Part IV

Nervously, Tauriel followed Kíli inside the house, trying to calm her stomach that had started rolling at the thought what this night might bring, whether coming here had been one of her better choices in life or one of the worst.

Looking at him from behind, she thought that, yes, he had changed in those five decades since she had left him sleeping atop a small hill far away from here, on the other side of the Misty Mountains, but he still looked young, much younger than she had expected him to. His shoulders had grown a little wider and his beard had become a little more substantial, but only slightly so. In comparison to the spectacular beards that some of his kin wore proudly, his was still merely a stubble. Tauriel wondered whether this came naturally to him or whether he maybe kept it short deliberately, and not for the first time she found herself guessing at the significance that beards were endowed with amongst his kin. She had never quite figured that out.

Either way, she had been shocked when she had first laid eyes upon him and had found him less changed than she had told herself he would be, his dark eyes and wry smile still making her feel all those things she had thought she would not feel anymore after such a long time.

Stepping over the threshold to his home, she felt her heart beat in anticipation, the act strangely intimate to her. The interior of the house was comfortable, but rather basic. Nevertheless, Tauriel felt an immediate sense of warmth envelop her, stemming from more than merely the fire that was burning in a large crate at the center of the small house.

Sending a brief smile into her direction, Kíli headed off to what Tauriel could only presume was the kitchen because seconds later she could hear the distinct clatter of dishes. Shrugging out of her coat, she sat down on a bench close to the fire and stretched out her limbs, reveling in the way the warmth of the fire seeped into her chilled bones.

She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to relax, to calm her thoughts. She had known that coming here to see him would be hard, that they would not be able to act as if nothing had ever happened, as if no time had passed. Still, the tension was taking its toll on her and she knew that for now they were only postponing things that would have to be brought up sooner or later.

Opening her eyes again, she saw Kíli standing opposite her with two bowls of stew in his hands, looking at her with such an intense expression on his face that her heart sped up again immediately. Smiling shyly, she scooted over on the bench, making room for him. He sat down next to her and handed her one of the bowls, its heat warming her fingers that were still slightly numb from the cold.

They ate in silence and while Tauriel actually found herself rather enjoying the taste of his cooking, with every spoon she found it harder to continue eating, her stomach tying itself up in knots. She was relieved when he finally set his own bowl aside. Apparently his appetite was not that great either.

Placing her dish on the floor, she turned sideways on the narrow bench and leaned against the wall next to the fireplace. For a few seconds she allowed herself to enjoy looking at him in the light cast by the flames, his face looking even younger now than it had before, outside in the cold light of the moon. He turned towards her as well and for a while they both sat there, just looking at each other.

When Tauriel began to feel rather self-conscious, she sat up and dropped her gaze, trying to find something else to look at except for his unsettlingly handsome face. Her gaze caught upon a flat stone he wore on a string of leather around his neck. It was not the stone she had touched so many years ago, no, she would not forget that one. Not so much because it had, in itself, been in any way remarkable to her, but rather because the memories she connected with it were amongst her most treasured ones.

Without thinking, she reached out and brushed her fingers against the stone resting against his chest, the warmth radiating off his body nearly making her breath hitch in her throat. She felt him stiffen slightly, but he did not pull away. Lifting her eyes back to his, she saw a curious mixture of emotions in his gaze, most of which she could not place. "Another token?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He smiled a strange little smile. "Something like that, yes." He fell silent, but she could tell that there was more to it. After a few seconds he continued, speaking slowly, hesitantly. "It was a gift," he said, "from my wife."

Tauriel withdrew her hand as if she had been burned, the delicate bubbles of hope that had begun rising inside her soul because of the way that he had looked at her before, bursting all at once. Making to rise from her seat to put some distance between them, she began to stammer. "I- I'm sorry. I did not mean to- I mean, I should not have assumed…"

She was interrupted by his hand wrapping itself around her wrist, firmly pulling her back down beside him. "She died," he said. "Almost ten years ago."

Settling back next to him on the bench, she made an effort to calm herself, trying to process this situation. "I'm so sorry," she again said in a low voice, unable to meet his gaze. Really, what had she expected? That he would spend his life alone, pining for her, even though his time in this world was limited? And, more importantly, would she have wanted him to remain alone, miserable?"

Despite the fact that she showed no inclination of moving away anymore, Kíli still kept his hand wrapped around hers, loosening his grip only to entwine his fingers with hers, lightly. When he continued to speak, she kept her gaze fixed on their hands, completely overwhelmed with the whole situation.

"You would have liked her," he said and she could tell from his voice that he was smiling. "She never listened to anything anybody told her to do, always followed her own head. Stubborn and reckless people called her – even more so than me." That provoked a small smile from Tauriel and she turned her head slightly to look at him. The smile on his face remained, but turned a little sadder when he added, "Unfortunately those excellent qualities were what killed her in the end." Tauriel questioningly raised one of her eyebrows. "An accident," he explained and she nodded, not really wanting to force him to elaborate any further.

"So you have been living here on your own ever since?" she asked, finding herself looking for any sign whether the house might have any other inhabitants.

As if reading her thoughts, Kíli said, "Our marriage was childless. So yes, I have been on my own for those last couple of years. Except for those times when my brother comes to visit."

Tauriel bit her lip, not really knowing whether the fact that his marriage had never been blessed with a child made her happy or sad. "Why did you not return to Erebor?" she asked, trying to find a more neutral topic for conversation.

