Inspired by Cao Cao Answer Letters and Sima Yi Answer Letters.

You can also send a letter to Dun by the review.

Enjoy.

Dear cousin,

Indeed, I can see that your hair is cleanly shaved.

Dun

Cousin,

I have no idea, cousin. Perhaps, is it Cao Pi?

Whoever it is, I am willing to kill them for you.

Dun

Cousin,

Xiahou Ba did it while you were asleep?

Huh…

(unsigned)

Dear Ba,

Run for your life.

Uncle Dun

Dear Ba,

Yes, yes, take your father with you too.

Uncle Dun

Ba,

The reason is…uh…

I think you will lose your hair if you stay any longer, Ba.

Uncle Dun

Ba,

You're not supposed to say 'challenge accepted'

Uncle Dun

Dear Zhou Yu,

Why the hell are you sending me blank papers?

Xiahou Dun

Zhou Yu,

Now what's with these papers that smelled like alcohol?

Xiahou Dun

Dear cousin,

Please, do not shave Ba's hair.

Dun

Cousin,

No, I'm not in love with Ba's hair.

Dun

Cousin,

I am not in love with Ba either, I'm not gay nor a pedophile, cousin.

Dun

Dear Cao Pi,

Please, do not force me to eat grapes now.

Xiahou Dun

(the paper has some purple liquid)

Cao Pi,

Yes, thank you for the grapes that you shoved right into my face.

(unsigned)

Dear Sima Yi,

I have no intention of beating you with wearing all-purple. This is simply because of Cao Pi's grapes.

Xiahou Dun

Sima Yi,

'Lord' Cao Pi's grapes. Alright. (it's not like you call him like that anyway)

Xiahou Dun

Dear Zhou Yu,

That was a nice drawing, thank you.

(this guy is acting weird)

Xiahou Dun

Zhou Yu,

I have no idea about who sent the blank letters, as it was obviously from YOU.

What, are you retarded or something?

Xiahou Dun

Zhou Yu,

Don't go calling me meanie just because I called you a retard.

Xiahou Dun

Zhou Yu,

What?

Xiahou Dun

Zhou Yu,

So, the one who sent blank papers(and the alcoholic one) is Gan Ning, and the one who sent a drawing and calling me meanie is Xiaoqiao simply because they want to make me as well as the whole Wei army confused?

You should be glad that they're not Wu's strategists.

Xiahou Dun

Dear cousin,

No, I don't know how to grow hair quickly. And I don't think asking Zhuge Liang is a good idea, cousin.

Dun

Cousin,

You're asking me why?

Obviously because he's our enemy. Duh.

Dun

Cousin,

Fine. Just don't shave Ba's hair.

Dun

Dear Master Zhuge Liang,

Greetings to The Sleeping Dragon, the fearful dragon, the smart dragon of Shu. There is no one alive that could match you, nor there's anyone dead that could. And for you to marry someone based on her brain, that is so wise.

Helping Liu Bei and led him to benevolence, if you were not there, what could've happen to Liu Bei?

Inventing a lot of things, there is no wonder that the Shu army is strong enough to face Wei.

Your fabulous fan, the benevolence of Zhuge Liang.

So, do you know how to grow hair quickly?

Xiahou Dun

Zhuge Liang,

There is no way I'm giving Xuchang to you in exchange for it.

Xiahou Dun

Zhuge Liang,

Not Hefei either.

Xiahou Dun

Zhuge Liang,

Not my eye either, you douchebag.

(unsigned)