A/N: This is set around 2.11 ish but it goes a completely alternate route from what happened in canon. The title of this story comes from Narc by Interpol and is one of my favourite lyrics of all time. I should warn you this chapter does contain mentions of blood. This is just a short prologue and the next chapter will be up very soon.

All your history's like fire from a busted gun.

After what happened with Christopher in the visitation room, Lorna hasn't been right at all.

In the lunch hall, she pushes food about her tray, never finishes anything. She refuses to visit the rec room, spends most of her time in her cube, or in Nicky's. It's not particularly surprising; since the stir Christopher made, everyone's been talking about her, and there's only so much one person can take before they break. She isn't a strong person. She might like to act like she is, but Nicky knows better, can hear her crying in her bunk at night from her own cube. Lorna has been putting on this brave face, this chipper exterior to hide the demons inside of her, for so long, it must be exhausting. She can't go anywhere now without being harassed, made fun of. Even if it's just in whispers, it's impossible to ignore. There's only so many times Nicky can tell people to shut the fuck up.

All the fight she has left just evaporates out of her, like air let out of a balloon.

There's so much shit going on with Vee and Red and preparing for the upcoming storm (both in the literal sense of the word, and the one that's quite obviously brewing between the two tribes), that Nicky's initial plan to stick to Lorna like glue hasn't quite come into fruition. She has to fight Red's corner, too, and if she can't persuade Lorna to leave her bunk and come too, there isn't much she can do.

The most painful part is knowing that no matter what she does do, she's never going to be enough for Lorna. She never has been enough. She wishes with her heart and soul that she could be, that she could tell her it's all going to be okay and know that she really means it. But she can't, so she doesn't, because lying to her isn't going to take any of the pain away.

"Is she okay?" Piper asks in that fucking tone of hers that means she's asking more for her own state of mind than Lorna's, like she wants a new project to work on, just like after Tricia's death, and Nicky might have grown to like her a lot more now, to consider her one of her closest friends in this dump, but she still has to grit her teeth to stop herself from saying something she shouldn't.

"She's realised that the guy she's in love with is a total fucktard who wants nothing to do with her, the entire prison is talking about her like she's some bunny-boiling psychotic bitch... yeah, she's doing just great."

Piper raises her eyebrows, "hey, don't take it out on me. You know she did do a lot of scary stuff, Nicky. People are bound to talk. They just never expected it of- well, she always seemed so sweet."

Shaking her head, Nicky fidgets, scrapes a screw along the top of the work bench they're sat at, "she is sweet. She's still the same fucking person. She's still our Lorna. I don't understand how people can just forget that."

It's not that she's ignoring what Lorna did. It's not that she's denying that there's a problem. She can see through the haze of what she feels for Lorna just fine, even if everyone else thinks she can't. It's not that she refuses to acknowledge what Lorna did, she just doesn't see how that changes anything about the Lorna she knows. She's always known the girl was a little crazy, now she realises she's a big bit crazy, but that doesn't change how she feels about her. If anything, her overwhelming need to protect her is stronger now. The kid needs help. She doesn't need to have everyone who she's ever cared about shove her away like she's suddenly a disease they're afraid to catch.

The way Nicky sees it is this: Nicky used to be an addict. As an addict, she was destructive, a ticking bomb waiting to go off, rude to just about anyone who wasn't offering her a fix, someone nobody wanted to be around. Lorna's history may be different from hers, but she sees it the same way. She isn't the same person that she was, and neither is Lorna. What's in the past is no one's fucking business. The point is, Lorna wouldn't hurt a fly.

Nicky's tired of Piper, like she's tired of just about everybody else, but she can't leave because they still have at least another hour left in electrical before their work assignment is through. Fortunately, she's become pretty skilled in tuning out of conversation, and Piper soon seems to get the message, leaving her to fuck around with tools by herself. It's a slow day in the office. The worst kind of day when you're trying to escape from your own head. Her mind keeps drifting back to Lorna, imagining her behind the wheel of the prison transport van, trying to act normal, trying not to think about her trip to Albany, and all the shit that has happened since. Maybe she still cracks jokes, still listens to her radio shows. What does she do for the hours she has to wait for Rosa to be done at the hospital?

She stops thinking about it because she suddenly can't stop imagining her driving the van off the road out of desperation, and it would be okay if it was something she could honestly say she couldn't imagine Lorna doing, but she's not so sure anymore.

When work assignment finally ends, Nicky heads straight for Lorna's cube, hoping she'll be back from herding Rosa around. She finds her bunk empty, and is halfway to the rec room when she sees a small brunette head bobbing through a crowd of inmates, and quickly changes direction, walking straight into someone and only half-mumbling a 'sorry'.

"Hey! Morello! Wait up!"

She's relieved when Lorna turns around, stops in the middle of the corridor. Her cheeks and the tip of her nose are pink from being outside, and she's wearing a tiny smile on her bright red lips, which widens a little when she sees Nicky.

"Where you in such a hurry to get to, huh?" Nicky asks once she's face to face with her.

"Oh, nowhere, y'know, just thought I'd take a shower before dinner, I guess."

Nicky searches her eyes, finds nothing there, but her tone of voice is a little off, "yeah? You want some company?" she asks, falling back on old habits. It's always easier to make a joke, have a flirt, than admit to being concerned.

Rolling her eyes, Lorna's smile tugs at her lips a little more, "you wish."

"That doesn't sound like a solid no," Nicky continues, smirking. Lorna elbows her, but there's a grin on her face that Nicky hasn't seen in a while.

"I'll see you at dinner," she says, offering her a little wave as she disappears into the crowd again.

Nicky watches her go, and okay so she might not be quite the same, but moments like this, when she sees the old Lorna peeking through, give her hope that one day she'll have her back. There's only so much people can say about her before she becomes old news, right? In a place like this there's always something happening, always something to talk about. Lorna and Christopher will only do the rounds in the rumour mill for a few days and they'll be talking about someone else. That's how Litchfield works.

She sighs, runs her fingers through her hair, and makes the decision to go back to her bunk, maybe do some reading before dinner. The rec room doesn't feel appealing anymore. She's spent enough of today avoiding people.

Nicky's only had her back turned for about ten seconds when she hears the noise that plummets her back in the other direction. She's moving before her mind can catch up with her legs and almost trips over when a second scream follows the first, ringing in her ears and pounding through her body. Inmates are pushing past her in the other direction, and she's having to fight hard against the current, but she can't stop. Her eyes dart around, searching desperately for the short brunette who only left her minutes ago, but she's nowhere to be found, and Nicky can feel her heart hammering away in her chest, threatening to give out, and she pushes someone out of the way, doesn't even pause to apologise.

It happens all at once.

At first, she just looks like she's sitting on the ground, and Nicky wants to shout at her, to tell her to get up, ask her what the fuck she thinks she's doing scaring the shit out of her like that. But there's something weird about the way she's holding herself, and then she sees the panicked look on her face, and she's still propelling herself forward, dropping to her knees, when she catches the first sight of the blood.

Lorna's clutching her neck, her legs splayed out under her, and her eyes are wide and terrified, and the blood is everywhere. It's oozing between her fingers, pooling on her khakis, drizzling down her chest. It's sticky and red and her skin is so very pale beneath it, and it's all Nicky can see.

She moves on auto pilot, pulls Lorna to her, tries to assess where the fuck it's all coming from. She presses her fingers tightly over Lorna's which are thick with blood, and she's shouting for help but nobody's listening and Lorna tries to speak but nothing comes out and all Nicky can think is no, not like this, I can't lose her like this. Not now.

A/N: I am sorry. That's all.