Author's Note: A one-shot that jumped into my head after an idle conversation and wouldn't leave until I wrote it. My other stories that need to be updated are so angry at me, you wouldn't believe it.

Ice Queen

(*)

Junior's, Weiss decided immediately, was not her kind of place.

Though she certainly didn't live like one anymore, at heart she was still an aristocrat. Given the choice of places to spend her free time, she preferred a venue that suited that upbringing. Classical music, fine wines, waltzing beneath crystal chandeliers. She rarely mentioned this to her co-workers at Beacon, of course (like she needed to give them more reason to call her a princess!) but she could hardly deny it was the truth. A nightclub with lights flashing in random patterns and bass cranked up so high her teeth rattled was not her idea of a good time.

Try telling Yang that, though.

"Why am I even here?!" Weiss snapped, screaming to be heard over the 'music' as Yang strolled ahead of her, hips swaying to the music as she moved through the crowd like a shark through water. Under less loud and annoying circumstances, she had to admit she would have been watching that particular show quite happily; their status as a… well, maybe not a couple, but something like it… had spread through the entirety of Beacon like wildfire, and pretending she wasn't attracted to Yang when it was common knowledge they were sleeping together was a level of denial that even Weiss couldn't quite manage.

"I told you!" Yang shouted back cheerfully. "Blake was sick or something, so I needed backup!"

"But she seemed fine yesterday!"

Elsewhere…

Blake Belladonna looked at her car, and tried really hard to resist the urge to go to animal form, hunt down her best friend, and eat her face.

It was, technically speaking, not damaged. And she hadn't taken the engine out this time, which was a nice touch. It was just that somehow, and Blake didn't really want to know how she'd pulled this one off, it was balanced on top of a telephone pole. And at the bottom of the pole, around eye height, was a Post-it note which read, simply,

Dear Blake,

Got bored, wanted to hang with Weiss.

Laters, Yang.

"You can tell she's my best friend," Blake said softly, to nobody in particular, "Because despite everything, I probably won't murder her for this."

At Junior's…

"It was a sudden cold!" Yang chirped as they finally broke out of the crowd and approached the bar. "Oh, hey, there's who I need to talk to! Junior! Junior! You still owe me a drink, right?"

A large man in a respectably expensive suit and a neatly trimmed beard looked over at the screaming blonde from his position behind the bar, and paled. Weiss couldn't hear him, but he muttered something that her limited lip-reading skills told her was probably 'Son of a bitch,' and put on a fake smile. "Blondie! You're… here. That never ends in disaster."

"I know, right?" Yang said. "All those fires were such weird coincidences."

"The weirdest," Junior grumbled, his tone suggesting this answer had been coached into him. His gaze turned to Weiss. "Huh, you brought a date? Weird for you. The girls will be jealous."

"Luckily for you, I'm here on business, not pleasure," Yang said.

Oh, thank God, Junior thought with a sigh of relief that was almost audible over the music. 'Business' just meant that Yang was expecting to take advantage of his services as an information broker. Now, granted, she was expecting to take advantage of them for free, but the loss of a commission on even the juiciest intel was still better than the inevitable medical bills, repair costs, and bribes to the fire marshal when she came to his club for 'pleasure.' Yang… partied hard, to put it mildly. "So what kinda business would that be?"

"Oh, you know, the usual boring stuff. Faunus being crazier than usual, people keep talking about some new players running around, it's all a huge mess. So we need to know if you know what they know," Yang said sweetly.

Junior winced. "Blondie… I'm not sure I can help you with that. I know a few things about those lunatics, but they're major players and there is such a thing as info that's out of my weight class. I know I like to say I know everything, but the people moving behind the scenes in the Faunus population these days… they're hardcore. Not the kind of people whose agents go around sharing secrets because the girls got them tipsy. Hell, I can't even be sure they're real."

"So," Yang interrupted, "you pour me that drink and tell me everything you do know, and I'll decide if it's useful or not! Honey, you can stay here, we'll be back after Junior here lets me pore through all the stuff he usually charges money for."

Weiss arched a bemused eyebrow. "So. You didn't actually need me to come along, did you?"

"Well. It's possible this is a one-person mission, yes. And if, as a result, we happen to finish early and stick around for a few drinks and some dancing, I guess it wouldn't be a horrible way to end the case," Yang said innocently. "Just a consideration."

"You're insufferable."

"And you're tempted."

