Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. Any characters or related settings are not mine and belong to CBS and Jeff Davis unless otherwise stated.
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The plane was quiet, just the rush of the engines and the gentle sifting of Gideon's papers to be heard under the soft mumbles of the senior agent as he spoke to Hotch on the phone. Outside, the sky was black as the plane left Texas and headed towards Quantico, and everyone on the plane was feeling the tiresome effects of the past few days. JJ was already asleep in the corner, curled into the corner of the bench seat, pillow behind her back and blonde hair falling across her face. Across from Reid, Derek Morgan sat with his eyes closed, listening to his iPod through a single earbud, but Spencer knew that he wasn't asleep, or even close, despite the fact that he lifted a hand to sleepily rub at one eye and readjust his position slightly.
Chewing on his lip, Spencer pondered over the thoughts racing through his mind. Over and over, his evening with Elle flew through his mind; the green of the gin bottle, the tired tone of her voice, the burn of the gin as it slid down his throat neat. The scene flashed behind his eyes again and again until he couldn't stand it anymore, and the words just slipped out.
"I should have said something."
Derek was still for a moment before he seemed to register that Spencer had spoken, and then he opened his eyes, frowning slightly at the younger profiler who was watching him out of the corner of his eye, and plucked the headphone out of his ear.
"What?"
Spencer looked over at his friend, turning his seat to face him, a hopeless and somewhat guilty look on his face as he did so, and when he spoke, it was with a defeated tone to his voice.
"To Gideon, or Hotch. Or any of you guys. I talked to Elle that night, and I knew she wasn't right, but…I should have told someone." He nodded as he finished his sentence, speaking it out loud having solidified his belief that he was somehow to blame for what had happened. That if he had just thought to talk to someone that Elle would have been okay, that she wouldn't have gone after Lee. That Hotch wouldn't never even have considered putting her undercover again so soon.
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Derek felt a sense of defeat settle over him at Reid's words. He should have known earlier when the young genius mentioned speaking to Elle that he would be holding onto some kind of misplaced guilt, but with the case in the forefront of his mind, he had completely forgotten about their conversation.
He twirled the earphone cable around his fingertips for a moment before pausing the music and settling forward with his elbows rested on the table. He made sure to catch the other man's eye before he spoke, wanting to know for sure that Spencer was hearing what he had to say loud and clear. Wanting to know that Spencer wasn't off in his own mind, wallowing in guilt and anger at himself for something he could not have helped.
"Reid? Listen to me. Do not do that to yourself. You were just trying to help a friend, you hear me? Don't go there, kid. Elle made her own choice; that's on her."
The entire time he was speaking, he could tell that Spencer was uneasy with the conversation, his shoulders lifting into a half shrug, or readjusting his position in the seat to try and distract from Derek's words, but the small nod he received from the younger profiler told him that he had been heard, and that Reid at least understood what he was saying, even if he didn't completely accept it as the truth.
The two profilers shared a small smile that didn't quite make it to completion before Spencer gently turned his chair away, but rather than turning back to his music, Derek sat back in his seat, once again twirling the cable around his hands, and watching Spencer. He couldn't tell for sure if the other man had let go of his guilt, but if he hadn't, then Derek wasn't going to give up until his Pretty Boy was smiling again.
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Jason Gideon sat with his back to the team, outwardly appearing to be ignoring the conversation currently going on behind him, but in this case, looks were to be deceiving. He had heard every word of Reid and Morgan's conversation, and he closed his eyes in annoyance at himself for not noticing his protégé's nervousness and self-recrimination. He too had noticed that Elle had been out of sorts since she had returned, but had chalked it up to simple nerves after being away for so long, but somehow Spencer – shy, quiet, socially awkward, Spencer – had been the only one to actually approach Elle to find out if she was okay. None of the others in the team had though to do so, not even him, who had taken Elle under his wing almost as a daughter.
He zoned back into his conversation with Hotch as the man began to tell him about his conversation with Elle earlier that day, and promised himself that when they were home and rested, he would speak to Reid. That he would make sure the young man knew that nothing he could have done would have altered Elle's course. That he knew that he was in no way to blame for her choices. But most of all, the Gideon was proud of him for looking after his team, even though it had meant coming out of his ever-present comfort zone.
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Derek Morgan sat up in bed, his back pressed against the headboard, head tilted back to stare up at the ceiling as he listened to the running water of the shower in the next room. Clooney lay across his feet, head on Spencer's side of the bed, eyes watching the closed bathroom door moodily as he waited for the younger man to appear. The Great Dane sighed for the fourth time in a minute as the water shut off in the bathroom, and Derek smiled and finally looked down to reach forward and scratch between his dog's ears, making Clooney rub his hand affectionately against his fingertips, stealing another scratch as he did so.
