Pay No Attention To…

Chapter 2

"Captain," Raden said over the radio, "I'm sorry, but we won't be bringing the other one back."

"What do you mean?" Venis snapped angrily.

"She fell off the cliff," Raden said.

Rodney made a strangled noise from behind Sheppard, and he turned to look at him. Rodney's face had gone gray. Teyla stepped up and leaned into Rodney, trying to offer what comfort she could.

"She? I thought you said it was a man," Venis said.

"I heard a woman scream," Raden said, but he sounded faintly uncertain. "She must have fallen trying to climb down."

Venis gritted his teeth in frustration. "Is there a way down the cliff?"

"Not easily," Raden said, sounding resigned. "We'd have to get rope, and it's quite a ways down."

Venis sighed. "Post a man at the top of the cliff. If she's alive, and makes it back to the top, I want her. But the rest of you get back here."

"Yes, sir," Raden said.

"Come on," Venis said, starting off again at a fast pace.

Rodney stumbled, almost falling, but managed to keep his feet.

"Don't give up on her, Rodney," Teyla whispered, trying to stay close to him as they walked.

"She's scared of heights," Rodney said, his voice rough with emotion. "Terrified."

"She's tougher than she looks, McKay," Sheppard said under his breath. "Kinda like you."

Rodney didn't even acknowledge the compliment.

Jennifer lay sprawled face-down on the ledge, sobbing in terror. She had no idea how she'd managed to land on the ledge, but she must have hit her shins on the edge of it somehow. The left one was throbbing with that sickening pain you get when you stub your toe, and her right knee wasn't much better.

After an eternity of ragged breaths, she crawled forward into what seemed to be a deep cave. She couldn't make herself get to her feet, or even her knees, she just slithered forward with as much of her body on the reassuringly hard floor of the cave as she could manage, grateful beyond words for the chance to get away from the awful drop behind her.

She made it a couple of meters in and glanced back at the ledge, and her eyes widened in surprise.

It wasn't a ledge at all. It was a balcony. She must have hit the railing as she fell, and that had been just enough to tip her onto the balcony. God, I am so lucky, she thought, horrified at how close a call she'd had.

She looked up and around the cave, and realized there was a wall sconce just above her that looked almost identical to the ones on Atlantis. She looked down, and finally noticed that the floor was far too smooth to be natural, though it was covered in a deep layer of dust. Her clothes were caked with it. She took another deep breath and immediately sneezed.

She looked back at the balcony, hoping the sound hadn't carried far enough for the men above her to hear. She waited for a long moment, and then realized that if they had heard, she was better off farther in. She crawled over to the wall and used it to help get to her feet. Her legs were still watery, both from the exertion of the run and from the terror of her near-death fall. But she managed to stay on her feet and started back down the hallway.

It got dark fast, the light from the balcony fading into nothing as she got deeper in, and she had to feel her way along the wall. In Atlantis, the lights came on automatically, but they weren't doing that here. Great, another trek down a dark tunnel. The power must be out, she thought. So how the hell am I going to find my way through here? She had almost nothing with her, just her communicator—

My communicator, she thought suddenly, and started to reach for it, then froze. If she tried to reach the others and they'd already been captured or—

She broke off the thought, refusing to even consider it. She sighed. She couldn't risk it. she'd have to wait for them to try to contact her. Or get out on her own.

"Suck it up, Keller," she whispered. "You need to call in the cavalry." But how do I do that if I'm stuck inside an Ancient outpost, with no way out but a climb up a cliff, no power and no lights?

"What would Teyla do? Or Sam?" she asked herself, and sighed. She'd keep going, find the control room, and find a way to destroy the bad guys and save the day. And knowing Sam, she'd probably find a cure for cancer in the process. She grimaced, then felt for the wall again and started forward, limping uncertainly into the darkness. Maybe I can manage the cure for cancer, she thought. Think about that. Think about the Nobel Prize for Medicine. Think about how you say "Thank you," in Norwegian. Anything but the dark.

"Here we are," Venis said, coming up to an oddly symmetrical pile of rocks near a cliff. "Now is your chance to prove your value to me," he added, nodding at Rodney. "Get us inside."

Rodney nodded absently, although Sheppard wasn't sure he'd really understood Venis until he walked over to the rocks. "I'll need my hands free," he said quietly, sounding completely unlike the Rodney McKay he knew.

Venis nodded at one of his men, who released Rodney's hands from behind him. He went up to the rocks and began looking around vaguely. "You're sure there's an entrance here?" he said after several minutes.

"According to the records we found, there has to be," Venis said. "But if you're unable to find it, perhaps we could see if one of your friends has a high tolerance for pain."

"I didn't say I couldn't find it," Rodney said with some asperity. "I just wanted to be sure I wasn't wasting my time looking in the wrong place," and Sheppard breathed a sigh of relief. At least he hasn't shut down completely, he thought. We need him thinking.

"How long until your people come looking for you?" Venis said to Sheppard.

He shrugged. "At least a day," he lied. "Probably more. We're not supposed to check in until nightfall here, and they're kinda used to McKay there being slow on check-in."

"That is unfair, Colonel Sheppard," Teyla said. "That has only happened a few times. Four or five, at most."

