Misunderstood

Sasuke wonders what has come over him, over them, earlier that night. He stares at the tanned body next to him in a bed that is not his own. The tanned man is a blonde and happens to be his best friend. Said best friend is currently sleeping. Sasuke has just finished having crazy, rough, raucous sex for a good length of the night with that best friend some five minutes prior. He turns his head back to the ceiling.

If he is to be honest with himself he knows exactly why he has gone through with it but why has Naruto? Sasuke is fully aware of his feelings towards his blonde friend. He'd fallen hard for him back in their last year of high school. Sasuke has not been willing to risk losing his best friend-only friend really-over his "stupid" feelings and so keeps them to himself. However, that only begs the question of why he has allowed this.

Sasuke sighs and resists the urge to curl into the blonde. He is certain that if he does he will calm down and relax and his mind will stop thinking for a while but what will he say if Naruto wakes up? Fuck, what will happen when Naruto wakes up? Sasuke runs a hand through his hair. Then he rolls on his side and stares at the blonde. This is all a terrible mistake and it may ruin his friendship forever. The sad thing is neither of them are drunk so it can't even be used as an excuse.

Maybe I should just leave? The raven sighs dejectedly to himself. It seems preferable to Sasuke. However, before he can act on it an arm lands on his waist and pulls him into the warm body of Naruto. Sasuke gasps lightly and tenses up. He looks over at the blonde and discovers he is still sleeping. That isn't all that surprising to the raven; he had been expecting it.

Sasuke sighs and tries to lift his arm so he can get up but it won't budge. Leave it to the dobe to have a death grip in his sleep. Naruto always somehow foils his plans whether he intends to or not. Sasuke sighs again and throws an arm over his eyes. He doesn't know how to get out of his current dilemma and finds he really doesn't want to either. Sasuke could have cried, it is so frustrating. Why does this have to be so difficult? Why do you always have to stop me?

For a while, he allows himself to stay pressed against the blonde. When Naruto's grip slackens though he slips away. He gets up and hastily although carefully gets dressed. Naruto doesn't once stir in his sleep. As Sasuke walks out the door he takes one last glance back at Naruto. He looks down guiltily, knowing this will probably hurt the blonde despite not having feelings for him.

"It won't hurt you," Sasuke whispers, "as much as it hurts me."

Then Sasuke quietly closes the bedroom door and slips out of the blonde's house.

"Mmn, Sasuke?" Naruto mumbles groggily as he wakes up.

He throws his arm out and only feels cold sheets. Naruto's eyes snap open to an empty bed and when he looks around all evidence that Sasuke has been there is gone. For a moment he wonders if it was a dream but then he sees the sheets soiled. Naruto shoots up and runs around his house butt naked looking for the raven. He only manages to confirm what he fears, Sasuke ran away.

Naruto crashes onto his couch and it feels like he has been stabbed in the heart. Tears brim in his eyes but he grits his teeth and refuses to let them fall. He rubs at his eyes and shakes himself. Naruto resolves himself to his situation and his task. He gets up and takes a shower and then gets dressed in fresh clothes. He ignores his dirty sheets and calls and texts Sasuke about a million times.

When that gets him nowhere his heart sinks again but he refuses to wallow in self-misery. Naruto starts to consider that last night was a mistake. He suddenly wants nothing more than to take last night back. The last thing he wants is to lose his best friend but he doesn't seem to have any say in the matter. His shoulders slump and he falls onto his couch again. Naruto does something very unlike him; he starts to brood.

It doesn't last long and Naruto pulls himself together. He decides he will give Sasuke some time and then try again. If that fails he will go banging on Sasuke's door and refuse to leave until he talks with him or until the cops come and drag him away. Naruto has no intentions of giving up on his friend so easily even if said friend intends to do so with him. It leaves a constant ache in his heart and he doesn't get much sleep over the following couple of weeks.

~ ~Sasuke~ ~

I blanch when I open the door to see the blonde standing there. The morning after I left he persistently tries to get a hold of me and then stopped. For the next two weeks I pouted and brooded over losing him. I was sad that he gave up so easily and it hurt. Then today he starts it up again and this time he turns up on my doorstep. Ironically, it's only at this moment that I realize Naruto was trying to give me some space before forcing the situation on me.

I can't believe I thought he would give up so quickly! It is so stupid. Naruto never gives up so easily. I sigh and stare at him. He looks oddly tired-no exhausted. It isn't a common expression on him. I'm not sure I've ever seen him look like this. I grow more uncomfortable in the silence. My hands are suddenly clammy and I'm so nervous. Then Naruto yawns and rubs an eye.

"Are you going to let me in?" He asks.

His tone is unusually guarded. He has never talked to me like that but I know I deserve it. I flinch and look down. Then I step aside to let him in. Naruto walks in and sighs. I stare at his feet as he removes his shoes and refuse to lift my head though I can feel his eyes on me. Once he is only in his socks I watch as his feet suddenly point towards me.

Great, now he's directly facing me. He obviously wants me to look up. My cheeks redden slightly in embarrassment but I continue to stare downward. In my peripheral vision I see a hand land on his hip as he juts it out a little and his other one disappears from my sight. I can picture him rubbing his head in exasperation. I frown in confusion, not being able to fathom why he would be doing that but certain he is.

Then he takes a half-step forward and his hand comes up to rest lightly under my chin. My eyes widen in surprise and my heart starts hammering in my chest and ears. Then he's gently tilting my head up to look at him. I manage to school my expression before our eyes met but it falls apart as soon as they do. His eyes are soft but sad too and he is smiling kindly at me. The look makes me want to cry both in guilt and relief. However, the tears never fall.

"I'm sorry." Naruto says. "I'm just tired. That's all."

