MORNING CAME FAR TOO QUICKLY in my opinion. It felt like I had only just closed my eyes when my alarm started blaring out a song that I didn't actually recognise. Not at first, at least. And then I realised it was that Avril Lavigne song. Hello Kitty. Ugh, didn't they ever get tired of playing that? It was good the first few times. After awhile, though, it got annoying. Very annoying.

"C'mon, Rose, we gotta get up," Lissa yawned beside me, prodding me. I didn't respond, thinking that maybe she would think I was still asleep, "I know you're awake. I can feel it." Damn.

"Damn him." I groaned, slowly rolling out of bed. And by rolling out of bed, I meant that literally. I groaned again as my body hit the ground with a thud. I was so not a morning person. Lissa peered over the edge at me in confusion and slight concern, and I stuck my hand up to say that I was fine before pushing myself upright, licking my lips in disgust. Ugh. Morning mouth. "I'll be right back," I yawned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, "M'gonna take a quick shower." If there were ever a day for me to start drinking coffee... I trudged my way over to the bathroom and turned on the shower, stripping down and hopping in. The hot water helped wake me up and, after washing and conditioning my hair (thankfully unchanged by the transformation) and washing my body, I got out and dried off. I brushed my teeth, careful of my new fangs, before making my way out of the bathroom with the brush. Lissa stood there, holding out the work out clothes (and a pair of underwear and a bra) she'd brought for me.

"Thanks," I said as she passed me, taking her turn in the shower. I dressed quickly, pulling my hair up into a messy bun. I rummaged through my own drawers, pulling out a bra, pair of underwear, and some work out clothes for Lissa. Normally, she and I would never share underclothes. Not with each other, and not with anyone else. However, in this situation, neither one of us really had a choice. It was gross, but you did what you had to do, right? She wasn't long in the shower, and when she exited (wrapped in a towel, much like I had been), I passed her the clothes. She made a face but otherwise said nothing, returning to the bathroom to change.

"You're going to want to wear your hair up," I advised her when she returned again. Seeing her wear my clothes was one of the weirdest experiences of my life, "either in a ponytail or a bun. It'll get in the way otherwise." She nodded and put it up in a ponytail. I grabbed the work out bag (surprised at how heavy it actually was, but made no complaints) and two water bottles, filling them up before throwing them in the bag with a towel. "Alright," I sighed, checking my phone, "we're going to be late. But he's kinda used to that by now."

We left the dorm and headed down to the gym. Although the sun bothered me, it wasn't as detrimental to me as it had been last night – since it'd be going down soon anyways. When Dimitri saw us, he did a double take. I think he'd been convinced that last night had been a dream. I didn't blame him.

"Sorry we're late, Guardian Belikov," Lissa apologised. He chuckled and I put the bag down, sweating already. Oh, this was not going to be fun.

Dimitri stood in front of us. I could tell that he had no idea where to start. Finally, he glanced back towards the track and I resisted the urge to groan. Not this again. "We'll start with laps," he said, and although I loved his voice, I hated his words. "There are 3 laps to a mile. Princess, we'll start with 12 laps, Rose..."

I scowled, "No way. If she's doing twelve laps, then I will too," I stated firmly. I hated the laps. I hated him going easy on me even more, though. "You're not going easy on me just because I'm a Moroi."

He hesitated, then nodded. "Don't push yourself too hard, Rose. If you're going to pass out, stop. Your pride isn't worth your health." I disagreed, but nodded anyways. We started to stretch, though the both of us had to show Lissa a few, and started on the track.

I could see him keeping a worried eye on me, as did Lissa, but I ignored it. The sun was bothering me, I felt weak and nauseous again, though not nearly as bad as I had when it had been high in the sky. I was struggling to breathe a little, the cold air piercing my lungs. Still, I wouldn't stop. I had to keep going. It was on the ninth lap that my legs gave up – quite suddenly, the bastards – and I wound up collapsing. Lissa and Dimitri were at my sides immediately.

