If there was one thing Kushina had learnt when it came to dealing with twelve year old boys, it was that compromise was futile. Especially if the boy in question was as overexcited, fast, and downright unpredictable as Naruto. In fact, on the morning of Naruto's academy graduation exam, Kushina skipped any pretense of bargaining with the kid, and simply body flickered behind him to catch him mid-jump, swing him into the nearest chair, and demand that he sit still for one minute while he finished his breakfast.

"Honestly, Naruto," she sighed fondly, ruffling his hair, "you should take a leaf out of Sasuke's book and learn to be a bit composed every now and then."

The Uchiha in question merely smirked at this, shooting an amused glance at Naruto from across the table when he thought Kushina wasn't watching. Outwardly composed and unperturbed as always, Sasuke had received the announcement of his imminent graduation exam without batting an eyelid - a reaction which stood in stark contrast to Naruto's. The day they had both been announced as eligible candidates for the exam, Naruto had let out a crow of delight and dragged Sasuke halfway across town to Ichiraku's to celebrate, according to Sasuke. They had been home so late that day that by the time they stepped back over her threshold, Kushina had been about ready to kill them herself.

"Ne, Kaasan, can we have ramen for dinner tonight after I blitz the exam?" Naruto asked excitedly, twisting around in his chair to blink hopeful blue eyes up at his mother.

"Oi, dobe, we're not getting ramen again." Sasuke spoke up bluntly. "It's our turn to cook dinner tonight."

Naruto pouted for a moment, but at the sight of Sasuke rolling his eyes he quickly dropped the subject, choosing instead to launch into a discussion with Sasuke about whether he really needed to wear those arm guards all the time. Kushina let their argumentative banter fade into the background, absentmindedly moving to stand by the kitchen window, gazing out into the back garden. The blonde barely seemed to notice, so wrapped up was he in insisting that Sasuke couldn't possibly be taken seriously as a shinobi if he was wearing 'those weird glove things'. Kushina kindly neglected to remind Naruto of his own taste in clothes, who would surely be wearing clashing shades of orange that day if Sasuke hadn't hidden all of his jumpsuits during an argument the previous month. Sure, she knew exactly where he'd hidden them, but that wasn't the point - if Sasuke hadn't gotten rid of those things, she would have had to herself sooner or later.

If Kushina was honest with herself, Sasuke was an absolute godsend sometimes. She hadn't expected that the short tempered Uchiha would be so patient with Naruto (despite clearly finding him somewhat exasperating at times), but since he'd moved in with them she had already noticed a significant difference in Naruto's attitude towards helping around the house. From the moment Sasuke had set foot in the Uzumaki residence, even as a little snip of an eight year old, he had insisted on having chores. It hadn't taken long for him to convince Naruto, mostly through subtle psychological manipulation and an endless supply of underhanded scathing comments ("not that anyone could expect a dobe like you to do chores"), that he should do the same.

Though he was decidedly reserved a lot of the time, Kushina really couldn't complain about Sasuke's attitude. Yes, he could be a brat - but Kami, so could her own son. Sasuke definitely had his darker moments - days when he seemed disconnected from the world around him, and moments of temper where he left the house and came back hours later, sweaty from training alone - but he had a good heart, and most importantly, he had the kind of friendship with Naruto that most people wouldn't come across in their entire lifetime.

They were good for one another, Kushina knew. Sasuke kept Naruto grounded on what was happening around him, and had a noticeably calming effect on the kid; Naruto went out of his way to pull Sasuke out of his bouts of guilt and depression with a determination nothing short of bull-headedness. When Naruto was struggling to remain unshaken by the ignorant comments and stares of many of the other villagers, Sasuke provided a welcome distraction to him (even if that was in the form of dragging him off to train by his hair). When Sasuke tried to isolate himself for more than a few hours, Naruto would act as if he had no idea that Sasuke wanted to be left alone, and would find some way to bring him back to reality (even if that was in the form of picking a stupid fight just so they could punch each other until they both felt better. Kushina didn't fully understand their logic, but she wasn't one to comment).

"Teme! I do not have a mole there!" Naruto's outraged shout broke Kushina from her reverie. She glanced back at the table just in time to see Naruto launch himself across the table, quickly drawing Sasuke into a scuffle. It was almost comical, really, the way the Uchiha rolled his eyes as if he was above all this nonsense, while still getting unnecessarily engaged in the fight.

