A/N: This took a very long time to write. I actually couldn't bring myself to finish this until I got this one PM, just around 21 hours ago from this pretty chill chap about when I'd update this.

And then I added around 1k, of pure and utter crack. Time for me to get back to my studies and procrastination!

Posted: 14 Dec 14

Edited: 15 Dec 14

They had arranged to meet up a week later, at Yamamoto's dad's sushi bar… and though Sena had thought to invite only the Deimon Devil Bats, it had somehow spiraled out from there.

Sweating nervously, Sena could see rather prominent football players from every team that they'd played against and with crowding the rather small space within the restaurant.

Shin-kun was there, as was Maruko-san, and Kisaragi. They were all sitting together quietly doing—something, while beside them, Taki and Suzuna and Mizumachi were causing a loud ruckus. Kisaragi was obviously annoyed by the noises, though Shin and Maruko seemed unaffected.

In fact, they seemed to be actively disregarding the three louder ones, nudging their empty mugs around and discussing something that was… about football plays?

Shin suddenly smashed his mug against Maruko's with a surprisingly passionate look in his eye, and by the revelation in Maruko's eyes, Sena was fairly sure that he was going to experience something along those lines the next time he was on the field with the White Knights or the Dinosaurs. (And wasn't that such a nice feeling?)

He turned his eye onto the next table, where Sakuraba and Takami were chatting with Akaba and Juri. They seemed to be fairly amiable, and rather decidedly not talking about potentially smashing Sena to bits on the field. They were being… friendly. And not football-oriented.

And wow, Sena actually found himself surprised by that: did they even have any interests outside of football? Sena knew that he himself didn't have much time to dedicate to other interests.

Close by to Akaba and Juri, Koutarou was trying to pick a fight with Musashi—who was as chill as he usually was, looking fairly bored by Koutarou's attempts to goad him into a match.

Sena sent a silent prayer for Musashi's patience. Koutarou, while a pretty cool guy, could be… voracious (was that the proper word to use?) at his worst.

Yamato, Karin-chan and Taka were already seated beside a rather awe-struck Ikkyu and Monta, the former three conversing rather idly about something or another, while Kid and Tetsuma were moving to join them.

Karin-chan sipped delicately at her tea, listening placidly to what Yamato was saying, saying something in response that Kid drawled something that made her cheeks light up a bright red.

Yamato seemed to laugh, but the evil grin that appeared on his face made Sena look away quickly—

And there, by the wall, Riku was looking angrily (up) at Kakei and his two 'disciples', who were all standing next to him, seemingly oblivious to Riku's anger at how tall they were. Instead, they were more concentrated on how Unsui was trying to pull Chuubou away from Gaou and Agon, who were having a stare-off of sorts.

And nearby the tense staring match, Jyuumonji, Togano, and Kuroki were all huddled around a table discussing something, and nearby then, Marco was looking rather devious as he eavesdropped on them.

Hell, even Panther was there for some reason, chatting one-sidedly to a tired-looking Yuki-san, and Clifford from the American team – for reasons that he didn't want to know – was picking a fight with Hiruma! Kurita was beside Hiruma as usual, and was already eating a lot of sushi with Komusubi-kun.

Yamamoto's father was cheerfully serving them dish after dish, chatting rather amiably with Kurita as they gorged on his (admittedly delicious looking) sushi.

Hopefully, Tsuna wouldn't be too mad that it wasn't just the Devil Bats that were there…

Sena sighed, turning mournful eyes towards the door. And also hopefully, he had enough money to pay for this… (He doubted it. Hopefully, some people would be nice enough to pay for their own meals…)

"Sena!"

His head snapped up when he heard Tsuna call out for him, and a relieved grin spread across his features, quickly moving to pull his cousin into a hug.

While he really was grateful that Tsuna was now here to save him from the rest of the football players behind him, it was also a tradition that the two cousins upheld every time they met.

It had first started as a reassurance that yes, they were together again, and they were still perfectly healthy and safe—especially with how they'd endured years of being bullied.