"Rose, I told you," Dimitri chastised, helping me up. When it became apparent that my legs weren't going to hold me, he sighed and lifted me into his arms. Why was it that, whenever he wound up carrying me, I felt like shit? Why couldn't I actually enjoy being in his arms for once? Lissa cracked a smile at that but was too worried to otherwise respond. We went back inside, where she passed me one of the water bottles and a granola bar that Dimitri had found for me, both of which I downed quickly.

"Sorry," I grumbled, "this stupid body... can't handle a little sunlight..." I forced myself to stand and, although my legs were shaky, and I was a little bruised from my sudden faceplant, I was otherwise fine.

"Rose..."

"I'm fine, Liss. I want to continue." I frowned. Dimitri nodded and showed me the lifts and reps he wanted me to do before showing Lissa some basic kicks, punches and blocks. For awhile, I didn't pay attention to anything but what I was doing, forcing this stupid body into working with me. After awhile, however, I began to listen in and even watch what Dimitri and Lissa were doing.

"Not quite like that, Princess. Pivot your hips. No, the other way. There. Bring your arms in closer, like this. Yes, there you go. Bring them up a little higher – no no, too high. Little lower. Good, good. Now when you swing, swing with your entire body. Not just your arms." He guided. I paused in my lifting, my own muscles screaming at me for putting it through such foreign labour.

"It's all connected, Liss," I said, breathing harder than I'd like to admit. "It's not just your arms doing the work. You have to use your entire upper body, to give yourself power, while your lower body works on keeping your balance."

Dimitri nodded. "Rose, show her," he suggested. I had to wonder why he couldn't do it, but I was grateful for the break – even if that "break" was just a different form of work out. Maybe he was testing to see whether I could land a punch in this stupid Moroi body. I stood up and walked over to them, towards the practice dummies, and moved into position. Sliding my left leg forward (I was right handed) and bending my knees slightly, I bounced on the balls of my feet to test my legs. Because who knew how strong my legs were, how much they'd still hold me up, after everything today. I brought my arms up and aimed a couple good jabs at the dummy's abdomen, then another to his face, one reminiscent of the punch I gave Mia Rinaldi months ago. I added in a kick or two for good measure, joy spreading through me. Although I had lost a lot of my dhampir strength in the change over, I was still happy to note that my kicks were still stronger than my punches. At least some things didn't change.

When I finished, I turned back to Dimitri and Lissa, brushing an errant lock of hair out of my eyes. Lissa seemed intrigued, eager to try again, and Dimitri seemed a little more relaxed. Yeah, I guess that's all it was. He was just seeing how much I could still do. Which reminded me. "Hey, Comrade, are we going to do any training with stakes?" I asked. Considering we'd been working with them before the holidays, it made sense. To my dismay, however, the relaxed expression tensed up and he shook his head.

"No, she's not ready," Dimitri replied sternly, "and you're..."

"I can handle it," I argued, huffing.

"Rose, if you cut yourself with it..." Ahh, yeah I figured that was the problem.

"I can handle it," I repeated, firm. He shook his head, his eyes saying that this matter was not up for discussion. Like hell it wasn't.

"Not today, Rose. I don't want to risk it."

"But-!"

"Plus," Lissa added, interrupting me, "deny it all you want, but you're exhausted."

"It's nothing," I grumbled, looking away, "as a dhampir, this would have been just a warm up."

Dimitri sighed, "Rose, you're not a dhampir right now. You have to work within your body's limits." He glanced up at the clock and ran a hand through his hair. I glowered. "Take Lissa back to her dorm, Rose. Practice is done for today."

In a thoroughly pissed off mood now, I gave him a curt nod and reached for my bag. Before I could even touch it, however, Lissa had thrown it over her shoulders, giving me a firm look when I went to argue. If I had wanted to, I could have compelled her to give it back, but she would never use compulsion on me and I would never use compulsion on her. Plus, I really was too tired to argue, as much as I hated to admit it. So, with a dark look on my face to contrast Lissa's happy one, we headed out the door. I glanced up, relieved to note that the sun had already set and the sky was an evening blue.

"We should stop in and see Headmistress Kirova first," Lissa mused as we headed back towards the Moroi dorms, "to talk about the whole feeder issue." I grimaced at the reminder but nodded, changing my direction. As it was still fairly early in the Moroi day, we didn't bump into anyone. Well, except Eddie and Christian, who stared at us in shock. I groaned.

