Three years ago, on this day, I post the first chapter of Surrender in Blue. Now, I can say we at the end. :(

1 year later

Cas had Dean pushed up against the lockers. He cupped Dean's jaw, deepening the kiss.

Dean moaned and pulled at Cas' uniform. The locker room was empty. All other officers were either done for their shift or in Parade.

"Fuck, Cas," Dean panted, pulling back, just slightly. "You're going to be late."

"Don't care," Cas mumbled and pressed his lips against Dean's.

The older man pulled back and laughed. "I've corrupted you."

"We're on opposite shifts. I need to feel you."

"I don't know why, but that's sexy." Dean kissed Cas again and pulled away. Leaned down to grab his bag and smiled. "And I don't want you to be too late."

Cas pouted but walked with Dean out of the changeroom. "I'll miss you."

"I'll call when I'm getting ready for work."

"You better."

Dean laughed and wrapped his free arm around Cas. I love you."

"Love you too." Cas kissed one more time and let his husband go.

Cas and Dean didn't live together. After their conversation in the washroom, they decided to try again, but live separately and date. It was weird dating your husband and Cas felt like he was a teenager again. It helped though.

The first few months. Both had trouble adjusting to living on their own. The only times they didn't live together was when Dean went away and when Dean was shot. It's been eight months and it still wasn't easy. Dean didn't want to push Cas. So, all they did, Cas had first say. Until recently, Dean started deciding things for them.

When they were on opposite shifts, they didn't stay together. So, when they saw each other at work, it was a treat.

Dean's new place was very basic. Almost like their first place. If—when Cas let then live together, he wanted to go back to their place. He had to keep positive that they would make it.

"You're late, Novak," Crowley snapped when Cas walked into the room and sat by Chuck.

"Sorry, Sir," Cas apologize, but the older man just rolled his eyes.

"Sure, you are," Chuck muttered and nudged Cas' side.

The younger man just grinned and shrugged.

Things were a little awkward at work when Cas and Dean started working together again. Their co-workers didn't know what to do.

They not to worry, but they still found it weird. Until Kevin found them kissing in the locker room four months later.

Cas had to say that things were back to normal. It felt like when it would be back in the day if they were out. A few years late, but Cas would happily take it.

Dean still went to therapy, but not as much. Cas thinks he continued just because he liked Pamala.

Cas still had a hard time believing that Dean was getting help. That was also one of the reasons Cas gave Dean another chance. It had to be hard for Dean at first, but how he is still going, is showing how committed Dean is.

Cas was proud.

"You two are disgusting. If this was what you would have been like, I'm glad you saved us."

Cas laughed, earning a glare from Crowley. He was on the desk, what was the worst he could do? He was happy He saw Dean this morning. That was the only time they had together when they had morning and night.

He was in a good mood. Nothing Crowley could say would bring him down. Oh, shit! Booking. Yes. That could piss him off.

10 months ago

"This is so weird," Cas said as he shifted in his seat, looking around the café.

"Why?" Dean was picking at his muffin when Cas finally spoke. They were at the place Cas chose for their lunch, but the man barely said a word since they sat.

"This." Cas moved his hands around. "Being here, on a date with my husband."

Dean smiled and shrugged. "I guess. We agreed to try this."

"Yeah. Doesn't mean it doesn't feel stupid."

"Hannah said we just have to try this."

Cas rubbed his temples. "I know. It's just… I wanted this, but it if feels like we're back to the beginning."

Dean pursed lips and hummed. "We kind of are. It's only been two months."

"I know," Cas repeated and grabbed his coffee to keep him busy. "We did agree to this," he agreed.

"Do you want to do this?" Dean asked carefully, feeling like he has to be careful right now.

Cas looked down at the table and bit it. They've only been in therapy for almost two months and while he wasn't regretting trying again, it was having to tell Hannah all their dirt. Both had to be vulnerable. Dean already opened up so much during their talk and now he was willing to do it again proved how much he wanted this. Cas just didn't know if he wanted this. He kind of wanted to try without help. But, that won't be healthy

"I do. I want to this so badly. It's just… Admitting all of this. We both did things we're not proud of and now we have to share it with a basic stranger."

Dean chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "Basically, what I felt when I was talking with Pamela. Felt like she was judging me."

