21

"Chapter 21…" Tris reads. Instead of going on, however, she pauses for a bit and just stares at the book.

"What are you waiting for?" Lynn snaps.

"Just going to see how long it is." She flips through the pages until she finally finds the end of the chapter.

"This is going to take forever!" whines Zeke.

"You're telling me," Uriah says exasperatedly. "Especially at the pace we've been reading it. It could take years for us to finish."

"It'll certainly feel like years with you guys interrupting all the time" Will quips.

Zeke and Uriah gape at Will. Damn. I gotta give it to him, that was pretty sweet. I had honestly started to forget he was even there to be honest. I feel a sudden sense of warmth towards Will.

"I'm not reading all of this" Tris says decisively. "Uriah can read when I'm done."

"But Triiiisssss," Uriah whines "I'm going to have to read chapter 23."

"Too bad," when Uriah starts to pout, she adds, "besides, you keep on talking about how long the breaks are"

"Yeah, that's true," Uriah says, nodding.

"Are we gonna read any time soon?" Lynn asks harshly. She seems kind of touchy lately.

"Alright, princess," Tris says. "We'll start right away." Lynn glares at her, but Tris just laughs it off and starts reading.

The door to the Pit closes behind me, and I am alone. I have not walked this tunnel since the day of the Choosing Ceremony. I remember how I walked it then, my footsteps unsteady, searching for light. I walk it surefooted now. I don't need light anymore.

"Wow!" Uriah exclaims "Tris can see in the dark!"

"What do you expect from her?" Zeke asks. "Tris is too good to use light anyway. It's beneath her."

"So the rest of us are just pleabs for using light?" Will says.

"Of course," Tris says smoothly. "But, we knew that already didn't we?" When people start glaring at her, she just smiles and turns her attention back to the book. I think I'm starting to notice that Tris likes to make people glare at her.

It has been four days since I spoke to Tori. Since then, Erudite has released two articles about Abnegation. The first article accuses Abnegation of withholding luxuries like cars and fresh fruit from the other factions in order to force their belief in self-denial on everyone else. When I read it, I thought of Will's sister, Clara, accusing my mother of hoarding goods. The second article discusses the failings of choosing government officials based on their faction, asking why only people who define themselves as selfless should be in government. It promotes a return to the democratically elected political systems of the past. It makes a lot of sense, which makes me suspect it is a call for revolution wrapped in the clothing of rationality.

"Cynical much, Tris?" Marlene teases.

"I was right" she answers, shrugging.

That shuts everyone up and I'm reminded for the first time that this is a book of what would've happened if Jeannene wasn't stopped. I look at how many chapters are left and start to wonder. Who all dies in this version of events? Do I? Does Tris?

This though takes me back for a second. What if Tris died, but I was still alive? I know I'm impulsive at times, which could mean that I do something stupid.

Before I get too far into imagining this alternate reality, I pull myself back. Everything worked out well for us, so I guess the question about what I would do if things were different is kind of moot. These events have started to make me wonder about alternate realities though. Maybe I'll go over to Erudite when we finish this thing and read up on that. Could be interesting.

I reach the end of the tunnel. The net stretches across the gaping hole, just as it did when I last saw it. I climb the stairs to the wooden platform where Four pulled me to solid ground and grab the bar that the net is attached to. I would not have been able to lift my body up with just my arms when I first got here, but now I do it almost without thinking and roll into the center of the net. Above me are the empty buildings that stand at the edge of the hole, and the sky. It is dark blue and starless. There is no moon. The articles troubled me, but I had friends to cheer me up, and that is something.

"Yay friendship!" Uriah yells.

When the first one was released, Christina charmed one of the cooks in the Dauntless kitchens, and he let us try some cake batter.

"What!?" Zeke screeches. Shauna and I share a look. Zeke has been trying for years, years, to get them to let him try some cake batter, but to no avail.

"What was it like?" he demands.

"It was pretty magical," Will says wistfully. "I think I could die happy, now that I have been allowed to eat that divine substance in liquid form. It was truly one of the best most sacred moments of my life."

Zeke, looking crestfallen snaps his attention to Christina. "You have to get me some."

"I will," Christine says, nodding vehemently because of the crazy eyes Zeke is giving her. "I promise," she adds, when Zeke's crazy eyes don't quite go away.

"You're the best bestie!" Zeke squeals.

After the second article, Uriah and Marlene taught me a card game, and we played for two hours in the dining hall. Tonight, though, I want to be alone. More than that, I want to remember why I came here, and why I was so determined to stay here that I would jump off a building for it, even before I knew what being Dauntless was. I work my fingers through the holes in the net beneath me. I wanted to be like the Dauntless I saw at school. I wanted to be loud and daring and free like them.

"Do you really want to be like them?" Will says, gesturing to Zeke and Uriah.

Tris hesitates for a moment. "I think this is before I really knew them…"

"Hey!" Uriah exclaims, "we're fabulous."

"You guys on the other hand," Zeke says gravely.