"… Can we at least head somewhere else? I'd rather take this to some place with a little more class, if you don't mind."

Yang's grin was brilliant. "Oooooooh, the queen of properness playing hooky with me after all!"

"More like I know you won't quit whining until I give you your way," Weiss said with a roll of her eyes.

"And you find it endearing, so we're good!" Yang chirped. "Don't worry, frost dragon. If you wanna head somewhere tasteful, I've always thought your bedroom was incredibly elegant." Yang winked, prompting an involuntary shiver from her sorta-girlfriend, and dragged a very unhappy-looking Junior into the back room for a chat about things he normally sold for a lot of money but would give away to avoid a lot of fire.

Weiss sighed and picked up Junior's abandoned martini, draining it in one gulp and letting the burn of the alcohol shock some sense into her. Damn her. I do find it endearing, that's the whole problem. When my biography is written, there will be a whole chapter about how the Schnee Princess, with her will of frozen iron, who faced down a thousand foes and overcame a thousand obstacles to achieve true greatness, was nonetheless the willing and humiliated plaything of a crazy dragon. She then smirked despite herself. Well. Considering she was also a virgin a few months ago, and yet she now has an encyclopedic knowledge of certain sexual acts she didn't even know existed, it's hard for said princess to say that there aren't some benefits.

"I thought I smelled lust," purred a feminine voice from behind her, and she couldn't help but note that somehow she was able to hear it over the pounding of the music, as if it were tied in electrically to some primal center of her brain. "But I admit I was hoping for something a little taller and blonder from the particular flavor of it."

"Oh, she never comes around anymore, Mil. We should just accept we've been abandoned."

"She came by not so long ago, dearest."

"Yes, but we try not to talk about that one, love. Children and bizarre Valkyries were involved."

Weiss, not entirely sure what to make of this conversation turned to look at exactly what had slunk up behind her. And something odd happened.

They were… hot. Really, really hot. Unspeakably so. Identical twins, right down to the milky white skin, raven hair, and gleaming green eyes. Each one was wrapped in a frilly, lacy thing that had more in common with lingerie than something you'd wear to the club, one in brilliant red, and one in pure white. Despite the odd attire, they both looked perfectly at ease; more like a pair of reigning queens than part of the crowd. They didn't 'attend' the club, they 'owned' it.

And so, as an admitted and exclusive lesbian, it was odd to Weiss that despite their almost preternatural beauty and grace, she kind of just wanted to punch them both.

"Can I help you?" Weiss asked, trying very hard to keep the hostility out of her voice, mostly because she didn't know why she was even feeling it. It was just a bizarre reaction beneath her skin that she couldn't suppress. She couldn't put it into words, even.

Well, no, I can. It's just that "There is something about you that really pisses me off," isn't the most dignified reasoning.

"Oh, I don't know," the red twin said, smirking like a satisfied cat. "Can you help us, dear heart?"

"We find ourselves terminally bored, do we not, Miltia?" the twin in white purred. "And while I normally detest a girl's color scheme being so close to mine…"

"My dearest Melanie does love to be a unique little flower," Miltia added.

"… but you simply are the most interesting thing in the club this evening. And we do love interesting things."

"Love to study them."

"Learn about them."

"Ravish them over and over until they experience such intense pleasure they lose consciousness."

"That part is our favorite."

Weiss almost laughed, but growing up in the Schnee family had taught her a great deal about pretending to be polite. When Daddy's business partners visited for dinner, they did like to see a house full of happy young ladies, even if she and Winter were at each other's throats over who had ruined who's favorite dress (It was Winter. Winter had ruined the gown, and it was silk. Weiss loved her sister, but there would always be lingering hate over that act of barbarism). "Well. I appreciate the attention, ladies, but I'm afraid I'm here with someone."

The two women took a step back, their eyes widening. "I… that… did you just say…"

"No. Thank you, but no," Weiss repeated, polite but firm.

"… Oh, God, not again," Melanie muttered.

"Are we losing our touch? Do we have warts or something that nobody told us about? Because this is getting bizarre," Miltia snapped. "She's not even blushing, Mel. Why isn't she blushing?"

"I knew we should have gone for the drunk guy in the corner. But nooooooo, you just haaaaaad to have the mysterious white-haired stranger."

"I had to have her? You were the one who kept blabbering about how she smelled like lust, you might recall."

