I DO NOT OWN ADVENTURE TIME
A/N: This is an idea that has been nagging in the back of my head after seeing the episode Joshua and Margaret Investigations. It's basically a 'What if' Margaret put her foot down and insisted that they investigate the fire goblin instead of Tree Trunks' missing pies. As a result, they never encounter that shape shifter so Jake was never born. How will this affect the future of Ooo?

Inside Joshua and Margaret's Investigations office. Margaret was practicing her marksmanship while trying not to be distracted by the baby growing in her womb. "Steak break," her partner and husband Joshua announced bringing in two plates of meat.

"Let's get started," Margaret said taking her seat.

"These steaks are tough and stringy, just like you." Joshua joked.

"Oh good one dear," Margaret chuckled as Joshua began cutting her steak. "Hey after dinner, what do you say we check the ticker tape for new cases?" she suggested.

"Margaret, you on the family way now! You should take a backseat from investigations." Joshua said sternly.

"Oh come on Joshua, even with this ankle bitter I'm still as quick as ever. Sure my waist is bigger, but that just means more bullets in my ammo belt." Margaret insisted.

"You're missing the point, Sugar. What if something bad happens? Let's say we're out on the beat fighting some low life. He throws a punch, you zig when you should have zagged; and oops Jr. takes a knock to the noodle! Comes out with a shiner the size of a grapefruit. I can't take that kind of guilt and neither could you." Joshua argues.

"I can take care of myself just fine, and besides these babies don't come cheap. We need to work together to bring in the bread." Margaret points out.

"Yeah you got me there," Joshua conceded.

"Now let's go over to that ticker type and look for some perps." Margaret suggests.

"You relax dear, I've got it." Joshua said doing a flip over the their table, and walking over to the ticker type. "Hum, let's get a look here. Vampire girl spotted in the grasslands harassing sheep and cattle. Nope, nope, nope. Small fire goblin burns down Candy Kingdom forest."

"Hey that sounds like fun, let's do that!" Margaret said excitedly.

"Wait, wait, here's one!" Joshua ignoring her. Margaret smiles with anticipation. "Women's pies go missing in bucolic countryside where nothing ever happens. The perfect case for my pregnant wife!" Joshua exclaims.

"What?" Margaret voicing her objection.

"Now let's get an egg in our shoe and beat it!" Joshua said.

"Now hold up there Joshua!" Margaret said sternly not getting up.

"What's wrong dear, I thought you wanted to go on a case?" Joshua asked.

"Listen Joshua, I love you and all, but I refuse to be treated like some helpless dame. I insist we take that fire goblin case!" Margaret demanded.

"But sugar," Joshua pleaded.

"No buts, it's either that or we name our kid after my father instead of yours!" Margaret threatened.

Joshua gulped in fear. It was no small secret that Joshua didn't get along with Margaret's parents, and they didn't really like him either, so the last thing he wants is for his future son to be named after his father-in-law; and Margaret knows this as well. "Alright you win," Joshua conceded.

Later after a long drive, the two investigators arrived in the Candy Kingdom. As they approached the forest they could see the devastation caused by the fire goblin. Acres upon acres of trees reduced to cinder. Just the thought of his wife and future son going up against so powerful is enough to make Joshua cringe. "Say Margaret, looks like the fire goblin isn't here anymore," Joshua said nervously. "There's still time to do that pie caper."

"No wait, look!" Margaret said pointing to a large cloud of black smoke. "That must be where the monster is! Hurry Joshua!" Joshua groaned as he reluctantly aided his wife towards danger. Pretty soon the duo arrived at the scene of a large fire, and to their surprise they see a little baby inside the fiery inferno. "Heavens me there's the monster!" Joshua gasped.

"Monster, are you blind? It's just a baby." Margaret swoon giving in to her maternal instinct. "Come here deary," Margaret calls sweetly to the fire child. The baby giggles happily causing her flames to die down a bit as she waddles her way towards Margaret. Margaret was just about to pick the baby up when Joshua stopped her.

"Margaret what are you doing? Do you want it to burn your arms off?" Joshua said angrily. Sensing the hostilities from Joshua; the fire baby started crying, causing her powers to flare up again. Causing Joshua's head to catch on fire. "Oh, oh hot, hot!" Joshua screamed trying to put his head out.

"Joshua stop! Can't you see you're scaring her!" Margaret scolded.

"Me? Scare her?" Joshua said with bewilderment using the dirt to smother the flames.

