I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In

A newly undaggered Kol recruits Rebekah to teach him about the twenty first century but Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey and Taylor Swift were the last thing he had in mind.

"Nik, what does LOL mean?"

"Ask Elijah."

"Elijah? What does LOL mean?"

"Ask Rebekah."

"Rebekah-"

"For God's sake Kol, it means 'Laugh Out Loud." Rebekah yelled. They'd hardly been undaggered for more than a week and she was already growing tired of the sound of Kol's voice.

"What about YOLO?" Kol demanded.

"You Only Live Once." Rebekah said through her teeth.

Kol snorted. "Well that's completely irrelevant to me. Okay, what about ASL?"

"Age, sex, locat- Kol. What kind of websites have you been going on?" Rebekah questioned incredulously, seriously considering smothering herself with one of the pillows on her bed just so she didn't have to listen to Kol.

"Something called Omegle. Most people stop talking to me because I don't understand these stupid acronyms." Kol told her, quite serious. "And when they don't use them and just ask outright for my age, they call me a troll and disconnect when I answer. What's a troll?"

"Why do you keep asking me these questions?"

"Because, you seem to have adapted to the modern world with apparent ease and I don't understand any of this." Kol sat down on the bed, completely ignoring social tact and leaving only a minute amount of space between him and Rebekah, following her as she tried to edge away. "Teach me."

"Teach you what? And get away from me for God's sake." She shoved him away, though it didn't deter him from whatever mission he was on.

"About the twenty first century. What does these stupid smiley face symbols on my phone mean? What's Facebook? What music are people listening too? What are they reading?"

Rebekah closed her eyes for a second.

So. Many. Questions.

She took a deep breath before opening them again and smiling at her brother.

"Okay." She nodded. "I'll teach you."

Kol grinned like a little child. "Brilliant! Can you stay by telling me about these emo-cons?"

"No, how about you have a look at this." She insisted, refusing to correct the mispronunciation of emoticons and instead grabbing a book from her bookshelf. "It's a modern day vampire novel!"

"Twilight?" Kol took the book from her, looking down at the cover and then back up at his sister, who nodded with enthusiasm.

"Go read, Kol." She said, shoving him out of the room.

Kol looked up from Breaking Dawn - he'd grown bored with Twilight and just decided to skip to the end of the series - to meet his brother's eyes.

"Nik, please do us the favour of never knocking a girl up. I would hate to see what kind of vampire-werewolf-hybrid demon spawn you'd manage to create." Kol yelled across the room, apparently forgetting that his brother was only a few feet away.

"I don't think you have to worry about that."

Rebekah leaned behind Kol, propping her arms up on the back of his chair. "You know, for all Nik's numerous faults and homicidal tendencies, he is quite cute..." Her words trailed off as both Kol and Rebekah narrowed their eyes in Klaus' direction, their heads tilted slightly to the side as they both tried to picture a baby Klaus.

Rebekah's mental image of Baby-Klaus was something along the lines of Renesmee, but with blonde hair and dimples, while Kol was picturing more of a rabid dog with Klaus' curls.

"Will you two, please, stop staring." The hybrid glared back and both of them turned away, with Kol slamming the stupid book shut.

"I'm sick of this Bekah. I'm still hung up on the fact that these vampires sparkle, and Edward's complex with being a vampire. If I were him, I'd just kill Bella - let's face it, she's not that interesting." Kol declared, shoving Breaking Dawn back at her. "Whatever happened to the good literature? Give me something else."

Rebekah disappeared and reappeared in a flash, holding another book, this time with a grey cover that depicted handcuffs on the front. "Perhaps you'll prefer this one." She mused as she handed him the first book in the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy.

"Rebekah! Why the hell am I reading that stupid Twilight book against, just with different characters and no vampires?" Kol demanded, his cry of dissatisfaction echoing throughout the house.

Rebekah hardly looked up from where she was sprawled on her bed, scrolling through her Facebook account.

"Because it's all about sex and I know that's all you think about!" She yelled back.

"You're the strumpet in this house, sister, not me!" Kol hollered. "I prefer my women with more experience anyway!"

"Only because you have none!"

Despite the fact that Kol Mikaelson did spend a lot of time thinking about sex, Fifty Shades of Grey didn't hold his attention as long as any of his siblings might have expected it to.

"You can have this back." He tossed the book onto Rebekah's bed, pretending not to notice the bad condition - dog eared pages and the occasional tear in the paper here and there - that Rebekah looked completely horrified at. "Oh come on, it's practically looks the same."

"Kol!"

"The point is, it's boring. I'd much prefer going out to find a woman of my own to do questionable things with and leave in an alleyway in the morning."

"You're awful." Rebekah's expression was one of horror, but Kol wasn't buying it.

"You do the same thing all the time!"

"Yes, but at least I have the decency to get rid of the body, rather than leaving it for anyone to find." She accused.

Kol shrugged. "If someone finds the first body while I'm still around, then I get to kill them too. It's my idea of a good night out."

Rebekah got up and placed the slightly tattered book back into her bookshelf. "Well it's not mine."

"Then what's your idea of a good night out, sister?" Kol asked, the expression on his face holding up a semblance on innocence, but it wasn't fooling anyone. "Sleeping around with commoners and not killing them? Totally boring."

Rebekah ignored the judgement of the sentence. "Not that, but you're going to find out. I got us tickets to a concert tonight."

Kol looked immensely relieved. "Oh thank god." There was no way that music could be worse than the books that Rebekah had been making him read.

Klaus had been in the sitting room sketching when he heard Rebekah's car pull up in the driveway, the brakes screeching a little too much, like she'd been going too fast.

He glanced up in confusion as the two of them stumbled through the door.

"The concert doesn't finish for an hour. What are you doing home?"

He watched as Kol glanced at Rebekah, and Rebekah glared at Kol. The corner of his brother's lips turned up ever so slightly, and lines creased on Rebekah's forehead as she frowned and Klaus tilted his head to the side as he watched the display, before Kol finally turned back to him.

"I may have killed Taylor Swift."

No one expected Elijah's yell throughout the house, "You KILLED Taylor Swift?", followed by the sound of a whoosh as a deadly storm-in-a-suit approached Kol with a murderous expression on his face.

"You're in for some trouble, little brother." Klaus smirked. "Elijah dictates all of his romantic relationships by those lyrics." As Elijah proceeded to pummel his brother, Klaus whispered out of the corner of his mouth to Rebekah, "What song was it that broke him?"

"Love Story." She replied. "Something about how the greatness of Romeo and Juliet shouldn't be defiled by a pop singer."

This is just a random crack-fic idea that came into my head based on a conversation my friend and I had once, about the Originals adapting to modern day culture. Don't ask my why I wrote this haha, but I hope you got a laugh out of it.