"I still can't believe you went," Cas sighed. He was glad but so confused.

"I want to say I went because I wanted to get better for us—that was the intent—but then I got the papers and I just went because I fucked my life up, so, may as well go all out. It helped."

Cas felt his heart clenched at the mention of the papers. That was a stupid idea on his part. He told Dean he regretted it and he did.

After that night, Dean went home for the first time in over a month and he felt like a stranger. It no longer felt like his and that made him realize how far Cas and he had fallen.

They had a long talk. They talked about where they stood now. They talked about if there was hope and what they could do about it. It was five when Cas and Dean fell asleep. Too tired to change, but they found themselves sleeping close together. Something they hadn't done in years.

A week later Dean moved into his own apartment. Cas didn't want people at work to know. Dean pointed out that they were going back to secrets. Cas said he didn't give a shit and people didn't need to know this part about them. Dean wanted to protest, but it was what Cas wanted. He agreed.

Shortly after, Dean found Hannah. As much as it should have been Dean to protest, it was Cas who made noise. He said they needed help, but like when Dean went, the reality was way different than when it was just a thought.

Dean took a sip of his coffee, looking around as placed his cup down. It was a coffee date. Hannah suggested to start out small, but even back then, they never did this shit. It was such a cliché date and just showed how out of it they were.

Cas was fiddling with his hands, needing something to do. It was weird. He literally wasn't this nervous on their first date. Now they were married and he felt like his heart was threatening to beat out of his chest.

"So… How is your apartment? Um, yeah."

Dean smirked and raised his eyebrows in question.

"Oh, fuck off," Cas growled with no heat. He was trying… To say something and Dean was showing it was irrelevant.

"We really are out of practice," Dean chose instead of an answer, and it was true.

"Obviously." Cas sighed. Why couldn't they fast forward through the hard parts?

"Anyway. It's good. I guess. Weird living on my own."

"I've had practice. Sorry," He muttered and pushed a hand through his hair. "Didn't mean that."

"Don't be. It's true." Dean shrugged and smiled slightly. It still felt so weird smiling at Cas. He didn't realize how much they stopped doing until they had to do them.

"Still, it won't help."

"No, but if it happens, it's normal. I mean, look at us."

Cas groaned and fought the urge to slam his head against the table. He's right and that's what made all of this so shitty.

"I know. It's not going happen so soon."

"I'd be concerned if it did," Dean tried to joke, but it fell flat. It was a reminder of how much he had fucked up and all the work they had left.

Cas let out a small chuckle and looked up at Dean. "You're right. We signed up for this." He gave his husband a softy simile, who returned the gesture. It was what he signed up for. What he was willing to fight for and if Dean was still here, talking him down, he was in for it too.

Present Day

They feel into a comfortable silence. Cas had his head rested on Dean's chest, hearing the soft thud of his heart. He loved these days. It was like old times, but in the present and he was so glad they were here.

They both fought and they were winning.

"Hey," Cas said, cutting through the silence.

"Yeah?"

"I have a question."

"Um. Okay. You scare me when you start off like that." The last time Cas asked him a question, it was to visit Lucifer with him. He went, of course. But it was an experience.

The past year had been hard. Dean knew some of the things Cas had asked were a test. At first, he thought he had to say yes or felt like he had to. Not that he never wanted to do those things. He did. Except for the Lucifer thing. However, that had only been last months and Dean could have said 'no'.

"Okay, this going to sound weird, but why didn't you go into Detective?"

"You're right. That is weird," Dean teased.

"Hey!" Cas slapped Dean on the shoulder as the older man laughed.

"Sorry. Why do you ask?" Detective wasn't something they touched about in years.

"Well, you never talked about it after you started working."

Dean frowned and stared at Cas' head. When he first wanted to be a cop, he wanted to become a detective. That thought never crossed his mind after he heard about UC. Maybe if he did do Detective, they wouldn't have been so far in the hole.

"Because I think you should do it."

"You do? But then I wouldn't be with you."

"You're right. We wouldn't drive together, but it's something you first wanted. Plus… You look good in a suit."

Dean laughed and squeezed Cas. "That's really your only reason. Isn't it?"

"Maybe," Cas drawled out and tipped his head took at Dean.

