A Fire Emblem fanfiction by Lushard. The cover of this story can be found on deviousxgirl deviantart.

This is the 634th day of my stay in Ylisse. 17 months after your passing.

It is the memory of your words that made me pick up the quill and write this entry.To help me recover my lost memories, you said, and to preserve the new ones I make in this world.

I never had the courage before... It is only after I found your writing in the royal journal kept in the castle that I could make the decision to share with you my dreams and days.

But I do wonder…what good would lost memories serve when I can't forge new ones with you?

Chapter 01

Departure

This was a checkmate.

Was it?

Robin leaned in nearer to the wooden chessboard, examining the last pieces that were still left standing. Five blacks. Two whites. The white ones constituted only of a Knight who was quite far away from the King it was supposed to protect. The Black Queen seemed as if it was towering high over the two white pieces, full of pride of her power as it stood in a position so strategic that it could hack off either the King or the remaining Knight with ease.

It was a checkmate.

Strange. Robin circled his table, hand moving deliberately to his chin. He had moved the White Army so delicately as to draw them closer and ambush them with the Ministers. His original plan had backfired it seemed. But how? He was sure the new tactic would work—would at least deplete the enemy of its highest ranking generals. Had his imrpovisations messed things up?

A knock on his door roused him from his thoughts. "Rob," his Lord and friend's voice called from outside of the dimly lit room. "May I come in?"

Robin straightened up as he eased his stiff muscles. "Please do, Your Majesty."

The door swung open and Chrom, wrapped in royal linens of blue, walked in. He stopped a few paces away from Robin's table, unable to go further due to the papers and books that were littering the floor. Should a new guard or servant come into this room unarmed with the knowledge of the occupant, one would certainly think that the room was a silent witness to a robbery attempt.

Robin turned to give a slight bow to the royal. "Excuse my appearance. You did come at an ungodly hour," he said. He was dressed in simple trousers and shirt which he had slept and worked in for the whole day. Well, as far as he knew, his definition of 'efficiency' and 'time management' had rarely been positively received by those around him. Being one of the few souls who had known him the longest, Robin suspected that Chrom's raised eyebrows and brief silence meant that he too failed to understand said definition.

"I did, so no worries there," the young Lord said as he stepped cautiously around. "You might also want to drop the formality when we're alone like so many times I have told you."

Sleepy eyes were closing. "Yo. 'Sup, Chrom?"

"Something less extreme would be better, thank you. And I think I have given you this privilege of having servants to help keeping your room in order." There was that despairing look that he often gave him at the start of meetings. "That's what servants in the castle are for, you know. I didn't hire them just to empty pots and mop the floor."

Robin brushed the notion away with a movement of his hand. "Servants will only mess things up."

"Mess things up? Then what do you call this?" Chrom asked, emphasizing the whole room that was literally covered in literatures and strange gears of Robin's own making.

"An organized chaos."

Chrom shook his head, stifling a laugh. His eyes fell upon the chessboard on the table. "And what were you doing at this 'ungodly hour,' as you put it?"

Robin sat perched on the edge of his table. Even without the help of a mirror, he knew his eyes would look quite bleary and his silver hair tousled. "Trying to defeat myself. Figuring out a new strategy in hopes of finding a better one from the current ones I've stored in memory. No admirable progress so far, if you would like to know of the result. What about you? What brought the Lord of Ylisse to his humble subject's chambers in the middle of the night?"

Carefully as to not step on his friend's belongings, Chrom made way to a nearby chair and sat on it. "We've just received a report from the border far north."

"Another bandit attack?"

"Yes. Three villages in the north fell victim to it."

Instantly the strain on his shoulders felt as if it had doubled up. He pulled his eyebrows down into a frown and his eyes narrowed at the space between him and his friend. "Ferocious. Unusual for them."

"Unusual or not this situation calls for a swift departure. We can't let them linger for long. Especially not with the Risen threatening to appear at any time now that their blades have spilled blood."

"I know. You'll send men to route them?"

"I was planning on going there, actually," Chrom said as he picked up a gear sitting close to his feet that was Robin's best attempt at clock construction. "I won't be joining the hunt, but I need to let the villagers know that their Exalt cares for them."

"Wise decision, I suppose. The morale of the people has just been risen from the birth of the royal baby. You'd be foolish to let it drop."

"I know. We will only join the soldiers halfway. We will stay for a night or two to deliver the ransom ourselves and strengthen the defenses."

