A/N: I'M SO SORRY. I've been busy with school and stuff and yesterday was my birthday so I figured I would post a chapter! I'll be done with school this week so please bear with me!
Chapter Eight: Fire
"Your shaking shoulders prove that it's colder
Inside your head than the winter of dead"
Oh, Ms. Believer - Twenty One Pilots
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the songs. I'm just fond of them.
Hermione said goodbye to Parvarti after they spent an hour or so catching up.
"I promise to owl you once I tell Anthony. I'll tell you his reaction and everything." Parvarti promised with a mischievous grin.
"I would love that. I'll let you know how everything goes with Theo – well, if I ever see him again." Hermione smiled back at her.
"I'm sure you will! After a hot meet up like that, he'll contact you tomorrow, I'm sure of it," she nodded.
"Okay, okay. Well, I have to go now." Hermione hugged Parvarti and they said bye once more before Hermione concealed herself in the alley to apparate to her parents' place.
After the war, Hermione got the help of Kingsley and a couple of Aurors to help track down her parents. Within a few weeks, they were able to find them and reinstall their memories. Although they were extremely upset over what Hermione did, they were just grateful that she was safe and sound.
Hermione apparated into her backyard to avoid the eyes of her muggle neighbors and she was greeted with a smile from her dad, who was sitting in the dining area reading the paper. The door was wide open so he could see Hermione appear.
"Hello, darling!" Richard stood up from his seat to go give her a hug.
"Hi dad," she smiled into his chest.
"Is she here?" Hermione heard her mom from the kitchen.
"Yes, Jean. She's here." Her father directed at the window and she saw her mom coming through the back door.
"Oh, Hermione. It's so good to see you!" she exclaimed, giving Hermione a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"It's great seeing you both. I'm sorry I haven't visited recently. I've just been… busy." Hermione told them with a forced smile.
"Not a problem. Come in, I made some salad," her mom urged, pushing her inside.
They sat at the small table in the kitchen instead of the dining room since it was just the three of them.
"How was the party?" Hermione asked as she poured dressing all over her bowl.
"It was good, although Mitch had a little too much to drink," her father chuckled.
"Like always." Her mother rolled her eyes. "And Mary couldn't stop asking about you. She misses you, you know."
"Mary? How is she?" Hermione asked, thinking fondly of her old babysitter.
"She's doing wonderful. She was telling me all about her nursing job. I told her that you had an "office job" for someone particularly important. Don't worry, I didn't tell her about your magic." Her mother smiled brightly at her, which forced Hermione to smile back.
"How is your job going?" her father asked, making Hermione's eyes go wide.
"Oh, erm. That's sort of why I wanted to talk to you guys," she played with the lettuce leaves in her salad and her mother raised an eyebrow.
"Talk to us about what?"
"I quit my job." Hermione avoided the gaze of her parents and suddenly she could feel the tension in the air and their sharp looks through the top of her head.
"Excuse me?" her father said, his voice starting to rise.
If there was one thing her parents' couldn't tolerate was Hermione being a quitter. They raised her to be the best and do as much as she can within her capability. Both of her parents came from poor households and had to work their way through college to pay for their tuition. They worked so Hermione didn't have to know the pain they both went through.
"Why would you quit your job?" Hermione's mom asked, clenching her fork tightly in her hand.
"Because I want to do more than just work for the rest of my life. I'm twenty and I feel like enjoying life. I have enough saved up to live comfortably for the next year or so and it's not like I can't get my job back."
"How does Ron feel about this?" her father asked. He was particularly fond of Ron.
"I broke up with Ron," she said, defiantly looking him in the eyes. She clutched the bottom of her shirt, to keep herself calm. Her parents looked shell shocked.
"You broke up with Ron? Why? Where are you living?" Her mother's questions came pouring out and Hermione sighed.
"Yes, I did," she said, her voice fully of weariness. "We weren't working out. He knew full well of that, too. I share an apartment with someone now. It worked out just fine," she told them.
"I'm so disappointed in you," her father said, shaking his head. Hermione's throat clenched as she looked at her mother.
"I can't believe you would do this. Don't you realize how many people would love to live your life, Hermione? You're throwing it all away," her mother gave her a disproving look and Hermione clenched her jaw.
"I did it for me. Not for anyone else."
"Why couldn't you have waited until you retired or married? It seems pointless to quit while you're at your prime," her father looked at her, his brown eyes giving her such a pitiful look. But, it wasn't pity that she wanted. She wanted them to support her decision. Her entire life was filled with their decisions. Learning what they would say yes to gave her a false sort of accomplishment as she grew up. She learned how to play the game and make them smile and pat her head, but now it wasn't enough.
And it never would be enough until she stood against the current.
"I don't want to wait till I'm old or held down by someone. I want to be my own person," she firmly told them, grasping the fork tightly in her hand for some moral support. They blinked at her like she was speaking a foreign language.