"C'mon," I said, "we're going to see Kirova. We'll explain along the way." They nodded, apparently too dumbstruck for words, and followed beside us. Lissa gave me a confused look, probably wondering why I didn't just compel them to forget, before glancing at Christian. I could see how nervous she was. She was probably experiencing what I had felt last night with Dimitri. Wordlessly, I tried to send encouraging feelings through the bond. It's not as easy as it sounds.

"They were going to find out eventually, Liss," I said out loud, "and if there's anyone I want on our side, aside from Dimitri and Alberta, it's them."

Christian finally tore his eyes from Lissa to look over at me. That seemed to startle him more than Lissa's appearance did. It made sense – as a dhampir, Lissa didn't look too too different. She was still fairly pale, just a normal pale not a Moroi pale, still had the green eyes and blonde hair and the same face. Really, all that had changed was that she lacked fangs, was a little shorter, had gained more muscles, and now had the curves that many Moroi women desired. Me, on the other hand, I looked... very different. I still had my own face, still had my dark eyes and hair, but that was pretty much the only thing that hadn't changed. I was taller, taller than Eddie but not quite as tall as Christian, thinner despite my muscles, tanned for a Moroi but very pale for a dhampir, and of course had fangs. I'd seen Eddie take one look at the fangs and grow pale himself, no doubt remembering back to the house. Since then, I had been making a conscious effort to keep them hidden but, again, easier said than done. "Rose? Lissa? What happened?" He finally asked, "Why are you..."

I sighed, "Spirit. I was in her head while she was trying to get into my dreams and our best guess is that it caused some sort of Spirit backlash. So now Lissa is a shadow-kissed dhampir and I'm apparently a Spirit using Moroi. It happened last night. Kirova gave us a month to figure it out and change us back. If we don't figure it out by then, she's telling the Queen."

Eddie looked at me in confusion, "how did you manage to get her to give you that long? Last I heard, she wasn't really the type to do you any favours." I looked at Lissa guiltily.

"I... uh... may have accidentally figured out how to use compulsion." I admitted.

"It was an accident," Lissa affirmed, "but definitely a convenient one."

"I'll bet," Christian chuckled. He looked at me, "why don't you just try to reverse the process? Y'know, Lissa get inside your head while you're trying to reach Lissa's dreams."

Lissa looked thoughtful, but my expression darkened, "we don't know how much we can do yet. To do that, Lissa needs to be able to get in and out of my head at will, and I need to build up my strength in Spirit. I may have the same capabilities as Lissa – I have to, since that's the only way the bond would still be working – but compulsion alone still knocks me on my ass."

"So..." Eddie hedged, "why're we heading to Kirova? If she already knows, I mean."

This is where I grew uncomfortable. I hesitated, again looking at Lissa, unsure where to start. "Uh, well, being Moroi comes with an... unfortunate side effect. One she didn't necessarily count on..." I bit my lip, wincing at the fangs. Right. Forgot about those. Eddie blanched and Christian raised an eyebrow. Dammit, why could everyone do that but me?

"So I assume Lissa fed you last night, then."

Lissa and I both blinked, startled that he figured it out that fast. She looked at Christian, blushing. Wow. I forgot how weak a Moroi's blush really was. I had never seen her so red. "How'd you know?"

"Because," Christian shrugged, "Rose did it for you when you were gone. And, knowing you, you'd want to return the favour. It's your turn to take care of her, right?" She didn't respond. Neither did I. We didn't have to. He was right, and he knew it. Before anyone could say anything else, we arrived at Kirova's office and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

I had never noticed it before, but she had two Guardians outside her door. Why? Why was that necessary? She wasn't the Queen. They should have been doing other things, securing the school, teaching a class, whatever. Paranoid old hag. Lissa looked at me sharply and I glanced away. Right. Bond. I turned to them, taking a deep breath as I called the Spirit to me. It was getting a little easier, but Guardians were still Guardians and it was hard to compel one, let alone two. "Leave," I said firmly, putting as much power into my voice as I could without completely overwhelming myself, "Kirova's told you to take a break. There's nothing unusual about this. Don't come back until after... after third period. Forget you ever saw us." They nodded and left. I leaned against the wall, forcing myself to shake off the dizziness. Yep, Guardians were still Guardians.

