*sung to the tune of Animaniacs*

Look out, it's Brand the maniac
And he's crazy to the max
Don't just sit back and relax,
Or the Pattern will collapse
It's Brand the maniac

Come join the royal Amberites, they're quite a lively lot
Julian's rather stone-faced, while Llewella's lookin' hot
Benedict's the genius, Gerard's the local jock,
And Caine's hacked up his Shadow twin and left him there to rot

It's Brand the maniac
His sanity ain't intact
His heart's twisted and black
Fiona stabbed him in the back
It's Brand the maniac

Eric's pushing daisies, Flora likes to stay in bed (har har!)
Ratty Random's destined for a crown upon his head
Corwin just loves Deirdre, Bleys likes to dress in red
For once they're all together 'cause they all wish Brand was dead

It's Brand the maniac
With Amber's armies on his back
Watch him cop all the flak
'Cause they won't cut him any slack
It's Brand the manie--
Totally insanie--
Just got shot by Cainie--
Brand the maniiieee-aaaac! Those are the facts!