Chapter 1 – The Storm Inside

The storm outside is almost as bad as the storm inside. Elsa is trying to cope with being Queen, getting to know her sister again, and embracing her powers. But then the safety of Arendelle is threatened, and Elsa is going to have to come up with some way to protect her country.

It was mid-winter in Arendelle.
There had been a snow storm raging for two days now, heavy winds howling around the castle, snow battering against the closed windows. The sky remained dark and grey, and telling day from night was challenging.

Anna had been inside for both days, agonizing over the weather, because Kristoff was still out there. He had left for the North Mountain before the storm had begun, and hadn't made it back yet. She had complete faith that he was safe, probably cozied up somewhere with Sven, singing cheesy duets. But until she saw him, safe and sound, she was going to worry.

She was also going to worry about Elsa.

The first day the storm began, the Snow Queen had paled slightly, sending uneasy glances out of the windows. She had paused, often, to stare at the sky and link her fingers together throughout the day. She had not come to supper that night, nor breakfast the next day.

Now, the sky was darkening and night was clearly coming on that second day. Anna tore herself away from her window, chewing worriedly on her bottom lip. If she couldn't see Kristoff, she could at least see Elsa.

Even though, in the few months following her coronation, Elsa had never once said 'go away' to a knock on the door, Anna still hesitated for a moment, hand raised. Then she swallowed, and rapped firmly on the door.

She wasn't sure if it was related or not, but the wind outside howled louder for a moment. Anna pressed her ear against the door, trying to hear if anything was happening inside. There was silence.

Anna knocked again, firmer this time, and called uncertainly, "Elsa? It's me. Are you in there?"

Silence again.

Anna put her hand on the door handle, and pushed it down slowly. She peered cautiously into Elsa's room. The curtains were open, the storm visible beyond the windows, and there was a small, Elsa-sized lump in the bed obviously snuggled the duvet.

Anna took a few more steps into the room. "Elsa? Are you awake?"

Why would she be asleep? The lack of an answer was a bit worrying, and Anna tiptoed around the bed to see Elsa. She could see a bit of forehead and platinum hair, but the rest of her sister was apparently scrunched beneath the covers.

Anna pulled the blanket down slightly, and Elsa nearly leapt out of her skin. The Queen jumped sideways, obviously surprised, blue eyes snapping open. Then she saw Anna, with one eyebrow cocked, clearly wondering what had her sister so jumpy.

Elsa took a few deep breaths.

"Hey," Anna said. "Did I wake you? I wondered where you were, since no one's seen you for a few days, and, well, I was a little bored, I mean, I can't go outside or anything and are you alright?"

Elsa was staring blankly, seemingly at nothing, and hadn't moved throughout Anna's whole mangled explanation.

"Elsa!" Anna snapped her fingers, finally catching her sister's attention.

Elsa looked up at her, eyes a bit wild and disorientated. "What?"

"Are you alright? You look a little . . . I don't know, spacey. Are you sick? Or still asleep?"

Elsa drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She rested her chin on her knees, and her eyes strayed towards the window again. The sky was growing blacker, and the wind and snow had not abated. She didn't answer.

Anna tapped her foot impatiently. "Elsa!"

Once again, Elsa started as though surprised, and dragged her gaze from the storm to her sister. "Anna?"

"I've been here nearly five minutes now, are you alright? Because you're acting like you're still asleep. And you look a little asleep. Also pale." Anna would have kept on going but Elsa finally interrupted her.

"I'm fine." She squirmed a little, as though trying to get comfortable.

Anna waited for the rest of the explanation.

Elsa did not provide one.

"I know you didn't eat supper, are you hungry? We could go and-"

"No."

Anna stopped talking. Elsa's voice had turned steely. Anna frowned slightly.

"I can't. Go. Anywhere." Elsa shifted again, clearly trying to move away from some sort of invisible discomfort.

Anna had a depressing sense of déjà vu. "What do you mean . . . You can go anywhere. Elsa, you don't have to stay here, we can-"

"No," slightly more definitive this time, and Elsa turned icy eyes to Anna. "Don't push this, Anna."

Anna deflated slightly. "Can you at least tell me why?"

There was a long pause, in which Anna tried to stand still, and Elsa fidgeted again, then hugged her arms around her legs tighter, trying to hold herself still. Eventually, the Queen sighed. "I can't go anywhere while this storm is going on."

"Neither can anyone else, that's why the castle's been locked for two days."

"No," Elsa squeezed her eyes shut. "I can't leave my room. My powers, I can't . . . it's just . . ." She tightened her hands, curling into herself a little more.

"But you've got that all under control," Anna said breezily. "We can get chocolate and-"

"Please leave, Anna."

"Wait, what?" Anna gaped. "No. I don't want to. You're got this under control, I know you have."

