*bows* I apologize for my lack of updates or writing. This is my new story, but don't worry Why Me is going to be updated very soon. I hope you all enjoy. This story is yet another SebastianX Ciel story. There will be a lot of hurt and comfort in chapters to come. If you dont like the pairing then dont read it, its that simple. Kuroshitsuji does not belong to me obviously but to the amazing and inspiring Yanna Toboso. Enjoy~

Chapter 1: through the Looking Glass

Tick tock tick tock tic tock

Ciel could hear the annoying grandfather clock chime away by the second as he sat over his innately carved mahogany desk to look at his paper work. It had been only weeks since the last kidnapping and he was starting to wonder why they even attempted the feat anymore. He had a demon at his side, though he would never confess that out loud. The Young Earl ran his slender fingers over the blue wax seal that adorned the envelope in front of him. It was about the company he was sure but his mind was starting to go numb from all the work that had been piling up the last few weeks, letters from the Queen, Phuntom notices, and letters from Elizabeth. He honestly didn't read much of the latter but he did skim every once and a while and found that his arranged fiancée was traveling over seas for a long period of time and would not be back till the spring. The fifteen year old ran his fingers through his greyish blue locks in exhaustion. It had not been a hair color that had not been predicted since only his father seemed to share the unique color. Then again his family had been far from normal especially when your Aunt was labeled as Jack the Ripper or at least an accomplice. He pushed the paperwork aside almost feeling queasy as he looked at the intricate calligraphy written on numerous pieces of parchment.

He leaned back in his chair and took a steady breath. He was only a kid, yet he had the intellect of an adult and the workload of one. He had been forced to grow up so quickly that he barely knew how to smile genuinely anymore, which was a depressing truth to anyone. The young boy didn't think about his butler much at least not in the way he was at the moment. He had Sebastian around for five years already and though he was a demon Ciel felt an uncanny protection and warmth. He detested his servant's smirks and snide comments, yet he thought they were showing a side to the demon that Ciel rarely saw, concern, though well hidden. Ciel leaned back in his chair again only to feel even more conflicted then before. He had his revenge and Sebastian still but he began to wonder if that's what he actually wanted in the first place. His parents were gone and though there were servants roaming the mansion he could not shake the feeling of loneliness. It was grabbing him and pulling him down under an invisible water line, drowning out his breaths and leaving him weak at the bottom.

I wish I could ask him. I wish he really did care about me. I cant live without him.

The young Earl's heart sank into his chest. He knew Sebastian would laugh at him or manipulate him if he told the truth. He closed his eyes sadly picturing what it would be like to be able to stay at Sebastian's side, to be like him. He flushed at his mental image of himself as a demon, changed by his butler because he wanted him to stay by his side. He shook his head and opened his eyes again.

It's not possible nor is it probable. Demons do not love, demons do not feel, and demons do not care.

A small breath passed the boy's lips. All he truly wanted was Sebastian to like him. He knew he failed every time he tried to express his feelings. He could only make it worse and no matter how hard he tried nothing unexpected came out of it. It usually ended with his butler bowing in respect and apologizing for a previous statement that did not anger Ciel at all. It was like a ticking time bomb. Ciel would sit there and prepare what he wanted to say, yet, something would shut his attempt down and he would end up frowning and yelling by the time it was over. He would never be able to tell Sebastian and truth no matter how easy it was to just say it. In a frantic attempt Ciel's fingers found his quill. He began to write on a blank piece of parchment, running his fingers through the soft feather in contemplation. He pieced each word together like a tapestry. If he could not tell Sebastian how he felt maybe he could write how he felt.

Ciel put his quill to the paper before he heard an odd noise, no doubt his incompetent servants destroying the manor yet again. The Earl of Phantomhive rolled his eyes in annoyance. The sound of shattering glass rang through the room as one of the antique mirrors on the far wall exploded. Ciel ducked under his desk quickly and looked up from a room-scattered with shards of sparkling glass. He slowly stood up and straightened himself as he walked to the mirror for a thorough inspection. The boy tapped his chin lightly in confusion "why ever did this just explode?" It took a moment for Ciel to realize that what was behind the remains of antique frame was a not solid. He raised an eyebrow in curiosity. In all his years he had never once witnessed anything like this, it was like something out of a HG Wells novel. It was like staring into liquid silver, something that appeared solid but was clearly a liquid. Ciel curiously reached his fingers through the phenomena, his fingers tingling at the foreign sensation. He pulled his hand back quickly and examined his fingers. He had expected some kind of residue but that was not the case. He felt odd and before long he was dizzy. He slowly staggered back to see a reflection of himself in the mirror. Ciel shook his head in a daze the reflection was distorted. He looked more timid and shy. He did not wear an eye patch but the defining features were the cat like. He had fangs like a kitten, blue grey cat ears and tail. A black collar dangled from around his neck, a silver medallion from that. It was Sebastian's contract symbol.

He watched the image become clearer before blackness took him. It crashed over him like a rolling wave. His body dropped to the floor like lead and left him breathless and then….

...

Nothing.

Hope you enjoyed it, more to come soon. Please comment it's one of things that motivates me to continue these stories. If you like it let me know and if you would like to see more chapters.

Thank you everyone,

~Ciel Phantomhive