"There, there now." Margaret sings her a lullaby to try and comfort the little fire baby.

'Don't be weepy sleepy puppies.
Slip your slippers on your footies.
In the morning you'll get goodies;
Puppy hats and puppy hoodies.
No stripes or polk-a-dots;
Heather grey and feather soft,
Baby pink or baby blue...
All the draw strings you can chew...'

Upon completion of the song, the fire baby yawns deeply and happily goes to sleep. Her temperature drops down rapidly making her safe to touch, allowing Margaret to pick her up and cradle her in her arms. "Ooh, she's so adorable." Margaret squealed.

"Yeah, when she's not frying your face off." Joshua snipped. "Guess I'm going to need a hat from now on," he groaned feeling the bald spot caused by the fire.

"Oh Joshua, she's just a baby, she doesn't know what she's doing." Margaret defended, placing a fedora that she bought for him, on his head. "Besides I think it looks good on you." she complimented.

"Which is why we should hurry and take this child away where she won't cause harm to anyone!" Joshua said adjusting his new hat.

"JOSHUA!" Margaret gasped holding the child defensively. "You can't be seriously thinking of harming this sweet baby?"

"What? NO!" Joshua gasped. "What kind of a monster do you take me for? I was merely suggesting that we take her to the Fire Kingdom. I'm sure they'll take care of her better than we ever could."

"Your right dear," Margaret reluctantly agreed. The two drove over to the Candy Kingdom Dump where they found an old oven and placed the fire baby inside, and latched a tow line to the back of their car. After all they didn't want the little girl to accidentally melt their car or start another forest fire. As they drove over to the Fire Kingdom, Margaret watched the sleeping baby through the oven's window and can't help but feel that this is a mistake. She only held the baby for a brief moment she felt a connection. That somehow this child was meant to be hers. All of a sudden Joshua stepped on the brakes. "Joshua, what is going on?" Margaret asked.

"We're in luck, I just spotted another fire citizen." Joshua said excitedly pointing to a small flame bit.

"Well, well, if it ain't the famous Joshua n' Margaret." the flame bit identified.

"You know us?" Joshua asked suspiciously.

"Darn right, the name's Flambo," the flame bit introduced himself. "I'm what you call an informant. For the right price I can tell you anything." Flambo rubbing his fingers together hinting at some form of payment.

"Fine we'll give you a pint of gas if you can find this girl a good home," Joshua offered holding up his spare canister of gas. Knowing that fire beings love anything flammable.

Flambo was about to bargain for more until he spotted the little baby in the oven. "Hey it's the princess!" he accidentally blurted out.

"Princess?" both Joshua and Margaret gasped in shock.

Seeing as how he already spilled the beans, Flambo saw no reason not to tell them. "Yeah, the King found out that she's more powerful than him so he tried to have her executed. I guess it didn't work."

"Joshua we can't," Margaret cried.

"No we can't," Joshua agreed. He may want to get rid of the baby as soon as possible, but even he cannot leave a child where the parents are trying to kill them. Joshua placed his entire container of gas next to Flambo. "Okay here's the deal, one full gallon of gas if you forget you ever saw her." Joshua negotiated pointing at Flame Princess.

"Forget who," Flambo winked hinting that he's accepting the deal. Joshua nodded in understanding and soon they all drove off in the direction opposite of the Fire Kingdom. "Nice folks," Flambo commented as he started guzzling down the fuel. "Bet'cha I'll be dealing with them a lot in the future."

Not knowing what else to do, and Margaret's contractions getting closer. The duo hurried to the nearest hospital where Margaret gave birth to their son Jermaine. While waiting in the hospital, Margaret spent her time sewing together a bunch of oven mitts and pot holders together to make a fireproof dress for Flara. That is the name Margaret decided for Flame Princess much to Joshua's objections, mainly because it proves that Margaret is planning to keep the little fire girl. But truth be told, he was starting to warm up to the idea of having a daughter. After the hospital cleared them to go home, the new family headed home, with Flara still riding in the oven in the back. Can't be too careful after all. On their way home they heard a small cry out in the forest.

"What is that?" Joshua wondered.

"Sounds like someone needs help," Margaret figured raising her ear so she can hear better.

"Wait here while I check it out," Joshua instructed. Margaret wanted to object, but she had two babies to take care of.

Joshua wandered around for a bit before he spotted a strange smelly creature stuck to a leaf. "What do you want baby? Why are you crying?" Joshua asked, but the baby just kept on crying.

"What is it dear?" Margaret asked checking up on her husband.