Another morning, Kushina might have left them to their fight while she cleaned up the kitchen or took the opportunity to have breakfast herself. Today, however, she gave a long-suffering sigh and strolled around the table to pull the two boys apart by the collars of their respective shirts.

"Get to school, you two." she admonished them.

After several minutes of rushing around on Naruto's part, and several long-suffering sighs from Sasuke, the two boys headed out the door and began to make their way into the village, towards the academy.

The Uzumaki residence lay on the outskirts of Konoha, in a predominantly civilian district. This far from the shinobi heart of the village, Kushina was rarely ever disturbed at home. Even the houses on their street were spaced apart, allowing for the rather large back garden which doubled as a training ground for the boys and an escape for Kushina on the mornings where even her own house made her feel a little claustrophobic.

After the Kyuubi attack, the Sandaime had promised Kushina that she would never want for anything again - that the village was indebted to both her and her late husband, and she could name almost anything, and as long as it was in accordance with his protection of the village, he would do his best to grant it.

Kushina had held on to that promise for eight years without asking for a thing. She'd sold her and Minato's apartment, unable to live there anymore, and had bought a new house for her and Naruto as far from the village centre as she could find. For the first few years after the attack, Kushina had been entirely content to spend her days with little Naruto, watching the sweet, blonde haired boy grow up. Her only visits had been from the Sandaime himself, on the rare occasions that he left the tower, Kakashi, when he had time between missions (though he'd point blank refused to spend time with Naruto once the kid was old enough to speak), and Mikoto, her gentle Uchiha friend. When Naruto had turned six, she had agreed to let him enroll in the academy, a fact which had sent the blonde into fits of joy. There, his friendship with Sasuke had progressed from weekly playdates to a genuine, albeit grudging, friendship. To that end, Sasuke and Naruto had grown up together for almost their whole lives.

When Mikoto's eldest, Itachi, had put an end to her best friend's life, Kushina had pulled herself from her self-imposed solitude for the first time in eight years. She'd marched into the village, ignoring the protests of the Sandaime's office chuunin, and walked straight into his office, demanding that he make good on his promise to her and let her adopt and raise the only remaining Uchiha. To her surprise, the Sandaime hadn't protested at all. He'd nodded sagely, agreed to take care of any necessary paperwork, and within an hour she was the sole guardian of Mikoto's youngest son.

Since then, she'd raised Sasuke like her own. Since the raven-haired boy had become her charge, Kushina had also begun to leave the house more, though she still wasn't taking missions.

In the silence after the boys had left the house, Kushina set to clearing the table.

"You can come inside now." she called absently, glancing towards the slightly ajar kitchen window. A moment later, Kakashi appeared behind her, for once not holding one of his Icha Icha novels. Kushina turned to him with a smile, balancing the plates from breakfast in her arms. Without a word, Kakashi took them from her, ignoring her half-hearted protests as he made his way to the sink and set them down amongst the others.

"You look well." the red haired woman commented. "Would you like tea?"

"Ah, I really can't refuse your tea, Kushina-senpai." Kakashi agreed, taking a seat at the table. Kushina rolled her eyes.

"I swear, Kakashi-kun, next time you call me 'senpai' I'll stop offering tea altogether." she scolded. The copy nin at least had the foresight to look a little sheepish.

"Ah, force of habit." he chuckled. "How have you been?"

While the kettle boiled, she took a seat beside Kakashi.

"Well, thank you. And you?" she asked, not expecting a real answer. As usual, Kakashi merely shrugged.

The two sat in comfortable silence for all of twenty minutes, interspersed with the occasional pleasant chatter. Kakashi's visits were more frequent these days, since he'd left ANBU, but he still refused to come over when Naruto and Sasuke were around. Kushina couldn't blame him, even if she had wanted to. She'd seen the momentary flash of pain in his eyes when Naruto first spoke in front of him, already beginning to look so much like Minato. She didn't need him to explain himself - she knew it was just too much, too soon, for him. Which was why it was totally surprising to her when he said, abruptly:

"I think it's time I met Naruto."

Kushina choked a little on her tea.