"Darling, you are your own person. You have an amazing job and a wonderful boyfriend. Isn't that good enough?" her mother tried to place her hand over Hermione's but she pulled it back.
"It sounds good, but it's not what I want. I want to experience new places and things. I want to have multiple relationships so I know that I'm not settling for just one person. I want to make these discoveries by myself. When I settle down, I just want to make sure that I-I don't have any regrets," her voice ended with a quiver and she felt her throat tighten.
Hermione knew she wasn't glass and had proved that many times over the past. She was fire, blazing brightly and vividly and she was going to show everyone.
"But-"
"But nothing. I'm not hungry anymore," Hermione shoved her chair away from the table and collected her coat from the back of it.
"Sit back down right this instance. We're not done talking," her father reprimanded but she ignored him. She could hear her parents following after her as she made her way to the back yard, but the angry sounds went away the moment she left.
Hermione apparated directly into her room and angrily hung up her coat. She marched over to her somewhat brimming shelf of books – not all of them have been put away yet – and she found a trashy romance novel that she enjoyed reading for moments like this.
When Hermione was angry, she took that anger out on a book. The book was usually something that you didn't have to think about and it eventually made her feel better. After a few hours of interactions between the main character (an office worker who is terrible at making copies) and her main love interest (her boss, of course) she began to feel lonely. She placed her book down and looked at Crookshanks who was napping at the foot of her bed.
Wondering if Draco was home, she placed her bookmark in her book before setting it down on the nightstand. The flat was quiet as she made her way to his room and she knocked softly. She listened for any sign of movement.
"Draco?" she called out. No answer came and she crossed her arm in a huff. It was sort of late, so she couldn't go to Ginny or Harry. Ron was out of the question. Luna was out of the country.
Suddenly, Hermione remembered the last physical interaction with someone she had and automatically blushed at the thought. She hesitated before going back to her room to change her clothes.
Hermione landed in front of the bar that her and Nott had went to for New Year's and she walked inside. The bartender acknowledged her with a nod before going back to cleaning his counter with a dirty rag. Hermione found who she was looking for past the crowd of people in the corner, nursing a beer and reading a book.
She walked up to the table and approached the table, her heart pounding in her chest. Nott looked up at her in surprise. "Granger?" he asked, before she sat across from him and gave him a small smile.
"Is it okay if I sit here?" she asked, bringing a small piece of hair behind her ear. Hermione didn't like to think that she was nervous, but she was. She didn't really know Nott, but she remembered how easily she could talk to him and she needed that right now.
"Of course it is," he said, putting his book facedown. "Is anything the matter?"
Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but felt herself choke up. She looked to her right to avoid his questioning look and tried to keep her cool. Not many things bothered her, but when it came to disappointing her parents she couldn't help but feel horribly guilty. "I'm not sure," she told him with a shrug and a frustrated sigh.
He surprised her by getting up and taking his book – cringing as he folded the page he was at – before closing it and placing it underneath his arm. "Come on," he motioned to her and she stood up and followed him. They both waved goodbye to the bartender and then walked into the bitter cold.
Nott held out his hand and Hermione looked at it. She wasn't sure if she should take it, but then she remembered she wasn't sure about a lot of things these days. Just like with the rest of her decisions she's made lately, she took a step forward and held on tightly.
"Welcome to my humble abode," Nott said, placing his book down on a coffee table in the living room they just landed in. Hermione looked around the room and saw that some dishes were still in the sink and a few articles of clothing were strewn across the room. The thing that surprised her most was that there were books everywhere. Every single surface that she saw at least held one book. "Sorry for the mess," he told her as he noticed her wandering eyes.
"No, I'm sorry for intruding," she smiled at him as she sat down on the couch. She picked up a book from the coffee table and looked at the cover of it. It was a book on Transfiguration and that made her look at him with a puzzling expression.
"Just some extra research," he informed her before heading to the kitchen. "You like tea?"
"As much as I like naps," she answered him, flipping through the book. It wasn't one she read before, but she knew most of the information. She turned her attention to the book that was underneath it and saw it was just another Transfiguration book. In fact, all the books on the coffee table were Transfiguration books. Her gaze turned to the book he had just set down and its subject was the process on becoming an animagus.
"Are you trying to become an animagus?" she inquired and looked at him.
He towered over the counter as he made her tea and turned his cool gaze towards her. "Sort of," he admitted with a shrug. "I'm working on more than just that."
Hermione didn't push the subject any farther and was about to place the book down before noticing the folded corners in the pages, making her squirm on the inside. "You should really start using book marks, folding the pages isn't good for a book, you know."
"I don't always have one," he smirked as he saw the look on her face. He handed her the tea and sat down next to her. She frowned at the book and the folded corners before taking a sip of her tea. Nott laughed at her. "Does it really bother you that much?"
"Only a lot," she replied back. "Books need to be taken care of and you're not doing a very good job."
