I know I'm not a monster.

Jack looked incredibly guilty at Pitch. He crouched down in front of the Nightmare King sighing and frustrated.

Jack slapped his face and scratched his head thinking of how to correct this.

"Pitch.." Jack started.

I know that it's not all my fault...

"Hey.. Sorry." he stopped unavaible to continue.

Pitch looked at him so much like his Old Man did.

I know I didn't mean for this to be.."I'm okay. I'm alright now." Jack smirked. He showed Pitch his wound.

"I know it's unbelievable given my track record but I promise you it was an accident." he said embarrassed.

Pitch looks confused and gently touched his arms.

"Look, I was.."

How do I put it..?

He sighed.

"I may not be thinking straight earlier.." Jack felt Pitch grip on him became tighter.

"I know I'm not supposed to think like this." Jack admitted.

Pitch seems like he wanted to say something so Jack waited for him to say something.

After a minute, Pitch didn't say anything so Jack continued.

"Old Man loves me. I'm not that bad." Jack said softly.

Jack looked down sighing.

"But.. Have you experienced something like you know something to be true but you don't really.."

Jack blinked. He didn't notice his eyes were tearing up again.

"I can't believe it." Jack resigned.

"He loves me. I know that." he sighed exasperatedly.

"I just can't believe someone would.." Jack stopped, blinking as tears fall into his eyes. He furiously wiped his face.

"I-I don't understand" Jack admitted, sobbing. He was shaking his head trying to imply something.

"I know that you-" hiccup. "mother and you-" Jack can't seem to finish it.

He looked frantically for help in Pitch. He was heaving and trying to breathe.

"You-" Pitch took pity on Jack and came closer to hug him. He got what Jack was trying to say but the fact that it seemed that he can't say it was baffling Pitch.

"You, you love me." Jack said softly and stuttering.

He let himself be hug without resisting to Pitch but he was still not finish.

"I don't understand.. Why..?" Jack squished his eyes. It was a question directing not only to Pitch.

"I'm your family, Jack" Pitch said in a soothing tone.

"Everytime something happened. Good or bad. I just think about how it must have been if I wasn't there." Jack was a bit calm now. Still crying but at least can talk straight.

Pitch tighten his hold. He's getting what Jack think. For the first time in a long time, he's hearing Jack.

"I don't get it. I know I'm not supposed to think that. You wouldn't be happy if I was gone, right?" Jack's breathe stilled. It was an innocent question.

And a question that he was actually anxious about.

Pitch nodded. "Of course not."

"What if you didn't get to meet me?" Jack asked again giving Pitch a weird look.

Pitch looked at him, silently asking him to explain.

"You love me because you met me. What if you didn't? You wouldn't have been hurt, no one would be"

Pitch thought for a minute. Jack is so weird. Thinking of such things.

"Are you saying we're better off not meeting you?"

Jack nodded. He tried to look nonchalant but he was serious about this.

He knew they came to love him. They were just so good. Of course their gentle souls would've love anyone.

He can't ignore or deny it anymore. But his last question stuck in his mind.

"Not at all?" Jack nodded.

Pitch was trying to read him. Trying to decipher if Jack was asking about something else.

He didn't think in their world that it's possible to unmeet people but he couldn't be so sure. He needed to know if Jack was gonna do something stupid.

Not responding, Jack began. "Like when something went bad? Don't you ever think that maybe it would've been better not to experience it at all?"

Pitch looked at him, stared at him, silently.

"No?"

"I'm glad I met you, Jack." Pitch smiled trying to emphasize this.

He was very glad he met the boy. He didn't want to even think if he didn't.

Jack looked at him in disbelief. "Now, stop lying."

"I'm telling the truth." Pitch sighed, gesturing to Jack's bed. "Shall we?"

Jack followed him and sat on his bed.

"Remember the time I woke up when you were having a nightmare" Pitch started, sitting close to the child.

Jack nodded embarrassed. He was just a kid back then. He was getting scared of little things, of absurd things.

"I didn't tell you but I was having nightmares myself" Pitch admitted calmly. Jack still looked at him disbelieving.

"It was nothing new at first. Seraphina getting lost.

Her getting locked somewhere." Pitch stated like it was very natural.

"She is my daughter of course it's natural to fear for her." Pitch held Jack's shoulder then.

"But then, it changed. A boy. A little boy kept following me." Jack blinked.

So now I was a nightmare? Jack smirked. Of course he was.

"Then?" Jack was curious now. This story was new to him. He knew what happened to Pitch and Mother Nature before. They told him that.

"He kept and kept following. Clinging into me. Like a little cockroach" Pitch smiled at the thought.

Jack giggled. It was a nickname for him given by Pitch.

He always said that he was slippery like a cockroach.

"But then he was gone" Pitch said in sorrow.

"I couldn't find him. I searched everywhere. Every nook and cranny" Jack shivered at the thought.

He didn't mean to cause someone any harm.

He knew Pitch was talking about the time he was gone. He was deliberately avoiding the two of them.

"The last thing I said to him is get out." Pitch said with so much regret.

His hold on Jack's shoulder hurting both of them.

"I kept repeating that night. I didn't mean it, Jack. I shouldn't have said that."

Jack was speechless. He don't want to admit that the thing Pitch said to him was one of the top reasons that he avoided them. He was scared to go through that again so he didn't even try to make up.

Of course, he wouldn't. He couldn't.

He almost killed her mother when he was grieving for his sister. Now, he remembered her.

"I didn't know where else to look. I tried so hard. I went everywhere. Asked everyone. Anyone." Pitch realized his hurting the boy and recoiled his hands on him.

"Then I realized, he was avoiding me" Pitch stared at Jack's hand. It took him a long time to understand it. Years and years of searching, trying to amend his mistakes.

Only to realized that his boy didn't want to see him.

"I got mad, you know?" Pitch sighed, looking away from Jack, staring at nothing.

"Pitch.." Jack said unable to say anything else.

"Why were you avoiding me? I took care of you. One mistake. I only made one mistake." Pitch hissed angrily.

Jack flinched at him. But then Pitch went calm again.

"Still, I searched. I don't care if my boy doesn't want to see me. I need to tell him I made a mistake. Need to know he's alright"

Jack looked down. He did avoid Pitch and after a lot of years, it became a routine.

See the boogeyman, go to the other way.

It was hard at first but he got used to it.

He didn't really understood why Pitch was always near when there was winter before.

He thought that he just liked the cold.

"I still can't find him. I tried."

"I'm sorry" Jack whispered. He didn't know what he did. Couldn't comprehend why he didn't noticed.

"I saw him again after a while" Pitch laughed sadly.

"I was blaming everyone. Myself included. I know what has happened to you, Jack. I tried to help but I was always late." Pitch glared at Bunny.

"I blamed the guardians especially." Bunny gulped. Of course he already knew what he did.

"But then I saw you with them. And then talked as if you didn't know me."

"Pitch, I-" Pitch raised his hand.

"I got angry but I was glad you stopped me." Pitch sighed, trying to look at Jack.

"I wished we could be like family, Jack." Pitch pinched his nose. Now is not the time to be crying.