Chapter 1: Otp - One True Pairing

My name is Uryu Ishida is about the strange friend group of Uryu Ishida, Szayel Aporro Granz and Ulquiorra Schiffer. These college kids will face problems that aren't so relatable such as an abusive father, a one-sided love obsession and an inability to express oneself. They will have to face their own problems and make their lives what they want them to be. Even if that 'want' is only to pass midterms.

AU with no powers whatsoever.

My name is Ulquiorra Schiffer. I'm actually really, really shocked at the moment. Oh yeah, I'm not really the type to show it on my face, so it's possible that people misunderstand me and that's normally okay because I could just tell them what I'm feeling, but this wasn't just an ordinary shock that I could so easily respond to. You want to know why? It's because the guy I've had a crush on for the longest time...

"So... What I was saying is I like you and... I want ya to go out with me."

...said something like that! Even though he's known to hook up with any pretty girl in sight! And I'm a guy. Is this a godsend!? A miracle!?

"I guess this was a bad choice after all... The pink freak told me that much... I'll just leave th-"

He began walking away from Ulquiorra, head hung low in defeat, until his wrist was grabbed.

Wait a minute, I do too!

Turning back, Grimmjow locked eyes with the blank-faced teen.

Rather I should be the one asking you...

Yet, as soon as Ulquiorra tried to talk... "Uhm..." was all he could get out. It seemed to be enough as Grimmjow lifted his head and tried to regain part of his manhood.

"So I'll pick you up for a movie at eight?"

"Yes."

Grimmjow Jeagerjaques is the quarterback for our school's football team. I like to watch his practice while I run. You see, I'm on the track team with my friends Uryu Ishida and Szayel Granz. Me and Szayel aren't that fast, though. I only joined to watch Grimmjow and Szayel only joined to have an excuse to see Uryu in his track uniform. Unlike us two, Uryu had no ulterior motive for joining the track team. He just loves to run and is really good at it.

Ulquiorra's attention was drawn from his stretches to the football teams scrimmage as Grimmjow let out a yelp.

"C'mon, Grimm! Keep your eyes on the ball, not on the track team!"

"Do ya wanna know where my foots gonna be in about two seconds, Red?!"

"I told you not to call me 'Red'!"

"And I told you that only hot chicks are allowed to call me 'Grimm'!"

Renji Abarai, the failing student, rebel, kendo fighter, football and soccer player, was one of the school's most social and popular students. Most of the girl's would die to be with him and the guys would kill to be him.

I don't really know why. I mean, yeah, he's a nice guy and good athlete, but there's nothing else about him that I find appealing.

Renji winked, smacked Grimmjow on the ass and gave one of his larger than physically possible grins. Grimmjow was about to go into attack mode as Renji started to laugh, until they both heard Uryu's voice. He was somehow now standing next to Grimmjow, facing Renji.

I did say he was fast. He's won every competition he's entered and has a record for being the fastest male in Japan at only eighteen.

Renji went from the beginnings of laughter, to the beginnings of tears. Uryu was pissed.

"Did you just slap his ass and wink?"

Most people should be feared when they're screaming, but Uryu should be feared in situations like this, where you have to strain your ears to hear him.

"I was just messin' with 'im! Trust me, Grimm here is so not my type!"

"Well I'm not so sure that you're my type anymore!"

Most of the track members and football players weren't paying any mind to the three of them. This was a usual occurrence, after all.

Uryu Ishida, the perfect student, runner, archer, fashion designer and even judo fighter, was a little off in some respects. He just had a way of rileing everyone up, even when he probably shouldn't. Also, he lacks the ability to back down from an opponent. Whether it be a screaming match or a fist fight, Uryu didn't give in till the end.

People like this shouldn't date.

Especially mindless jocks who always seem to do stupid things.

*cough* Renji Abarai *cough*

"Weren't you the one who was jealous when I was justtalking to another guy!?"

"You two were 'just talking' in your dorm for 45 minutes!"

