WARNING:

-Spoilers up to chapter 394 in the Fairy Tail manga-

"Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger: the person you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger." Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy

Gray is no stranger to what members of Fairy Tail generally call the "Before Dawn" principle of combat.

It wasn't an absolute, infallible phenomenon, but it sure happened often enough that they'd had to come up with a name for it, so it followed that Gray became very well acquainted with it.

Simply stated, the Before Dawn principle was the way, in a close, intense fight, you seemed to almost lose before scraping a win. It happened often, and Gray was used to the experience, so used to the way battles became steadily worse before he found the way to victory, the strength to finish what he'd started.

Gray wasn't sure if the other guilds experienced this. He'd pondered asking, but decided against it. Maybe it was just a FT thing. He didn't know.

But he did know the feeling of crushing near-defeat, the pain of battles won by a hair, and figured he was truly sufficiently exposed, enough to understand truly that just because it got darker didn't mean it wasn't going to get better.

Or, so he thought.

When things started to get bad after the whole Magic Tournament fiasco had died down, he tried not to get hung up in it. Darkest before dawn. He repeated to himself, brushing off the irrational foreboding.

Then it started to get worse.

Laxus and his team—downed by some powerful, poison-spewing mage. A whole town—destroyed. 9 counselors—dead.

Gray forced the bad feelings away. Darkest before dawn. He reminded himself. Darkest before dawn.

It was going to be fine. This was Fairy Tail. There was a reason they'd been the strongest guild before the whole seven-years-lost-in-time island thing, and had risen back to that mantle so quickly. They had some of the strongest mages in the country, the best leaders, the most accomplished and stubborn members. They would all be fine. Darkest before dawn.

He finds that hard to say now.

Now that another of the ex-counselors is dead. Now that even Natsu has been defeated by another of these crazy, demon-magicians. Now that reports are flying everywhere of death and destruction, and people are dying and they can do nothing.

It feels like they're waiting under the hangman's noose, death a constant, inevitable ending. Everyone in the guild is subdued. Everyone is down-pressed or frustrated or hopeless, and it's starting to rub off on the firm, "this is not the end" attitude Gray has been working so hard to develop.

It sucks.

The depressed mood is like a phantom, a physical presence hanging over the guild, and it haunts every room, seeping into everyone's souls as the reports keep flying.

Another death. Another city destroyed.

Lisanna captured.

Natsu captured.

Erza captured.

All this talk about FACE, whatever the heck that is.

And then Elfman turns around and it ends up—hey, he's possessed—these magicians can take over other people's bodies, great—and now the guild's destroyed, and Gray finds himself on the enemies' fortress, fighting. He barely has time to realize how fast things are moving and try to wrap his mind around things, but there is no time for him to stop and figure this whole thing out.

And it certainly feels like it should be almost dawn, now. The dark doesn't last forever: it's got to be almost over, right?

Nope.

Turns out the flying fortress also turns into a giant death trap, complete with magic quicksand-like floors that swallow everyone. And Gray begins to consider that maybe, this time, the darkness isn't going to end.

But then—praise whatever deity was out there—Lucy pulled through, and they're alive, out of the goop and back in fighting mode.

Juvia's okay, Natsu's fine, and he's with them and Gajeel, facing four of Zeref's demons.

It feels like the dawn is close.

He is definitely ready to take down these idiots.

Of course, the Universe couldn't make it too easy, and decides to put a twist on things.

Suddenly, as Gray examines the enemies facing them, he is thrown into the past by the most unexpected face that could've appeared—his father. Before he even has time to react beyond a moment of denial and shock, Silver has rammed into him, and Gray is falling backwards, but he doesn't' slam into the hard stone he thought was to his back.

Nope, instead he and Silver are teleported away, and Gray is thrown into rubble, far away from where he'd begun.

But he doesn't have time to protest, because his brain is too busy trying to rewrite his entire reality, a reality which new includes his long-dead father, who was never dead, but instead became bad.

And who proceeds to explain possibly the most evil and terrifying plan Gray has ever heard, and in addition to his shock, he now has to worry about his friends, and his guild, and his entire country, because he can do nothing to stop FACE.

