"How did you get so good at that?" Rin sighs, voice too breathless to consider accusing, and it might have almost been a compliment, but there was an edge to it, a little bit of jealousy and Nitori would have been touched if it wasn't absolutely none of his business.

He looked up at Rin from the tiled floor and shrugged in attempt to appear unaffected, warm spray of water doing nothing to help conceal the blush on his face. It wasn't that he felt ashamed of his sexual history. He was fine with people knowing; some might even consider him proud (there weren't many things he was good at, but this was something and it was something he could share). But the thought of Rin knowing tied his stomach up in knots for reasons he couldn't quite comprehend; he wasn't sure why but he knew he this wasn't a conversation he wanted to have.

Rin was softer than he gave himself credit for - vulnerable, prone to shining a negative light on everything . He didn't want Rin to think he wasn't special, didn't want him to think he was just another notch in his bedpost. There was casual sex and then there was Rin.

He didn't respond immediately. Instead he stood up and finished rinsing in silence, then stepped out of the shower without another word on the subject – maybe he was being stubborn, but he wasn't going to have this conversation in a locker shower on his knees. It was going to be sitting down, face-to-face (even if Nitori could barely bring himself to look Rin in the eye).

"Ai?" Rin asked as he stepped out, voice less breathless but more accusing and Nitori didn't like the sound of it one bit.

"Ah… Nagisa told me how," he said finally, sitting down on the bench but still looking anywhere but at Rin's face; he didn't want Rin to know but he didn't want to lie, either, and Nagisa's advice was half the truth, anyway. (Rin could see right through him, anyway. Lying would just mean he had something to hide. He didn't have anything to hide. He didn't.)

He didn't seem terribly surprised, all things conisdered; Nagisa had a reputation and it wasn't exactly a wrong reputation. Rin didn't quite seem to believe that was the whole story, either.

Well, he wasn't wrong.

"And I used to… with Mikoshiba…"

To his credit, Rin's eyebrows only jumped halfway up his forehead instead of flying right off his face. "Oh?" he said, posed like a question but Nitori knew it wasn't. His voice was thoughtful, quiet, closing off by the second and Nitori had no idea what to do, no idea how to stop it.

In a panic he reached out, grabbing Rin's hand and holding it tight - don't close yourself off, not again. Nitori spent a year trying to slip through Rin's walls and he wasn't going to let something stupid like a few sympathy blowjobs swapped after practice set him back.

Rin jumped and turned to look at him, eyebrows drawn together, a confused look on his face and - he looked sort of stupid, actually. Nitori might have laughed. "A few times," he answered Rin's question anyway, even though he knew Rin wasn't expecting an answer (it was an under exaggeration, but Rin didn't need to know that). He squeezed Rin's hand, forcing a smile but the effort behind his expression didn't necessarily make it fake. "We never held hands, though."

Rin sighed, and for the first time Nitori realized he'd been holding his breathe. "I'm an idiot, aren't I?"

This time Nitori did laugh out loud, a high, clear noise that echoed in the empty locker room; his relief could be heard in every reverberation. "Maybe a little."

Nitori felt a squeeze. "Sorry for being stupid."

He returned the squeeze in a heartbeat, smile already back to its usual brightness. "I forgive you," he leaned forward, placed a chaste kiss on Rin's cheek. "Cuddling when we get back to the room?"

Rin laughed in return, a little less sure but still just as relieved. "Let's at least get dressed first."