Dear Journal,

This morning was rough, no doubt about it.

Nora hasn't returned.

I honestly thought that she would have made it back by the time I woke up...

I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and I don't think Pyrrha did either, in all likelihood. There was no surprise breakfast in bed today, no beaming smile to wake up to - so I decided to return the favour for once. I crept out of our room and whipped up some breakfast for her. A glass of orange juice, a big old bowl of Pumpkin Pete's (figured it might make her laugh), and some slices of buttered toast. I kinda burnt the toast though.

(How do I mess up the simplest of things?!)

When I came back she was just barely waking up - and I couldn't help but notice small, damp patches on her pillow. I guess she's taking this harder than I thought, and who can blame her? One of our teammates, one of our friends, might be dead right now.

If I'd just made a better plan, or fought harder, or something, maybe Nora would be with us instead of...somewhere else.

I was kinda nervous since Pyrrha was only in her nightwear and I didn't wanna seem rude...but I said 'good morning!' in the friendliest tone I could and offered breakfast to her. She smiled politely and thanked me, but I still couldn't ignore her eyes; they were kinda red and a little watery. I think she knew I'd noticed, too.

So we sat down and ate in silence. I didn't what to say or do, as always. She didn't even find the Pumpkin Pete's thing funny. I'm useless. What kind of leader am I? Why didn't I cheer her up, or talk about weapons or Mistral or something?! I was just too scared as usual. Too frightened to speak in case I made things worse, like I always do.

Useless.

Pyrrha didn't invite me to practice on the rooftops this morning, so I didn't ask. Instead we eventually managed to start up a shaky conversation about the assignment Professor Oobleck had given us. We got dressed and worked together on that for a while. I guess we were both just...trying to pretend it was another normal day. It was anything but.

Around 10:00 AM, Team RWBY knocked on our door.

I guess it's no surprise that they found out about what happened so quickly. They're like our closest friends here at Beacon, after all. Ruby seemed pretty flustered about it all; she and Blake came over to see how I was holding up whilst Yang and Weiss were chatting to Pyrrha. Thing is, there wasn't a lot me or Pyrrha wanted to talk about, or could talk about. Neither of us wanted to go over the events of last night, and as much as Team RWBY tried to convince us Nora will be okay, I didn't wanna hear it. Wishful thinking isn't going to bring her back to us.

Eventually, I asked Ruby if me and Pyrrha could be left alone, especially since we had to break the news to Ren soon. She looked a little hurt but seemed to understand.

She and her team said their goodbyes and made a silent exit; it was just me and Pyrrha again. And we weren't scheduled for any classes today, so neither of us could really put it off anymore. We knew what we had to do.

It was time to go talk to Ren.

Pyrrha led the way to the infirmary without saying a word. To be honest, walking down there felt like marching to my own death. I don't know how many years Ren and Nora have been friends - I just know it's a lot of years.

The infirmary smelt pretty off-putting. Like, the smell of bleach, air freshener and orange juice all mixed together. It gave me a headache the second we walked in there. It took me a few seconds to spot Ren...I'm used to seeing him in green. He was in a hospital gown though - and he looked exhausted. He didn't even notice us approaching until we were a couple feet away.

Pyrrha was the first to speak, asking Ren how he was and if he slept well. He just kinda nodded and smiled.

"So...where's Nora?"

I wasn't prepared for him to ask that question, even though there was no avoiding it. I tried to speak but the sound wouldn't come out. Pyrrha asked to be excused...her eyes were watering and she left the room abruptly. So I sat down next to Ren's bed and started to explain. They were memories I didn't want to revisit, but I owed it to Ren and to Nora to recall what happened, however unpleasant it might be.

First I told him about how courageously Nora fought when he was first injured - how she rushed to his aid and took out a ton of Ursi before she leapt at the King Taijitu. Then I told him about Goodwitch and Oobleck coming to help us...and then, I described the horrifying waves of Grimm which arrived and how we had to flee to survive.

I described how Nora was knocked away into the forest by the Taijitu, and how we were all running away instead of towards her.

Being the team leader is my job. So I tried to offer all this cliché team leader garbage; that Nora was a strong huntress, and that she was probably on her way back right now. Truth was, I was just as worried as he was (and I still am). Ren tried to keep his calm, collected composure but...but this time, I could see through it. Just little signs on his face as I was telling him all this, like constant blinking and lip twitching. Signs that made it clear that none of this is okay.

Ren was nodding the whole time, he remained stoic - but this was nothing short of tearing him inside out. And it had to be my job to do it. Not Professor Ozpin's, not Professor Goodwitch's or Pyrrha's job, mine. That's the experience I get as a team leader.

I really hate this responsibility.

It didn't feel right to stay after I'd talked with Ren; I figured he just wanted everyone and everything to get away from him, even if he didn't say a word. So I left him to his solitude and went to find Pyrrha. It didn't take long, given that she was hidden in a nook halfway down the infirmary hallway. She perked up when I found her...but I can't stand it, really.

The way we hide how we're feeling and pretend everything's just dandy and normal. I really wish that we could just be more honest with each other, instead of always disguising ourselves. I feel like I barely know Pyrrha at the moment because we're just lying to ourselves and to each other.

My team is breaking apart at the seams and I'm so powerless to do anything about it! Why did Ozpin give me this role?!

At least Pyrrha and I got to chat in the evening before bed. She spent the entire afternoon sparring with other students, whilst I just walked around the Academy for hours on end. We both have our differing ways of taking our minds off things, I guess. Anyway, we came to an agreement...although I'm starting to regret saying 'yes' to the idea.

If Nora isn't back by tomorrow night, me and Pyrrha are going out into Forever Fall to find her.

I'm terrified, really, because I have a bad hunch that Nora ain't gonna be back and we're going to have to go out there...without Ren's help. I mean, Pyrrha's an amazing fighter but me? I'm a rookie, let's face it. And let's be serious, how many Grimm can the two of us take out? What if we get swarmed in an ambush by Nevermores and Deathstalkers?

What chance do we even have of finding Nora?

My head is still spinning from all of this. Pyrrha decided to get to sleep early, and I reckon it's because she wants to be fully prepared for if (more like when) we venture out there. Not that some extra rest will make a difference if we end up surrounded by Ursi...although, I've just had a thought.

Should we ask for Team RWBY's help...? They'd certainly give us the firepower and talent we need to survive...maybe long enough to find Nora...

No.

That's an awful idea. I can't drag any more friends into that damned forest.

I can't lose any more people the way we - the way I lost Nora.

Goodnight, Journal.