"Definitely a boot" Uriah finishes, nodding.

I don't know what a boot has to do with anything, and I really don't feel like asking, so I just decide to let it go.

But they were not members yet; they were just playing at being Dauntless.

Isn't everyone though?

And so was I, when I jumped off that roof. I didn't know what fear was. In the past four days, I faced four fears. In one I was tied to a stake and Peter set a fire beneath my feet.

Uriah gasps. "Tris is a witch and is scared of being discovered!"

Zeke, Lynn, and Marlene start chanting "Burn her" until Shauna hits each of them in the throat, making them shut up.

In another, I was drowning again, this time in the middle of an ocean as the water raged around me. In the third, I watched as my family slowly bled to death.

And in the fourth, I was held at gunpoint and forced to shoot them.

Zeke flinches. "Your fears are hardcore, man."

Tris shrugs then turns a bit to smirk at Christina. "At least mine don't have moths in them."

"Shut up!" Christina whines. "Moths really are scary! Just the eyes and the proboscises, and what's up with the fur? It's not even tasteful fur, it's just creepy fur, and have you see the way -"

Tris holds up a hand, an exasperated look on her face. "We get it," Tris says "Moths are terrifying creatures."

"We'll have to watch Mothra at some point," Uriah says, sharing a mischievous look with his brother. "It's the perfect horror movie for Christina!"

Zeke considers this a moment and then sighs dejectedly. "It might actually cure her of her fear since the special effects are really old."

Christina perks up at this. "It's worth a shot then, right?" she says cautiously.

After plans are made to watch Mothra sometime, and Tris finally gets back to reading, I look suspiciously over at the two brothers and catch them briefly smirking at each other, and looking very pleased with themselves. They quickly return their faces to normal though, so I'm the only one who notices. Whatever trap Christina just fell into, I want no part of it. I decide right then that I would rather pick up a shift at work than watch Mothra with everyone.

I know what fear is now. Wind rushes over the lip of the hole and washes over me, and I close my eyes. In my mind, I stand at the edge of the roof again. I undo the buttons of my gray Abnegation shirt, exposing my arms, revealing more of my body than anyone else has ever seen.

"Not hard," Caleb points out.

I ball the shirt up and hurl it at Peter's chest. I open my eyes. No, I was wrong; I didn't jump off the roof because I wanted to be like the Dauntless. I jumped off because I already was like them, and I wanted to show myself to them. I wanted to acknowledge a part of myself that Abnegation demanded that I hide. I stretch my hands over my head and hook them in the net again. I reach with my toes as far as I can, taking up as much of the net as possible. The night sky is empty and silent, and for the first time in four days, so is my mind.

"You going to become a yoga instructor?" Zeke asks. At some point, he and Uriah repositioned into a full lotus, and both have their eyes closed and palms together in front of their chests. They also have on identical looks of serenity.

For a split second, I envision a yoga class taught by Uriah and Zeke and the sort of chaos that would ensue. I try to stifle my laugh and pass it off as coughing, but am only partially successful as the effort causes me to have a fit of real coughs.

After my body is done trying to eject my lungs through my throat, everyone is giving me a worried look.

"You ok?" Caleb asks. His eyebrows are drawn together.

"Aww. You do care," I say, touching a hand over my heart.

Caleb rolls his eyes, and I am reminded again that Tris and Caleb are siblings.

I hold my head in my hands and breathe deeply. Today the simulation was the same as yesterday: Someone held me at gunpoint and ordered me to shoot my family. When I lift my head, I see that Four is watching me.

Christina snorts. "When wasn't he?"

I decide to ignore that remark and everyone's laughter.

"I know the simulation isn't real," I say. "You don't have to explain it to me," he replies. "You love your family. You don't want to shoot them. Not the most unreasonable thing in the world."

"Fearing moths, on the other hand…" I say, smirking at a scowling Christina.

She continues to glare at me as everyone laughs. I guess she doesn't appreciate it when people turn the tables on her.

"In the simulation is the only time I get to see them," I say. Even though he says I don't, I feel like I have to explain why this fear is so difficult for me to face. I twist my fingers together and pull them apart. My nail beds are bitten raw—I have been chewing them as I sleep. I wake to bloody hands every morning.

"Are you sure that's where the blood comes from?" Uriah says ominously.

"What do you mean?" Tris asks. As soon as she says it, a look of regret crosses over her face and Lynn grons. Why did she have to ask him to explain it?

"What if you've actually been sleepwalking and going to kill chickens or something in your sleep?"

"Well then, little brother," Zeke says, putting an arm around Uriah, "I guess that would mean Tris has missed her calling to be a butcher."

"I miss them. You ever just …miss your family?" Four looks down. "No," he says eventually. "I don't. But that's unusual."

Uriah gasps and I tense. Has he figured out who I am?

"Four is a clone! He doesn't miss his family because he has no family to miss!"

I feel my shoulders relax. Who was I kidding? Uriah is too busy coming up with wild conspiracy theories to notice the hints that have been dropped about who my family is.

