Firefox

"A firefox? Heresy!"

"Well, actually it's called an infernal fox and-"

"Heresy!"

Gabrielle sighed as the templar yammered on. She was sure nice templar existed. She'd met one not long after he arrived on Wraeclast. But this one was like the majority of people stranded in this God-forsaken land – homicidal, insane, and homicidal. So homicidal that it needed to be listed twice.

"Die!"

So she ducked and weaved as the templar flung his staff, her infernal fox hiding in the bushes. She'd found him in the overgrown ruins, chewing out the neck of one of the savages that lived there. He was like the templar in a lot of ways – homicida, but unlike most of Wraeclast, was on her side. Fiery, demonic, eager to kill, but still an ally.

She called him Blinky.

"Heretic! Using Firefox?! Heresy!"

"Yeah yeah," the scion sighed as she still avoided his blows, drawing blood with her sword. "I heard you the first time."

"You have blasphemed against Google Chrome for the last time!"

The hell?

"Internet Explorer, I could forgive. Even Bing!"

The templar. He'd really lost it.

"But the Firefox? Madness!"

"Y'know bub, you really shouldn't talk about madness when-"

The templar's staff hit her. Hard. And Gabrielle reminded herself that she shouldn't be talking to the templar about talking, because talking in battle was a sure way to be prevented from ever talking again.

"Die!"

I.e. being killed.

Uh-oh.

The templar's staff came down. She was not so dazed that she didn't see the club, but was too dazed to move.

No.

It still came down.

No!

But it never hit.

Yes!

The scion groggily got to her feet. Through her ears, she could hear the templar's screams. And through her eyes, as they cleared, she could see Blinky doing what Blinky did best. Gnawing enemies.

"Heresy! Heres-"

The templar stopped talking as his throat was torn out. And yelling. And moving. Soon, the only thing moving was her infernal fox, the creature turning around with a slab of flesh in its bloody mouth. Looking up at her as if expecting a reward.

"Good boy."

The creature sat up straight and dropped the flesh on the ground. Its tongue sticking out, its tail wagging.

"Here you go."

And let out a "yip" as it got some health potion. Why it needed or even enjoyed health potions Gabrielle didn't know, but it was a small price to pay for the infernal fox's continued presence.

And as she hydrated him, she glanced at the templar. Firefox, Google, Bing…what madness was this?

Probably best not to know.

"Come on boy." She patted her leg and Blinky began following. Madness had gripped the templar. Just like it had gripped so many others on this God-forsaken continent. And she had enough to worry about without thinking about search engines. Whatever they were.

After all, DRM was the true threat.

A/N

I use Google Chrome myself, if anyone's wondering ;)