Thankfully, neither of them were subject to repeated and outright bullying. (At least, not to Sena's knowledge.)

But apparently, most people weren't used to the sight of two boys, closely related, to be so physically affectionate.

Sena could feel his back prickling with the stares of multiple people, and he stiffened up. He could also hear a dip in the murmurs behind him. Were they all watching Sena and his cousin embrace…?

"Who the fuck is that, pipsqueak?" Hiruma called out, making Sena stiffen up even more and he quickly pulled away from Tsuna to face Hiruma.

Beside him, Clifford looked extremely… well, devious, putting Sena further on edge, but he could also see that yes, everyone was watching him.

"T-this is my cousin, Sawada Tsunayoshi…" Sena introduced rather hesitantly, presenting his cousin to the group of men (and three women). "He wanted to meet all of you, so uh…" He trailed off nervously, watching as Hiruma's eyes flickered between the two.

For a moment, Hiruma looked surprised when he look at Tsuna's face—which surprised Sena, considering how tightly Hiruma guarded his expressions: he'd all but reinvented the poker face, after all.

Hiruma suddenly cackled, looking all too amused. "You don't know about your cousin's extracurricular activities, do you?" He asked Sena, resting the muzzle of his gun against his shoulder.

Tsuna stiffened up imperceptibly at the question and the sight of his gun, but Sena knew him too well to not notice. Sending his cousin a strange look, he shook his head.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Hiruma-senpai." Sena replied, turning to look rather reproachfully at his upperclassman. "And I think Tsuna-kun's more than capable enough to tell me if he wants to! Right, Tsuna?" He asked, looking at Tsuna for confirmation.

Tsuna merely smiled in response, looking rather nervous. Sena took that as an affirmation, turning to look at Hiruma rather defensively.

"I-I'm more worried about the fact that your senpai has a gun…" Tsuna whispered to Sena. Hiruma reminded him all too much of Reborn, who had strong-armed him into doing things with his own guns. Was this Hiruma-senpai doing the same to his cousin? He'd have to do something bad to Hiruma if that was the case: no one messed with his Famiglia, both blood-related or not…

Despite the meek persona he displayed to Sena, the fire lighting up in his eyes made it all too clear that Tsuna wouldn't be a pushover—even for Hiruma. He'd survived Reborn's training, after all, and not only the Varia, but the Millefiore too. Hiruma was nothing.

Hiruma's ears seemed to twitch, and Sena narrowed his eyes at the widening grin. Hiruma didn't comment on Sena's suspicion, looking amused at his obliviousness to what was occurring between Tsuna and him. Tsuna's attempts at a power play were all too funny because of how soft his features were, but nevertheless, Hiruma stayed his distance.

No matter how soft Tsuna looked, he was still the (soon to be) Tenth head of the Vongola Famiglia, and that was a power that Hiruma wasn't going to awaken and anger. Rather, it would be more prudent for him to keep Tsuna on his side—at least, until he was sure that he could neutralise any possible threats from his part.

"You don't need to worry about any fucking gun," Hiruma stated, much to the shock of Kurita, who choked on a sushi. (Hiruma being nice? What was the world coming to?!) "Why don't you introduce your cousin for us all, fucking pipsqueak?"

Though Hiruma had phrased it like one, it wasn't a suggestion. The imperative was thinly, if at all, veiled.

Sena glanced nervously at Hiruma, before clearing his throat rather timidly in an attempt to silence the noise and capture everyone's attention.

Unsurprisingly, there was no response, making Hiruma roll his eyes.

The blond aimed his gun at the ceiling, and he fired a shot, making Sena cry out in alarm. This was Yamamoto-kun's store! He couldn't just damage it at his own whim! And didn't he say that he didn't have to worry about "any fucking gun"?!

However, he hadn't realised that it was only a blank, and that his yelp had caused everyone's eyes to rivet onto Sena. The realisation made him flinch, especially when he noticed the pressure of everyone's stares. Especially because of the rather amused grin on Juri's face at his (decidedly unfeminine, thank you very much) yelp.

Flushing heavily at the questioning looks on everyone's faces, he repressed the urge to hide behind Tsuna.