Robin narrowed his eyes at that. "We?"

Chrom ignored the look Robin was giving him, and his relaxed stance told Robin that his friend had come without any intention to debate. Her wife, the Queen, Sumia, had just delivered their first child three months ago, indicating the beginning of the peaceful era many had waited long to come—no matter how brief it may last. The royal baby's birth had called for celebrations; bards had come to the castle presenting their songs of the prosperity Lucina's birth entailed, and many gifts from peasants and nobles alike had showered the royal couple even after weeks passed by. It was very understandable, the widespread glee... The recent clash with Plegia had demoralised the people. Although Ylisse had ended up victorious, the sacrifice the halidom had to pay was of a high price and it would forever be a stain in its history.

Gingerly, Chrom put down the unfinished clockwork on the floor. "Sumia will come with me. She insists. She will be fine as I know we will all be, just like the old days. And plus, this isn't in any way a grand mission whatsoever."

"Grand or not, a long travel is bound to be tiring for a mother who's just—" Robin abruptly stopped and let his shoulders sag. If he knew his friend half as well as he thought he did, then he'd bet that further attempts in persuation would never appeal to him. "I'm never going to convince you two, aren't I?" he chanced to ask.

"I'm afraid not. Not in this kind of matter."

"There are so many better alternatives than this. Well. A small revision: not many, but I can certainly see quite a few if you'd kindly sit there and listen."

Robin was being himself, and so was Chrom. It was his forte and job as a tactician to concern himself over the smallest detail and every possibility an option could lead to, but even the most intricate of plans and carefully worded advice would worth nothing if they fell on deaf ears. "You know what you're good at, Rob," Chrom said, and Robin saw it as a feeble attempt loosen him up. "Do that and victory will be assured."

He sighed in defeat. "Your wish is my command, I guess. When will you leave?"

"Tomorrow morning."

Robin winced. "Reasonable. Though unkind on a sleepless few."

"Blame the late reports. Either way we shall march before dawn. You'll be in charge of the matters here while I'm away. You shall presume the title of Grand Master starting from tomorrow."

"Understood. Just be sure to bring enough Winged Riders with you."

"I've notified them."

They both fell silent. A comfortable, knowing silence that only those who had been fighting side by side for years could share.

"A lot's changed," Chrom remarked finally. His gaze rested on the small oil lamp that was illuminating the room in a weak orange shade before travelling back to Robin's face. He was wearing a tired, vacant expression that many had commented upon in these last few months. "You have too, Rob. What's troubling you?"

"Tactics. Strategies. Plans. Your halidom. Your stubbornness."

Chrom waited.

Robin opened his mouth to prolong his list or throw in another remark about how overly worried Chrom was, but promptly closed it again. When he spoke, his voice was hollow and he let his gaze linger on the unfinished clockwork on the floor. "The past."

It was truth, yet it also felt like a child's poor trial in lying. For some, the past was something they could look at with fondness, a place where they could visit to draw strength whenever they felt pressured by the present. For others whom the reality had not been as kind, it was a dangerous place full of regrets and hurt, a territory some had told him they were glad they had traversed through. But for him, it was simply a blank note full of question marks and his own endless list of what-ifs.

Chrom seemed to see his hesitation to elaborate. In a softer voice, he said, "You still can't remember a thing."

It wasn't a question. Robin had carried only his clothes and name with him when Chrom had found him on a field of grass three years ago. Chrom once told him he still remembered how confused Robin had been, how at times when he'd thought no one would notice, his glance would become vacant as they traveled to faraway places his memories could not name.

"I've been remembering bits and pieces, lately," he said, trying to control his voice and avoiding his friend's gaze. "But everything is insignificant. Haphazard images, voices I don't recognize, lands I have yet to set a foot on." He closed his eyes and rubbed them. "Sorry. I'm just tired."

"Just know that you can always share your burden with me. I am your friend before I am your lord. That fact won't change. If only you'd heed my advice for once and stop overthinking now…"

One end of Robin's mouth twitched humorlessly. "Oh yeah, remind me again why there's been no successful attempt of assassination at the castle."

"Hey, any hideous attempts on me have failed—"

"Exactly because I overthink matters," Robin cut in. "And still you will not rethink your decision about allowing your wife to go with you."

He did not like the grin that was spreading on Chrom's face. "At least we share one same trait on stubbornness."