"You okay?" Lissa frowned, touching my arm, "you know you shouldn't use that much Spirit." Eddie hovered nearby as I forced myself to stop leaning, ready to catch me if I stumbled or wavered, while Christian stared. He hadn't been expecting me to use compulsion, I guess. It almost made me laugh, if not for the absurdity of the situation. Seeing Eddie so protective left me feeling oddly conflicted. On one hand, he was taking his duty seriously, treating me as if I really was a Moroi, and that was sort of a good thing. It meant he'd be a good Guardian one day – but of course, I already knew that. On the other hand, he was treating me as if I was a Moroi and not Rose, and that annoyed me. He met my eyes and I relaxed slightly. Well, okay, maybe he still saw me as Rose. This was weird for him too.

"Yeah," I finally replied to Lissa, "I'm fine, Liss. Just a little tired. It's hard to gauge how much Spirit I need to compel. Compulsion isn't as easy as it looks, especially not with Guardians," I glanced over at Christian, giving him the approximation of an apology for my constant teasing of his shitty compulsion job. Sure, his compulsion really did suck, but I'd been so used to Lissa's ease at using it that I'd forgotten just how hard it actually was for most Moroi. The fact that he'd managed anything on a Guardian was pretty good. Not to say he didn't suck. Because he did. But still.

She nodded and, before anyone else could come by and force me to use more compulsion, we walked inside Kirova's office. To my amusement, she jumped in surprise, clearly startled by our presence. "Hathaway! Princess! What on earth are you doing here?" Oh, you know, just looking for a change in scenery. What a stupid question, what do you think we're doing here, you pretentious old hag. Lissa gave me another look, but I could tell she was trying not to laugh. Christian continued to watch us. It was kinda funny, really. Usually I was only in Kirova's office if I was in trouble. She seemed to notice Eddie and Christian a moment later, and if her drawn on eyebrows got any higher, I swear they would have flown away. "Mister Castile, Mister Ozera, why...?"

"They found us on the way, Headmistress," Lissa answered politely, "and it seemed pointless to compel them, considering I'm dating Christian and Eddie's one of Rose's closest friends. So we told them what happened."

"Very well," she pursed her lips. Lady, when your eyebrows are about to take off from your face, don't purse your lips. You look like... well, there really are no words to describe what you look like. Except maybe dumb. And constipated. "But that doesn't excuse your presence in my office."

"Yeah, well," I put my hands on my (sadly, slimmer) hips, using attitude to disguise my discomfort at this situation, "you kinda forgot an important problem in this transformation."

"Oh? Enlighten me, miss Hathaway, what problem would that be."

"I'm a Moroi," I pointed out. She rolled her eyes. Were Headmistreses even allowed to do that?

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious, miss Hathaway. Is that all?"

"Moroi drink blood," I continued, shifting slightly on my feet both in discomfort and, well, I was still kinda wavering. Eddie noticed and took a step closer. So did Lissa. I glared at them both, but neither one of them backed off. Ugh. Understanding dawned on Kirova's face and she sighed. Oh great.

"Mister Castile, would you be so kind as to bring Guardian Petrov and Guardian Belikov to my office? Mister Ozera, you can get Lord Ivashkov."

"Why can't they go?" Christian huffed. Like me, he didn't like being bossed around.

"It is the middle of the school day, mister Ozera," That was a bit of a stretch. It was only first period, "we want as few people to know about this ... mishap as possible. Now go."

The next ten minutes of waiting were nearly unbearable. Kirova, once again, began to pace behind her chair, her eyebrows still looking as if they could fly away any second. Lissa hovered around me, worried that I'd pass out and it wasn't until I snapped at her and sat down that she stopped. Well, sort of. She pulled up a chair and sat beside me. God, was I like this? How annoying. Finally Alberta, Dimitri and Eddie arrived, with Adrian and Christian following only a few minutes behind. Adrian plopped down in the final seat, smirking at the two of us – damn him – while Dimitri, Eddie and Alberta took up positions against the back wall. Kirova's pacing continued, picking up speed. Dear lord I hope she'd fall through the floor soon. Or fly away. She was making me dizzy.