"Well, she does! And I have no idea why she isn't swooning into our arms as we speak! Her aura just screams of…"

"Heeeeeeey! Mel! Mil!" Yang called out cheerfully, waving to the group as she ran over. "You found my girl! Have you seduced her yet? I'll help."

"Ex-cuse me?" Weiss snapped, an eyebrow arching in disapproval.

"I was asking if you were gonna have sex with the twins!" Yang said warmly, her tone suggesting this was an absolutely normal question to ask. "If so, the beds in the back room are big enough for four, and I could use the release. Junior was useless."

"Junior usually is," Miltia purred, turning away from Weiss the clamp onto Yang's arm, and Weiss had to resist the urge to rip her face off right then and there. "But you are always a sight for sore eyes, Yang darling. Do give us a kiss."

Well.

Now she knew what she didn't like about them.

It wasn't that strange, really. Yang had admittedly frequented this place very often. The random whores apparently were regulars. And Weiss knew, all too well, that Yang most certainly got around. Now, seeing the easy warmth they interacted with, her conscious mind snapped down like a bear trap on the idea that she was always a little bit afraid of with Yang.

It was a stupid thing to worry about. She and Yang were not… a couple, really. Yang still saw other people, both men and women, and Weiss was… she was… fine with it. She was. She had known what she was getting into with the dragon, and she knew to keep her emotions separate from it. Just raw physical lust, nothing more, nothing less. And she was perfectly fine with that.

Melanie attached herself to Yang's other arm and nuzzled against her neck, and Yang didn't seem too upset by it.

And Weiss. Was. Perfectly fine. With that! Really.

"So," Weiss said, in a tone that was perfectly fine and not a feral snarl at all. "You know. These two. Charmers?"

"Oh, we go way back. Melanie and Miltia are like, my favorite half-succubi information brokers," Yang said cheerfully.

"I take it. You used. To date them?" Weiss said. The martini glass she had taken from Junior shattered in her grip. She didn't notice.

"Erm… Weiss… honey? Are you…" Yang began.

"Date? Oh, darling no," Melanie said.

"We don't date. It requires things we simply haven't the time for!" Miltia added.

"Emotional support."

"Cuddling."

"Long walks on the beach!"

"Meeting the family, full of vile old people and children."

"Commitment," the twins finished in unison, saying the word as though it was radioactive.

"What we had with Yang, dearest, was sex."

"Amazing sex!" Miltia chirped. "And in considerable quantities."

"And we've missed it, dear, so if you want to pack up your little girlfriend, I do believe our old room is free…"

"Yes. Dear. Have you. Missed it?!" Weiss asked calmly. So calmly. So calmly. Blood dripped from her hand, and it was a calm drip.

"I… girls, can you… excuse me?" Yang asked, her keenly honed dragon instincts telling her that she was in trouble for some reason, but unable to fully grasp why. Disentangling herself from the (by now very frustrated) twins, Yang pulled Weiss off to the other side of the bar and whispered, "Um… is something bothering you?"

"No. No! What would be bothering me?" Weiss snapped. "I've learned so much about you. Why, I even found out why you pursued me so strongly for so long! Your type is bitches in frilly outfits."

"So… that's a no on the foursome then?" Yang asked.

"Yes! Yes, that is a no on the foursome!" Weiss shrieked.

"Um… did the girls do something wrong? Did they say something to you before I got here?" Yang asked. "Because I'm not sure what's going on. I mean… it's nothing important. They are… seriously just absolutely meaningless to me. And they even invited you to come with us! I thought it would be… y'know. Fun. Since we're a couple now, and all."

We're not a couple! Weiss thought. We're just… we're whatever you and they were. It's all meaningless, so do whatever you want! I don't care. I'll hate you forever if you go back there with them, but not because I care.

… I'm an idiot.

She sighed. "I… think I'm just going to go home. I've had a long day. You stay and do whatever you want."

"… I wanna stay with you. This is a date," Yang said.

Weiss smiled sadly. "Yang. Really. I knew what I was getting into here. You are who you are, and I don't expect… don't want… you to change that for me. So please. Do what makes you happy."

Yang pondered this. "Ah, okay." She turned, walked back to the twins, and Weiss tried not to look…

As she pecked them each chastely on the cheek and said, "Sorry, girls. You're a lotta fun, but I can't really stick around. Something's bugging the girlfriend, and… well, gotta keep her happy, right? See you some other time, maybe!"