"Oh?" she asked weakly. Kakashi nodded seriously.

"I'd like to meet him soon, if that's alright with you." he said again.

"Of - of course, Kakashi-kun. I'm sure he'd love to meet you, ya know." It was rare that Kushina got flustered these days, but when she did, she automatically slipped back into the careless speech which Minato had used to tease her so fondly about. Kakashi didn't say any more on the topic, but when he left a few minutes later, she could tell that he was less weighed down than when he'd first climbed through her window.

Sasuke usually didn't have a hard time looking bored; in fact, looking as if he couldn't care less what was going on around him was one of the quickest and most effective ways to annoy Naruto, knowledge he was glad for. Not that he cared what the dobe thought, of course, he would reassure himself often, it was just that it was good to know as much about others' weaknesses as possible.

Either way, maintaining his trademark facade of deep boredom was something which Sasuke didn't usually struggle with. Today, however, he was actually having to concentrate on keeping that mask up - especially as the tension in the room built, everyone staring at Naruto as he struggled through his shinobi aptitude test.

As a personal rule, Sasuke didn't like to worry about insignificant things. The way he saw it, he had his goals, he had the things he cared about (and Naruto was definitely not one of them. Not at all.), and he had his ideas on what mattered. If someone had asked him a couple of years ago whether Naruto passing his graduation test was one of the few things that mattered to him, he probably would have laughed at them. Even that very morning, he'd been much more focussed on his own test than Naruto's, hadn't given the blonde's test much thought at all, in fact.

Now, though, as his eyes wandered against his will to rest on Naruto's face, easily picking up the frustration in the set of his eyebrows and the subtle trembling of the blonde's hands, Sasuke couldn't help but bite back a tinge of concern. After all, Sasuke himself had passed the test with flying colours, as he knew he would, and whether or not Naruto passed really wouldn't affect his future as a shinobi at all. And yet - and yet - he wanted his friend to succeed.

The Uchiha met the Uzumaki's eyes at the same moment that Naruto glanced up at him, eyes narrowed in irritation. Sasuke didn't say a word, but he didn't have to. He merely gave the blonde the smallest of nods, the only reassurance he could offer. Naruto's eyes widened in surprise, and then he grinned.

From her position on the far wall, Hyuuga Hinata watched the exchange with a building sense of curiosity. She tried to be inconspicuous about it, but she really couldn't help but watch the two boys sometimes. At first, it had been Naruto. Since he'd... well, since she'd first met him, she had been fascinated by his warmth and the light which seemed to beam out of him at all times. To her, he represented all the things she wanted to grow to be - confident, and warm, and happy. And he was just so different to everyone at the Hyuuga compound. He didn't walk and talk and glare with the same cold detachment which she had grown so used to growing up; it was a strange change to her, and it only made her want to befriend the golden haired boy more.

With Sasuke, it was out of a sense of wonder and curiosity that she watched his interactions with Naruto. The Uchiha had always been completely reserved for as long as she had known him, except for when he was around Naruto. If she was honest with herself, Hinata was a tiny bit jealous. Not of Sasuke exactly, just of the fact that Naruto seemed to notice him and not her. It hadn't been until she had realised just what a friend could do for someone that she'd realised she was actually incredibly lonely. Now that the thought was there, however, she couldn't un-think it.

The test continued disastrously. Naruto was acceptable at kunai and shuriken throwing, something Sasuke had helped him with over the past year, and his basic taijutsu was better than it had been in the past. Ninjutsu, however, even something as basic as a simple clone, was something which Naruto just couldn't seem to get a grip on. Sasuke couldn't possibly explain why the blonde was so bad at ninjutsu, but his chakra control seemed to be the problem. After the final test, in which the remaining three students were ordered to perform a henge, Naruto slumped in utter defeat. His henge had been the worst in the class, and even though his sense of optimism was usually unshakeable, he knew he hadn't passed the test. Iruka-sensei didn't even need to announce it; he shook his head in disappointment, and the sinking feeling in Naruto's gut set in.

"I'll catch up with you at home later, teme." he mumbled to Sasuke as he left the examination hall, head ducked down.

For a moment, Sasuke considered following him. He discarded the idea, however, when he noticed one of their other sensei, Mizuki, following him out. Perhaps the man would talk to him, he reasoned.