"You got me, Uriah," I say flatly. "Although, I do miss the tube I was grown in sometimes."

It is unusual, so unusual it distracts me from the memory of holding a gun to Caleb's chest.

"Gee, thanks," Caleb says. "I guess I'm second to Four now."

"Don't feel too bad," I say, putting a hand on Caleb's shoulder, "Not everyone can be as perfect as me."

Caleb snorts and brushes off my hand. "Not everyone can be as conceited as you either."

What was his family like that he no longer cares about them? I pause with my hand on the doorknob and look back at him. Are you like me? I ask him silently. Are you Divergent? Even thinking the word feels dangerous. His eyes hold mine, and as the silent seconds pass, he looks less and less stern.

"Yeah, he's probably getting more concerned," Zeke says, "you've probably been staring for a while."

I see Tris pause a moment before reading, seeming to scan the page before starting. Maybe she skipped something.

I shouldn't be able to think of anything but initiation. The simulations should disturb me more; they should break my mind, as they have been doing to most of the other initiates. Drew doesn't sleep—he just stares at the wall, curled in a ball.

Caleb winces. "You guys should have a therapist or something during stage 2."

"If they need a therapist, then they don't belong here," Shauna says.

Caleb's eyes flash in anger. "Admitting you need help is much braver than ignoring your problems." Shauna flushes and bows her head slightly. Though she won't admit it, Caleb has a point.

I look over at Caleb and wonder why he was so angry with what Shauna said. Guess I'll have to ask him later.

Al screams every night from his nightmares and cries into his pillow. My nightmares and chewed fingernails pale by comparison. Al's screams wake me every time, and I stare at the springs above me and wonder what on earth is wrong with me, that I still feel strong when everyone else is breaking down. Is it being Divergent that makes me steady, or is it something else?

"Jesus," Lynn says. "You really do ask too many questions. Even to yourself."

Tris blushes a bit, but ultimately ignores her and keeps reading.

When I get back to the dormitory, I expect to find the same thing I found the day before: a few initiates lying on beds or staring at nothing. Instead, they stand in a group on the other end of the room. Eric is in front of them with a chalkboard in his hands, which is facing the other way, so I can't see what's written on it. I stand next to Will. "What's going on?" I whisper.

"They're playing a game of hangman," Uriah whispers. "Eric's losing right now."

I hope it isn't another article, because I'm not sure I can handle any more hostility directed at me. "Rankings for stage two," he says. "I thought there weren't any cuts after stage two," I hiss. "There aren't. It's just a progress report, sort of." I nod. The sight of the board makes me feel uneasy, like something is swimming in my stomach.

Marlene's face scrunches up in disgust. "Nice way to phrase it, Tris."

"What can I say? I truly am a genius with words."

Eric lifts the board above his head and hangs it on the nail. When he steps aside, the room falls silent, and I crane my neck to see what it says. My name is in the first slot. Heads turn in my direction. I follow the list down. Christina and Will are seventh and ninth, respectively. Peter is second, but when I look at the time listed by his name, I realize that the margin between us is conspicuously wide. Peter's average simulation time is eight minutes. Mine is two minutes, forty-five seconds.

"Not too good at staying under the radar, is she?" Caleb asks, turning to me and ignoring his sister's scandalized look.

"Not really," I agree.

"Nice job, Tris," Will says quietly. I nod, still staring at the board. I should be pleased that I am ranked first, but I know what that means. If Peter and his friends hated me before, they will despise me now. Now I am Edward. It could be my eye next.

"Dude, I think you'd look badass with an eyepatch," Zeke says, Uriah nodding like an over excited bobble head next to him.

"Right, then I'll just go stab out an eye now so I can wear one," Tris says, rolling her eyes.

Or worse. I search for Al's name and find it in the last slot. The crowd of initiates breaks up slowly, leaving just me, Peter, Will, and Al standing there.

I want to console Al. To tell him that the only reason that I'm doing well is that there's something different about my brain.

It's probably a good thing she only considered it instead of acting on it. Who knows how fast Al would've sold her out. And I'm not even sure that it would actually make him feel better...

Peter turns slowly, every limb infused with tension. A glare would have been less threatening than the look he gives me—a look of pure hatred. He walks toward his bunk, but at the last second, he whips around and shoves me against a wall, a hand on each of my shoulders. "I will not be outranked by a Stiff," he hisses, his face so close to mine I can smell his stale breath.

Uriah and Zeke make gagging sounds.

"Ever heard of personal space?" Shauna says, her nose scrunched up in disgust.

"How did you do it, huh? How the hell did you do it?"

"Does he seriously think that you're going to give him pointers or something?" Will says, rolling his eyes. "I mean, seriously, he's been nothing but a dick. Why would Tris be inclined to help him in any way?

"Ah, see, you're making the mistake of using your brain and logic," Caleb says, "that's not really something that Peter does."

He pulls me forward a few inches and then slams me against the wall again. I clench my teeth to keep from crying out, though pain from the impact went all the way down my spine.

