The Way I Love You

I do not own the characters those belong to Ally Carter. As for the song lyrics (they're in bold italic) they belong to Taylor Swift. Enjoy!

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better

"Aw Cammie you're so lucky to date a guy like Josh" Liz gushes on about my boyfriend.

I smile knowing it's probably true. Josh is a big sweetheart.

"Honestly Cam I'm jealous he buys you flowers and all that stuff. I mean I would prefer a boyfriend who's a good sparring partner but yours is definitely a keeper" Leave it to Bex to drop in a comment like that.

"They're right you know. It's not everyday a girl finds a guy who listens & cares about you that much" Macy says very matter of factly.

"I know guys" And I really do. He's a perfect package. Cute, smart, and caring. I'd have to be crazy to think there was anything better.

He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine

I walk outside to his car and he opens the door for me.

"You look beautiful tonight you know" he says.

I blush "thank you." I say " You don't look so bad yourself"

"it's a gift" he says

I laugh and get in his car. Yup a girl could get used to a guy like him.

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you

You know how I said I'd have to be crazy to think there was anything better? I guess I am crazy. I miss screaming at Zach. I miss the constant fighting. I miss being so angry that I would stay up calling him every damn inappropriate name I could think of. In every language I could think of. I miss the way he seemed to love me so much he acted insane.

Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

Our relationship was like a roller coaster ride . So fast that before you knew it, it's over. The rush I got from being with Zach made me wonder how it was possible to love somebody so much you practically hated it.

He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will

"Is it okay if I call at around 8?" Josh asks as he drops me off.

"that's fine. I really had a great time today. Sorry we had to cut our date short. "i say.

"Don't worry about it. I know your friends are sleeping over" I'm happy that he gives me space whenever I need it.

Josh kisses me before I go inside. At exactly 8 he calls me. He never makes me wait for his call.

He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable

"Good afternoon ."

"Josh I've told you to call me by my first name." my mother replies going in to give Josh a hug.

"Right, sorry Mrs-uh I mean Rachel"My mother smiles and indicates that my father is in the living room. "Good afternoon " Josh greets my father. "Nice to see you again Josh. Would you like to join us for dinner?" My father is fond of Josh. Seriously I don't think he's found any one other than his business buddies and josh who knows and cares as much as him.

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

As much as I like Josh I loved Zach. Maybe my relationship with Josh is more comfortable, but I can't deny I miss Zach and the way we practically hated each other because we loved each other so much. Did that make sense? I think I am crazy.

He can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all

Months have passed. By now I should be even more in love with Josh, right? Then why do I find myself faking nearly every smile I give him. Should I feel bad about the fact that he can't tell? I don't feel heartbroken that's for sure. The thing is I'm not feeing anything...at all. I don't get butterflies around Josh. I don't get excited to see him or happy that he came to see me even when I was sick. I just don't feel anything.

And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating intoxicating
Complicated, got away by some mistake and now
I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
It's 2am and I'm cursing your name
I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you oh, oh

And that's the way I loved you oh, oh
Never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

Zach was wild, crazy everything that would send a clear message "he's trouble". He got me so frustrated. I could never completely figure him out. I still can't. All I knew then and know now is that I loved (and still love) him more than I thought was humanly possible. So much that I acted insane when I was with him. I'm not sure how or why I let him go, but I'm sure that it was a mistake. Maybe we don't belong together, maybe we do. I guess i'll just have to find out.