Sasuke was starting to really regret that decision by the time night fell. Though Kushina was doing her best to hide her worry, he could tell by the pacing and the way she kept looking towards the door that she was getting anxious.

"And you're sure he said he'd meet you at home?" Kushina asked for the fourth time. Sasuke nodded.

"I'm sure he's fine." he stated, blatantly ignoring the niggling thought that he might not be. "It seemed as if he just wanted to be alone."

His red-haired guardian nodded distractedly.

"I'm sure you're right." she agreed.

The minutes ticked by at a painstakingly slow rate. When the front door finally swung open to reveal a wide-eyed Naruto holding up a barely conscious Iruka-sensei, even the unshakeable Uchiha was mildly surprised.

"For the love of Kami! What happened?" In a flash, Kushina was at Iruka's side, lifting him easily and carrying him to the kitchen table. "Sasuke, get me a towel." she ordered, her tone suddenly commanding and authoritative. Sasuke brought the woman a clean towel from the cupboard and followed Kushina's directions to spread it over the kitchen table before she laid Iruka-sensei face down on top of it. From what he could tell by the quick glance he got before Kushina kicked him out of the kitchen, Iruka seemed to be unconscious from blood loss, if the huge gash on his back was anything to go by.

"Out!" Kushina ordered, before softening her voice slightly. "He'll be fine, it looks worse than it is."

Nodding mutely, Sasuke backtracked to the front door, where Naruto was still standing, looking slightly shell-shocked.

"Come on, dobe." Sasuke said not unkindly, grabbing his friend's arm. Keeping a firm grip on the blonde's arm, Sasuke dragged him through the kitchen and into the part of the house where their bedrooms where situated. After a moment of deliberation, he pulled Naruto into his own room, and only then did he let go of his arm. There seemed to be some blood on Naruto, he realised, but he guessed it was mostly Iruka's.

"Sasuke."

"What?" he replied shortly, frowning as he glanced around the blonde's perpetually messy room.

"I passed."

"What?"

"I passed the exam."

Sasuke paused in his scanning of the room to stare at Naruto.

"How?"

"I made clones. Real clones! And I beat up Mizuki with them, and then Iruka-sensei gave me a forehead protector, and- well look!"

It was then that Sasuke noticed the brand new forehead protector which Naruto was clenching in his hand, so hard that the edges of the metal plate were digging into his palm.

"Hmm." was Sasuke's only reply, but he couldn't help the pleased note which entered his voice. He had little to no idea what his friend was talking about, but he figured he would find out details later.

"I found out some weird stuff, though." Naruto continued. This time, the blonde's voice was lower, more serious. "I found out why they all hate me."

Sasuke's gaze turned sharp.

"Why?"

"There's some kind of... I don't know. Mizuki said there's a demon, in here." he tapped his own stomach, eyes wide. "He said to ask kaasan about it. And then Iruka stopped him from killing me, and then I decided something."

Sasuke hadn't realised how close he and Naruto were standing to one another until Naruto gripped the front of his shirt, staring into his eyes with an intensity he had rarely seen in his friend.

"I'm going to become Hokage." he announced, eyes blazing. "And I'm going to make all of them acknowledge me, and think of me as more than just some demon."

Sasuke made a low noise in the back of his throat that could have meant many things.

"Hmm." he agreed. "Work hard, then."

Then he turned and left the room, but not before Naruto caught the tiny smile tugging at the corners of the Uchiha's mouth.

"This is quite literally the worst idea you two have ever had."

Kakashi purposely ignored the exasperated voice of Yuhi Kurenai, focussing instead on eyeing up his opponent.

"Are you listening to me? Kakashi, Gai, this is one step too far." From his slouched position against the tree beside Kurenai, Asuma gave a grunt of agreement.

"Kakashi. Gai. Oh, for the love of Kami - I refuse to be blamed for this once it backfires!" Kurenai warned, rolling her eyes in exasperation as she moved to lean against the same tree as Asuma. She was apparently unaware of the way her arm rested against his, judging by the nonchalance with which she leaned into him.

"Relax, Kurenai!" Gai called out cheerfully, shooting her a thumbs up. "I am confident that both Kakashi and I will survive this challenge!"