"I…" Melanie said.

"That…" Miltia said.

"What?!" they blurted in unison.

"Girlfriend?!" Melanie snapped. "Yangie, we thought that was a joke. Surely you of all people wouldn't do something so… so… I can't even say it."

"Monogamous," Miltia hissed, shuddering with revulsion at the very thought.

"Eh? No, not… well, maybe? I'm not sure. She's weird and doesn't like to talk about things," Yang said cheerfully, ignoring the growing blush on Weiss's face. "And she's repressed, and her emotions are crazy like silly string, and she won't admit when she's angry or when she's sad so you have to walk on eggshells around her all the time, and you wouldn't believe how much I've had to teach her in bed…"

"Yang! Stop helping!" Weiss squeaked.

"But she's mine, and I worked hard for her," Yang said proudly. "So when I can make her happy, I think I probably should. Right?"

I… I… I… Weiss thought, her mind going as blank as her face. She felt something running down her cheek and touched a cool tear, despite the fact her lips were curling into a smile seemingly against her own will.

"You really are insufferable, you crazy lizard," she muttered fondly. "Why do I never know what's going on in your head…?"

"So. Y'know. It was nice knowing you, but… laters!" Yang said, turning away from the twins without the slightest hint of anything in her voice other than cheer. The half-succubi looked on in something not unlike awe…

And rage. Oh, yes, rage.

"Well. I suppose it's for the best, Yangie."

"You are clearly not yourself at the moment. So, when you get bored of that clingy…"

"Inexperienced…"

"Ice queen…"

"… And want a real woman again, feel free to look us up."

Yang stopped. She prepared to turn on her heel, and something very dangerous in her eyes made Weiss grab her wrist and draw her face down to look her in the eyes. "Honey. No. Murder is bad."

"I wasn't gonna kill 'em," she growled. "Just hurt 'em a little. They're part demon, they can take it."

"Relax. Yang. Relax," Weiss said, softly. Warmly. "I'm not angry. If anything… well, I'm feeling a bit challenged."

"… Huh?"

Releasing her girlfriend, she sauntered over to the twins, putting a bit more sashay into her step than was strictly necessary. Arching an eyebrow, she said, "So. Ice queen, am I? I'm not sure I approve of that statement. Mind giving me a chance to disabuse you of the notion?"

"… … … Huh?" Yang, Melanie, and Miltia all said in perfect, and frankly slightly creepy, unison.

"You keep talking about the back rooms," Weiss purred. "How about you two show me one? Just the three of us." She winked. "I'll show you why 'Yangie' is so interested, if nothing else."

Melanie and Miltia did not often look openly shocked, but this was a day of surprises for them. A quick, almost imperceptible glance passed between them confirming that yes, This Seemed Hot. And another aimed at Yang, which said, Yes, This Would Be Good Payback. The twins smiled, a bit like sharks that had scented blood.

"Well! Far be it from us to hold a grudge, dear," Miltia said with a smirk.

"Yangie, darling, do find a way to entertain yourself," Melanie said with a sadistic grin, taking Weiss's arm and leading her behind the bar. "We'll be awhile."

Weiss disappeared into the back rooms with the two girls, and just before the door closed, she turned… and gave Yang possibly the most evil smile she had ever seen on a human face. Yang could practically see the storm clouds forming behind her lover as she cackled internally.

Reassured, the dragon sat down at the bar and smiled.

Five minutes later, Weiss walked back out with a skip in her step and said, "Okay, we can go. You were right, this club was fun. My place or yours?"

"Whichever is closer. You have never been hotter to me," Yang purred, drawing the cheerful girl into the most passionate kiss she could get away with in public. Weiss squeaked in surprise, but a few seconds of hands in… places… convinced her very quickly to just giggle into Yang's mouth and wrap her arms around her girlfriend… yes, girlfriend, and yes, hers… and enjoy the moment.

After a few minutes of that… very, very long minutes… Yang broke off for air, nibbling gently on her lover's ear. "So… what did you do to them?"

Weiss smiled, just a little bit. "Oh, you know. I guess I am kind of an ice queen after all."

(*)

Melanie and Miltia shivered. This, they felt, was a pretty natural reaction to being hung from the ceiling inside giant icicles that covered them up to their necks. Which, incidentally, was exactly where they were.

"So. Mel," Miltia said. "I don't think she actually wanted to have sex with u-"

"Miltia, love, do shut up."