He leaned his head against the wall and turned his head to stare into the flames for a few moments. "It simply isn't the right place for me anymore," he answered. "Never quite has been. Too much has happened to estrange me from that original quest. The Lonely Mountain … it holds too many painful memories."

He looked at her and she felt herself quiver beneath his gaze. It seemed that they simply could not find a topic of conversation that was not loaded with tension. Taking a deep breath, she scooted a little closer to him.

"If time could be rewound…" she whispered, but he shook his head.

"We would still be making the same decisions," he said, his eyes gentle. "And who could blame us? Who would have the strength to stand up to what we would have had to face?"

Tauriel felt tears burn in her eyes at the realization that he spoke the truth. The last fifty years had been filled with a fair amount of pain and regret, but, given the choice, their younger selves would, sadly, choose the same path again. Kíli, too, leaned in a little further towards her when he noticed the tears beginning to rise in her eyes, his hand squeezing her's more tightly. His face was now impossibly close.

"And today?" she said, her voice shaky. "Would you say that the circumstances have changed since?"

"No," he breathed. "But I find myself not really caring about that. And I think that neither do you – you being here is the best proof of that."

She blushed a little beneath his gaze. Summoning all her courage, she whispered, "I have an even better proof for you." And with that she leaned in, closing the few inches between them, and pressed her lips to his.

For a split second neither of them moved, both of them shocked at the spark that this very chaste kiss sent coursing through their bodies. Recovering from his initial stupor, Kíli sighed against her lips and reached out to pull her more firmly against him, deepening their kiss. One of his hands wrapped around the back of her neck and the other around her waist she molded herself against him, the feeling of his lips on hers almost too much for her.

When he suddenly broke their kiss, she blinked a couple of times, completely disoriented. "Your clothes are all wet," he muttered, his hand pressing against her waist more firmly.

Her muddled brain took a moment to process his words and once it did, she smiled a little sheepishly. "The snow…" she attempted to explain, unable to form a coherent sentence. She had somehow forgotten about the state of her clothes since she had arrived and only now did she become aware of the wet cloth clinging to her skin. The cold could not really hurt her, but it was quite uncomfortable. Biting her lower lip she looked at him. "Help me remove them?"

She could see his eyes widen in surprise and quickly a grin spread across his face. It took all of her willpower not to avert her gaze, her own boldness almost too much for her to bear. But then again, they had already wasted half a century of their time together, why would they dance around each other now?

Rising from the bench, Kíli gave a little mock-bow, extending his hand to her. "Follow me, milady."

She chuckled lowly and put her hand in his, more than happy to obey his command.

Looking out of his window, Kíli watched the thick snowflakes drift by outside. The fire in his living room had long died, but despite that fact he did not feel cold. How could he have with Tauriel's warm body pressed against his beneath the blankets, her head resting lightly on his chest.

He turned his head and buried his face in her lovely auburn hair, inhaling her scent. His body felt tired, most of his energy spent, but when she ran her hand across his upper body, his heart sped up once again. He wrapped his hand around her wrist before her hand could travel any lower. Rolling onto his side, he rested his head right next to hers on his pillow, their foreheads almost touching.

He simply looked at her for a long moment until she began to grow uneasy under his gaze. "What is it?" she asked, smiling a little self-consciously.

"I know it probably does not mean much to you if I say this because you have often heard it, but you really are breathtakingly beautiful," he said, watching a slight tinge of color rise in her perfect cheeks.

Putting her palm against the side of his neck, she gently caressed his cheek with her thumb. "It does mean a lot to hear it from you. To be close enough to you for me to hear it."

He smiled and turned his face into her palm, kissing it lightly. For a few minutes they just lay there, content to look at each other. Slowly, Kíli could feel his eyelids grow heavy from the comfortable warmth enveloping him and the gentle, regular strokes of her thumb against his skin.

"You should sleep," she whispered.

He put a hand over hers, squeezing it. "Will you still be here when I wake up?" he asked her, trying to keep any insecurity out of his voice, but not entirely managing to do so.

She leaned in to kiss him lightly on the lips. "I will. That is a promise." She hesitated and bit her lip, a gesture he had come to associate with her being slightly nervous. "In fact, I thought that it might be unwise to depart too soon, now that winter seems to have fully arrived."

She looked at him a little uncertainly, obviously trying to gauge his reaction. He tried to give her a calm smile while, truth be told, he was feeling slightly lightheaded with happiness at her indirect suggestion. "Absolutely," he replied, trying to keep his voice matter-of-factly. "The winters around here can be rather harsh. You should at least stay until the worst part is over, possibly even until the snow begins to melt."

"Until the snow begins to melt," she repeated. The grinned at each other like fools – happy fools, though.

Tugging her towards him, Kíli pressed a lingering kiss against her lips before rolling onto his back once more, pulling her with him so that her head came to rest on his chest again.

Sighing contently, he soon felt himself drift off to sleep. "Until the snow begins to melt," he muttered again before finally closing his eyes, his face buried in her hair.

Every year that they spent together, on the first day of snow, Kíli and Tauriel, the dwarf and the elf who had eventually found themselves after they had each thought the other lost to them more than once, would share this private joke that she would only stay until the snow would begin to melt. And, of course, each and every year she would still be at his side when spring finally came, and they would watch the world around them come alive again after a long, hard winter.

The End.

Thank you everyone who took the time to read and review. Your support means everything. I hope you all enjoyed reading this little fic! Keep looking out for the sequel of my longer Kiliel story, "Only the Stars Were Watching," which will go online sometime within the next couple of weeks.