Disclaimer: I don't own Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt. PSG belongs to Gainax.
Notes: Special thanks to my awesome boyfriend, who's guidance was a MAJOR help for me when writing this.
"For fucks sakes, Stockers, are you gonna be like this for the entire trip home?"
"Yes."
Panty groaned, not even paying attention to the road as she nearly ran over several people, her car roaring through the streets of Daten City. She looked over to Stocking, her arms crossed, complete with a nasty scowl on her face. "So we didn't get the ghost this time, who gives a shit?"
"I GIVE A SHIT BECAUSE THAT GHOST WAS WORTH A LOT OF HEAVENS YOU MORON!" Stocking snapped, fixing her blue eyes in a death glare. "LIKE, WE MIGHT OF BEEN ABLE TO GO HOME IF WE SUCCEEDED IN KILLING IT, BUT NOOOOOOOO, YOU HAD TO GO OFF WITH SOME SKEEVY DUDE IN AN ALLEY WHILE I WAS GETTING MY ASS KICKED!"
"OH AND LIKE YOU'RE ANY BETTER!" Panty barked, narrowly avoiding a stop sign as her driving became more and more reckless. "WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU LAST WEEK WHEN I NEEDED HELP AGAINST THAT PISS GHOST!? OH WAIT, I REMEMBER, YOU WERE GORGING YOUR FAT ASS ON CAKE AT THAT STUPID HIPSTER CAFE YOU ALWAYS GO TO!"
"FIRST OF ALL IT'S A GOTH CAFE NOT A HIPSTER ONE YOU PHILISTINE! SECOND-"
"Hahahaha holy shit who says philistine!?" Panty cackled, "God you're such a pretentious bi-"
"PANTY LOOK OUT!"
The two angels screamed as they saw a large semi heading their way. Panty frantically turned the steering wheel, narrowly avoiding the massive truck as it grazed See-Through, scrapping a bit of it's pink paint off.
Pantry stopped her hummer by the side of the road to recuperate, her and Stocking both breathing heavily. They spent a minute in silence, looking up at the setting sun, soaked in it's golden glow. All of the previous stress and arguments melted away, and for a moment, things were almost...peaceful.
Then as usual, Panty had to fuck it up.
"This is all your fault you know." She said bluntly, not looking away from the sunset.
"MY FAULT!?" Stocking exclaimed, "You were the one who wasn't paying attention to the road!"
"Because you were distracting me with your mopey bullshit!"
"Well maybe if you ACTUALLY FUCKING HELPED ME I wouldn't have distracted you with my "mopey bullshit"!" Stocking said, her voice briefly taking on Panty's valley girl cadence in a mocking tone.
"Oh fuck off, I don't sound that ditzy, and seriously are we still on that? I thought we moved on,"
"IT HAPPENED A FUCKING HALF HOUR AGO IS YOUR MEMORY THAT SHORT!?"
"Whatever, I choose to live in the present."
"I ALMOST DIED!"
"Now you're just being melodramatic!" Panty scoffed. " You're a badass angel warrior chick, you've been through worse shit than some random ghost! Sides, you're still forgetting that you ignored me while I was getting clobbered last week!"
Stocking sighed deeply, running a hand through her pink and blue streaked hair. "Well, what I was trying to say earlier before we almost got flattened by a fucking truck... was that I did see your texts to help, I was just...distracted."
"By cake,"
"N-NO! It was also reall-"
"Don't bullshit me, Stocking, you put cake at a higher priority than me." Panty interrupted, her sky blue eyes staring straight at her.
Stocking returned the glare. "Well at least I wasn't diddling some asshole while completely ignoring my sisters screams for help nearby!"
Panty gritted her teeth, punching the steering wheel in frustration. "UGH! Fuck off! You always act like you're sooooooooooo fucking superior to me! You pretend like you're some sophisticated intellectual when you're nothing but a spoiled poser!"
"OH LIKE YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!" Stocking wanted to fucking skewer Panty with her swords right there. "Well newsflash! You're not the free spirited life of the party that you think you are! You're a scared little girl who fucks every random asshole she sees to try to fill the void in her life!"
"Thank you for the insight, Doctor Gothtits!" Panty replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Where did you get your degree at? ARMCHAIR UNIVERSITY!?" She got up in Stocking's face, pushing against it. "AT LEAST I KNOW I'M A SLUT, WHILE YOU CONTINUE WITH THIS HIGH AND MIGHTY BULLSHIT!"
"BEING AWARE OF HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE DOESN'T MAKE YOU ANY LESS PATHETIC!" Stocking screamed back, the sister's faces close together.
"FAT ASS!"
"SKANK!"
"TWAT!"
"WHITE TRASH!"
"SMUG BITCH!"
"WHORE!"
The duo paused, looking at one another with mutual loathing.
"God, I hate you so much sometimes," Panty growled,
"Likewise,"
The two were now in an intense staring contest, neither of them willing to back down. The sunset was long gone at this point, and the tension in the night air was thick.
A few minutes later, Stocking admitted defeat, breaking eye contact as she leaned against the back of her car seat.. "Fuck this, I'm done. I have know idea why I thought I'd get an apology out of you." She sighed, looking up at the night sky.
Panty snorted, "Whatever, the important thing is that I WON MOTHERFUCKER!." She grinned victoriously, pumping her fist in the air.
Stocking could only look at her older sister with pure contempt.
"Just shut up and drive."
"Hey if you want to continue being a bitter bitch about this, be my guest." Panty shrugged, starting the ignition. See-Through's engine roared to life and in an instant it drove off, tires screeching.
As they got back on the main road, Panty felt herself starting to relax, enjoying the cool breeze. Her thoughts drifted off to her plans for tonight, which not surprisingly, involved fucking as many dudes as possible.
'Ahhh yeah I'm gonna be wearing the sexiest fuckin' oufit posible and I'm gonna plow through so many guys and so many dicks in so little time it's gonna be fucking amazing and no stupid goth cunts are gonna ruin it with their cunty goth attitu-oh shit now I remember what I was gonna say to Stockers...'
"Hey you know the costs to repair that scratch on See-Through are coming out of your wallet right?"
"WHAT!?"
The sisters bickered for the rest of the ride home.