Shadow

AN: This takes place in an AU of season 1 in which Rhys finds out about Gwen and Owen and dumps her.

Tosh's POV

I wake up to find myself in a cold, dark room. I'm not sure what happened. All I know is that I was with the team on a Weevil catch, and we stopped at a pizza place after. I had to go to the bathroom, and I remember going in. And just as I came out of the stall, someone injected me with something and I blacked out. And then I woke up here.

I decide that I might as well figure out what's going on, at least as best as I can. It's dark, but I can still see the telltale signs of an active camera and microphone. Okay, so I'm being recorded, I think, but why? I check my pocket for my comm, and it's there, but-

"-Don't even bother," I hear a male voice through a speaker. "The signal's-"

"-Been blocked. I'm aware. Question is, are you kidnapping me for a ransom, or is it a trap, what?"

"Oh, you ask too many questions," the man says coldly, cruelly. "I'm afraid I'll have to put a stop to that." Two men walk in and handcuff me, chaining me to the wall, and put a gag on me. They've given me about two feet of chain. Bit of a luxury, I think, and then he says, "Why don't you just…. chill out?" And suddenly I'm drenched in freezing cold water. A big red countdown clock lights up on the wall, counting down from ten minutes. "Every ten minutes," the man explains. "Every ten minutes, you get dunked. I'd say you have twenty-four hours before you die of hypothermia." He laughs evilly. "Say goodbye to your team, Toshiko Sato… Say goodbye to Gwen, and Jack, and Ianto… and Owen…

Owen. I'm never going to see him again, I think, and that's enough to break my spirit, even though I'm mad because of the whole Gwen thing.

"I love you, Owen," I whisper, and apparently, it's been ten minutes, because my words are punctuated with another dose of freezing water.

Owen's POV

Tosh is gone. Someone's taken her, some horrible doucheface that doesn't know who he's just fucked with, I swear I'm going to kill him, there's no damn way-

"Owen. Pacing around and muttering under your breath isn't going to help us find her."

"SHUT UP!" I shout. I instantly regret it, but fuck it, I'm livid, my Tosh is gone and-

"Owen, you need to calm down." I feel Gwen's hand in mine. It's a horrible reminder of our stupid fling, neither of us had feelings for the other, it was just… I don't even know. "We're all angry, and nobody's going to argue with the fact that you're the angriest. And you have every right to be; God knows that if-I couldn't imagine…" She trails off. I want to finish her sentence, to reveal her secret, but I don't. She's right, I guess.

"Okay," I mutter. "How the hell are we going to find her."

"This might help," Ianto interjects from the computer. We crowd around the screen to see a video message sent to us via email. He opens the file and the video plays. And the sight's enough to break me.

She's chained to the wall, gagged, soaking wet and clearly freezing cold. A bucket of ice water dumps on her head and a big red countdown clock resets at ten minutes.

A man's face appears on the screen. Jack gasps. "No… oh, no, it can't be…"

"Hello again, Captain Jack Harkness," the man on the screen says. "Here's the deal: Give up Torchwood, I let her go. If you don't, I still let her go, but I take someone else. And I think you know who's next on my list." The video ends.

"Who's he?" Gwen asks nervously.

Jack sighs. "His name is Shadow," he explains. "He and I were friends a long time back, as Time Agents-long story. I was with the Agency, and one day I woke up and realized that they had stolen two years of my memories. I'm pretty sure that Shadow was behind it. Anyway, now he's found me, and he wants control of Torchwood… but why?"

"But how does he know you're with Torchwood?"

"Gwen, does it matter?" Ianto looks right at her. "He wants control of Torchwood, he's torturing Tosh, and you're next. Does it really matter how he knows about us?" Gwen looks at him in shock. "You heard me. Not me. You."

She looks at Jack, who has tears in his eyes.

"OKAY!" I shout, hopefully alleviating inevitable awkwardness, and, you know, getting these idiots back on topic. "Okay, how do we find this Shadow character. I'm pretty sure we all agree that losing Tosh, Gwen, and/or Torchwood itself are not feasible options. What now?"

Ianto turns back to the computer and begins typing in commands at Tosh-level speed. "Shadow doesn't seem to know everything - he hadn't encrypted the email. And my guess is that it'll lead right to him, because what would he gain from sending us on a wild goose chase other than more time to kill Tosh, whom he wants as a bargaining chip?" We all nod at our logic as he continues to type in commands. "Okay… Tosh is administrator, she made the password… and if I know her…" He types in four letters and the screen instantly clears. "Owen."

"What?"

"Owen. The password was Owen. Ten quid that-"

"No bets now, if you don't mind," Jack interrupts, guessing what's coming next. "Ianto, do you have an address?"