Even if he hadn't expected this gathering to explode in numbers at an exponential rate, he had to deal with it. If only because he knew Hiruma's gun was pointed at him right at that very moment.

"T-this is my cousin, Sawada Tsuna-kun… he wanted to meet the Devil Bats, but uh… I'm glad that everyone else came to meet him too," Sena mumbled in self-consciousness.

Tsuna stepped forward, a look of slight nervousness on his face as everyone's eyes moved from Sena onto his cousin.

"It's nice to meet everyone! Thanks for taking care of my cousin," he said in greeting, his words confident despite the wariness in his stance.

Sena couldn't help but feel a flash of pride going through him at the sight of his cousin's obvious change.

Just last year, Tsuna wouldn't have been able to introduce himself with such self-confidence. But then again, neither could Sena… maybe the two of them really had changed.

There was a general mumble throughout the crowd, and one by one, they came up to introduce themselves to Tsuna, much to Sena's relief. Sure, quite a few of them were intimidating with their height (Kakei) or build (Shin), and even Sena couldn't believe that he had become friends with them (Akaba). And then there were the people who he was still utterly terrified of, who, for some reason that he couldn't comprehend, was actually being his 'charming' self (Agon).

Everything seemed to be going really well, all things considering!

But really, Sena should've realised that when things went smoothly and good in his life… Well, what goes up must come down, as Mamori-nee-chan would say.

While Sena was explaining to Tsuna that yes, tight end was a thing in American football, and no, it was not anything suspicious so could you stop grinning like that whenever you look at Taki-kun, the man currently discussed suddenly grabbed everyone's attention.

"Mafia game? That sounds pretty fun!" Taki all but yelled from his corner of the room, striking a rather admirable and impressive pose in front of an all-too-familiar child.

(No, it really was admirable—how does one get their leg around their own neck like that?!)

"It is pretty fun… You know how to play Russian Roulette? I have a gun ready right here." Reborn chirped, his innocent and childish voice sounding oddly demonic in its purity. "You could try it out—and it's heavy, so you might want to watch out."

At the sound of sudden laughing erupting from a certain, google-wearing teenager, Tsuna and Sena paled at the same time. But for different reasons.

Sena was worried that Taki might infect the poor, overly precocious kid with his idiocy, or hurt someone with the gun—but Tsuna was much more worried than that. From what he'd been able to see, Taki didn't have any regrets.

And the first time a Dying Will Bullet was used, it would kill those who didn't have any regrets.

Tsuna was about to intercept and prevent Reborn from doing something stupid (it had to be the onset of puberty!) when another voice rang out.

"That gun? Looks like you got it off a rack from the secondhand shop for 50 fucking yen. Might as well use this." Hiruma triumphantly set down a handgun in front of Taki—who actually picked it up.

Sena let out a strangled sound, now very worried. Quickly rushing over to grab the gun before Taki could actually fire it, he somehow managed to trip over and land face first into Maruko's own face.

Oh.

God.

His face burning a bright red, he scrambled away from the astonished girl. Any thought related to the gun was forgotten as he tried to scramble for apologies, flinching back when he saw Marco's blank expression from over Maruko's shoulder.

"I- I'm sorry!" Sena squeaked out over and over again, bowing repeatedly towards Maruko—and quickly running away to hide behind Tsuna. Who seemed to be torn between outright laughing, looking stern, and being utterly confused.

Oh god.

Why couldn't it have been C-Chrome-chan sitting there?

Oblivious to what was happening on the other side of Tsuna's surprisingly broad (and, most importantly, safe) barrier of a body, Sena sank into all different shades of red due to mortification of both his action and the direction his thoughts were heading.

Tsuna, however, was more than aware of what was happening. Pinning Reborn with a sharp look, making his former tutor grin unabashedly, pocketing the gun, he then narrowed his eyes on Hiruma. The three of them ignored the burst of distracted, half-worried and half-amused whispers that erupted around them.

The blond in question was completely unrepentant, not even making a move to remove the gun from Taki—who was now looking down into the barrel of the gun with one eye closed and his tongue between his teeth.