I furrow my brow. We really should separate the initiates towards the latter stages. It always has gotten pretty tense when they start going through their fears.

Will grabs Peter by his shirt collar and drags him away from me.

"What a hero!" Uraih squeals, clasping his hands together and batting his eyelashes towards Will.

The image is slightly disturbing for some reason, and I notice Will subtly scooting away from Uriah.

"Leave her alone," he says. "Only a coward bullies a little girl." "A little girl?" scoffs Peter, throwing off Will's hand. "Are you blind, or just stupid?

"As much as I hate Peter, I gotta admit that I was wrong about the little girl thing," Will sighs. "I mean, she's scarier than Four."

Tris smirks, but then Will continues. "Though of course, if I had just meant it in the way of stature, I'm not wrong about that…" Will finishes, watching for Tris's reaction.

Tris narrows her eyes at Will, but when he just cheekily grins back at her, I guess she decides to just leave the truth alone and goes back to reading.

She's going to edge you out of the rankings and out of Dauntless, and you're going to get nothing, all because she knows how to manipulate people and you don't. So when you realize that she's out to ruin us all, you let me know."

"That doesn't make any sense!" Caleb bursts out, clearly distraught, "even if Tris gets first there is still the same number of slots available. Unless she splits off into multiple people she can't edge you out of the rankings!"

Will and Christina look a little sheepish at the end of the tirade, and Caleb looks personally offended as if a fallacy is the most heinous crime that one could ever commit.

Peter storms out of the dormitory. Molly and Drew follow him, looks of disgust on their faces. "Thanks," I say, nodding to Will. "Is he right?" Will asks quietly. "Are you trying to manipulate us?"

"You got me," Tris says flatly. "My plan was to see you guys to get dauntless cake batter all along."

Christina gasps, placing a hand to her chest, "I knew you were just using me for my superior charms."

"How on earth would I do that?" I scowl at him. "I'm just doing the best I can, like anyone else." "I don't know." He shrugs a little. "By acting weak so we pity you? And then acting tough to psyche us out?" "Psyche you out?" I repeat. "I'm your friend. I wouldn't do that."

"Not to mention that that tatic doesn't make any sense!" Caleb exclaims.

Everyone makes eye contact and decides not to comment on Caleb's vendetta against faulty logic.

He doesn't anything. I can tell he doesn't believe me—not quite. "Don't be an idiot, Will," says Christina, hopping down from her bunk. She looks at me without sympathy and adds, "She's not acting."

Uriah and Zeke go into an uproar. "Oh my God" and "No she didn't" can be heard at random intervals interlaced with other phrases like them. They don't stop until Lynn flicks their foreheads.

While Uriah is rubbing his forehead, he scowls at Lynn and says, "the only thing that would make that burn savage is if it was actually based in reality."

Christina turns and leaves, without banging the door shut. Will follows. I am alone in the room with Al. The first and the last. All has never looked small before, but he does now, with his shoulders slumped and his body collapsing on itself like crumpled paper. He sits down on the edge of his bed. "Are you all right?" I ask. "Sure," he says.

I glance at Uriah and have to do a double take when I notice tears streaming down his face.

His face is bright red. I look away. Asking him was just a formality. Anyone with eyes could see that Al is not all right. "It's not over," I say. "You can improve your rank if you…" My voice trails off when he looks up at me. I don't even know what I would say to him if I finished my sentence. There is no strategy for stage two. It reaches deep into the heart of who we are and tests whatever courage is there. "See?" he says. "It's not that simple." "I know it's not." "I don't think you do," he says, shaking his head. His chin wobbles. "For you it's easy. All of t his is easy." "That's not true." "Yeah, it is." He closes his eyes. "You aren't helping me pretending it isn't. I don't —I'm not sure you can help me at all." I feel like I just walked into a downpour, and all my clothes are heavy with water; like I am heavy and awkward and useless. I don't know if he means that no one can help him, or if I, specifically, can't help him, but I would not be okay with either interpretation.

I rest my chin on my hand and sigh. It's not that I don't care about Al and his personal problems, it's just that I wish he would've grown a spine and stuck with Candor despite what his family says. Guess it's kind of ironic that the reason he joined Dauntless was because he wasn't very courageous.

I want to help him. I am powerless to do so. "I…," I start to say, meaning to apologize, but for what? For being more Dauntless than he is?

"If this is what you think of your friends, I'd hate to see what you think about the people you really despise" Zeke says.

Tris shrugs. "Not my fault I see the truth."

"Ah," Uriah says, wagging his finger disapprovingly in Tris's direction, "but can us mere mortals ever actually see the truth, or are we just doomed to see some flimsy reality that our puny minds are capable of understanding. The universe-"

We are all starting at Uriah, with varying amounts of concern when Tris finally snaps out of it and starts quickly reading over him. I hate it when Uriah gets existential.