Ianto nods, scribbling it down. "Good thing we have ATMOS; I have no idea where this place is."

"I still have weird feelings about ATMOS, but whatever." Jack grins. "Let's go save Tosh."

We drive at typical Torchwood "what do you mean, there's a speed limit?" miles per hour to the abandoned garage where Tosh is apparently being kept. "Alright, kids, be ready to kill if necessary," Jack instructs. "Primary objective to get Tosh out of here and to not let anyone get hurt, killed, or kidnapped."

"Aye-aye, Captain," I nod, the others saying similar. We move silently through the garage, pointing guns and flashlights, and then Gwen's flashlight falls on a person huddled on the ground and chained to the wall.

"Found her," she murmurs, and we run as fast as we possibly can towards her, relieved and also scared.

I kneel down next to her and rip her gag off. "I've got you," I say, hugging her. She begins sobbing. "Shhh, I've got you. I'm here, Tosh, I've got you." Meanwhile, Jack's unlocked her handcuffs and Ianto's ready with the thickest towel the world's ever seen. I wrap her in the towel and scoop her up, running like there's fire behind me back to the car, followed by the others and a couple of gunshots.

Tosh's POV

They've found me, oh my God, they've found me! I thought I'd never see them again but here they are, and Owen's carrying me… I relax into his arms, terrified still but feeling safe as well.

"I've got you," Owen says again. "I've got you, Tosh, you're safe, you're going to be okay."

"Owen, it was so cold," I sob. "It was so cold, the water, and there was ice, and it hit me in the head and it hurt so much and the man kept saying awful, nasty things, and that I'd never see you guys again, and he kept showing me these pictures of all of you, especially you…"

"Shhhh," he murmurs again. "It's over, Tosh, it's all over, you're safe now. I'm here, and you're safe." He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. My heart races.

I'm not sure what happens over the course of the next like half an hour; it's all a bit of a blur. All I know is that now I'm dry and in bed and Owen's got me hooked up to machines and monitors out the wazoo. He's very business and doctor-y as he bustles around, but I catch a glimpse of his eyes, and they seem caring, maybe even loving. Maybe he loves me… Could he? I say a silent prayer that he does, and then I pass out.

Owen's POV

I see Tosh's eyes close and I instantly worry. She's hypothermic; she can't be sleeping. "Tosh, wake up," I say softly, shaking her shoulder. She doesn't wake. "Tosh, wake up," I say again. Nothing. She's still alive, but only barely, her heart rate slow, her blood pressure low, her temperature in the dangerous range. I think as hard as I can and I can think of nothing I can do to help her. I want to hit myself over the head. I'm a doctor! This is what I'm trained to do! And yet nothing comes to mind.

"Please wake up, Tosh," I beg, tears starting to fall. "I love you so much and I don't want to lose you, please just wake up…" I kneel down next to her and bury my head in her chest. "Please, Tosh," I sob. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even love Gwen, I love you and I never ever want to be with anyone, I swear, just please stay with me, Tosh, please don't leave me…" I'm incoherent but I don't give a shit. The most beautiful and brilliant woman on the planet is dying and there's nothing I can do. I never got to tell her I love her-

"Why don't we try putting her in a warm bath?" I turn to see Gwen in the doorway. "I don't know, maybe it can warm her up and she'll wake up…"

I think for a few minutes. "Either it'll save her life or it'll screw up her heart rate and kill her… It's still worth a try." I smile. "I swear, if this works, I will do whatever it takes to get you and Jack together."

"That'll be much appreciated." Jack comes in from behind Gwen. "But first let's save Tosh's life."

I scoop her up and carry her to the bathroom, Gwen just behind me. She turns on the water and we undress her. I want to touch her but I don't, knowing that she'll be embarrassed enough by knowing I saw her naked. I still can't help but think she's beautiful. Anyway, we gently lower her into the tub, silently praying.

Nothing happens for a few moments. But then her eyes flutter open.

"Oh my God," I whisper. "Oh my God…" And I pull her out of the tub and wrap her in a towel and sweep her into my arms. "I thought I'd lost you," I say, and I can't help but kiss her forehead. "Oh my God, I love you, I thought I'd lost you…" I start crying again and cradle her against my chest.

"You love me?" she asks, looking up at me with that face that I fall for every time, those gorgeous dark eyes that are now full of tears. "Owen, you love me?"

"Yes," I reply emphatically. "Yes, I love you, I love you so much, and I'm so, so sorry about the whole Gwen thing, I don't want to be with anyone but you, I love you so, so much…" I break down sobbing into her hair. "Don't leave me, Tosh, I love you so much, I know you're mad at me but please stay with me, I just got a taste of what life would be without you and I can't bear it, please don't leave me, I love you, I love you, Tosh, I don't ever want to lose you, just please for the love of God give me one more chance…" I hold her as tight as I can, afraid that it'll end soon and I'll never get to hold her again.