"I heard that," Rodney muttered.

"Besides," Teyla continued, "have you not been late yourself on a number of occasions?"

"Touché," Sheppard said.

Venis studied Sheppard's face for a long moment, then turned to Rodney. "You have one hour," he said.

"I'm an honest guy," Sheppard said, wounded. "Why doesn't anybody ever believe me?"

"I won't need that long," Rodney said smugly. He pressed his hand against a piece of rock that looked just like any other bit to Sheppard, but there was an audible click, and then a portion of the rock face pulled back and then slid to the side.

Sheppard leaned around McKay to look inside, but it was dark. "Doesn't look like anybody's home," he said. "Maybe we should come back another time. We could call first—bring flowers, maybe. Or cake."

"You will lead the way, Sheppard," Venis said, and he moved behind Sheppard to unfasten his hands. He handed him a handheld light. "I will be right behind you."

Sheppard took the light. "Sure, no problem," he said. "Most of the guys we lose are in the back, anyway." He turned and smiled at the last Genii soldier in line, who looked nervous.

Jennifer shuffled through the darkness for a long time, feeling her way along the wall, without feeling any change in the corridor. Not a door, not a branching hallway, nothing. But after a while she started to feel like the corridor was angling up slightly.

How far does this thing go? she thought tiredly. The pain in her shins had eased, but even as that pain let up, her head was pounding even worse than it had after her argument with Woolsey. I hope the air in here isn't as bad as Mereth's cellar, she thought. Maybe I should turn ar—"Oof," she said, and stumbled back from the wall she'd just run into.

Only it couldn't be a wall. She'd had her hand out in front of her, feeling along the wall to her right, so it must be a railing. Or maybe a console. She felt along the top of it, but there were no buttons, just something smooth. So a railing. Which meant there were probably stairs nearby.

That's the Ancients for you, she thought. Long hallways going uphill so you can have a grand staircase. Completely impractical. For such an advanced race, their architecture is surprisingly non-functional. But a grand staircase could lead to an exit that doesn't involve a cliff…

She felt her way along the railing, careful to test each step forward to be sure she didn't pitch herself down a staircase. She was proud of her foresight when she felt the step drop away from her. She felt carefully downward with her foot and found the step.

She was about to start working her way down the stairs when she heard a sound somewhere down and to her right. She turned, and her eyes widened as she saw what could only be a flashlight beam dancing along a wall far below. She froze, trying to decide what to do, and then heard a voice.

"That's far enough, Sheppard," the voice said, and the flashlight stopped getting closer. "What do you see?"

Jennifer didn't recognize the voice, and it didn't sound friendly. She started to back away from the railing. But there was nothing but the long hallway behind her. If she started back down that, and they came down it, she'd be a sitting duck.

"It looks like an open space, maybe a meeting hall or something," Sheppard said. "I can't see much from this angle."

Jennifer could just make out the staircase in front of her in the dim light reflecting from Sheppard's light. It looked like there might be a hallway leading off from a landing a few meters below her. She tiptoed down the stairs and darted over to the dark space. It was an alcove. But is there a door? she thought, feeling along the walls. And if there is, will it open if there's no power? Please, please, let there be a door, and please, please, please, let it open, and if it opens, please, please, please, please don't let the lights come on till the door shuts, she prayed silently.

There was, and it did, and they didn't. She ducked inside and heard the door slide shut behind her. She breathed a sigh of relief. And then a few feeble lights came on. Well, it's about time, she thought to whatever it was that had answered her prayer.

"Okay…" she breathed, looking around the dimly-lit room. It was clearly a control room of some sort. Score one for following in Sam's footsteps, she thought, smiling to herself. She darted over to the main console, hoping she could remember enough Ancient and enough of Rodney's instructions about Ancient tech that she could figure out something useful. Like how to lock the door, she thought. Or, maybe…

"Captain Venis," one of the men carrying Ronon said, "do we have to keep dragging this one along? Couldn't we just tie him up and leave him someplace?"

"And risk him freeing himself?" Venis said derisively. "Don't be an idiot. You'll carry him until he wakes up."

Sheppard grinned to himself. He had no doubt Ronon had been conscious for some time, biding his time until he saw an opportunity to strike. Which will hopefully come soon, he thought.

"Proceed, Sheppard," Venis said. "But only until you can see the rest of the room."

Sheppard took a few steps farther, and found himself in an open space not unlike the gate room on Atlantis. But there wasn't a gate in this space, just a staircase leading up, and a series of hallways branching out in all directions. He described it for Venis, who came up beside him a moment later.

"Where would the control room be?" Venis said. "Or any other room with technology we could scavenge?"

"Beats me," Sheppard said. "This isn't a layout I'm familiar with. But up is usually a good bet." And stairs up would be a perfect place for Ronon to do his thing, he thought hopefully.

Apparently Venis had the same thought. "You stay down here with him," he said to the men carrying Ronon. "You, too," he added to the dozen men behind them. "The rest of you, come with me. Sheppard, you and your two friends can lead the way to the most likely spot for the control room."