For not knowing what to say? "I just…" The tears that have been gathering in his eyes spill over, wetting his cheeks. "…want to be alone." I nod and turn away from him. Leaving him is not a good idea, but I can't stop myself. The door clicks into place behind me, and I keep walking. I walk past the drinking fountain and through the tunnels that seemed endless the day I got here but now barely register in my mind.

This is not the first time I have failed my family since I got here, but for some reason, it feels that way. Every other time I failed, I knew what to do but chose not to do it. This time, I did not know what to do. Have I lost the ability to see what people need? Have I lost part of myself? I keep walking.

Speaking of existential, I think, rolling my eyes. I look over at Tris, who is now sitting on two pillows that she managed to find somewhere in Zeke's apartment. I love her, but she can be a bit melodramatic at times. Of course, I'd be a huge hypocrite if I ever pointed that out.

I somehow find the hallway I sat in the day Edward left. I don't want to be alone, but I don't feel like I have much of a choice. I close my eyes and pay attention to the cold stone beneath me and breathe the musty underground air. "Tris!" someone calls from the end of the hallway. Uriah jogs toward me. Behind him are Lynn and Marlene. Lynn is holding a muffin. "Thought I would find you here." He crouches near my feet. "I heard you got ranked first." "So you just wanted to congratulate me?" I smirk. "Well, thanks." "Someone should," he says. "And I figured your friends might not be so congratulatory since their ranks aren't as high. So quit moping and come with u s. I'm going to shoot a muffin off Marlene's head."

"Yes Tris," Will says. "This is what you have been trying so hard to join. Watching people shoot muffins off each other's heads."

"It's actually pretty entertaining," Shauna says, like shooting muffins off of people is a daily ocurrence. Of ourse in her househould, it very well couldd be.

The idea is so ridiculous I can't stop myself from laughing. I get up and follow Uriah to the end of the hallway, where Marlene and Lynn are waiting. Lynn narrows her eyes at me, but Marlene grins. "Why aren't you out celebrating?" she asks. "You're practically guaranteed a top ten spot if you keep it up." "She's too Dauntless for the other transfers," Uriah says. "And too Abnegation to 'celebrate,'" remarks Lynn. I ignore her. "Why are you shooting a muffin o ff Marlene's head?" "She bet me I couldn't aim well enough to hit a small object from one hundred feet,"

Uriah explains. "I bet her she didn't have the guts to stand there as I tried. It wo rks out well, really." The training room where I first fired a gun is not far from my hidden hallway. We get there in under a minute, and Uriah flips on a light s witch. It looks the same as the last time I was there: targets on one end of the room, a table with guns on the other.

"Did you expect it to look any different?" Zeke asks. "The last time something in the compound changed was like, 20 years ago probably."

"Nu uh!" Marlene exclaims. "Just 10 years ago the paint in the dinning hall chaanged from ebony to charcoal black."

The Dauntless born laugh at what I understand to be a favorite joke among the Dauntless, while everyone not Dauntless born just glare at the subpar joke. Maybe if the Dauntless got out every once in a while, they would be able to come up with some fresh material.

"They just keep these lying around?" I ask. "Ye ah, but they aren't loaded." Uriah pulls up his shirt. There is a gun stuck under the waistband of his pants, right under a tattoo. I stare at the tattoo, trying to figure out what it is, but then he lets his shirt fall.

Uriah blushes and acts digustingly shy. "Tris, I didn't know you had a tattoo thing."

Tris correctly opts to ignore Uriah while he begs for help while Lynn and Marlene both start flicking him.

"Okay," he says. "Go stand in front of a target." Marlene walks away, a skip in her step. "You aren't seriously going to shoot at her, are you?" I ask Uriah. "It's not a real gun," says Lynn quietly. "It's got plastic pellets in it. The worst it'll do is sting her face, maybe give her a welt. What do you think we are, stupid?"

"You haven't really showed otherwise" Caleb drawls. By the look on his face when every Dauntless-born starts glaring at him, I can tell he didn't actually mean to say that.

"I mean,-" he hedges, looking a bit apologetic.

Before he can slpa together an apology, however, Tris starts bursting into laughter.

"How does it feel to be owned by an Erudite?" she asks them.

Marlene stands in front of one of the targets and sets the muffin on her head. Uriah squints one eye as he aims the gun. "Wait!" calls out Marlene. She breaks off a piece of the muffin and pops it into her mouth. "Mmkay!" she shouts, the word garbled by food. She gives Uriah a thumbs-up. "I take it your ranks were good," I say to Lynn. She nods. "Uriah's second. I'm first. Marlene's fourth." "You're only first by a hair," says Uriah as he aims. He squeezes the trigger. The muffin falls off Marlene's head. She didn't even blink. "We both win!" she shouts. "You miss your old faction?" Lynn asks me. "Sometimes," I say. "It was calmer. Not as exhausting." Marlene picks up the muffin from the ground and bites into it. Uriah shouts, "Gross!" "Initiation's supposed to wear us down to who we really are. That's what Eric says, anyway," Lynn says. She arches an eyebrow. "Four says it's to prepare us." "Well, they don't agree on much." I nod.