"I don't get shit on them or anything." He scoffed in return.
"No, you just make the pages all crinkly and haggard. That's just as bad."
"It's not like I have anything to use to mark my place," he shrugged.
"Use anything. I've had to use a quill once," she told him.
"I'll try if it's really that big of a deal," he lifted the corner of his mouth, making her heart thump out of place.
They sat in silence as they sipped from their cups. Nott didn't ask Hermione why she came to him and she was grateful for that. He knew she was the type of person to speak when she wanted to.
After a more than a few moments, Hermione took a deep breath in and let it out before speaking. She told him about how she felt about quitting her job and breaking up with Ron. She told him about Padma and about Pansy. She told him about Draco and how she actually enjoys living in the same flat with him. She told him about her parents and how they made her feel.
Once she reached that topic, she felt herself getting choked up and not being able to say the right words. Her parents just wanted what was best for her, but she wasn't sure if what they said showed it. It just made her frustrated that they would say they supported her no matter what, yet they didn't. They couldn't support this.
And Nott listened to her. He listened to everything she had to say and she really appreciated that. When she was done, they sat in silence once again before he responded to her.
"They know you're brilliant and that you can get any job you want. They know about what you've done in the past. They know how you enjoyed being with Ron after all of these years. They know all that stuff. They're probably just shocked that you're not taking advantage of all of these opportunities because you know that you can get more out life, but they don't. From what you told me, it seems like they've had a hard time in life and compared to how you grew up they probably would never have given up a good job or a stable partner. But you're young and Merlin, Hermione you're so fucking smart and so… so beautiful. You can do what you want and everyone would bow down to you. I think you know that, too."
Hermione blinked at Nott's words and she felt her face warm up. "I-I don't know about all that," she mumbled.
"I do." His words were clear and certain and that made her look into his eyes with a newfound appreciation for him. "I know all of those things are true. Hell, especially the beautiful part after getting to see your gorgeous body the other night," he smirked at her causing her to blush ever more.
She covered her face with her hands. "I can't believe I did that, I'm so sorry. The alcohol made my head all fuzzy and I wasn't thinking straight and we were in an alleyway and it was jus-"
She couldn't finish speaking because Nott had leaned over and pulled on her wrist so he could see her face. He leaned over her with his lean body and she could smell the smoke that covered body, mixed with something woodsy. His green eyes looked her over and she could see something in them that she couldn't make out.
"Don't be sorry," he whispered. "I meant every word."
He kissed the inside of her palm and she suddenly felt hot. "You," he kissed her forehead. "Are," he kissed her blushing cheek. "So fucking gorgeous."
His mouth collided with hers in a heat a passion and Hermione melted. Before pushing him away.
"Wh-what are you doing?" she asked, noticing that her breathing had increased.
"Well, I was kissing you." Nott smirked, pulling back a little. She looked up at his carved face, with his cheekbones sticking out profusely and thought him attractive. Which only made her flush even more.
"You don't have to do that to comfort me," she turned her head away before her chin was caught by his long fingers.
"I'm not comforting you, Hermione. I'm being selfish because I had to spend the last hour staring at your cute little mouth and I was trying very hard to control myself," his fingers found their way to her lips and he traced them with a glint of something dangerous in his eyes. "I want to kiss you. So, I'm going to try a different approach. Can I kiss you, Hermione?" his voice didn't falter and his gaze held hers. She couldn't speak and her heart was thumping vividly in her chest, she swore he was about to hear it.
She gave a slight nod and shivered as Nott inched his face closer to hers.
"Are you sure?" he whispered in a low voice that made goosebumps go up her arms.
"Yes," she breathed out and she closed her eyes as his lips gently met hers.
This kiss wasn't as rushed as the other one, yet she enjoyed it tremendously. His lips were soft against her chapped ones and she worried that he would notice, but he didn't. He kept his mouth firmly on hers and she felt his tongue brush against her bottom lip, asking once again in a way that he could. She parted her lips and met his tongue with her own in a vigorous manner.
He could sense her anticipation and the hand that was cupping her chin made it's way into her curly hair and he held her firmly against himself. She let herself get caught up in the moment and a moan escaped her, which made her pull back from him in embarrassment.
She saw him smirking and he kissed her cheek before bringing his lips to her ear. "It looks like you're enjoying yourself," he chuckled deeply before taking her earlobe into his mouth, making her gasp out.
"Nott…" she breathed and she could feel the twitch of his lips against her neck and his other hand was moving down her waist…
"I thought I told you to call me Theo." he whispered hoarsely into her ear.
Suddenly, a large squeak indicated that the door to Nott's flat had just opened, causing them to freeze. Hermione pushed Nott off of her before looking to see whom the intruder was. Unsurprisingly, he held a huge grin on his face.
"Well, well, well… What do we have here?" Blaise Zabini leaned against the frame, placing his hands in his front pockets. He had a very wicked gleam in his eye.