"You're crazy, Cas." Dean bent down to kiss Cas' hair. "Honestly, I don't know if I should. There's more schooling and-"

"Never stopped you before. Before you were so excited to start and then finally be a detective."

"Maybe I changed."

Cas let out a snort and rolled his eyes fondly. "What's the reason, Dean?"

Dean was silent for a moment. He was stroking Cas' back, but his mind was far off.

"Dean?"

The older man took a deep breath. "I'll miss driving. Being on the road and with you."

"But you always said you loved the behind the scenes when there was a case."

"I did. Didn't mean that I wanted to change."

"I know… Marv," Cas hesitated for a moment. They never talked about that day. It was painful for both. The thought of Dean dying on him was too much and it has only been a year.

Dean bit his lip and tightened his grip around Cas. He said nothing. He wanted to hear what Cas had to say. If Cas brought up Marv, there was a reason.

"That case really had you going back to your wish. You were looking into things that you probably weren't supposed to, but the was neat. It was like it was your case."

He thought about what Cas said. It was like his case and yet it was a memory he didn't want to revisit. It really put a lot into perspective. It was what made him realize he was just dragging Cas down. After the shooting, it basically left him with no argument.

"It did. Do you think I should try?" He wouldn't say he wasn't interested. It was just the idea of another change.

"I think you should. If you want to, but that my opinion." He would be lying if he said he said he didn't want to see Dean in a suit. That didn't mean he didn't think Dean could do it. He always thought Dean had it in him.

Dean smiled down at Cas and turned to face out the window. It was only the end of July, but it's already colder more than hot. It looked like it was about to rain all day, but nothing happened.

"You honestly think I could do it? Should do it?"

Cas hummed and sat up. He turned to face Dean who sat up as well, wearing a confused look. Cas laughed and shifted to lean against the armrest.

"I do. I'm probably making this sound like a big deal. Wanting to talk about it, but we haven't had these kinds of talks in years."

Dean nodded, he knew what Cas meant. They were shit at communicating, which was how the ended up here. Even in the year they spent building themselves up, they were more focused on finding the same page and staying on it. This is how the whole fiasco with Undercover happened.

"We haven't," Dean agreed and shifted to face Cas. "I won't lie and say I never thought about it in the past. It's just after I heard about Undercover, I wanted that more. Was the wrong chose."

Dean was still beating himself up overtaking Undercover. If he did Detective like he originally wanted, they probably wouldn't be here. Actually, it was a blend of John and UC. They probably would still be here, but not as bad. Dean wouldn't have had anything to hide if he went into Detective. Maybe he wouldn't have gotten shot. He wouldn't have been on the streets. Would Cas be the one?

"Dean," Cas smiled softly and tilted his chin up. "Stop thinking. It was a year ago. We are here now."

"Sorry."

"Stop it. You've apologized enough. You have to stop going back there. Pamela said it's not healthy. You have to accept that I forgive you and what happened, happened. You can't live in regret. I could be looking back on what I should have and didn't do."

"It's hard."

"I guess. But I love you. Isn't that enough to move on from the past?"

He knew Cas was right. He needed to move one. Sam has moved on from Gabe and his dad. He needed to. He hasn't seen him since that day and it has helped. It was like he got closure.

"I love you too." He moved forward and caught Cas' lips in a quick kiss. "I still don't deserve you."

"Dean!" Cas growled and pushed his husband back.

Dean laughed and sat back up. He used to say that to Cas back in the day and the younger man would always argue. Now, he liked to say because it always bugged Cas.

"You are such an ass."

Dean just smirked and shrugged. "I know. But seriously, should I try for Detective?"

"You know, I always thought that's what you wanted. After I started working, you never talked about it and I just didn't ask because I forgot. I want to say 'yes', but it's your choice. Won't say I wouldn't be excited. I always saw you as a detective."

"Sometimes it's hard to say 'no' to you."

"That's not an answer."

"Yes, it." Dean smiled as Cas rolled his eyes.

8 months ago

"You know, I know Hannah said we have to go to each others place, but can we stay at our—my place." Even though it's only been four months since Dean moved out, Cas still had a hard time referring to their place as his. It was still Dean's as well. He just now lived… Here. His place was like stepping back in time. It was cute, but it felt like they were going back. Or Cas did, which he realized was stupid. A place didn't represent what they were doing.