"Margaret this baby won't tell me what's wrong with it, and it's stuck to a leaf, and it stinks." Joshua explained.

"Give it here, Joshua." Margaret said taking the baby. "This baby just need some love and kisses to be happy." Margaret said giving the baby some kisses. Just as she said the baby started laughing upon receiving the kisses. "There see, now it's happy."

"You just kissed a boom boom baby, so don't expect anymore sugar from me sweetheart until you wash your dirty dirty face," Joshua warned.

"Well then let's get you home and cleaned up," Margaret said to the baby.

"Geez Margaret, we already have one stray, now you want to pick up another one?" Joshua groaned already knowing where this is heading.

"Yes, dear aren't you just a precious little thing," Margaret still coddling the human baby and ignoring her husband.

"This won't end well," Joshua sighed sadly as he got back into his car.

The years roll by, and much to Joshua's pleasant surprise, things are turning out well. Thanks to Margaret's pot holder dresses, they've managed to keep Flara's powers under control (and by control they mean she hasn't completely burned down their house yet). Likewise, their adopted son Finn is proving to be a delight as well. Despite their best efforts, they could not find Finn's real parents. All they could learn that Finn is an endangered species called human. In fact considering how no one has seen any other humans around, Finn could quite possibly be the last of his kind (not that they will ever tell him that). At the moment Joshua was busy teaching his sons how to defend themselves by having them spar against each other. "That's it Finn, hit harder! Jermaine lift your arms up to block!" Joshua instructed. Suddenly Jermaine punched Finn so hard that the young human collapsed! "Jermaine, what did you do to your brother?" Joshua asked.

"We were just sparring and I got out of control. I'm sorry dad." Jermaine cried.

"No son you did good," Joshua praised. "Having no self control makes you a tough galoot. Like me!" Joshua said proudly.

"But I don't want to hurt nobody," Jermaine cried.

"Well that's too bad kid, because you're going to hurt everybody." Joshua said.

"NOOOO!" Jermaine screamed running away as fast as he could. Joshua sighed sadly shaking his head as he watched his biological son running away. After Jermaine left, Finn sprung back up.

"I'm okay!" Finn said happily. "Let's continue bro! Bro?" Finn started looking around for his brother. "Dad, where's Jermaine?"

"Sorry Finn, but uh Jermaine is um." Joshua trying to come up with a good excuse. "He's tired right now so you win! You're the toughest baby around!" he declared.

"Yay, I'm a tough tootin' baby..." Finn happily sang and danced.

Meanwhile in the middle of town, Margaret was shopping with her daughter when they were confronted by a snake! "Stay back Flara, my manual says it's too dangerous!" Margaret said trying to protect her daughter from the snake.

"Mom, your manual is a bunch of junk," Flara complained. "Look at what I can do," Flara conjuring a fireball and shooting it at the snake.

"Oh dear Glob," Margaret cursed watching her child laughing with delight about her powers.

Later that night after tucking the kids to bed, Joshua and Margaret sat down to discuss the current state of their kids. "I don't know Margaret, Jermaine is our son and I love him but he doesn't seem cut out for this line of work." Joshua said sadly recounting how Jermaine acted after the sparring match. "And Finn, I love him dearly, but he's such a wuss. He went down after a couple of hits." Joshua sighed. "I fear for them, I'm not sure if they can survive on their own."

"Oh Joshua, I think you're being too hard on them. They are still young, I'm sure they'll toughen up in time." Margaret counseled, but sounding unsure herself.

"Is there something wrong sweety?" Joshua asked picking up on his wife's sour tone.

"Oh it's Flara, she's starting to realize her powers; and not only that, she seems to enjoy the destruction she causes." Margaret said sadly. "I just don't know what to do? What if she becomes evil?" Margaret broke down crying.

"Please Margaret, have more faith in our daughter." Joshua said trying to comfort his wife. "Sure she can be a bit rambunctious and destructive at times, but she's still a good kid, with a good heart. We've raised her well, so I'm positive that she will not grow up to be evil."

Margaret smiled at her husband's reassuring words, but she still had this nagging feeling. "That may be Joshua, but You remember what Princess Bubblegum said about her being unstable. She could incinerate the whole world, if she did that she could be labeled as a monster for the rest of her life! How is she going to find a husband then?"

Joshua sighed heavily. He also feared that about his daughter. "Well then maybe, it's time I take some extreme measures." Joshua said pulling out a pamphlet.

"Wizards' School? Joshua why do you have this?" Margaret asked fearfully.

