A/N: The answer to the Tumblr prompt: Alistair/Warden- two miserable people meet at a wedding. A bitter Katryn Cousland spots Alistair from across the room at her cousin's wedding looking as out of place as she felt and figures they might as well be miserable together. It works out better than she intended it to.
Katryn Cousland didn't know what the Hell her cousin saw in her new husband. As a matter of fact, she didn't know what her cousin's new husband saw in her cousin. But no, Cullen Knight and now Solona Knight nee Amell were perfectly happy.
The husband in question was some tall, stocky dork who stuttered and was clearly far more in love with her great, gorgeous red-haired cousin than she was in love with him. And the poor guy was named after that dumb sparkly vampire who had stolen far too many teenage hearts over the years.
Fuck that noise. And Lona's hair - HOW DID SHE EVEN GET IT THAT PERFECT?!
Must' be the Amell blood. She had to get stuck with the reject Cousland blood that came with the bland brown hair, oval face, short fingers... So what if they were related to some duke from ages ago? That wasn't going to get them anywhere when the Amells' looks got them everywhere. Well, at least the Couslands tended to get the deep blue eyes.
She turned to avoid eye-contact with Dear little Solona when she spotted another poor bastard who looked more miserable than she did. However, somehow she could tell it wasn't over the wedding itself, but the fact that any time he so much as looked at one of the passing bridesmaids or guests they kept walking, and he zoomed right back in the corner and kept shooting uneasy smiles at his new apparent prey.
She kept a distant eye on him throughout the day, finding some entertainment in just how badly he was failing. And then she realized- she was apparently failing just as badly when it came to picking up attention- or having a good time in any way. It wasn't her fault that she knew she could do better than all the guys who had approached her as of late- including that Jory asshole who kept looking her way from the other side of the room.
Speaking of Jory, he had started to make his way over.
Fuck.
Katryn did the only thing that she thought of. She bolted for the sorry dude in the corner and threw herself at him. She could cry over her ruined ego later.
Poor Bastard, to his credit, recovered fast, swallowing a yelp of alarm as he managed to steady her. "Um, hi?"
"Shutupandjustgowiththisforasecond," she hissed and kissed him full on the mouth.
Even after hearing the first yelp she didn't think a man could actually make a sound as high as Poor Bastard did in reaction to it. But she had to admit, despite how awkward it felt and how she could feel the confusion, the boy wasn't a bad kiss, per se. If she was a romantic sort there might have been the hint of a firework, but she was better than that- she hoped.
She pushed off of him and turned to see Jory had already averted course and was trying damned hard not to make it obvious. "Awesome, he's gone, thanks, dude!" she punched Poor Bastard on the arm lightly.
"Who are you?" Poor Bastard squeaked, and then when he realized he squeaked, cleared his throat and puffed out his chest. "Ahem. Who are you… again? And what was that?"
Holy Mother of Voices That're the Embodiment of Sex, Batman.
She laughed and raised her eyebrows. "Kat Cousland. Distant cousin of the bride."
Poor bastard gawked at her a minute before offering his hand. "Alistair Theirin. Friends call me Al. Former roommate of the groom."
She made a face. "Oh. That does… not sound fun."
"You have no idea. Um, who was-" Alistair pointed at Jory, who had managed to get himself lost in the crowd again.
"Just some idiot. Thanks for not freaking out… too bad, by the way."
"Hey, woman in need, clearly trying to avoid trouble, I'm there," Alistair replied.
"Says the guy who was also apparently trying to pick up women at a friend's wedding."
Alistair cracked an uneasy smile. "Could've been worse, I suppose. Could've been a funeral that I tried this at."
Katryn snorted. "Fair point. Not a big pickup artist, then?" She figured laughing when he full on blushed would've been bad.
"Yeah, not exactly. Doesn't help when you have your father and… literally everyone else in your family complaining that you're single when you have the family reputation to uphold and the family line to continue, blah blah blah," he made hand puppets with the last bit to prove his point.
And daddy issues to boot. Oh, no, no, heart, don't you start. He has daddy issues, that does not mean he needs to be fixed. You remember how your desire to help men heal went the last time?! DO YOU?! Nate still calls you every Saturday at noon on the dot. Oh, and now he's waiting for a response. Shit. She saw him suddenly look uneasy and the dam broke, just like it had those years ago. But for some reason she didn't want to shatter his resolve. She wanted to take it easy- it was starting to seem like the daddy issues were a lot more set in than the usual, 'My daddy didn't give me the Ferrari for the weekend!' 'My dad didn't get me an Iphone for Christmas!' 'My dad tried to kill your dad in a jealous rage and I think that defines our friendship too!'. She didn't even want to remember that last one. She offered a smile, surprised at how genuine it was.
It's the guy's smile too. Or his eyes. Or his hair. Definitely the hair.