"Really?" Dean walked over to the couch were Cas stood by, as he looked around.

"I'm not saying this place sucks. I just feel weird sleeping here then go home. It's like the walk of shame."

"Well, I don't know about that. We're not having sex."

"Dean, be serious." Cas crossed his arms and let out a huff as he dropped down on the couch. He had to admit that Dean did furnish the place nicely. It was just weird being here with his husband and then going back to his place.

"I am. You're over thinking it Cas." Dean sat next to Cas, but kept as much distance as the couch would allow.

"I am not. How can you act like all of this normal?"

"Well, first of all, I'm not. I'm trying to act like I'm fine with this. There's a difference. I know this isn't normal, but it's what we have to do. Second, it's not easy for me when I stay over and then have to back to mine. We see each other at work, but you've only been here for six nights in the past few months. I've been over to yours for eight."

Cas cringed at the mention of 'his place'. That would never be normal.

"I know. I know. It's just weird when-" Cas cut off when he realized what he was about to let slip. He was ready for Dean to move back. He wanted it, but he couldn't. Hannah would be pissed. She would say he wasn't making progress. Also, Dean still had eight months on his rent.

"What is it, Cas?"

"Nothing. It's stupid. Hannah's right." He knew the mention of their therapist name would sway Dean's current thoughts. He hoped.

"If you're sure. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I'm not," Cas reassured and shifted to face Dean. "I'm good. You're right and Hannah's right. We need to this."

Dean didn't look convinced and his question was more proof. "You're not saying it because you think it's the right answer, right? You can disagree. Not everything Hannah say you have to be fine with. I didn't agree with Pamela at times. It's normal. It's fine. I don't expect you do everything she wants or what you think I want. You can fight me."

Cas was silent for a long while. Everything Dean said was true. It scared him that even after nine years of marriage, four years of that were Hell and four months of healing, Dean could still tell when he was lying.

"But I don't like it. We fought so much these past few years."

"We did," Dean agreed. "And will probably still. Everyone fights, Cas. But that was all we did last year, and it will happen again. Not like last time, but we will disagree on things. Hell, we did that when we were dating."

Cas knew Dean was right. They would fight. Maybe that was why he was so scared. All they did was fight before they finally pulled their shit together. He wanted them to be perfect, but that was unrealistic.

"Why do you always have to be right?"

Dean laughed and pulled Cas to his side and kissed his forehead. "I'm not. Most of the time it's you who is the sane one. If I listened to you, I wouldn't have gotten shot."

Cas bit back a snarky remark. It was Dean's go to when he was trying to prove a point like that one and it pissed him off. He never wanted to remember that day. It was one of the worst days of his life. The fight was hard but then Dean almost died.

"I told you to never mention that," He bit out as Dean tightened his grip.

"Sorry. Forgot. But, what I'm trying to say is that we will fight and not listen to each other. It's okay. The important part is that we make up."

Cas hummed and shifted so he was laid against Dean's shoulder. "I love you," he blurted out and amazed that he didn't care that he said it.

"Cas?" Dean's voice was quiet as if he wasn't sure if he heard properly.

He pulled back, still wrapped in Dean's arms. He laughed at his husband's face. "I do. I love you."

That wasn't Hannah's idea. They both decided to not say the words until they were ready to say them. For real this time. Now felt like the right time.

Dean bit his lip and was silent for a moment. Cas felt his heart rate rise as he waited. It felt like minutes but was probably only seconds.

"I love you, too," Dean whispered, acting like this wasn't new. He never pushed Cas and he wanted to say that he loved Cas for over a month now.

Cas leaned in and kissed Dean. Dean cupped Cas face and pulled the man against him. He deepened the kiss.

"Dean," Cas gasped out as Dean ran his tongue against his lips. He pushed Dean back so he was laid against the couch. He startled his husband's hips.

"Fuck, Cas," he panted when Cas moved against his lap. "I love you."

Cas moved his lips from Dean's neck and smirked. "Love you too."

Dean groaned when Cas moved his hips, brushing against crotch. "Cas," he gasped. "Wait."

