of her neck under her ear, hands drawing down on her thighs to help wrapping them around his waist. Tsukito went on full force, no longer willing to draw out the teasing.

His thrusts only increased the burning ache deep in her womb. Tsukito bit his lip as she moaned quite lustfully, egging him on, encouraging him to go above and beyond the social norms. If those romance novels told Tsukito anything, sex could make the strictest citizen become filled with pleasure so perverse that it shattered boundaries of what was "proper."

Especially when it came to speech. He never thought to say anything during intercourse, but apparently, words of encouragement seemed to increase arousal ten-fold.

"Yui," he grunted before sitting himself up on his knees, grabbing her hips to piston in and out of her. "You're so wet."

Yui swallowed, unable to respond as her eyes fluttered shut as she tried to meet his increasingly erratic motions. The Barry White music was slowly drowned out by the sound of heavy breathing, skin slapping, and moaning. Tsukito reached down and gently cupped a full breast, squeezing lightly. Immediately, Yui grabbed onto his wrist, unable to reach any other part of his skin.

"Tsukito…faster…" she whimpered and her husband obeyed. Tsukito wanted to respond back, but his breath caught up in heated gasps. The pleasure was building deep, deep into his glans and spine and he felt his focus begin to fade, his body moving on its own accord.

Yui finally let out a strangled cry, chest heaving, and Tsukito followed her with equal fervor, releasing himself into her long and hard, like the spring wrapped around his spine broke apart, letting him free.

He felt like jelly afterwards, a peaceful sensation of an unrealized long awaited relief settling into every cell of his body. Tsukito swayed a little on his knees, still inside her, wondering if he was truly finished emptying himself inside her. Yui was the first to gather herself, her arms outstretched towards him.

"Come to me, husband," she said with a satisfied smile, her voice his own reward. Tsukito obeyed and rested in her arms with a muffled grunt.

After a small eon of silence, Yui thanked Tsukito, "That was one incredible birthday present. Thank you."

Her husband gave the barest of smiles, "It's my pleasure. I hope I've made up for all my faults."

Yui kissed his brow, feeling guilty for doubting him and getting angry with him, "If this is your way of making up for your faults, I sure hope to find more of them."

A/N: I, like, rewrote this a dozen times and this pathetically is the final product. Still R&R. I mean I hope there's at least ONE person out there who likes a sexy Tsukito.