The bathroom door opened, and Clooney's head darted up, ears pricking up to point at the ceiling as Spencer shuffled into the room, baggy pyjama bottoms dragging on the floor and one of Derek's old, dryer-beaten t-shirts hanging off his shoulders as he scrubbed a towel over his hair, trying to get the water out of the long strands. He dropped the towel into the wash hamper as he passed it, and Clooney snuffed across the bed, ending up completely on Derek's lap and knocking the air out of him as he sat on his stomach, in order to make room for Spencer to get in the bed. Spencer smiled at Clooney's big puppy dog eyes, and stroked the large dog's head and neck before he clambered into the bed, causing Clooney to shift again, this time stepping dangerously close to Derek's groin and making the older agent cringe in anticipation before the dog settled across the bottom of the bed, over the two men's feet.
Derek slid down in the bed, lifting an arm up for Spencer to slip under, the young genius resting his head on Derek's bare chest as his eyes closed in relief at the first moment of relaxation against their mattress. Derek smiled, and pushed some of the damp strands away from his boyfriend's face as he watched the tension begin to seep from his features. He stroked a fingertip across Spencer's cheekbone as he spoke.
"Pretty Boy?"
"Mmm?"
Derek suppressed a smile at the sleepy response. He needed to be sure.
"Do you believe what I said earlier? On the plane? About Elle."
He felt Spencer tense minutely, but then the tension fled as quickly as it had arrived, and Derek felt a little happier, lifting his eyes to check the clock over Spencer's shoulder; 1:12 am. He felt Spencer nod against his chest and looked back down to see wide brown eyes looking up at him, all vestiges of sleep momentarily banished.
"I do. Gideon came to speak to me at the office when we got back. He said the same thing as you."
Derek made a mental note to thank the senior agent when he next saw him for helping to abate Spencer's fears; he knew that his own words would have helped, but to hear his mentor say the same thing would have solidified Derek's words in Spencer's mind.
"So you believe us? That there was nothing you could have done?"
Spencer chewed his lip thoughtfully before answering, one hand coming up to rest on Derek's chest and draw patterns across his pectorals as he thought.
"More that there was nothing that I could have changed. Elle wasn't coping well. If it wasn't this case that she panicked on then it would have been the next one. Or if she had passed this undercover assignment then it could have been a far more dangerous one that she panicked on. Either way, she would have eventually left, whether it be by her own choice or because of something that happened on the job. At least this way she got to choose."
Derek nodded. They had returned to the office to find Elle away from the office and Hotch with her badge and gun sitting on his desk. The news that she had left had been shocking, due to her clearing by the Bureau, but in a way, Derek thought Spencer had been expecting to hear the news at some point. He could see Gideon's point; after her attack, Elle had been a ticking time bomb waiting to happen, and it had only been a matter of time before she reacted to an Unsub.
He was drawn back to Reid when the genius' strokes turned into a sharp poke, and he looked back down to see Spencer looking up at him again. He lifted his eyebrows in question. Spencer gave a small smile as he repeated the words that Derek had not heard.
"Gideon said he was proud of me."
Derek smiled, and caught Spencer's hand against his chest, making the younger man look up at him.
"He did?"
Spencer nodded again.
"For going to see Elle that night; he said he was proud of me for going to see her even though he knew that comforting people was something that normally made me uncomfortable."
Derek had to hand it to Gideon; most of the time, he was more antisocial than Reid, and five times more surly than Hotch, but when it mattered most, he came through golden. And Derek could tell just how much the praise meant to his boyfriend.
Derek lifted his hand from around Spencer's shoulders to cup the nape of his neck, and he tilted the genius' head up to his for a sweet, lingering goodnight kiss before stroking the hair back from his face. His voice was soft when he spoke.
"He had every reason to be proud of you. I'm proud of you. You care for your friends, even when you're not comfortable showing it. I love you, Pretty Boy."
Spencer smiled at him.
"Thank you, Derek. I love you too."
He rolled over to shut off the lamp, but Derek pulled him back against his chest, curling around him gently from behind.
"You can leave it on if you want; you don't have to turn it off."
Spencer looked up at him over his shoulder.
"Really?"
Derek nodded, eyes closed and face already burrowed into the back of Spencer's neck.
"Really."
"But what happened to me needing to work on my phobia of the dark."
Derek could hear the frown on Spencer's face, and he hugged the younger man just a little bit tighter. He remembered teasing Reid about his phobia of the dark during the case, but he hadn't really meant it.
"Forget I said anything. Work on it if you want, but for now, you leave that light on as often as you need to."
He felt Spencer relax against him, and his arm drew back under the cover from where it had been extended towards the lamp, coming to rest on the arm that Derek had wrapped around his waist from behind. Slender fingertips played across his knuckles for a moment before working their way between his fingers and clasping his hand gently, and he gave them a quick squeeze before settling down again. In the soft glow of the lamp, both men drifted off to sleep, just a few sleepy words hanging in the air between them.
"G'night, Derek."
"Good night, Pretty Boy."
I loved the scene in 2x06 with Morgan reassuring Reid on the plane. And I couldn't help thinking about what Reid would think to Morgan teasing him about his phobia once they were home if they were a couple at the time. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Any mistakes are my own in this, as I wrote it rather quickly after rewatching the episode pretty late in the evening! Thanks for reading, guys! Happy Reading! Xx