Nothing.

"Darkest before dawn" seems like an understatement, because this "dark" is pretty much dead hopeless. And Gray's again not sure if dawn is even coming.

Well, it turns out that things can get even darker than hopeless.

And, yeah, it's not really his dad. It's just his dead body, inhabited by a demon, a demon who happens to be his worst nightmare. Deliora.

Silver starts attacking after Gray's entire body is consumed with a rage he hasn't felt in the longest time, and there are no conflicted feelings in his veins, now. He's fighting back with everything in him, battling this person who isn't his father anymore, and although Silver manages to block most of his attacks, Gray doesn't stop. There is fury urging him on, giving strength to his limbs, and even though this whole day has been one series of confusing, unexpected twists, he feels like the dawn might be just around the corner, because now he has someone he can hurt, something tangible, something he has a chance to beat. But nope, the Universe isn't done yet.

Silver is immune to ice.

Well, there went Gray's main weapon.

For a second, he thinks he can make it work—ice cannon with debris as ammo? Totally a good idea—but, again, no, that's not gonna work. And neither is his second plan of using Silver's ice against him.

So Gray faces his father down, mind spinning, feeling like the whole world is covered in shadow.

Silver proceeds to kick Gray's butt.

And it's not fun on the receiving end, not at all, but Gray thinks he's justified—his mind is a bit too busy rearranging all of history and trying to think of a way out of this and destroy Deliora all while anger muddles his senses, and so he thinks he shuts down for a minute as the beating continues, but then as he rages mentally against everything and tries to shut down despair and the reminders of all the pain he'd left behind, an idea makes its way to his head.

Iced shell.

Ice couldn't harm Silver, but it had certainly worked well enough to contain him last time, so how could this time be any different? He could do this, could win this, could defeat Deliora and save his friends from this destruction. Even if he wasn't there to see it, the dawn would still come, and his friends would be able to pull through, live to see the dawn, even if it was without Gray.

He is so prepared to do this. There is no doubt in his mind, no indecision or hesitation, and Gray begins the spell, and the spell feels exactly like it did last time—which isn't and wasn't pleasant—the spell feels rather like ice stabbing through his heart and then replacing his blood, jabbing its way down his arms and torso, consuming him from the inside out—but the rage and desire for revenge made it worth it.

It is then, as the spell begins and Silver starts to realize his mistake, that Gray thinks of his friends; truly thinks about them and how this will affect them, what this will do to them. He thinks of Natsu, how the Dragon Slayer had glared at him the last time he'd attempted this spell. "Didn't you hear my voice? I didn't want you to die." He thinks of Erza, of Lucy and Gajeel and Mirajane and Elfman and Wendy, and his guild, and thinks of their smiles. He thinks of Lyon, the brother he'd just gotten back. He remembers Ur, her smile and her selflessness. He thinks of Juvia, of her love and her joy, and her laugh. Ultear flashes across his mind, and everything in him sinks and freezes at the same time.

No.

He moves, casting the other ice-make subconsciously, releasing the fatal spell, seeing how Silver is moving, feeling how his not-father has manipulated the Iced Shell, knows that it wouldn't have worked anyway, and begs forgiveness from each of them.

I'm sorry.

Silver reels back as his attack breaks another sculpture, and Gray readies the rest of his plan.

I was about to forget something important.

Silver spins, but Gray is ready.

I hear you.

I won't die.

I don't want to see my friends crying.

And he clutches the steel ball he'd found underneath Silver's ice, ignoring his not-father's words.

And Gray throws his only shot, forming an ice vambrace to speed up his attack and take care of this, once and for all.

He finally manages to land a hit on his not-father, and there's victory in his veins where rage had been moments before. Even though his heart might hurt a little more than anything else because it is like a stab wound to see what used to be his father like this, he gets over it because Silver is evil, and the emotional whiplash of this is just going to have to wait.

Oh, but no, the Universe just can't let that wrap up so nicely.