I think about the only thing Eric and I agree on is that cake is delicious. And that's not even an opinion, that's just a fact of life.

Four told me that Eric's vision for Dauntless is not what it's supposed to be, but I wish he would tell me exactly what he thinks t he right vision is.

Zeke places his hands on his hips and tsks Tris. "You're supposed to be a strong, independent, she-demon who don't need no numbers, Tris."

"And I guess you're a strong independent clown who doens't need any grammer," Tris replies, without skipping a beat.

While I laugh at Zeke despite his glares and muttering of "friend betrayer," I decide that no matter what happens because of this book, it has been worth it to get to hear Zeke and Uriah being relentlessly made fun of.

I get glimpses of it every so often—the Dauntless cheering when I jumped off the building, the net of arms that caught me after zip lining—but t hey are not enough. Has he read the Dauntless manifesto? Is that what he believe s in—in ordinary acts of bravery? The door to the training room opens. Shauna, Zeke, and Four walk in just as Uriah fires at another target. The plastic pellet bounces off the center of the target and rolls along the ground.

"I thought I heard something in here," says Four. "Turns out it's my idiot brother," says Zeke.

"Takes one to know one," Lynn says.

While Zeke and Uriah gape at her like fish, she getsures at Tris to keep reading.

"You're not supposed to be in here after hours. Careful, or Four will tell Eric, and then you'll be as good as scalped." Uriah wrinkles his nose at his brother an d puts the pellet gun away. Marlene crosses the room, taking bites of her muffin, and Four steps away from the door to let us file out. "You wouldn't tell Eric," says Lynn, eyeing Four suspiciously.

"Paranoid much?" Will asks, raising his eyebrows at Lynn.

"Hey!" Uriah interjects, a surprisingly serious look settiling on his features, "just because your paranoid doens't mean that nobody's out to get you." He gives us all wide, crazy eyes to emphasize his point.

There is a slightly awkward silence as we all try to think of how to respond, before he just crosses his arms and nods solemly, whihc Tris takes as her cue to keep going.

"No, I wouldn't," he says. As I pass him, he rests hi s hand on the top of my back to usher me out, his palm pressing between my shoulder blades. I shiver. I hope he can't tell. The others walk down the hallway, Zeke and Uriah shoving each other, Marlene splitting her muffin with Shauna, Lynn marching in front. I start to follow them. "Wait a second," Four says. I turn toward him, wondering which version of Four I'll see now—the one who scolds me, or the one w ho climbs Ferris wheels with me. He smiles a little, but the smile doesn't spread to his eyes, which look tense and worried. "You belong here, you know that?" he says. "You belong with us.

Uriah and Zeke start pounding on the floor in front of them and start chanting "One of us!"

It'll be over soon, so just hold on, okay?" He scratches behind his ear and looks away, like he's embarrassed by what he said.

"Four's in looooove" Zeke says, batting his eyelashes at me.

I flick him in between the eyes and smirk when he starts cursing under his breath.

Tris pauses for a moment then picks up reading again. Seems like she skipped over the part where she held my hand. And though I would've liked to read that, I'm kind of glad she didn't let Zeke and Uriah hear that. They would'v ehad a feild day with that info.

I get back to the dormitory before anyone else does, and when they start to trickle in, I get into bed and pretend to be asleep. I don't need any of them, not if they're going to react this way when I do well. If I can make it through initiation, I will be Dauntless, and I won't have to see them anymore. I don't need them—but do I want them? Every tattoo I got with them is a mark of their friendship, and all most every time I have laughed in this dark place was because of them. I don't wan t to lose them. But I feel like I have already. After at least a half hour of racing thoughts, I roll onto my back and open my eyes. The dormitory is dark now—everyone has gone to bed. Probably exhausted from resenting me so much, I think wit h a wry smile. As if coming from the most hated faction wasn't enough, now I'm showing them up, too.

I get out of bed to get a drink of water. I'm not thirsty, but I need to do something. My bare feet make sticky sounds on the floor as I walk, my hand skimming the wall to keep my path straight. A bulb glows blue above the drinking fountain.

I tug my hair over one shoulder and bend over. As soon as the water touches my lips, I hear voices at the end of the hallway. I creep closer to them, trusting the dark to keep me hidden. "So far there haven't been any signs of it." Eric's voice. Signs of what?

"The alien invasion!" Uriah proclaims, with a slightly crazed look in his eyes.

"What aliens?" Will, very stupidly, says. He realizes his mistake as soon as he finishes his question and grimaces. Asking Uriah to expand on one of his crazy conspiracy theories is never a good idea. It only leaves you confused and questioning Uriah's sanity.

"The Tralfamadorians!" Uriah says. "They've hidden themselves among us, but the truth is out there! When they came to earth they-"

Tris cuts him off, rolling her eyes. "Yes, yes." she says sounding slightly tired. "We know, Uriah, and I'm sure Caleb would love to hear all about it" the mentioned quickly glares at Tris trying to show that he would not, in fact, love to hear all about it, but Tris just ignores him "but after we finish the book, ok?"