"Right, that makes me feel much better." Kurenai muttered, closing her eyes for patience. The problem with Kakashi and Gai's challenges, she had realised some time ago, wasn't that they were inherently dangerous or stupid - which they were, of course, but that wasn't really the issue - no, the problem was that they were so often too funny not to watch. And watching only encouraged them.

As Gai finished up his stretches, Kakashi began to mentally prepare himself for the gruelling task ahead. He figured he'd be able to get the hang of the axe much quicker than Gai, but there was always the fact that Gai could be very creative with new weapons. Especially huge, ridiculously heavy battle axes stolen (borrowed, really) from Anko's weapons holding. As Asuma had so astutely pointed out, if their fight didn't kill them, Anko's wrath certainly would.

"Ahem." The Sandaime's politely bemused cough interrupted Kakashi's battle preparations.

"Hokage-sama!" Immediately, the four jounin stood to attention, attempting to look as professional as possible whilst caught in various ridiculous positions. Hiruzen surveyed his elite jounin, electing to ignore the fact that two of them were cuddled up to one another against a tree, one of them was halfway through an impassioned war cry, and the other was eyeing up a presumably stolen battle axe as though it held the answers to the universe.

His jounin were weird.

"When you're not so busy, Kakashi, I have some things to discuss with you." the Sandaime supplied into the silence, pretending not to notice as Kurenai and his son shifted guiltily away from one another. "I'll see you in the Hokage tower."

That said, the old man left at a leisurely pace, leaving a confused and embarrassed silence behind him. Once she was sure their Hokage was far from earshot, Kurenai groaned in mortification.

"Why is it that he always finds us in situations like this?" she whispered accusingly, her voice not quite low enough that Kakashi couldn't hear. "I swear, Asuma, you'd better have explained to him that the last time was a misunderstanding..."

Before he could hear too much, Kakashi nudged Gai and began to walk away, leaving Kurenai to further scold Asuma. For once, his rival picked up on the social cue, and, hefting the massive axes onto his shoulders, followed his silver-haired friend.

'I'm assigning a jinchuuriki, an orphaned Uchiha, and a kunoichi with absolutely no survival instincts to your genin team' was unsurprisingly Kakashi's new least favourite thing to hear. Okay, so maybe the Sandaime hadn't put it quite like that, but he could paraphrase.

"Pardon?" he replied politely, stowing away his book to gaze at his Hokage, who was currently flanked by a tired looking Kushina.

"I believe they will make a strong team, especially with your guidance. Naruto in particular will need to learn how to deal with being a Jinchuuriki, and Sasuke has yet to activate his sharingan."

"And the other girl?" Kakashi wasn't entirely sure why he asked. After all, he already knew it was a terrible idea for him to take on this team, and showing interest would only encourage the idea.

"Sakura is a clever kunoichi, topping her class in terms of theory and knowledge. Physically, however, she lacks the motivation to attack an opponent, and needs training. I trust you can handle that."

Dammit, the old man was clever. By making it seem as if it was Kakashi's idea to take interest in the unmentioned student, he'd pretty well backed him into a corner.

"I accept." he agreed eventually, fingers itching to pull his book out again and pretend this wasn't happening to him.

"Well, it wasn't exactly a request, ya know." Kushina grumbled good-naturedly at him. He bit back an amused smile, opting instead to raise his hand in an unenthusiastic wave before using shunshin to vacate the premises.

He landed a street or so away, appearing rather suddenly next to an unsuspecting Anko. To be fair to himself, he hadn't expected to appear quite so close to her - he'd taken a wild guess at her chakra signature, really. He wasn't entirely sure that he deserved the wave of senbon she sent flying at him, and it was a little concerning that she didn't stop throwing them even after she'd ascertained that it was only him standing there, but he merely sidestepped the razor sharp needles and raised his hands in a placating gesture.

"I thought Gai had already returned the axes." he pointed out blithely, taking her reluctant ceasefire as a sign that he could fall into step beside her.

"What? Oh, right, that." Anko snapped, shooting him a glare. "You are so lucky they aren't damaged, Hatake. I'll have your head next time." she warned him. Kakashi suppressed a shudder. She could be great company when he was in need of a strong drink or seven, and he didn't find her personality as abrasive as some of the other jounin did, but Kami that woman could be terrifying.