So Gray finally lets the knowledge that he's repressed this whole time come, lets his brain come to the conclusion he was already half-aware of, to the realization that Silver is still himself, is actually dead, is not evil, is not Deliora, but is being controlled by a necromancer, and once that particular mage is dead, so is his father, for real this time.

Forget dawn, Gray would give anything for a star right now.

The pain and rage spill out in yelling, and every word that comes from his father's mouth only makes the roaring in Gray's ears worse, only makes the pain increase.

Needless to say, Gray has had just about enough of surprises and plot twists by that point. His brain is in overdrive, whirling around and around, trying to really grasp everything Silver has said and make his brain get over the fact that in order to win, he's going to have to lose his dad again.

Dawn?

Nope, this feels like midnight has lasted an eternity and the sun has frozen over, burned out just like his heart has after the emotional rollercoaster it's been all day, and Gray wants to destroy and rage and collapse, because it's not fair, this is just like Ur all over again, but now he has to lose Silver for the second time and it hurts more than the first.

And so his head decides, "Nope, not doing this anymore" and Gray is left hollowed out and torn apart and bleeding and in pain both inside and out, but he still can't kill his father—just can't. Somehow he ends up in Silver's arms, in his dad's embrace for the first time in ten years (seventeen to be exact but he doesn't care about the fine details right now), and he's sobbing, great, this is the worst feeling ever. He can't kill him—can't kill him—can't kill him—can't kill him—and it hurts in a soul-sucking, bone-shattering way.

Gray doesn't see it so much as he feels Silver die, the necromancer having fallen miles away, wherever Juvia and Natsu and the others are, and in a morbid, painful way, he's grateful to them, to whoever it was who struck the final blow, because he would have never had the strength, and although it hurts—it's almost like losing Ur again, and the pain cuts so deep it's like an old wound reopened by an even bigger blade—he's glad he didn't have to do it himself, glad Silver was released from the horrible thing his life had become.

Darkest before dawn.

The words come back to Gray then, and it gives him the resolution as his father's last gift comes to him, manifesting on his wrist. The sorrow is still fresh and sharp, but he manages to push it away, thinking of Juvia and Natsu and Erza and Lucy and his guild and he straightens, Silver's legacy falling onto him with power and encouragement. And Gray reaffirms the truth he's come to know,

Darkest before dawn.

The ice demon slaying magic is coursing through his veins now, both alien and familiar, both jarring and comforting, and Gray lifts his head higher, determination wiping away the pain from his wounds.

Darkest before dawn.

It doesn't sound like a vague hope anymore. The words have resolve, have meaning.

Darkest before dawn.

They sound like a promise.

~fin~

...

A/N: Just in case you didn't know: I'm still alive. I did not fall off a cliff and die sometime in the last two months.

Just inactive and procrastinating.

Although this hasn't been edited very much, I felt like I should go ahead and post it, since I'm as happy with it as I can be right now, and I wanted to let any of my followers know that I still exist. I actually do have quite a few one-shots that I've written down somewhere but just haven't gotten around to finishing/uploading, so I might be posting more soonish? Also, my multi-chapter (after more than a year OTL) will be updated soon! I have almost finished the complete re-write of it.

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But, about this particular fanfic. I was inspired by that line in the Fall Out Boy song at the top, and what started as late-night scribbles turned into a 2,000+ word one-shot, and I honestly have no idea where half of this came from. But I hope you like it?
First FT fanfic that I've posted, but I do have a couple others that I've started. I might post them later, once I've edited them a bit.

So I wrote this because I absolutely love Gray's character and the latest manga arc has been one of my favorites so far, and every update just sends me into increased freak-outs because of how amazing the story and characters are.
I may have messed up the timeline a bit in this fic, I apologize. I checked as much as I could, but still might be off on some of the parts. I am also really hoping that Gray isn't too OOC here. I wrote this across three days and the original idea (and half the story) came at 3 am, so I'm not so sure about how sane and connected it sounds.

Hope you all enjoy anyway, and have a good day.

Reviews and favorites are always appreciated! Thanks for taking the time to read.