She reaches up and turns my head so we're looking at each other, and she says the most beautiful and perfect and amazing thing I could ever hear: "I forgive you."

"You do?" I ask shakily.

"Of course I do," she says softly, and she smiles. "Of course I do, and I love you, and I'll never leave you." She pulls her towel tighter around her and snuggles closer to me. "You did just save my life… Although I notice that that involved taking off my clothes." She rolls her eyes. "Figures."

"For the record, that was not my idea," I declare, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"It was mine," Gwen interjects, backing me up. "And I promise he behaved himself."

"Good," Tosh grins. "Now if you wouldn't mind going, so I can change?"

"Yeah, come on, Owen." Gwen grabs my wrist and tries to lead me out of the room, but I sort of linger there. "Owen. You do not get to see her naked. Come on." But I don't really care about that. I'm lingering because I'm thinking about the fact that as soon as she's dressed, I'm going to kiss her senseless and she's going to kiss back.

Tosh's POV

I have to keep myself from squealing in excitement. Owen loves me! All this time, I've loved him and hoped that he'd love me back, and he does… This may have been the most terrifying day of my life, but it's also the best.

As I change, I think about his goofiness, the thing I love most about him. He's an idiot but all guys are. Besides, it's sort of relaxing, being around someone so gloriously stupid. I don't need to try to be smart around him; he doesn't really care. I can just relax and have fun…

A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. "Tosh? You almost done in there?" His voice is so excited and hopeful, almost childlike and very… Owen.

"Yeah," I say, and I walk out the door where he's waiting and he throws his arms around me and kisses me. I remember when I saw him kissing Gwen; this is a thousand times more passionate. But it's not lustful, despite it being Owen; it's loving and full of the longing not to have but to hold, the joy of something less - no, more - than sexual pleasure-"

"-Tosh, stop thinking so hard," Owen teases. "You're the smartest human being I've ever met, and I'm the stupidest you've ever met, and I am kissing you. So stop."

His Owenly logic - or rather, lack thereof - is enough to convince me. I kiss him right back and forget everything.

Three hours later - Ianto's POV

I walk out of the archive and to Gwen, who's sitting at her desk. "Hey," I say quietly. "Sorry for earlier, getting mad and everything."

She turns to me. "Aren't you mad, though? Jealous, or something?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm not. I knew all along… My relationship with Jack is or was as meaningful as yours with Owen. Consolation. A placeholder."

"Doesn't that hurt, though? Knowing that you're only a placeholder or consolation or whatever?"

"Not if you don't really love the person you're consoling. Did it hurt when you were with Owen?"

"Yes, but only because of Rhys… Okay, I suppose that that makes sense. But it really did hurt when Rhys found out and left me…" I raise an eyebrow. "Okay, fine, it gave me freedom also…"

"Freedom to go after Jack?" I look at her expectantly.

"Freedom to go after Jack," she sighs. "But he had you, I thought then."

"And now that I'm as out of the picture as Rhys and Owen? Going to try?"

"You don't need to." We turn to see Jack, coming down the stairs. "You two talk loudly," he remarks. "Also, anyone notice that it took you girls' lives threatened to get our relationship issues straight? Thank you, Shadow."

"Thank you, Shadow," Gwen agrees, and she gets up and walks to Jack's side. He wraps an arm around her and kisses her hair.

"Thank you, Shadow," Owen says from the sofa, rather quietly so as not to wake Tosh, who is sleeping with her head in his lap, exhausted from the crazy events of the day. He presses a soft kiss to her forehead, and her eyes open.

"Why'd you wake me up?" she asks sleepily. "I was having such a nice dream…"

"I'm sorry, my love," he coos, playing with a bit of her hair. I have no choice but to smile. He's just too goddamn cute.

"I like it when you call me that," she mumbles, and then she falls asleep again.

"Okay," Owen whispers with a soft smile.

"Can I call you that?" Jack asks Gwen hopefully.

"Only if I can too," she says somewhat coyly.

"Done." He gives her his trademarked cheeky smile, and then he leads her to the lift. "See you three tomorrow," he says, and he and Gwen leave together.

"Bye, Jack," I say softly, grinning slightly. As they leave, I feel like a burden is leaving with them, the burden of being Jack's "consolation," as I'd described it to Gwen, and now Jack and I can go back to being best friends. Did Jack ever have best friends after Shadow betrayed him? I wonder, or did that scar him for two hundred years? Well, it doesn't matter, anyway. He has us. He'll always have us. Especially now that some of the recent chaos has subsided.

Thank you, Shadow.