I can only nod. His smile broadens a little then and it is all I can do to not throw myself at him. Then Naruto's fingers leave my chin and grasp onto my wrist instead. I look down at them in surprise and then I am suddenly being dragged further into my house. The blonde pulls me to my living room. He sits down on the couch and forces me to sit down directly beside him. He doesn't leave much room for me to put space between us.

"What are you doing here, Naruto?" I finally ask.

"You know why." Naruto says as he looks at me. "You left."

"Yeah, and? What else was I supposed to do?" I ask defensively.

Naruto stares at me silently a while, as if he isn't sure what to say.

"Look Sasuke, I... I'm not trying to blame you or anything." Naruto says. "I just don't want to lose you."

I look away. He sounds so unbelievably sad and it is all my fault. I hurt him when I left and made it worse when I ignored him. Naruto was even understanding of that and left me alone for a while so I can sort things out. He gave me a chance to figure everything out first and he gave me another chance to hear him out willingly and I fucked it up. Damn, what am I supposed to do?

Then I suddenly feel arms wrap around me and pull me into a warm chest. Naruto's hugging me. I try to look up at him but he has my head tucked under his chin and I can't make out his face because of it. I bite my lip and after a moments hesitation I give into him. I lean into his chest and wrap my arms around his waist. Naruto combs his fingers through my hair. I can feel this doing what it always does. It's making my mind go blank and all my problems are disappearing. I sigh softly and close my eyes.

I know it isn't right. I know I shouldn't let myself succumb to all this but right now I just don't care. Despite my avoiding him I missed him. I missed his smiles, his kindness, his company. I missed everything having him around makes me feel and everything it gives me. I tighten my arms around him and bury my face in his chest. Naruto holds me closer in response. God, why does this have to feel so damned good?

"You smell nice." I mumble.

"Oh, um... thanks." Naruto says awkward-no embarrassedly.

Why did I even say that? Ugh, that is such a stupid thing to say. He does not need to know that I think he smells nice. Damn it, he smelled like this that night too. Naruto... he is surprisingly tender while-no, no, no don't think about that! Crap, I can't seem to get my head on straight. My thoughts are going all over the place. No, that isn't entirely true. They just keep circling back to the same thing; the night we shared but I don't want to think about that! However, I have to don't I? It has to be dealt with for us to move forward whether I like it or not.

"What do you want me to say?" I ask desperately wanting to get past this.

"Whatever you want to say." Naruto says.

He combs my hair soothingly. He probably knows, with just that one question, how desperate I'm feeling. I wish he would just tell me what to do, what to say. I don't want to get things wrong but I know he won't but then he doesn't want me to tell him what he wants to hear unless it's the truth. All he wants is for me to be honest. I've always been terrible at sharing my feelings. I don't have much of a choice now though. Shit I'm... I'm scared.

I'm scared of how he'll react to what I have to say. Although that's probably stupid. When it gets right down to it Naruto always takes things well. I can't think of a time when I've been worried about his reaction about something that it has ever been called for. Naruto somehow always takes it in stride, sometimes he doesn't even look surprised, and he'll usually tease me about whatever it is for weeks. The damn idiot, he always makes me feel like my concerns are uncalled for at the end of it and while I always feel embarrassed about that I'm really glad for it.

"That night it... it wasn't nothing to me." I say, pulling back and staring uncertainly into his chest.

Fuck, please let Naruto not be a naïve imbecile this time and understand what I'm getting at here. I mean, that is pretty straight forward but Naruto can be a real idiot sometimes.

"...It wasn't for me either." Naruto says. "Did you really think I would get into bed with you, especially when I was sober, without it meaning anything?"

Okay, now I feel like the naïve imbecile and a guilty one at that. I really shouldn't have run away like I did.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left." I say. "I just panicked."

"It's okay Sasuke. I'm not upset with you." Naruto says. "I don't think either of us were really thinking about what we are doing when we were doing it. It's not all that surprising that a misunderstanding came about from it, neh?"

I close my eyes and smile weakly. I love and hate how understanding he can be. I hate it because it makes me feel worse about how much of an ass I was but I love it since it makes me feel better about it all at the same time. Then I feel Naruto's finger under my chin and he tilts it up so that I would be looking at him except... I still have my eyes closed. So I open them to Naruto's grinning face and he leans in and kisses me. I place a hand on his neck and press into the kiss.

When Naruto pulls away he pulls me back into his chest. I sigh contently and snuggle closer. Everything feels so much better now that he's here. I smile and curl up a little against him. He's so warm and comfortable. I breathe in and inhale his scent. Naruto cocoons his body around me and I find that I like it. It feels really nice. He lies down on the couch and pulls me with him. He has us on our sides and I'm trapped between him and the couch. God, I feel so unbelievably good right now and I pull him closer to me.

I want more of him, more of his touch, more of his warmth. Sensing my mood he shuffles forward until I have absolutely no room between him and the couch. I sigh happily and slide upward so I can wrap my arms around his neck and he can move closer still. Naruto doesn't disappoint me. He immediately removes any distance between us so I am pressed flush against him. He coaxes my legs between his own and then locks them together and traps them there. I smile, not at all surprised by that.

"God, I missed you." Naruto murmurs into my hair.

"I missed you too." I mumble into his chest.

He makes an "mm" noise and kisses my head before nuzzling it. I smile and know everything will only get better from here. I'm glad I'll be spending the rest of my life with him. I say his name but he doesn't respond. When I look up at him I notice he's asleep. Suddenly, I remember how tired he looked and it dawns on me that I must have been the reason he was having trouble sleeping. I smile sadly at him and vow to myself to make it up to him as I settle into him for the next several hours. I don't know how I'll entertain myself for that long but I'll figure something out. As long as I have Naruto here that's all that matters.