"But she could get killed, Chrom," he tried to press on. "She would be fatigued more easily and—"

Chukling, Chrom stood up. "I'll hear no more of this, friend." As he made his way to the door, he turned to look at Robin. "Stop worrying over small things and just prepare for whatever you need to prepare. We will be counting on you."

The door swung shut and Chrom walked away. He would never hear his friend sigh and mutter, "Worrying over small things is what's precisely in my job description, you oaf."

- A -

The dawn arrived too soon for Robin's liking but he dragged his feet to the gates all the same. As the Grand Master of the realm, he would need to see the royal party before they went.

Chrom and a small group of his own choosing had been assembled. Tens of Pegasii and an ominous looking Wyvern—he never understood why one would go far lengths to tame such a beast, let alone ride one—had also gathered, with bags and travelling equipments strapped on their sides. The horses were maintaining a good distance from the pack of beasts. Carriages of supplies had been lined up, a carriage of ornate design containing baby Lucina was among them.

Stahl was the first to give Robin a greeting by means of a slap on the back. "Wake up, Tactician," he said as Robin felt the air leaving his lungs in a cough. "Or do you only respond to your new title now?"

"Spare me your jokes. I only got three hours of rest," Robin said. He nodded at the others, and at Sumia's beaming smile he almost cringed. "Nice to see you in good health, Your Grace."

The Queen of Ylisse, who was clad in her knight armor, smiled. A sweet smile that told nothing of the clumsy person she was underneath. "I heard about your concern over my well-being, Rob. That's very thoughtful and sweet of you, but I will be fine, thank you. To be truthful, I've never felt better."

Robin chanced a look at a scarlet-haired woman who was standing beside the Queen; the only person whose expression was mirroring his own. "I assume your good counsel had also been dismissed, Lady Cordelia?"

"I'm afraid so," replied the Pegasus Knight. Her armor had been polished, Robin saw, and her lance had a new carving on its oiled blade. If there was any other person whose life was solely dedicated to her job the same way Robin was to his, it would be Cordelia. To reward her of her servitude in the last campaign, she had been bestowed upon the rank of a general in the Shepherds as well as the leader of the mounted knights Chrom had managed to unite under his banner. On missions with the royal family she would be the one to be tasked with the responsibility of protecting and attending to Sumia if no other knights were with her.

Robin felt the slightest bit of relief at the thought of Cordelia marching beside the Queen. He knew the knight would do everything necessary to keep the royals safe.

Chrom said to Robin, "I'll keep you informed through the doves."

"That you do."

To Cordelia: "I shall leave the capital's defenses to you and the knights, Cordelia."

"What?!" Robin exclaimed, perplexed. His eyes darted between Chrom and Cordelia; the latter's face was grim and unaccepting.

With eyes still trained at Chrom and Sumia, Cordelia spoke in a bitter tone, "Apologies, Grand Master. It seems that I have also failed to convince them to bring me along. The royal family insisted that I remain to watch over the capital, no matter how I tried to persuade them otherwise."

Chrom merely smiled. "None could be entrusted with the task but you, at least in my opinion. Frederick and Stahl will march with me, and I'm certain they're capable commanders and warriors. Or do you think lowly of my judgement, Cordelia?"

Instantly the Pegasus Knight's face changed. Fear seeped first into those scarlet orbs, then they were drained out of any emotions, a mask of placidity taking over, all happening in a blink of an eye. No one seemed to have noticed but Robin—who had been paying close attention to her demeanor. An old habit of his.

"No," she said, bowing her head as strands of hair curtaining her face from view. "Or course not, Your Grace. I never did."

"I'm glad. Now then." Chrom turned to Robin and patted his shoulder. "Stay sharp, my friend."

He thought of some objection, of anything to rebut, of any reason of logic so Chrom would add more members to his party, but knew his fears were unreasonable. The city of Ylisstol needed as much men as Chrom did and more to ensure its safety from prying eyes. In the end all he could do was managing a curt reply. "And you."

Chrom issued the order to mount and the knights and soldiers did as they were told. Cordelia, Robin and the few officers of Ylisstol who went to see them off gave a salute, and off the royal party went, leaving Robin with a heavy heart.

He was not fond of the idea of being parted from his friend, disliked the many possibilities of danger that seemed to always tail the royal blood of Ylisse wherever they went. He had failed a royal family member once. He would see that he wouldn't commit the same error.