Cas pulled back and frowned. "What? You don't-"

"No," Dean cut in quickly. "I do. But are you sure?"

"Dean, I'm practically begging you to fuck me. Of course, I want this."

Dean chuckled and kissed Cas quickly. It's been almost nine months since they slept together and to say Cas and Dean were far past ready would be an understatement. But they both agreed to wait until they were ready.

"You're going to be doing the walk of shame," Dean joked and pulled Cas back.

"Fuck that," Cas snapped before pulling at Dean's shirt.

Present day

"What was that about?" Dean asked and Charlie walked away after giving each a big hug.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Cas muttered as he watched the younger woman walk away.

"You don't think she—nah," he cut off. It was a stupid idea and most likely unrealistic.

"Care to share?" Cas smirked as he led the way to the squad room.

"I was just thinking that people… Know. About us."

"That is stupid," Cas teased and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Yeah, yeah. It's not a big deal."

"We didn't want people to know." Cas sat down at the desk across from him.

After they cancelled the divorce, they went back to secrecy. Well, kind of. They hid the divorce and the rebuilding of them. Cas wanted it and Dean just went along with it. Honestly, it would have been embarrassing.

"I know, but I feel like I slipped up or Jo said something to Charlie."

"Dean," Cas whispered and leaned over. The room was starting to fill and this was a conversation neither wanted anyone to hear. "I thought I was supposed to be the paranoid one."

"Ha, ha, ha," Dean mocked and rolled his eyes. "Cute."

"I also don't think Jo would say anything."

"You never know. She has been known for spilling secrets." He looked around and caught Kevin's eye. He grinned and waved.

"We didn't, but, maybe it wouldn't be bad if people find out. I'm not saying to let everyone know. That's private. But, how about we don't hide it if it actually comes up?"

In reality, he really didn't know why it bothered him if people knew about them. About what they went through. It was private. However, in this job, nothing stayed private for long. Crowley was proof and him spilling their darkest secret was bound to come out in one way or another. It should be shocking if people found out. And yet, he was the one suggesting for them to stop hiding. He was also the one who wanted to hide it.

"Honestly, it's bugging me. Can't we just be okay with whatever happens and just handle it. Look at us!" Cas grimaced at the level his voice took. "Sorry." He looked around to make sure no one heard.

"That's been us from the start," Dean joked. He wanted to reach out for Cas' hand, but he had a computer and a desk in the way.

"True," Cas agreed. "I'm the paranoid one and you aren't helping."

"Sorry?"

"We need to stop this."

"I agree, but they don't need to know what we've been doing."

"I'm not saying we need to make an announcement, but if it slips, it slips."

"Finally getting rid of all the secrets?" Dean joked and laughed at Cas' eye roll.

"Fuck off, yes."

Dean smiled fondly at his husband. It was always fine getting him riled up.

"I love you."

Cas just scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, love you too."

Dean laughed and fought the urge to walk around to Cas and hug him. They were at work and had to be professional.

"Would you two stop being gross," Victor groaned in mock annoyance.

"Fuck off, Victor," Cas sighed. Ever since they came clean, it was one joke after another.

Victor laughed hard a turned to face the two. "We always thought you were rubbing off of Cas because of all the time you spent together. This so is much better."

Cas groaned and bit back the urge to cuss out the older man. That was one of the unoriginal jokes going around. Cas changing because he's basically with Dean all day, every day.

Victor just laughed again and walked away.

5 months ago

"Fuck," Dean gasped as his back hit the wall. He barely caught his breath before Cas pressed up against him.

"You looked hot today. Well, you always look good." Cas pulled down for a deep kiss, pushing against the man when he wrapped his arm around Cas

"Do not see yourself?" Dean teased when he pulled back, moving his hands to cup Cas' face.

Cas rolled his eyes and pulled Dean back. "Quiet being sentimental and fuck me."

Dean just smiled and pushed Cas down the hall. Cas tugged his shirt off and unzipped his pants.

"Eager?"

Cas glared and grabbed Dean t-shirt and pulled it over his head. "You've been teasing me all day and I'm done waiting."

"Okay."

Dean pulled them closer and took Cas' mouth in a desperate kiss.

"Fuck," Cas gasped as he pulled. He never had trouble getting hard with Dean and one day he'd be embarrassed about that.