Uriah, looking much happier, nods while Caleb continues to glare at Tris. She gives him an apologetic smile, which I feel isn't really sincere, and goes back to the book.

While everyone is refocusing on the book, I glance over at Uriah and see something strange. It's only for a few seconds, but I swear that Uriah wears a satisfied smirk on his face before wiping his face and going to his default smile. And, not for the first time, I wonder if Uriah is just fucking with all of us.

"Well, you wouldn't have seen much of it yet," someone replies. A female voice; cold and familiar, but familiar like a dream, not a real person. "Combat training shows you nothing. The simulations, however, reveal who the Divergent rebels are, if there are any, so we will have to examine the footage several times to be sure." The word "Divergent" makes me go cold. I lean forward, my back pressed to the stone, to see who the familiar voice belongs to. "Don't forget the reason I had Max appoint you," the voice says. "Your first priority is always finding them. Always." "I won't forget."

Tris stops and seems to consider the rest of the page for a minute. "I'm done reading," she says bluntly. She slides the book over to Uriah, ignoring his numerous protests, and stands. She walks to the door and calls out that she's leaving for the rest of the chapter while going through it.

I guess it's time for the chasm scene now.

Caleb's POV

Uriah picks up the book Tris slid to him and quickly tries to find the place Tris left off.

I glance over at Four, who doesn't look all that surprised that Tris just left. I suppose that means he knows what's going on.

I sigh. Since Tris would rather leave than sit with us through this portion of the book, it has to mean that something bad happened to her. And, although I am not thrilled with this, I am suddenly glad that my invention accidently printed out Tris's life instead of mine. Otherwise, I don't think I would have found out what all has happened to her.

My thoughts are interrupted when Uriah finally finds the place Tris left off at and begins reading.

I shift a few inches forward, hoping I am still hidden.

"My ninja training has finally become something I can put to use, and I suddenly remember the one who taught me and how he-"

Uriah is cut off by Lynn. "Just read the damn book," she snarls, glaring at him.

Uriah pouts. "You're no fun."

I find myself smiling a little. If nothing else, I appreciate Uriah's efforts to keep things light.

Whoever that voice belongs to, she is pulling the strings; she is responsible for Eric's leadership position; she is the one who wants me dead. I tilt my head forward, straining to see them before they turn the corner.

Now, of course, it is obvious that the person was Jeanine, and I am briefly impressed that Tris even recognized her voice at all, since so many seem to not pay any attention to the things they see in the aptitude test.

Then someone grabs me from behind.

"What?" I say, startled. I knew something bad had happened, but I hadn't expected this. I look around the room and see that no one else is surprised, and I catch a look of recognition pass over several faces. I sigh, something I've been doing a lot, since discovering my sister's antics.

Thankfully, Uriah just ignores me and continues reading. It's almost like there is an unspoken agreement to remain silent for the rest of the chapter.

I start to scream, but a hand claps over my mouth. It smells like soap and it's big enough to cover the lower half of my face. I thrash, but the arms holding m e are too strong, and I bite down on one of the fingers. "Ow!" a rough voice cries. "Shut up and keep her mouth covered." That voice is higher than the average male's and clearer. Peter.

I feel myself scowling. Wouldn't take an Erudite to figure Peter would be a part of this. At least I know Tris doesn't die or lose an arm and a leg from this experience.

A strip of dark cloth covers my eyes, and a new pair of hands ties it at the back of my head. I struggle to breathe. There are at least two hands on my arms, dragging me forward, and one on my back, shoving me in the same direction, and one on my mouth, keeping my screams in. Three people.

I lean forward, resting my chin on a hand. One of the other people is obviously Drew, the only question is who the third is. It could be Molly, seeing as how she usually hangs out with them, but I have a suspicion that she wouldn't want to take on Tris after she beat her up. The only other person I can see being there would be Al, who had apparently been acting strangely before this.

My chest hurts. I can't resist three people on my own. "Wonder what it sounds like when a Stiff begs for mercy," Peter says with a chuckle. "Hurry up." I try to focus on the hand on my mouth. There must be something distinct about it that will make him easier to identify. His identity is a problem I can solve. I need to solve a problem right now, or I will panic.

I feel my eyebrows raise a bit at this. No wonder Tris got Erudite. Sometimes, I find myself wondering if the reason she is so good in Dauntless is because of her Erudite characteristics that allow her to remain rational even when afraid. I'll have to research how the values of the factions could be similar and influence each other when I get back to Erudite.

The palm is sweaty and soft. I clench my teeth and breathe through my nose. The soap smell is familiar. Lemongrass and sage. The same smell surrounds Al's bunk. A weight drops into my stomach.

I grimace. Guess I was right about it being Al, then. This is also more troublesome than Tris because although Al is usually a pacifist, something has clearly stopped him from thinking rationally, and although I know Tris could take Molly or pacifist Al, I don't think Tris can take on Drew, Peter, and snapped Al.