"Ah... right. Fair enough." he agreed easily. A worrying thought hit him. "Wait, why did you throw the senbon if you weren't thinking about the axes?" There was an awkward pause.

"I'm having a bad day." Anko admitted grumpily. "I thought seeing you with sharp things sticking out of you might make me feel better, but I'd forgotten how damn fast you are."

Well, it did sound fairly reasonable to him.

"I'm being evicted." the purple haired woman said before he could ask. "Again. Landlords are so picky these days."

Again, Kakashi considered asking why she was being evicted, but decided against it. The story last time had been traumatic enough. Unfortunately, she beat him to it.

"Apparently, I signed a contract stating that I wouldn't set traps anywhere in the building to keep out potential enemies. Clearly safety isn't a priority to chuunin." Anko sniffed.

Kakashi very much doubted that that was the issue. Chuunin just had different standards of safety to the elite jounin, one of them being that they valued having the ability to move over the comfort of knowing that there were jounin level traps set at every doorway.

"Perhaps you should move to the jounin complex." Kakashi suggested carefully.

"Eh, it looks like I'll have to. Hey, maybe we'll be neighbours."

He wasn't entirely sure if Anko's enthusiasm was feigned or not, and he couldn't decide which option was scarier.

"Anyway," Kakashi hedged, already beginning to walk away, "I have to, uh." He couldn't think of a very good excuse, so Kakashi did what he always did during awkward social situations, and shunshined away for the second time that day.

"We're proud of you, Sakura, dear, we are." Kizashi began, looking nervously to his wife for guidance. "And we understand that you're going to be busier now, but really, uh-"

"What your father is trying to say, Sakura," Mebuki interjected sternly, "is that you cannot and will not let your chores fall to the side. You gave your father quite a fright, you know, finding your underwear in the bathroom. You know we expect you to wash your own clothes, and a man of your father's age really doesn't need shocks like that."

Sakura just stared disbelievingly at her parents, mostly wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole.

"I... okay. I'm going to be late for my team announcement." Sakura managed to get out, trying (and failing) to get the image of her dad brandishing her underwear at her as if personally affronted out of her head. "So I'm going to go, but I'll clean up when I get home."

Mebuki nodded, letting her face soften.

"Fine." she agreed, waving Sakura out the door. "We are proud that you graduated. Get to school."

It had honestly come as a surprise to her to find out that her daughter had graduated from the academy, small as she was. Their clan hadn't been active in the shinobi forces for generations - Kizashi himself had become a merchant instead of a shinobi, and she had married him without even knowing that there had been shinobi in his family generations previously. When Sakura had arrived home the previous day practically glowing with the news that she was going to be a kunoichi, Mebuki hadn't known how to react. She had honestly assumed that Sakura would grow out of the idea well before graduation and eventually take over the family business. Kizashi had been equally baffled, and once Sakura had gone to bed, worn out from the day's demands, they had sat up talking. Eventually, they'd agreed that they wouldn't try to stop the girl from becoming a kunoichi - after all, she had trained hard over the past four years. However, they were fairly sure that once she began to take real missions, and learned that the shinobi lifestyle wasn't as glamorous as it was cut out to be, she would eventually drop the idea and they could begin to train her as a merchant.

They'd already met her team leader, a cautiously aloof man who had at least seemed fairly competent, so they trusted that she'd be in safe hands for as long as she stuck with the idea. And, they'd reasoned, what could possibly go wrong for a genin?

Neither parent was altogether concerned that Sakura's stint as a kunoichi would last very long.

Author's Note (important please read):

Hey guys! This is a new concept that I've been wanting to write for a long time, which I may or may not turn into a long-term project depending on the response the first few chapters get. This story will not stick strictly to canon (obviously) - I want to examine the ways in which the Naruto universe could be different if a detail such as Kushina's death/survival was changed. There will be pairings, some cracky, some canon, and the story will progress quite quickly at some points, and will focus in and slow down on others. I would really, really like to know what you guys think! If I do decide to continue this, I'll want to do a decent job, so any suggestions, criticisms, reviews etc. are really appreciated.

Also, a quick warning that this story will probably get quite dark in places, and quite humorous in others. There will be some big changes to canon, a few tragedies, and hopefully a fair amount of smut later on. Thanks guys!