"It has come to my attention," she began, stopping suddenly to press both hands against her comfortable looking chair, "that we have overlooked Miss Hathaway's new... shall we say, dietary needs." You mean, you have overlooked them.

Dimitri shifted, no doubt remembering me feeding from Lissa last night.

"So, this is how we will proceed. At 2pm every night, Lord Ivashkov, you will accompany one of the overnight feeders to Hathaway's dorm. Guardian Petrov, Guardian Belikov, each of you will take alternating shifts accompanying Lord Ivashkov. If you find anyone out of their beds, Lord Ivashkov, you must compel the to forget what they've seen. You must also compel the feeder to forget each night – at least, until Hathaway can use compulsion with little to no effect on herself or the Princess. Are we in agreement?" Alberta and Dimitri nodded, as did Adrian, although he seemed annoyed at being bossed around. I didn't blame him.

"Mister Ozera, Mister Castile, I'm sure you can appreciate the severity of this situation. If you feel the desire to talk to your classmates about miss Hathaway and Princess Vasilisa's... situation, I urge you to exercise some restraint and refrain from doing so. This is something you must keep to yourselves."

Eddie and Christian nodded. What was with the high and mighty language? Yeesh.

"If that is all?" Lissa and I nodded, "then you may leave."

"I love how she thinks she can just tell me what to do," Adrian huffed, lighting a cigarette the moment we were outside. Alberta and Eddie went off to the novice classes – Alberta to teach and Eddie to learn – while Christian went off to his own classes. That left Dimitri, Adrian and Lissa to walk with me to my dorm.

"Well, I mean, it's not like she has a choice. You're the only one who can use compulsion without feeling really weak after. And she needs a Spirit user to take the feeder, just in case you do see someone." Lissa frowned.

Me? I was thinking about something else. "Hey, why are we all going to my room anyways?"

"Figured we'd see just how good your Spirit was, little dhampir," Adrian shrugged. Dimitri made no comment, but I could tell he was slightly weirded out by that entire statement. And yeah, it weirded me out too. I mean, being called little dhampir when I'm a Moroi? I appreciated the semblance of normality that Adrian was trying to offer, but it was still weird. I'm pretty sure Dimitri was only following to make sure I wasn't going to pass out or anything. I shrugged; what did I care? Not like I had classes anyways, right?

I grabbed a couple pillows and flopped down on the floor, leaning against my bed while Lissa followed beside me. Dimitri checked the windows and the doors and stood against the wall nearest me. Well, he did for a few minutes, before his curiousity finally took over and he began to actually look at my room. It reminded me of what my mom did when she first saw my room. And, with a start, I realised that yeah, Dimitri had never actually seen my room before. He ran his fingers over the books on animal behaviour, as well as the others on St. Vladimir and Anna that I had borrowed from the priest, looking at me in surprise. I shrugged, before a thought occurred to me; I wonder if this ever happened to Anna and St. Vlad? Lissa looked at me, no doubt surprised that neither one of us had thought to look. Adrian, after standing near the window for a few minutes, finally walked back over to us and sat down across from me.

"So we know you can use compulsion," Adrian said finally, "how many times have you used it so far?"

I paused. "let's see, there's the first time with Kirova. Then the dorm matron. Then the two Guardians outside Kirova's office. So that's three times. One Moroi and three dhampirs." He nodded.

"And how have you felt after each time?"

I blinked, "well, I didn't even notice when I compelled Kirova, so I felt fine. I felt like passing out after the dorm matron – but then again, I had tried to compel her to forget," that, and I hadn't fed, "and I'm still tired from the Guardians outside Kirova's office. Still weak. But... I'm otherwise fine, I think. It's getting a little easier."

"So you've got compulsion down," Adrian nodded, "basically. I guess we should see if you can heal."