"Listen Margaret, I know you don't like Wizards and all, but magic may be the only way to help our children!" Joshua said with determination.

Margaret looked at her husband sadly. True most of the wizards she often meets were jerks, which is why she hates dealing with them, but Joshua has a point. "Alright, but just become a complete tool, deal?"

"Deal!" Joshua promises giving his wife a kiss.

For the next few years, Joshua studies hard at the Wizards' School mastering various forms of magic. All the while becoming a part time adventurer to find treasures to support his family, which gave them more money than they ever got as detectives. With the extra money coming in Margaret shut down their detective agency to become a full time mom. Pretty soon Joshua becomes one of the most recognized wizard in the magical community, his exploits like defeating the Demon Kee-Oth and others made him a legend. Sadly he could not find a spell that could completely suppress his daughter's power, or get his human son to become tougher, or to get Jermaine to follow in his footsteps. But he may have found other ways to help them.

"Kids gather around!" Joshua calling his children to the living room. Finn eagerly did a jumping back flip to dramatically enter with Flara and Jermaine walking behind him.

"What up dad," they all asked him. Suddenly they notice Margaret crying. "Is something wrong mom?" they all asked fearfully.

"No, it's nothing." Margaret sobbed. "It's just the day I've been dreading my whole life!" Margaret then broke down crying.

"Kids, there's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just get to the point." Joshua said sternly. "You are all 10 years old. Legally adults, it is time you found your own homes and your own live."

"You're kicking us out?" Finn asked completely flabbergasted.

"No Finn, if you want to stay you are free to do so!" Margaret offered. "No, be strong Margaret, it's for their own good." she whispered to herself. Taking a deep breath to gather her resolve. "Don't see this as leaving home. Try to see it as the start of a great adventure." Margaret said trying to keep a straight face.

"Cool," Finn said with excitement. Flara seemed equally interested. Jermaine however seemed unconvinced.

"That being said, I have a few parting gifts for all of you." Joshua announced.

"PRESENTS!" the kids cheered as they gathered around their father.

"Jermaine, you can't imagine how disappointed I was to hear that you didn't want to follow in the family business." Joshua sighed. Jermaine lowered his head in shame. "But I am proud that you found a career that you love. And to show my support, here." Joshua handed Jermaine a small box. Jermaine carefully opened it to find a set of paint brushes.

"Dad, how did you know?" Jermaine asked since he kept his love of painting a secret.

"I'm your father and a detective, you can't keep secrets from me for very long." Joshua boasted.

"Thanks dad." Jermaine cried giving his father a hug.

"Welcome," Joshua said. Turning to Finn. "Finn, despite being my adopted son you have made me proud as any father could for his boy and I'm glad that you want to follow in the family business of fighting evil." Finn beamed with delight. "But you are weak!" Joshua growled. This caused Finn to slouch in disappointment. "That is why I made you this." Joshua handed Finn a golden sword.

"Mathematical!" Finn cheered as he started swinging the sword around. "I'm going to slay so much evil with this!" he said excitedly.

"Be careful with that. You might poke someone's, who's not evil, eye out!" Joshua scolded.

"Sorry," Finn apologized putting the sword away.

"Now Flara, my sweet sweet Flara. As you know I've spent years trying to find a way to help control your fire, but sadly there is no magic powerful enough to change ones nature." Joshua said sadly. "Which is why you've been forced to wear those bulky fireproof clothing."

"I understand father," Flara said softly. She hates having to wear these clothes, which were still made from oven mitts and pot holders, but she hates hurting her family even more.

"But while I was in the Fire Kingdom, I found some creatures called Lava Worms, and these worms create this fabric called fire silk. Which I used to make this." Joshua pulled out a beautiful white dress and handed it to his daughter. "It's light as anything and still fireproof. Go ahead, put it on." Joshua said.

Flara took off her fireproof clothes and put on her new dress. "How do I look?" she asked nervously.

"You look beautiful dear," Margaret said.

"I'd say down right gorgeous," Joshua added.

"Huba, huba," Jermaine grinned.

"I never realized that Flara was so HOT," Finn said completely infatuated.

"Knock it off you two!" Joshua scolded smacking his sons on the head. "She may be adopted but she is still your sister, so I expect you to treat her with respect!"

"Yes dad. Sorry Flara." Finn and Jermaine apologized.