Sheppard grimaced, not liking the odds, especially without Ronon to help even them. Three against seven might be doable if Teyla had her hands free. But she didn't, and they had no weapons. So we wait, he thought, hoping Ronon had the good sense to wait a little longer, too.

He led the way up the stairs to the first landing, glancing at Rodney as they got to the landing. He tilted his head toward the alcove with a door, and Rodney shrugged. "Looks as likely as anything," Rodney said tiredly.

Sheppard stepped forward and waved his hand over the door sensor.

Nothing happened.

"The power's out," Sheppard said. "I don't think it's gonna open."

"Pry it open," Venis said.

"Are you kidding?" Rodney said. "I'll bet you tried that with the outside door, too, didn't you? How'd that work out for ya?"

Venis gave him a sour look. "Pry it open," he repeated.

Rodney shook his head. "Ancient doors are designed like watertight doors. The power goes out, and they lock down. Frankly, I'm surprised the exterior door opened. It must be on emergency power. But this door isn't going to open."

Venis looked for a moment like he might argue the point, but he finally shook his head. "Fine. Let's try another."

Jennifer let out a sigh of relief when she saw the life signs dots on the console's screen moving away from her lonely dot again. Okay, she thought. I know how to lock a door. That's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Next up, trying to figure out which of those dots is which. The life signs detector was very similar to the ones she was used to, but as near as she could tell, it didn't recognize the subcutaneous transponders they carried. Or at least it didn't yet.

But what do I do when I know who's who? she thought, studying the console helplessly. It's not like I have a transporter and can just beam the good guys to safety. I have no weapons. I don't even know how to operate a tenth of what I have in front of me. I'm not Sam. I'm not-

Rodney. She stopped cold. What if I could get Rodney to tell me what to do? He'd know exactly what to do if he were in here. I just need to get him in here. Or…if I could talk to him. No, they'd hear him if he talked on his communicator. But…

Communications. She looked all over the console, trying to remember what the communications system looked like. She found something that looked right, but hesitated. I need to think this through. He's out there with bad guys listening in, so I can't just say, "Hey, Rodney, how do I take out the bad guys?" So it'll have to be in code somehow. And it'd be better if the bad guys didn't know it's me in here. If I'm lucky, they think I fell off the cliff, and it'd be best if they kept thinking that.

"You're in an Ancient outpost," she said out loud. "So be an Ancient." She thought back through everything she'd heard about the Ancients and their behavior. Janus had been arrogant and self-assured, and that seemed to be a common thread in most of the stories. "Okay, so just be the opposite of how you'd normally be," she muttered. But what about the voice? Should I go for big and scary? "God, no," she muttered to herself. "They'd never buy it from me. So…Teyla when she's pissed off."

She thought through her plan for several minutes, trying to ignore the growing ache in her head, making sure she hadn't missed something important, and then took a deep breath.

Mistake. The dust was even worse in the room, and she immediately coughed. She took a moment, breathing carefully, then put an imperious look on her face, and pressed the button she hoped would broadcast throughout the complex.

"Who dares to disturb the great and powerful Oz?" she said, and was gratified to hear it ring out over the speakers. And it sounds kind of cool.

"What the…?" Rodney said, his eyes widening, though luckily he looked more stunned than overjoyed. He turned to look at Sheppard. "Oz?"

Sheppard shrugged, glancing over at Teyla, who looked even more baffled. Well, now I know what we're watching on our next team movie night, he thought.

"I see signs of Lantean technology among you," the voice continued, soft, but with a dangerous edge to it. "I warn you, I am Oz, she who Janus was unable to defeat. If you test my patience, you will not leave this place alive."

Sheppard fought back a smile. Jennifer's really selling it. If I didn't know it was her, I'd be nervous. He glanced over at Venis, and he had to fight back another smile. Venis looked nervous.

"She who Janus…?" Rodney said, frowning, then he raised his eyebrows.

"Who is this?" Venis said. "Do you know of this Oz?"

"It can't be the real Oz," Rodney said. "She had to have died…like, ten thousand years ago!"

"Ten thousand years is a blink of an eye for one as powerful as myself," the voice said.

Venis looked shocked. "It's listening to us!" he said.

"Duh!" Rodney said. "Even if it's a recording, Ancient tech allows for interaction."

"You have not yet explained yourself," Jennifer/Oz said.

"Forgive our intrusion," Rodney said, simpering arrogantly, as only Rodney could, "oh, great and powerful Oz. We mean you no harm."

"As you meant no harm to the creature who fell from the cliff?" Jennifer said.

Venis looked even more nervous.

"Even if I believed you, the lack of intent to harm does not always mean that harm will not be done," Jennifer continued. "I did not live this long without learning caution."

"You are as wise as the stories say," Teyla said.

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Jennifer said. "If you wish to prove your peaceful intentions, you must pass my tests."

"Tests?" Venis said. "What tests?"

"Of course there'd be tests," Sheppard muttered, annoyed. "There's always tests with these guys. They're like the College Board of extraterrestrials."

"Simple enough tasks for Lanteans," Jennifer said, her voice almost silky over the speaker. "I wish to have proof of your origins and proof that you are not in league with Janus and his ilk. If you prove yourself worthy, I may consent to speak further. If not…" She trailed off menacingly.