I frowned, "but no one's hurt." Well, except me and my bruises from this morning's faceplant. I paused all thoughts when Adrian raked his nails along his arm, drawing blood. I yelped, nearly falling over in my shock. "Adrian, what the hell?! Are you insane?" What a dumb question. Yet, I couldn't help but stare at it. "You're an idiot, you know that?" I muttered. Why did he do that? It probably hurt a lot. I hated it. He was a Moroi. An asshole, a bit of a pest, but still a Moroi. I was supposed to protect them from getting hurt. And yet, there he was, bleeding. I couldn't allow that. I had to do something – they come first, they aren't supposed to hurt and bleed. Not when I'm supposed to be a Guardian.

"Rose?"

A surge of warmth spread through me. Not just warmth, but a blissful fire that made all the nerves in my body tingle as it swirled inside. There were no words to describe such an intoxicating feeling. It was light and love and beauty and joy and music and power. It swirled and sang within me, leaving my heart aching. It overwhelmed me. It was euphoria, better than any feeling I'd ever felt before. I reached, shakily, for the self-inflicted injuries, felt the golden feeling swell up and burst forth from me.

And then, just as suddenly as it appeared, the feeling was gone. So were the marks.

"Holy shit." I whispered, staring down at his arm as a wave of dizziness replaced the warmth. I leaned against the bed, glancing over at Lissa, then Dimitri, then Adrian in shock. "Did... Did I do that?"

Lissa looked at me in surprise, "it feels different through the bond. Did you know that? Not as powerful as when it is first hand."

I blinked, "explains why I didn't recognise the feelings. Wow." I blinked away tears, feeling ashamed at my weakness. Dimitri reached into my mini cooler and brought over a granola bar and a can of coke. I looked at him in thanks and immediately started on the granola bar, suddenly ravenous.

"Did you know," Lissa added, "that when you use Spirit, your eyes change?"

"Well, yeah," I shrugged, "it's the same way with Moroi. Your eyes take on a more intense look. Christian's eyes burn like blue fire when he's using his magic."

"It's different," Dimitri said slowly, looking at me, "because your eyes take on a golden look. You can see the Spirit in your eyes." Huh.

"Weird." I said, "so... now what. We know I can heal – or at least, we know I can heal minor things – and we know I can use compulsion... what are the other things Lissa can do. Could do. Revive plants, right?"

Adrian nodded, but Lissa shook her head, "no more Spirit for you tonight. You're exhausted, and don't you say you're fine because I can feel you, Rose." I sighed.

"Well, we have to do something," I pointed out. She nodded, mulling it over.

"Why don't you teach me to get inside your head?" I paused. Oh yeah. I guess that was important too.

Nodding, I tried to recall back to when I first needed to get into her head. I'd been in class. She'd been using compulsion. Whose class had I been in? Stan's class? It was after the bloodwho– no wait. That was wrong. There was an earlier time. I'd been spying on her and Christian. Lissa glared at me but I ignored it. I needed to remember everything. It was after Christian set Ralf on fire. I'd been doing... homework? Yeah, I was doing homework, and I felt Lissa being... sneaky. Let's see... I'd been staring off into space, trying to get a feel for what she was doing. I released the mental wall, ignoring my own thoughts and focusing on her. Cleared my head. She looked over at me, and I realised that there needed to be a... catalyst to make it happen. I glanced around the room before my eyes fell on Dimitri. Well. There was one way.

Lissa blushed.

"No, not that!" I laughed, my own cheeks heating up, "besides, everyone in the room knows now, right?" Dimitri looked at me in confusion. Still, I wanted to use that as a last resort. I mean, it may have been – more or less – out in the open now between Lissa, Adrian, Dimitri and I, but I really would have preferred not to broadcast it. That was a little embarrassing. But, really the only other thing I could think of was – oh. That might work. It was horrible, and I didn't want to do it, but it might work. Lissa gave me a sympathetic look and I stood up, shakily. "I'm going over to the window," I said, "if you manage to get in, say something, and I'll see how long I can keep you there. Or, well, how long you can stay in. Really, it's something you gotta learn for yourself, how to get in and out." Adrian snickered at my choice in words and I glanced over at him, glaring. What a child.