There was a sharp intake of breath throughout the room.

Everyone was silent, eyes flickering between the drama between Sena and Maruko, and the gun in Taki's hand. Well, everyone apart from Unsui, who had a hand clapped over Agon's mouth with a wince on his face; his twin was probably biting down on the fleshy part of his hand.

No one made a move to remove the gun from Taki, not when there was the high risk of Taki blowing his eyeball out of his own skull.

Tsuna really had to wonder what exactly possessed this idiot to do such a stupid act.

"It is actually loaded!" Taki exclaimed finally, pushing it away from him with a sudden jerk of his hand, much to the relief of Tsuna. Until he realised what he had done next—making it fire because he hadn't removed his finger from the trigger.

Unsurprisingly, there was a very loud bang that resounded throughout the room.

Tsuna yelped instinctively, ducking at the sound of the bang thanks to the tugging at his Intuition. He made sure to drag Sena down with him ("W-wha-?!"), unwilling to chance having his cousin being hit by one of those damned Dying Will bullets. (Though he had to wonder - how had Hiruma gotten his hands on a Dying Will bullet?)

(Thank God for his intuition confirming that fact: if someone had actually gotten hit with a real bullet...)

Other members, however, weren't so lucky to have Tsuna's forewarning.

Reborn actually laughed as extremely masculine and hardened athletes screamed/yelped/wailed loudly in response to the gunshot. One very tall teenager in particular (Kakei, he recalled offhandedly) had managed to hit a very high pitch.

The whole scene, from the time when Reborn prepositioned Taki with a Mafia Game to the time Tsuna had dragged Sena down, lasted only twenty seconds.

Twenty seconds was all it took for complete and utter fucking Armageddon to occur.

Koutarou burst with all the Righteous Flames of Challenge, his clothes shredding to just his boxer briefs ("Oh god—it's neon pink football-print.") as he grabbed Musashi, pressing their faces right next to each other as he yelled out his challenge for all to hear.

Flames were burning on his forehead, and scraps of his clothing floated down around him like snow from the sky on a cold winter's day. Takami didn't seem to be particularly happy about having neon pink briefs being thrust into his face, and on closer inspection, neither did Juri or Sakuraba.

Mizumachi ripped his clothing off to copy Koutarou, and grabbed Kakei and yelled out his own challenge ("I'LL SHOW YOU HOW MUCH COOLER I AM THAN YOU, KAKEI-CHAN."), before jumping onto the table where Kurita and Komusubi were eating—scattering their food and having it land everywhere.

Including Akaba's guitar. And Shin's face. And onto everyone's hair and clothing and oh god, Sena was pretty sure that Kisaragi's entire body was covered in still-writing octopus legs and vinegar and if that wasn't a look of pure and utter disgust/rage, then Sena was a girl with a third boob.

Tsuna and Sena paled simultaneously. Anger, palpitating and almost a solid substance that permeated the air itself, suddenly welled up and burst out in an impressive show of pent up teenaged fury.

Let it be said that American footballers, all of whom had years of physical training and emotional trauma due to hardcore losses and matches, should not be faced off in a no-bars, no-rules brawl.

The two cousins looked at each other, in the eye of the storm beside a demonically grinning duo from Hell (damn you, Reborn and Hiruma!), with teary eyes.

"Why does this always happen to me?!" They both wailed.

It wasn't until a week later that either of the cousins realised that Hiruma and Reborn had taken the opportunity to swap training techniques and arrange for exchange sessions.

Sena rather appropriately appropriated very apt vernacular from a certain captain.

Fuck.

FIN

A/N: Can you tell when I just gave up because I lost my plot bunnies? This is the last installment of my cracktastic venture into the mashing of ES21 and KHR, two of my favourite manganime fandoms.

(But admittedly, one thing I seriously would like to see is Hibari or Chrome dating Sena. And them having to go through some kind of initiation trial à la American Football Style)

EDIT: I'm thinking of branching this out into a bunch of stupid one-shots. But I dunno.