"Can you pass these tests?" Venis whispered to Rodney.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "There isn't a test in the universe I can't pass," he said under his breath.

Venis looked unconvinced, but nodded. "We agree to your terms, Oz. But how do we know that you will uphold your end of this bargain?"

"Don't make her mad," Sheppard stage whispered. "From what I heard, she's kinda..." He trailed off, waggling his hands around his head.

"There is no bargain," Jennifer said. "You have a choice: you may take my tests or not. It matters not to me. I will simply return to my sleep, and leave you here to rot."

Venis frowned. "What do you mean?" he said. He glanced back down the stairs. He went over to the railing. "Check the door!" he called down to the men watching Ronon.

One of them trotted toward the hallway they'd entered through, but as he reached the archway, a forcefield flared into view, flinging the man back into the room.

"Okay," Sheppard said brightly, clapping his hands together and rubbing them. "So what's the first test?"

Here's where it gets interesting, Jennifer thought. "When Janus made his misguided attempt to destroy me, how was I able to foil his plan?"

"Huh?" Rodney said.

Come on, Rodney, figure it out! Jennifer thought. "Come now, a true Lantean would know the story, but one who followed Janus would not. Such an ego could not stand others knowing of his abject failure."

"Oh, uh, right," Rodney said, but he sounded nervous. "How did you foil his plan…" he said.

"You were in your control room, right?" Sheppard said. He shrugged when Rodney looked over at him. "And Janus and his men had gotten past your shields and into your lab?"

"That much anyone could guess," Jennifer said. Thank you, Colonel!

"The control room! Right! So could you, um, describe the console?" Rodney said. "I know the basic outlines of the story, but I...ah...I assume you want the details, and from what I understand, your systems were more advanced even than Janus."

"You are stalling," Jennifer said imperiously. "But I will tell you this much. In the center console, there were twelve buttons along the top row, with three rows."

"Got it," Rodney said. "So Janus had infiltrated your lab, which meant you didn't have access to the rest of the facility, so your options were limited."

Jennifer sighed. "I am growing impatient," she said.

"Hang on, I'm getting there. I just need to work it through in my head—I haven't heard the story in a long time," Rodney said. He looked sidelong at Sheppard.

"What is wrong? Don't you know the answer?" Venis whispered.

"History was never my best subject!" Rodney hissed.

"So guess—if it was you, and you had to figure out how to stop somebody like Janus…?" Sheppard prompted almost inaudibly.

"Perhaps the life support systems?" Teyla whispered.

Rodney shook his head. "Too risky—there'd be no way to isolate the control room," he said. "Wait—you had defense systems!"

"Perhaps," Jennifer said, looking over the console. What do they look like? Give me a clue, Rodney!

"The center row, third from the left," Rodney said.

Jennifer pressed the button, but nothing happened. "You fail the test," Jennifer said. "You should have known that Janus had cut off the power to the control room."

"You fool!" Venis snapped, pointing his gun at Rodney menacingly. "You'll get us all killed!"

"No, no, no!" Rodney said. "I was getting to that! You were too clever to rely only on one system for your power. You had a backup system. Bottom row, far left! You engaged the backups…but, wait—"

Jennifer pressed the button, and the dimly lit console brightened noticeably. And systems started to come on all over the complex. Uh-oh, she thought.

"What is happening?" Venis said. "Oz, I demand to know what you are doing!"

"Hold, please," Jennifer said, and cut the channel. Crap, crap, crap! she thought. How do I explain this? Damn it, I should have let Rodney finish! Think…what can you do to get out of this? Think!

Sheppard fought back yet another grin. Add one more movie to the movie night list, he thought, trying hard not to replay Jennifer's perky "Hold, please," in his head.

"What is happening?" Venis said, waving his gun in Rodney's face. "What did you do?"

"Me!?" Rodney said. "I didn't do anything! She didn't let me finish!"

"If you gave her the wrong answer, and you get us killed, I'll—" Venis began, and then stopped, unable to come up with a threat worse than death, and Sheppard had to fight back another grin.

"Rodney, perhaps we should try to figure out how to disable the forcefield," Teyla said. "Our best chance is to get out of here before Oz decides to do something more than simply keep us captive."

"Teyla's right," Sheppard said. "Look around, everybody! See if you can find any other consoles, access panels, anything we can use to get at the systems in this room!"

Venis and his men started looking around, though they carefully avoided any of the exits from the room.

"Rodney, you focus on remembering everything you can about Oz," Sheppard said. "Once we find something, we'll get you on that, but I want you to figure out what to tell her next if she comes back on."

"Over here!" one of Venis's men called, waving them over to a console he'd found on the lower level. Venis started down the stairs.

Sheppard grabbed Teyla. "Try to get Jennifer on the comm," he whispered. "Find out what you can. We'll distract Venis." She nodded, and he tapped her communication headset for her, then started after Venis.

"Jennifer," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"Oh, thank god, Teyla! Are you all right?" Jennifer said immediately. "What about Rodney? I didn't screw things up for you, did I?"