"We were working on a school project together!"

Yeah, this was a weekly occurrence.

Good thing track only meets on Fridays...

"And they're at it again. I give them one more week, tops."

And here he goes again, trying to sabotage another of Uryu's relationships...

Szayel Aporro Granz, a genius who would be top of the class, if he was ever in class. The only ones he shows up to are the ones he shares with Uryu. Oh yeah, he's been in love with Uryu since the day they met, but Uryu pretends to be blind to Szayel's feelings. Whenever Uryu tries to date someone, Szayel will do something to ruin the relationship. Somehow, Renji has willed through all of Szayel's attacks so far, but Szayel still hasn't given up.

"What are you saying, Szayel? The more he argues with someone, the more he likes them."

"Ulqui, by your logic, Ury is in love with his stalker, Kurotsuchi."

Mayuri Kurotsuchi, this school's most hated student, Szayel's number one enemy, and Uryu's number one stalker. And yes, the 'number one' is necessary because Uryu actually has multiple stalkers.

"You know what I mean, Szayel. If you look, his eyes are always smiling when he argues with certain people, as long as their argument is more routine than serious. Take Ichigo Kurosaki and Yumic-"

"Ulqui! Go scrub your mouth this instant! We don't say Ayasegawa's name unless it's followed by an insult to that ugly, bird-brain!"

"Well, unlike you, Uryu likes talking about clothing with him."

Yumichika Ayasegawa, the delinquent that shows up to just about as many classes as Szayel. His fashion sense may be a little gaudy, but Uryu likes how the man stands by and defends his own style, instead of following the crowd. Szayel's number two enemy, but one of Uryu's close friends.

And before you ask, because I know this will be blowing up in the comment section, Szayel, my dear friend Szayel, has 49 total enemies.

"He can talk about clothing with me, if that's what he wants."

"But Uryu likes talking with him because they're in the same design class. I'm surprised you didn't take it as well."

Szayel frowned and pushed his glasses up.

"You know that I have too many enemies in that class for it to end well. Ayasegawa, Kurotsuchi's robot of a little sister, Inoue, the Kuchiki runt, and don't even get me started on the teacher."

"What's wrong with Otoribashi-sensei?"

"For starters, he makes people call him 'Rose'. It's ridiculously annoying."

"You just hate him because he has better hair than you."

Before Szayel could retort, their coach stopped next to where they were sitting on the ground, pretending to be 'stretching'. She sighed.

"Look, you two… I know you're not going to be running laps around the football field with the rest of the team, and I don't really care if you do or don't, but if you're going to stay on this team, then I want you to at least make an effort."

Szayel arched an eyebrow.

"At least we're on the track. I don't see you demanding that Uryu come back here and participate."

"That's true, but Uryu is also the most talented person on this team and I want him to stay on this team. Even if that means that he's going to duck out and yell at Renji once in a while." Their coach looked to the where Uryu was, lowering her voice so that no one but Ulquiorra and Szayel could hear. "Also, he scares me a little. I want to stay on his good side." She began to jog away, but quickly yelled over his shoulder. "Get moving, boys!"

Once she was out of earshot, Szayel looked back at Ulquiorra.

"Yoruichi Shihoin… I don't mind her, she's a pretty cool coach. Anyone else would make us run or just kick us off the team."

"I thought, last week, you hated her."

"Well, Ulqui, my dear friend, I've learned to enjoy her company."

Ulquiorra stood and Szayel followed.

"Well, Szayel, my dear friend, I've learned that she is very dedicated to her husband of seven years, as I'm sure you learned as well. And of course, Uryu would never let himself be attracted to someone who already has a lover."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"I believe it means that, originally, you were jealous of her beauty, but you realized that Uryu would never be into someone in a dedicated relationship, so you decided that she was not to be considered as one of your 'enemies'."

Szayel rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything against it. They began walking the track, reveling in the sounds of Uryu screaming at his idiotic boyfriend.