She nodded and I walked over to the window, resting my cheek against the cold glass. Dimitri came and stood nearby, though he didn't touch me. Still, his presence calmed me, and that was good enough. My heart pounded as I recalled my escape from the Spokane house. The anxiety I felt as I realised we could use magic. The sudden terror I felt when I thought Christian had misunderstood. The agony of the wrist cuffs burning and melting into my flesh – I heard a gasp – jumping the guards, Mason... I felt my eyes tear up and my throat catch as I remembered how brave he'd been, how it'd been all my fault, but I forced myself to continue. I didn't know how long it'd take Lissa to get in, I needed to give her as much material as I could. I remembered scouting with Mason, the joy I felt when I realised we'd escape, the appearance of the Strigoi, the realisation that I was going to die, my attack on Isaiah and Elena, Mason and the others escaping, Isaiah's annoying speech – somewhere, I swear I heard my name being called, but I was too lost in the memories – Mason returning, trying to drag the attention from him, and then... Isaiah snapping his neck like he was nothing, tossing him aside, Mia's water magic, killing the Strigoi, protecting Mason...

"Rose."

That voice. 'Rose. Drop the sword. Rose.'

"Roza," a hand rested on my shoulder, dragging me from my personal nightmare, my hell. Slowly, just as I had in the house, I became aware of my surroundings. "It's okay," he said gently, just as he had back then, "everything's going to be okay. You're not there anymore." I realised then that I was shaking and crying, silent tears rolling down my cheeks. He wrapped his arms around me and I clung to him – I know I shouldn't have, but in that moment, I needed his strength, needed him like I needed to breathe. He tightened his grip on me. I wiped the tears from my eyes, looking over at Adrian and Lissa. Adrian was studying our auras, a surprisingly somber expression on his face, while Lissa... wasn't blinking. Weird. Is that what I looked like, when I was in her head? She was crying, too, tears rolling down her cheeks as she, no doubt, experienced everything just as I had. She was still in my head, though, so I tried to give her another memory. Preferably a happier one. Well, that was my reason if anyone asked. In reality, I just needed a better memory. I glanced up at Dimitri, thinking back to the bloodwhore rumours, the training. "it won't happen to you" he'd said, "you're too... it won't happen to you." the massaging of salve into my skin, talking about his father, holding my hands, him beating up his father – I could feel a grin spread across my face, remembering back to when everything was, more or less, simple – and my comment "you really are a god." I remembered that warm feeling between us, the way he suddenly reached out to touch my hair, hold it, "wear it up." And then, I remembered waking up in the nurse's office, him waiting for me to wake up, "presents?", the necklace – my expression warped. On one hand, well, the lust charm was definitely a pleasant memory. On the other hand, the circumstances most definitely weren't – the lipgloss that had made me happier than it really should have, the hug, him resting his hands on my lower back, the gentle caress of his fingers on my cheek, my hair, that desire to kiss him... Dimitri ran a hand through my hair, no longer holding me as close but still keeping his other hand on my shoulder, just in case I needed his support. I smiled up at him, knowing my cheeks would be red, and seeing Lissa's own cheeks rather red. At least I didn't think about the lust charm. Or that kiss before the holidays. I brought my hands up to brush away the last of my tears and forced myself to calm down, close my eyes and take deep breaths.

That's enough, I thought gently, Now focus on getting out. Put up that mental wall, I know you can do it.

I knew it'd be easier if I was calm, and I more or less was. We were only practicing the basics right now. Her getting in when I'm in turmoil and getting out when I'm calm. Maybe another time we could practice her getting in when I'm calm and getting out – or staying out – when I'm emotional. But that was hard, even for me, so I didn't want to overwhelm her. I glanced over at her and saw the light return to her eyes, watch her blink a few times. There. Without a word, she'd practically thrown herself into my arms, causing me to stumble back into Dimitri. Lissa whimpered.

"I'm so sorry," she choked, "about Mason. I never... that..." I fought back my own tears again. No. I didn't need to go through that again. Not so soon after the last one. I patted her shoulder, trying to calm her down.

"I-It's okay, Liss. It's okay. It's over now."

"I'd been so jealous. When you took Mia and not me. I was so selfish..."

"It's alright..."