"Quite the contrary," Teyla murmured, keeping a close eye on Venis, who was hovering nervously over Rodney's shoulder as he studied the console. "Where are you?"

"In the room with the locked door," Jennifer said. "I think it's a control room. At least, it has a big console, and I've figured out the scanner part, and the communications, which I guess were already on emergency power, but nothing else was. But then I turned on the backup power like Rodney said, and everything started up. I'm sorry! I should have realized that would happen, but I didn't think—"

"Calm down," Teyla said. "You also found the forcefield generator, right?"

"I did?" Jennifer said, studying the console. She must have hit something else when she was trying to find the communication system.

"Yes, because we're trapped in here," Teyla said patiently.

"I thought I'd just locked the doors. Um…" Jennifer said, and then saw a button that was lit that she didn't remember seeing lit before. The button had a series of symbols in Ancient on it. Jennifer screwed her eyes shut, trying to remember her Ancient lessons. Something about a wall? "Okay, I think maybe I found it."

"Good," Teyla said. "See if you can figure out how to turn them off selectively."

"You there," Venis said, looking up at where she stood on the landing. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to remember what my people know of Oz," she said smoothly. "There was a statue of her on one of the planets we traded with, and there was a phrase, but I can't seem to remember what it was exactly."

"A phrase?" Rodney said, and then nodded. "Right. It could be important. Sometimes the Ancients used control phrases to access systems."

"It was something about power," Teyla said, as if talking to herself. "With great power comes great responsibility…no, that's not it…" She trailed off thoughtfully, and Venis turned back to watch Rodney.

"Teyla, do you know how to drill down into subsystems on these consoles?" Jennifer said. "I know I must have activated the whole thing, but there has to be a way—"

"Power," Teyla murmured. "Power to console? No, but that's closer. It has to be something close to that…"

"Huh?" Jennifer said, and then realized what Teyla was doing. "Power to a console," she said. "Oh! Got it!" She looked around the room at some of the other stations, and saw there was one that had a button lit. She ran over to it, and there was a screen with a map of the complex, and lit bars across all the doors. "You're a genius, Teyla. Okay, so if I hit this here," she said to herself, tapping a button, "then…" One of the light bars disappeared. "Yes! Look, Teyla, can you get the guys away from whoever it is that has you? I can get a forcefield in place."

"No," Teyla murmured.

"Damn," Jennifer said. Wait, she thought. Maybe I can… She ran back to the main console and turned on the communication system.

"Fools!" she said. "Did you think I would not notice the gate opening again?"

"Uh-oh," Sheppard said. "Rodney, any luck with the forcefield?"

"The gate?" Venis said. "Your people would not be here so soon, would they?"

"I have destroyed your ship. There will not be any rescue from the gate. Your life support has been cut off. Soon, you will suffocate, while I will return to my sleep," Jennifer said. She closed the channel.

"Damn you!" Venis said to Sheppard. "This is all your fault!"

"My fault?" Sheppard said. "You were the one who just had to come in here. We'd still be down in the town, helping those people, if you hadn't barged in."

"Rodney," Jennifer said over the communicator, "tell them you got the forcefield down."

"Uh, guys?" Rodney said, "I think I got it!"

Venis whirled to look at him. "The forcefield?"

"Yeah," Rodney said. "Give it a try."

Venis nodded at one of his men, who edged up to the archway and poked his gun barrel at it. Nothing happened. He took a careful step forward into the hall, and then broke into a run.

"Come on," Sheppard said to Rodney, motioning him over to help with Ronon. "Let's get out of here!"

"No!" Jennifer hissed. "Let those guys get out first!" She opened the complex communicator again. "What have you done?" she shouted. "You cannot escape my wrath so easily!" The forcefield flared into life as the last of the Genii dashed through the archway. It caught the Genii partway through, then spat him out onto the other side, where he hit the wall hard and lay still.

"Good work, Doc," Sheppard said quietly so the retreating Genii wouldn't hear. "When we get home, I'm buying you a cold one."

"Thanks," Jennifer said, sounding vastly relieved.

"Now open that door and let us in so we can figure out where we go from here," he said.

"Right," Jennifer said. "Hang on."

"You are not authorized to operate this installation," a voice said from behind Jennifer.

Jennifer squeaked, whirling around to find one of the Ancient holograms studying her like an insect. It was an older woman, taller than Jennifer, with graying hair and a stony expression. "Sorry," Jennifer said, her hand to her chest, trying to calm her heart. "I…uh…I am from Earth. I'm part of an expedition—"

"Uh, Doc, who're you talking to?" Sheppard said.

"This facility is no longer safe for habitation," the hologram said.

"Hold, please," Jennifer said to Sheppard, and closed the channel.

"You all must leave this facility immediately. Why have you trapped those people?" the hologram said, gesturing at the screen showing the life signs of her team.

"I haven't trapped them," Jennifer said. "The other life signs, the ones on the other side of the forcefield, they were trying to hurt us, and take this installation. I had to stop them."

The hologram frowned. "This facility is no longer safe for habitation," she repeated. "You must leave immediately. I will lower the forcefield."

"No!" Jennifer shouted. "You can't, not yet! The men on the other side of the forcefield have weapons. My friends don't. If you lower the forcefield, they will be killed. You can't allow them to come to harm, can you?"