"Oh it's alright," Flara blushed. Truth be told, she did take their reaction as a compliment. "Thank you father, I love it." Flara said giving Joshua a hug. Unfortunately while her dress covered most of her body, her face was still naked, as such she started burning Joshua's face when her cheek made contact. "Oh no! Sorry!" Flara apologized after realizing what happened.

"No problem dear," Joshua shrugged off. "In fact, I've grown accustomed to the smell of burning fur."

"Well now that the gifts are out of the way, let's party!" Margaret said bringing in some cake. The family cheered in agreement as they celebrated what might be their last night together.

The next day the kids set off on their own. Jermaine found himself a studio apartment where he can work on his paintings. Finn and Flara decided to become adventurers together so they traveled around Ooo looking for a place to live. At first Finn wanted to move into a giant tree house, but Flara pointed out that she could accidentally burn the tree down. So that idea was rejected. They tried other homes as well but there was always some kind of problem with them; they were too small, too high up in the sky, too wet, too hot, someone was already living there, something that kept them from moving in. They soon found a cave (yes the same cave owned by Marceline) that was perfect. There was nothing inside that Flara could burn, and no one seemed to be using it. As Finn and Flara were finishing building their new home they heard some strange voices coming from outside the cave.

"LET ME GO, ICE KING!"

"Huh what was that?" Flara wondered.

"Someone in trouble," Finn narrated. The two rushed out of their cave and saw the Ice King flying away carrying a pink girl who was struggling to get away. "He's got Princess Bubblegum!"

"Come on bro!" Flara said as she uses her fire power to fly up to the Ice King.

"Oh, who are you?" Ice King asked the beautiful fire girl hovering in front of him.

"I'm your worst nightmare!" Flara said as she shot a fireball at the Ice King causing him to drop Princess Bubblegum.

"My Princess!" Ice King cried. "Look what you made me do!" Soon the Ice King and Flara were engaged in a fire and ice fight in the sky.

Princess Bubblegum screamed as she fell from the sky only to find a young boy heroically catching her. "Oh thank you brave knight," Bubblegum thanked.

"I'm not a night, I'm a little boy." Finn corrected her.

"Well then, thank you brave boy," Bubblegum said giving Finn a kiss on the forehead. Finn blushed with embarrassment when he heard his sister scream. Finn looked up to see the Ice King dropping a large snowball on Flara sending her to the ground.

"Excuse me princess but I got to help my sister!" Finn said as he jumped off.

Flara shivered in pain as she crawled out of the snowball. "Now to finish you off!" Ice King laughed as he landed preparing to hit her with more Ice powers.

"No time to finish you off!" Finn yelled as he did a jumping straight kick to the Ice King's face.

"You made a big mistake boy!" Ice King hissed as he shot Ice Lighting at Finn. Finn brought out his golden sword and used it to block all of the lighting. "You are no match for me and the powers in my crown!" Ice King rambled.

"Oh really?" Finn grinned as he picked up a stone and threw it at the crown.

"My crown!" Ice King screamed as the crown came off his head. "My powers!" he added as his magic started to fade away. "You won't get away with this boy. I'll be back and you'll see!" Ice King swore as he ran off.

"Yeah right!" Finn yelled back. "Flara are you alright?" Finn asked after making sure that the Ice King was gone.

"Fine, just fine," Flara reassured him relighting her fire.

"I am pleased to see that you are both well," Princess Bubblegum smiled.

"Princess Bubblegum, are you alright?" Finn asked.

"I am well, thanks to you two," Bubblegum said with a smile. "I would like to invite you to the Candy Kingdom so that I may give you a proper reward."

"Um thanks but we have to go!" Finn blushed remembering the kiss she gave him earlier.

Flara eyed her brother suspiciously sensing that something weird going on. "I don't have anywhere to go," she said.

"Yes we do," Finn said dragging his sister away.

"Alright Finn what's going on?" Flara demanded as soon as Bubblegum was far enough away.

"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Finn insisted shaking his head.

Seeing Finn reaction, Flara came to one conclusion. "You like her don't you?" Flara teased.

"What? NO!" Finn denied, though his face was becoming even redder than his sister.

"Finn has a crush! Finn has a crush! Wait till I tell mom!" Flara sang.

"Flara please don't!" Finn pleaded. Their playful antics were interrupted by the sounds of someone crying for help!

"Do you hear that bro?" Flara not really asking her brother.

"You know what this means right?" Finn grinned with anticipation.

"Adventure Time," Flara answered.

"Adventure Time!" Finn confirmed. The brother/sister duo fist bumped each other as they raced off to their new lives.

END?