He pushed his pants and boxers in one motion. Usually, they would take their time, but right now, Cas was done waiting and by Dean blown out eyes, he was close too.

He grabbed Dean's waistband and pulled him against him. He bit his lip when his cock brushed against Dean clothed one.

Dean unzipped his zipper of his jeans and pushed them down. He walked Cas to the bed and chuckled when Cas bounced.

Dean crawled over Cas, trailing kisses up his chest. He pressed his lips to Cas' throat, sucking hard, pulling a whine from his husband.

Cas moaned softly. He moved his hand to touch his cock, but Dean gripped his hand.

"Don't touch."

"Then do something. I'm not above begging if you're not going to move this along."

Dean pulled back and smiled. "You're so up for it." He reached for the nightstand and pulled the drawer open.

Cas grabbed the bottle of lube form Dean and held it by his head, away from Dean's reach. Well, he could get it easily, but let him think he had the upper hand.

"If you don't hurry, I'm taking control."

Dean felt his cock twitch. He loved when Cas took control, making him lay there as his husband fucked himself on him. He took the bottle back and grinned.

He was tempted to agree. Actually, he wanted that.

"Have at it, babe." He handed the lube to a glaring Cas and flipped them over.

"You're unbelievable." His words were heated, but he was smiling. Yeah, he did like when Dean let him set the pace.

Present day

"Hey, Cas?" Dean called as he entered into Cas'—their, Cas home? He really didn't know what to call it. It was theirs, but he was referring it as Cas'. He was paying the bills.

Though, he was spending more time here than his place. He was tempted to ask Cas if he was ready, but it wasn't his move to make. Cas and he had agreed with Hannah what was Cas' and what Dean was in charge of. Cas had put up a fight when Dean had agreed, but after a long talk after they left Hannah's, Cas had agreed. Reluctantly though.

"In here," Cas called from the kitchen.

Dean dropped his keys in the bowl on the side table before making his way to Cas.

"Hey," Dean greeted again and moved to the counter, leaning against the granite by Cas.

Cas finished loading the dishwasher before pulling Dean in for a hug. "Welcome back," he joked as he stretched up to peck Dean's lips. "How was Sam?"

"He's good. Bobby asked about you. I think he thinks I'm going back to not inviting you."

Cas rolled his eyes and stepped back, leaning against the countertop like Dean. "You told him I had work, right?"

"I did, but I think he was still a little hesitant. He'll come around."

"He better. He needs to believe you changed."

"I did give him a reason to not believe me."

"A year ago. If I'm here, he should realize you have changed."

"Thanks, Cas." It always warmed his heart and made him know that he was doing things right when Cas praised or agreed.

"Was Jamie there?"

"He was."

"Wow," Cas said in shock. "Big step for Sam."

Dean nodded and smiled. "I'm proud of him. It took him nearly three months to introduce him to us. And now he took him to Bobby's twice. I think he's taking it slowly. He deserves it. Though. Sorry," he apologized when he realized what he said. "I know Gabe's your brother."

"I'm not mad. Sam does deserve this. Gabe was an ass and I still don't get why he did that. How he did that just proves he's not meant for Sam."

Dean agreed, but he wasn't about to vocalize it. He did have more ideas about Gabe, but that wouldn't be fair to Cas if he vented.

"Dean?" Cas said, planning on changing the subject.

Dean was staring at his feet before looking up at Cas. He cocked his hip, bracing against the counter.

"Yeah? Is everything alright?" he asked, staring down at Cas hands. They were playing with themselves. He was nervous.

"Everything's fine, Dean." The younger man smiled. He wrapped his arms around Dean's waist.

"Mmm," Dean hummed and pressed closer. This was nice. It felt so normal. No hesitation.

He loved this. They had a long and very rough road in front of them, but they were making their way through the past.

Dean still had his own place and Cas was missing him every night. He did stay at Dean's, but he liked it here with Dean. Their original home. It did house bad memories, but it was a place that was their growth, downfall and the rebuilding. But, if they were trying to start fresh, they should move.

Cas was actually going ask him to move back in. Dean still had a few weeks left on his leas, but Cas was ready to ask Dean to leave his home behind and come back to their home.