The hologram frowned. "I am not programmed to harm. You must leave this installation."

Jennifer felt her stomach sink. "Why?"

"The mineral composition of the surrounding rock is dangerous to human life. Exposure can result in damage to the respiratory-"

"Never mind," Jennifer said grimly. "I know what the damage looks like." So I was right, she thought. This is related to an environmental factor, and it's serious enough the Ancients bailed on the place. She shook herself. "But that damage can only take place after extended exposure," she said to the hologram. "We've only been in here a few minutes. You can let us—"

"The concentrations of the dangerous compounds have intensified due to the failure of the ventilation systems," the hologram said patiently. "Exposure for more than an hour is likely to cause significant harm."

Jennifer's eyes went wide. Great, she thought. Now I have a deadline, too. And I have to add in the time I spent in the cellar... "Okay," she said slowly. "So how about if you zap those guys outside with something?"

The hologram studied her, blinking in confusion. "I am not familiar with the term 'zap.'"

"Blast, shock, electrocute!" Jennifer said impatiently.

"I am not programmed to harm," the hologram said.

"I'm not asking you to do permanent damage," Jennifer said. "Just incapacitate them long enough for us to leave this installation like you want us to do!"

"External defense systems are offline due to low power," the hologram said.

Jennifer sighed in frustration. "Of course they are," she said, annoyed. "Fine. You're here, you know your systems, why don't you figure out how to get us out of here safely!?"

The hologram continued to frown. "I cannot assist anyone not authorized to operate this installation. You must leave immediately. This—"

"Okay, look," Jennifer said, biting back her frustration. She held her hands out placatingly. "My name is Dr. Jennifer Keller," she began, "I'm from At—"

"You spoke as 'Oz,'" the hologram interrupted. "Why do you lie?"

"I'm not lying to you," Jennifer said desperately. "I was lying to them!" She gestured at the retreating life signs.

"I cannot assist you," she said. "And I cannot allow any of you to remain in this installation."

"We don't want to stay here," Jennifer said, "we just need to wait a little—" and out of the corner of her eye, she saw one of the forcefield symbols pop up on the screen. "No, no, no! Look, the people I was trying to protect are authorized to operate this installation!" Please, let the Ancient gene be enough to convince her, Jennifer prayed. "They are descendants of the Ancients who went to Earth, the ones who abandoned Atlantis."

The hologram studied her for a moment, her eyes narrowed.

"Oh, for god's sake," Jennifer said, turning back to the console. "How do you do the scan—?"

There was a bright light, and Jennifer had an instant to think, Son of a bitch, before she lost consciousness.

"Does somebody want to tell me who this Oz is?" Ronon said, sitting up and looking annoyed.

"Long story," Rodney said. "We'll tell you all about it when we get back to Atlantis. For now, we just need to figure out how to get out of here."

"Only Jennifer's not talking to us," Sheppard said.

"So we try to get the door open," Rodney said.

"I thought you said they were like watertight doors," Sheppard said.

"Of course I did," Rodney said patiently. "To that guy. The last thing I wanted was for him to get into a control room."

"Okay, so open the door," Sheppard said.

Rodney climbed the stairs back up to the door and spent several minutes looking around the door.

"Rodney?" Sheppard prompted.

Rodney glanced over at him, looking a little uncomfortable. "Well, it's not impossible," he said, "but…"

"Great," Sheppard said. "Hey, Jennifer, come on out."

There was no answer.

"Oh, Oz," Rodney called. "Come out from behind the curtain."

Sheppard exchanged a look with Teyla. "Jennifer?" Teyla said. "Can you hear us?"

"Oh, that's just great," Rodney said, shaking his head. "Somehow she managed to find a well in here."

"I knew you were lying!" Venis said, coming up to the forcefield and glaring angrily at Teyla and Ronon through it. "You thought you could trick us into leaving, but we are not so foolish! There is no Oz!"

"Ah, just let him in here," Ronon said. "I'm getting sick of this guy."

"Come on, Rodney, get that door open!" Sheppard muttered. "If we lose those forcefields, we'll have more than just Keller to worry about."

"I'm working on it," Rodney said impatiently. "Wait! Got it!" He pulled at something, and an access panel came off. "I don't have any of my tools with me, though, so it's going to be a little more difficult."

"Would this help?" Ronon said, coming up and handing over a multitool.

"Yes!" Rodney said, grabbing it and turning back to the panel.

"How'd you manage that?" Sheppard said. "Weren't your hands tied?"

Ronon just gave him a look.

"Yeah, never mind," Sheppard said. "Listen, why don't you two see if you can find us a fallback position. Don't go too far, though. I want you back here if we get this open."

"When," Rodney corrected.

"Got it," Ronon said. He turned back to look around the room, and noticed that Venis had several of his men poking at the forcefield with their guns. It wasn't repelling them the way it had the others, and it was looking a little strange. "Uh, guys?"

Sheppard looked over his shoulder and saw what Ronon was looking at. "Rodney," he said. "Does that mean we need to hurry?"

Rodney glanced back, then turned quickly back to the panel.