"Don't I know it," Katryn finally replied.
"Do you?" he challenged.
"Mm hm. But it requires at least two more drinks before you get that story."
"Oh? Then we best get started. Where's the champagne table?" He looked around.
"Just like that? Usually there's at least a question about sex being factored into it."
Alistair choked on a laugh, then shook his head. "Not exactly a… major concern. Just looking after a… fellow miserable sod at a wedding. And maybe sharing a few sob stories along the way to pass time. Beats making a bet on how long Len and Lona will last…." He trailed off, then laughed. " Len and Lona, I didn't even make that connection 'til now. Cripes, they would be the cutesy matching name people, wouldn't they? Better start calling him 'Cull' or something…"
"Ha! And my bet's two years, by the way."
"Really? I only gave them one," Alistair replied.
The pair spotted the champagne table, and he offered his arm.
Katryn looped her arm through it, and they made their way over to it. "And chivalrous. Careful, or I'd think you're trying too hard."
"Don't usually have enough game to know what trying to hard is. My brother Cail, on the other hand- talk about showmanship that's overdone. He has a wife, Nora… no idea how she deals with it. I think the fact that I don't take after him that way is a gift."
"Good for you, then." She took one of the glasses and then handed another to him.
He offered a quick cheers before starting to down his. "So… I'm a sorry sod because I have family obligations, you're… moping over family, or something else…?" when she arched an eyebrow, he shrugged. "We were getting there, weren't we? Come on, let's be sorry sods together."
She grinned and rolled her eyes. "Forever bitter that my cousin and her sister and our other cousins got all the better genes and the better outlook on life. And got all of the life milestones before me… typical family drama. Same as yours, don't you worry."
"The better genes- are you joking? Their hair is tomato red. They've got nothing on you."
Now that was something she didn't expect from the man who had been fumbling all day. He's me. Put him with the right person and bam, success. Oh, this was going to be fun. "And you said you didn't have game!"
"Yeah, I might have had a few of these when I was hiding in the corner…" he replied and held up the glass.
Katryn mock gasped and then leaned into him. "You sir, are a dog. And I like you."
"Good, because I was starting to worry if I needed to break out the big guns."
"Ah, but I might like big guns," Katryn countered.
Alistair beamed at that.
"Oi! You two! get a room!"
"Leave them alone, Morri. Our girl finally seems to be enjoying herself- and has found a man, no less. Let them have their fun… and then possibly more fun later."
Alistair turned sharply at the new voice and pulled a face upon seeing a dark-haired woman with yellow eyes and a purple dress. "I take you know Crazy Eyes and… Golden Hair Boy over there?"
"Morrigan and Zevran. Best friends," Katryn explained, suddenly wishing her parents had taken her to a different school so she wouldn't have met the woman, then wished that Zevran had actually let the frat boy prank against her happen instead of suddenly deciding it was wrong so they would've never hit it off. Because really, she had been doing well, and then of course the usual peanut gallery came in and made it awkward. Bastards.
"Ah,"
She laughed, then nodded to the dance floor. "Come on. Speaking of friends, there's Lellie over there waving me towards the dance floor. She's not going to give up until I do at least one."
"You know Lellie, too?" Alistair asked.
"You do?" she countered with a raised eyebrow.
"Grew up together. Huh. Small world," Alistair replied.
"Yeah. Now, come on." She tugged on his hand for good measure.
"I have two left feet, you know. Might crush you out there- and not in the friendly competition way."
"I will take that challenge."
"Lead the way."
—
The dancing, as expected, was disastrous. Alistair hadn't been lying about two left feet, and the pair spent just as much time tripping over each other than they did muttering what their next move would be to try and give the other warning.
It was, however, enough to have Katryn loosen up more, and allowed an opening for Alistair to comment on it, which, to his own surprise got even more smiles out of her.
Three hours later and the pair were making out in the backseat of her car, which had surprised the man, however pleasantly.
A year later and they were each others' plus ones at Alistair's brother Riordan and Liesel Tabris' wedding. To their own surprise, Cullen and Solona were still going strong, and had twins on the way. For the first time, Katryn didn't have it in her to care, and was more happy for them than anything.
Two years later, at the wedding of Marian's sister Bethany and Nate, of all people, Alistair had an engagement ring weighing in his pocket, and when he popped the question there, all he had to say was weddings 'were their reoccurring theme, so he figured 'why not'?'.
Three, and it was their own, and they both couldn't help but notice how Marian had kept on making eyes at Andy Anderfels (Katryn had a field day with that name), and when Katryn all but shoved her cousin into Andy on the dance floor and the man recovered and swept her off into the dance, Katryn might have admitted she was a bit of romantic. It was, after all, exactly how she met her Prince Charming, and wouldn't it be great if that's exactly how those two progressed?
But that, of course, was a story for another time.