He missed not waking up to Dean every day. In the past couple of months, Dean practically moved in, but it still wasn't the same.

"Dean?"

"Hmm?" Dean mumbled into Cas' neck.

The younger man laughed and pulled away. Dean let go and stepped back.

Cas grabbed Dean's hand, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles.

"I want to ask you something? It's not bad."

"Okay."

Cas took a deep breath. Even more than ten years together, he still found himself loss himself. It wasn't pretty. "I want you to move back in." Okay. Not a question.

Dean blinked. Okay, this was going to be very hard. He was already feeling his heart rate pick up.

"Are you serious?"

Cas bit his lip and nodded. "I know your leas doesn't end for a couple of weeks, but when it's done, I want you back here. Don't renew it."

Dean couldn't help the wide smile spreading over his face. This was what he wanted. What he hoped for. But he never pushed Cas. He always let Cas do the deciding. The past couple of months though, they became equals in the relationship.

"Okay," Dean smiled and walked over to Cas.

1 month later

Dean walked out of their room and to the living room, dropping down on the couch.

"Shit," Cas gasped, clutching his book to his chest. Don't scare me like that."

"Um, I do live here and it's not my fault you were too distracted by your book. What are you reading?"

"Yeah, now I'm wondering why I asked you to move back." He closed his book and placed on the floor. Dean was leaning against the armrest and Cas took up most of the couch.

"Aww, don't be like that." Dean pouted and was glad Cas was too far to touch him. "You know," he said again, grabbing Cas attention, "in under a month, it'll be ten years."

"Crazy. And back then, we thought we wouldn't even make it to nine."

"I honestly thought you were going to say you couldn't do it anymore. I thought that for months."

Cas smiled sadly and shifted so

was crossed-legged across from Dean. "Dean, remember, we talked about this. I was just at fault. I had as much to fight for. And we made it. It's been over a year and I think we are doing fine."

Dean took Cas' hands and held them in his husband's lap. "We did. And I'm so happy we tried. You let us try again."

"Yeah, well, as I said when you cornered me in the washroom, be selfish. I wanted you to choose for us and I don't regret it." He leaned over to kiss Dean softly. "And I wanted to say we made it to ten years," He teased and nipped Dean's lip.

"Smartass."

Cas moved back, sitting against the armrest on his side, giving Dean room to kick his legs up.

"Actually, I'm proud of us. I know that sounds so pretentious, but-"

"Big word," Cas interrupted with a grin.

"Shut it Cas. I'm trying to be nice." He cracked a smile, not able to stay mad in this moment. And he knew Cas was joking. It was like years ago when they were like that.

"Sorry."

"Anyway," Dean dragged out, causing Cas to chuckle. "I just want to say that I'm so glad we are here now. With all the hard work we put in. It wasn't easy."

"It wasn't," Cas agreed. The first couple of months were the hardest and now they came out of it on top just showed how strong they were.

"I never stopped loving you. Even when I didn't show it."

"I know. I did too. Sorry. I'll stop interrupting."

"Thanks." Dean grabbed Cas' hands again and rubbed his thumb over the man's knuckles. He was sure Cas could feel his palms sweating. He didn't know why he was nervous telling Cas this. He basically told Pamela everything. Cas was his husband.

Cas watched Dean, who looked like he was having an inner battle. "Dean-?"

"I'm fine, Cas. Sorry. I just wanted to say I love you and I am so happy we are here. That you let us try again. We beat the odds and now here we are. And I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay?" Cas dragged out.

"Years ago, I asked you a question, but it wasn't right."

Dean kneeled down in front of Cas, one leg behind him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out Cas' wedding ring.

"Dean…"

Dean didn't let Cas finish. "Now I want it to be right. Castiel," he paused for a second, taking a deep breath. This was right. "Will you marry me?"

Holy shit! I can't believe we are now here. I never thought it would be this long! Thank you, everyone, who has been here since the beginning, and the ones who decided to give this story a chance! You are all amazing and I can't thank you enough for all you love and support!

I can't tell you how close the other ending was going to be the original. I almost tossed a coin, but I decided to ask my friend. She said the other one and I realized that you all suffered enough, so I decided on this one.

I am posting the alternate ending and you can decide which one you like.

It will be under Too Late to Say Sorry