"Jennifer," Sheppard could hear Teyla calling over the comm. "Please respond."

What the hell happened to her? he thought, worried.

"Jennifer," Sheppard's voice came over the comm. "If you can hear me, we really, really need you to open that door, okay?"

I haven't had a drink in weeks, Jennifer thought vaguely. So why do I have a hangover?

She opened her eyes and there was the base of an Atlantean-style console in front of her. Oh, yeah, she thought, remembering what had happened. Or most of it, anyway.

"Do not attempt to operate the controls again," the hologram said as she slowly sat up, her head pounding.

Jennifer looked over at it, and all at once, she lost it.

"Oh, you did not just zap me!" she said furiously, struggling to her feet, swaying slightly. "It's bad enough that since I got to Atlantis, I've been shot at, dumped in a hole, nearly turned into a Wraith ship, shot at again, chased by Wraith, shot at again and chased off a cliff! That's all par for the course in this infuriating galaxy! But not only does all that happen to me, but every single time I go off-world, I end up unconscious! Well, this is it! I have had it!"

The hologram looked steadily at her, but there was faint confusion in her eyes.

"None of this is my fault! None of it, do you hear me? I didn't ask for those guys," she pointed at the life signs behind the forcefield, "to show up here. I came here to help the people in that town—who, by the way, are sick because of the mineral compounds you keep telling me are so dangerous—and everything else that happened is because of those guys. So here is what's going to happen. You," she said, stepping close to the hologram and pointing at her face, "are going to stop being a stupid, cryptic, unhelpful Ancient hologram. You are going to zap those guys outside like you just zapped me. And you are going to open up that door right now, understand? And if a shark shows up, there better be a goddamned cure for cancer in here, or I swear, I'm gonna—!"

The door opened.

Jennifer looked over her shoulder to find Rodney and the Colonel staring at her. She turned back to the hologram. "Thank you!" she said angrily.

"Are you okay?" Colonel Sheppard said warily.

"No, I am not okay!" Jennifer said. "I'm not at all okay! You!" she pointed at Sheppard. "Tell this life-sized Microsoft paperclip to start helping! You!" she pointed at Rodney, "give me ibuprofen right the hell now!"

Sheppard glanced sidelong at Rodney, who looked wide-eyed back at him.

"Did I stutter?!" Jennifer snapped.

"Uh, Rodney," Sheppard said. "Ibuprofen. Teyla, Ronon, we're in. Get on back here." He smiled tentatively at Jennifer, then walked around her to stand in front of the hologram. "I think we got off on the wrong foot," he said. "I'm Colonel John Sheppard, and you must be...uh...Oz."

"No," Jennifer said derisively. She dry-swallowed the ibuprofen Rodney gingerly handed her. "I'm Oz. This thing showed up later, after I did all the heavy lifting. And then she had the gall to knock me out!"

"Jennifer," Teyla said, skidding into the control room with Ronon right behind her. "I'm so glad you're all right."

The lights flickered, and the hologram blinked out for a moment, then came back, though it was fainter. "Power levels are at twenty-five percent," she said.

"Oh, great," Rodney said. "So much for finding a functioning Zed P.M."

"All non-essential systems are being powered down," the hologram said, and the console showing the forcefields went dark.

"Wait! Shut the d—!" Jennifer snapped, but the hologram was gone. And the door was still open. "Oh, you stupid hologram!"

"Rodney?" Sheppard said. "You might want to...ah..." He waved vaguely at the door.

"I have the most powerful intellect in two galaxies, and all I get asked to do is open and shut doors," Rodney muttered, stomping over to the door. "I should work at the Ritz. At least I'd get tips."

"Hurry!" Teyla said, looking over her shoulder. "They're coming!"

Rodney yanked at something on the panel with the multitool pliers, then ducked into the control room as the doors slid shut, bullets from the Genii pinging off the doorframe beside him.

"Okay," Sheppard said brightly. "This is good. We're in here, they're out there. We can just wait till Atlantis sends somebody looking for us. Could be worse."

"DON'T say that!" Jennifer said, rubbing her temples.

"It's worse," Rodney said from where he'd gone over to look at the console.

Jennifer shot Sheppard a deadly look.

"Worse how?" Sheppard said, beating a hasty retreat over to Rodney and looking over his shoulder.

"Life support is failing," Rodney said grimly. "Those guys out there'll be just fine—they're not cut off from the outside, so they can leave. But we're sealed in here. And I mean sealed. Airtight."

"And if we open the door," Teyla said equally grimly, "we'll be in a firefight."

"With no fire," Sheppard finished. "Okay, so maybe it's not so good." He paused. "How long do we have?"

"That's the good news: a long time," Rodney said. "Judging from the size of the room and the number of us in here. Figure about 5000 cubic feet, with five of us—"

"Oxygen isn't the problem," Jennifer said acidly. "I was right. There's something toxic in the air. That's why the villagers have been getting sick. The hologram told me we couldn't stay here because it wasn't safe, and kept trying to shut down the forcefields. The idiot. But she was right about the air. We need to get out of here. Fast."

Sheppard sighed, rubbing one hand through his hair, then paused. "What's that?" he said, pointing at a spot on the console.