"It's not me!" Elsa snapped suddenly, and the storm outside ceased for a moment, then started up again. It didn't make Elsa sound particularly convincing. She glared at the window, then gave a defeated sigh. "When it's like this, all stormy and out of control, it feels the same inside me. Everything feels different, and I don't know if my powers will do what I want. Please, Anna, just leave me alone for a while. Just until the storm stops."

Anna took a small step back. "Oh. Okay. I understand. Um, do you want me to get you anything? You haven't eaten since yesterday."

But Elsa shook her head again. "No, I'm fine."

"I'll leave you alone, then," Anna said uncertainly. She rocked back and forth on her toes, torn between staying to comfort her sister (and because she was bored and lonely and worried about Kristoff) and leaving because the last few times she'd pushed Elsa's self-control had not ended well. (Frozen city, frozen heart, that sort of mundane thing)

Elsa was staring out the window again, her eyes slightly glassy.

Anna chose that as a cue to leave, and snuck carefully from the room, pulling the door closed behind her. She rested her forehead on the wood for a moment, wondering what to do next.

The wind howled; the castle seemed to shake.

Elsa buried herself under the blankets again, arms wrapped around her stomach, and curled into a ball in a futile attempt to block out the storm inside, and block in the storm inside.

Mid-winter was always hard. The last few years, Elsa had just assumed she was sick, since her insides churned in time with the wind outside, and so many people fell sick during this time of year. She hadn't connected the swell of her powers with the weather outside.

Until this year, of course.

Her first clue had been the first storm Arendelle had in the summer. She chalked that one up to the excitement (not the good kind) of running away across the frozen fjord. She had assumed the butterflies in her stomach were from finally being free. She assumed the cyclone whirling in her stomach was exhilaration from building a palace all on her own.

Then Anna had come visiting, and the next little storm had caused the same feeling in her. Feeling like a blizzard was raging through her middle, and snow was sheeting through her lungs. Again, she had considered herself a little over excited, so much so that she had managed to freeze Anna's heart.

And the third time (in a very short amount of time, in retrospect she was surprised she hadn't passed out from the feeling. Well, she supposed she had passed out, but from giant falling chandeliers, and not from the fact that her insides were apparently a hurricane) she had been so overwhelmed that it seemed like a perfectly normal feeling: absolute sickening nausea that peaked and swirled in time with the air and snow around her, and spiked icy fear into her heart.

And it had stopped, very suddenly, when Hans had told her that Anna was dead. Since then, since that time of complete despair, that feeling had not returned.

Until now. Elsa whimpered a little in her fortress of blankets, wishing it would stop. The storm outside and the storm inside were in a battle to see which was strongest. Elsa swallowed hard, trying to block out the feeling.

Conceal, don't feel. Don't feel. Don't feel. It wasn't working, she could feel everything. Frigid wind swirling in her lungs, a blizzard alive in her stomach, heavy ice settled everywhere else inside her body, and the whole lot of it churning around.

Elsa was pretty sure she was going to vomit snow if this storm got any worse.

And she had been battling this agony for two days. Two days of lying in bed, trying not to move because that made it worse, trying to pretend the storm wasn't there. But it was, and it was a part of her, and she was going to be sick, wasn't she, because she hadn't ever felt this bad before and, oh god, it's because she was actually embracing her powers and she was making it worse and it couldn't get any worse, could it, because-

Elsa's silent ramble was interrupted by another knock at the door.

"It's me again," she heard Anna's voice. "I know I only just left, like, a few hours ago, but there's nothing to do and can I come in?"

Elsa's reply was a groan, muffled into her pillow.

Anna, bless her lack of social skills, came in anyway, closing the door and padding softly to Elsa's side. "You look awful. Would it help if I closed the curtains so you can't see the storm?"

Would it help if I shot you in the head with ice so you didn't bother me when I'm trying to suffer in agony in peace?

Anna closed the curtains without waiting for an answer, then promptly slid into bed next to Elsa.

The Snow Queen nearly had a heart attack when she felt Anna slide against her, but the pillow muffled her undignified shriek.

"You're shaking," Anna observed, settling against Elsa's back.

The only thing going through Elsa's mind was don't touch me, please, I'll hurt you, please, just go-

Anna wrapped one arm around her trembling sister, ignoring how she almost convulsed out the bed at the contact. "I'll stay here tonight, if you need me to."

Elsa shook her head, but Anna had already closed her eyes and didn't see it. She was acutely aware of Anna's arm around her, and she balled her hands into tight fists, lest any magic escape them in the night and give her sister frostbite.

Funny, though . . . Elsa was feeling a little less nauseated. Anna's soft breathing on her neck gave her something else to think about. The storm inside lessened, just enough to let Elsa close her eyes, too, and relax a fraction. Anna was warm behind her, and her warmth seemed to be melting the snow settling in Elsa's gut.

She didn't sleep well that night, but it was better than the night she had before.