Adrian approached us, and for a bizarre moment I thought he was going to join in the domino-esque embrace. That would have been... odd to say the least. Instead, he stood nearby, silent for a moment as if to gather his thoughts. "Have I ever explained your aura to you, little dhampir?" he asked. I groaned. Oh god. Not another trip to Crazyville.

"Yeah, a few times. Shadows and shit. Except probably not right now, since I'm not shadow-kissed." Adrian seemed to agree with this statement, but only partially.

"Well, yes and no. You still have a trace of shadows, but they more orientate to Lissa now. And Lissa still has traces of gold, but they're more around you. But that's not what I mean. It's just interesting how yours... connect. When you're near each other, it's like... your auras reach out for each other. Brush against each other, like two cats rubbing their scents on the other. And the shadows in your aura right now, Rose, they go towards Lissa. Usually through the top. Your auras are especially connected through the head. It's interesting to watch, They press against each other, perfect mirrors. Especially when she was in your head. Hers were more muted, but she shared the same colours as you. The same sorrow, the same joy..." He shook his head, glancing between Dimitri and I now, "it's very interesting."

I shuddered a little, "I... see. I think I need to sit down now, though." I muttered, pulling away from Dimitri and Lissa to go sit down on my cushion and lean against the bed. My head was hurting – nothing too serious, it just meant I was tired – and I was still rather weak after everything today. Between the physical training, the compulsion, the healing, and now the memories... I really just needed to sleep. Or feed. But I didn't want to do that.

"Rose..."

I shook my head, not bothering to open my eyes to look at her. "No, Liss."

"But-"

"I said no." I growled, "I'm not going to pass out," I doubted that, "so I can wait the... however many hours until tonight."

"Adrian, help me out."

This time I did open my eyes, glaring at them both. A dark rage stirred inside me, surprising me. Already? "No," I growled, standing up to stare them both in the eyes. I wasn't going to use compulsion, but I was sure as shit going to make sure they saw it my way, "this is my body, these are my choices. If I say I don't want to, then I don't want to and you can't make me. Neither of you can. So just fuck off, got it?" I snapped. Lissa flinched and took a step back, no doubt feeling the darkness inside me. "I might have more limitations than I'm used to, but I'll deal with them in my own way. If I want to push myself, I will. If I want to avoid feeding as long as possible, I will and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, you can do about it."

"Rose. Take a deep breath." Dimitri urged, taking a step towards me. I turned my glare on him.

"Will you stop treating me like I'm a Moroi?!" I practically yelled. He froze. Once again I was trembling, this time with rage and not sorrow or fear. But, oddly enough, the anger started to fade. I didn't understand it – how could anger just disappear? Then i glanced over at Lissa and knew. I felt a spark of anger, but nothing like that ugly rage from before. "Lissa, I told you not to do that."

She shrugged, grabbing my coke and taking a sip. "Yeah, well, you needed to stop, and it was obvious you weren't going to see reason," she said bitterly. I bit my lip, glancing at Dimitri in concern. I hoped she wasn't going to snap, like I had. Through the bond, I sent calming words. Deep breaths, Liss, deep breaths. Don't let it control you.

I sat down again, closing my eyes. Now my head was really throbbing. "I think..." I murmured, "I think that's enough Spirit for today. What time is it?"

Dimitri looked down at his watch, "11:30." I was shocked.

"It's Lunch already?" How had we spent three hours on doing basically nothing? It hadn't seemed that long... how long had Lissa been in my head? I glanced at her and she seemed surprised too. I jumped as there was a knock on my door, looking around in alarm. Neither Lissa nor I could answer the door, for obvious reasons. Dimitri couldn't answer the door because no one would exactly be pleased to see my mentor in my bedroom. And Adrian being in my room would probably have the same effect.

"Rose, let us in. We have food."

Christian.

Wow. I can't believe how much of a positive response this has gotten so far. The chapters for this may be slow to update - they're long chapters, and I only have the third one prewritten and I'm actually at a lost at what to do for the third. I'm thinking that, though it's going to try and stick to the timeline of the original books, it may veer off into its own world. However, as soon as this story is done, I do plan on doing a sequel of sorts, set into the future with the next generation. Anyways, hopefully it won't take too long for me to get out.

Luna