I hear the crash of water against rocks. We are near the chasm—we must be above it, given the volume of the sound. I press my lips together to keep from screaming. If we are above the chasm, I know what they intend to do to me. "Lift her up, c'mon."

I feel my eyes widen, and in my head I'm screaming. They can't possibly be stupid enough to throw her in the chasm, right?

I'm trying to reason that no, they can't possibly be that dumb when Four looks over at me and snorts.

"Careful," he says, a mischievous look in his eyes, "your eyes look like they could just pop out at any moment."

I thrash, and their rough skin grates against mine, but I know it's useless. I scream too, knowing that no one can hear me here. I will survive until tomorrow. I will. The hands push me around and up and slam my spine into something hard and cold. Judging by its width and curvature, it is a metal railing. It is the metal railing, the one that overlooks the chasm. My breaths wheeze and mist touches the back of my neck. The hands force my back to arch over the railing. My feet leave the ground, and my attackers are the only thing keeping me from falling into the water. A heavy hand gropes along my chest.

"You sure you're sixteen, Stiff? Doesn't feel like you're more than twelve."

I've never really been the tough older brother type, but I suddenly find myslef wanting to find them and give them a piece of my mind. Or at least to build a robot or somehting that can do it for me. The possibilities are endless...

The other boy s laugh. Bile rises in my throat and I swallow the bitter taste. "Wait, I think I found something!" His hand squeezes me. I bite my tongue to keep from screaming. More laughter. Al's hand slips from my mouth. "Stop that," he snaps. I recognize his low, distinct voice. When All lets go of me, I thrash again and slip down to the ground. This time, I bite down as hard as I can on the first arm I find. I hear a scream and clench my jaw harder, tasting blood. Something hard strikes my face.

White heat races through my head. It would have been pain if adrenaline wasn't coursing through me like acid. The boy wrenches his trapped arm away from me and throws me to the ground. I bang my elbow against stone and bring my hands up to my head to remove the blindfold. A foot drives into my side, forcing the air from my lungs. I gasp and cough and claw at the back of my head. Someone grabs a handfull of my hair and slams my head against something hard. A scream of pain bursts from my mouth, and I feel dizzy. Clumsily, I fumble along the side of my head t o find the edge of the blindfold. I drag my heavy hand up, taking the blindfold with it, and blink. The scene before me is sideways and bobs up and down. I see someone running toward us and someone running away—someone large, Al. I grab the railing next to me and haul myself to my feet.

Peter wraps a hand around my throat and lifts me up, his thumb wedged under my chin. His hair, which is usually shiny and smooth, is tousled and sticks to his forehead. His pale face is contorted and his teeth are gritted, and he holds me over the chasm as spots appear on the edges of my vision, crowding around his face, green and pink and blue. He says nothing. I try to kick him, but my legs are too short. My lungs scream for air. I hear a shout, and he releases me. I stretch out my arms as I fall, gasping, and my armpits slam into the railing. I hook my elbows over it and groan.

Mist touches my ankles. The world dips and sways around me, and someone is on the Pit floor—Drew—screaming. I hear thumps. Kicks. Groans. I blink a few times and focus as hard as I can on the only face I can see. It is contorted with anger. His eyes are dark blue. "Four," I croak.

I find myself realeasing my breath. Rationally, I knew that Tris had to be okay, but its still nice to hear that she got rescued. I glance over at Four, who is earing a closed off expression. I guess he's not so bad after all.

I close my eyes, and hands wrap around my arms, right where they join with the shoulder. He pulls me over the railing and against his chest, gathering me into his arms, easing an arm under my knees. I press my face into his shoulder, and there is a sudden, hollow silence.

Four's POV

Uriah slamms the book closed.

"So much for silence," Lynn mutters. And although it wasn't necessarily funny, everyone laughed, and the tension started to flow out of the room.

Since it had been a long chapter, everyone started to stretch and shift around after it was over. Zeke, stretching an arm behind his head happens to glance at a clock. "That late already? Why don't we all get lunch?" There was a general murmur of agreement, and people began to shuffle towards the door, Will, Caleb, and Christina saying something about going to find Tris.

Zeke looked at me when I made no move to get up, but nodded and headed out the door when I waved him away.

Suddenly, I found myself alone with Uriah both of us sitting where we always did in the circle, and I realized that although I had known Uriah for a couple of years, I had never actually had a conversation alone with Uriah. Well, except when I had told him about his divergence. That hadn't been much of a conversation though.

"You okay?" Uriah finally asked, breaking the silence.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DIVERGENT.

A/n: Been a while, eh? I realize I haven't updated in years, and honestly my reasons aren't necessarily good ones, so I won't bore y'all with them. Though I will tell you one of them was that I was too busy reading fanfiction and getting into new fandoms to write fanfiction. The struggle is real.

Thanks to all of you for sticking with this fanfic despite the author's tardiness.

And to the guest who said Uriah and Deadpool should meet: You are a true visionary, and I agree with you 110%.