"Huh?" Rodney said, glancing over from where he'd been studying the power readouts. "What does it look like? It's a hallway."

"Yeah," Sheppard said patiently. "But a hallway from what to what?"

Rodney looked at it, then blinked. "There's another way out," he said.

Jennifer looked at what Sheppard had pointed out. "And I know where that goes," she said. "That's the way I came in." She didn't sound happy about it.

"You mean, the cliff?" Rodney said.

"That's perfect," Sheppard said. "They only left one guy up there. We play our cards right, and we can get out of here without a firefight. Rodney, you see if you can figure out how to get that back door open."

"Again with the doors!" Rodney said irritably.

"Well, can you get the life support going?" Sheppard said, equally irritated.

Rodney looked like he'd just found a chicken foot in his soup. "Okay, okay," he said. "I'll open the stupid door."

Jennifer sighed and sank down to sit against the main console and leaned her face against the palm of her hand.

"So what's the plan when we get to the cliff?" Ronon said.

"How hard is it to get up to the top?" Sheppard asked Jennifer.

Jennifer's face fell as she looked up. "For you?" she said. "Piece of cake. It's maybe…three meters to the top, four at the most. And there are almost steps, like there might have been a stairway a long time ago, but it's worn away."

"Don't worry, Doc," Sheppard said. "We'll go up first and take out the guy at the top, and then we'll get you up there safe, okay?"

Jennifer sighed. "God, I'm pathetic."

"No," Sheppard said. "Rodney's pathetic, you're—"

"Hey!" Rodney said indignantly.

"—you're just human," Sheppard finished, grinning.

"Yeah," Ronon said. "Besides, today you've been making me look pathetic."

Jennifer snorted. "Yeah, right."

"I mean it," Ronon said. "You didn't see me getting away from those guys, did you?"

Jennifer stared at him. "I just assumed you let yourself get caught," she said, wide-eyed.

"Oh," Ronon said, looking embarrassed.

"I don't think this was a finest hour for any of us," Sheppard said sourly. "Except for you. I meant it when I said I owed you a beer."

"He's right," Rodney said from the door. "If it weren't for you, we'd still be dealing with Captain Penis out there."

"Yeah," Sheppard said, grinning. "Doing Oz was pure genius."

"Thanks," Jennifer said, smiling a watery smile at him. "I got lucky. I normally suck at improv." She blinked, then looked over at Rodney. "Wait…did you say Captain Penis?"

Rodney grinned sheepishly. "Well, it's actually Venis, but…I mean…seriously, who could resist that one?"

Jennifer rolled her eyes, and then coughed. She frowned, swallowing, then tried to catch her breath. And coughed hard again.

"Jennifer?" Teyla said, concerned.

"'m okay," Jennifer said breathlessly, hoping none of them would question her any further. "Just…a tickle." She took a tentative breath. "I got a mouthful of dust when I landed on the balcony."

"Rodney, how close are you?" Sheppard asked.

"I can open it now," Rodney said, getting up from where he'd knelt at an access panel by the door.

"Any chance you can get the sensors up? I'd really rather not open the door on the Gonad of Justice," Sheppard said, and Jennifer laughed, but it turned into a series of racking coughs.

"On it," Rodney said, glancing nervously at Jennifer as he knelt next to her at the console. "Gimme a minute, and we'll know where he and Testicle Boy are."

"You have been here longer than any of us, Jennifer," Teyla said, her hand on Jennifer's shoulder. "Could the toxin in the air be affecting you faster?"

Jennifer grimaced. I should have known Teyla wouldn't let it go. "It could be a cumulative effect," she conceded, breathing shallowly.

"What are the other symptoms?" Sheppard said.

Jennifer looked up at him, and hesitated.

"C'mon, Doc, if it is this air," he said, waving his hand, "we need to know what it's gonna do."

Jennifer nodded. "Headache is the—" She broke off, shaking her head. "God, I'm an idiot. Headache. I've had a headache all day."

"Right," Sheppard said. "Headache, then what?"

"Irritability—"

"I'd say that's a yes," Rodney said, and Jennifer glared at him.

"The cough. Then dizziness, shortness of breath, weakness. It looks a lot like a respiratory infe—" She broke off, coughing, and leaned on one hand, her other wrapping around her ribs. "Ow," she said faintly once the coughing stopped.

"Rodney," Sheppard said.

"Hang on," Rodney said. "I'm having to use the power source from my scanner, and—"

"Just get it done," Sheppard said. "We're gonna have a lot harder time getting out of here if we're all coughing."

"I'm sorry," Jennifer said miserably.

"Don't be," Rodney said, attaching leads from his scanner to the underside of the console. "You managed not to get a broken ankle. And you haven't been caught by those guys out there. So you're batting .500. Besides, we have a way out of here. We'll be back on Atlantis breathing clean air in no time."

"Batting .500?" Jennifer said. "What's that supposed to—?"

There was a faint thump from the front door.

"Great," Sheppard said. "Well, at least we know one of them's out there."

"Got it," Rodney said, and scrambled out from under the console. He pressed a series of buttons on the console, and looked at the screen. "Actually, it looks like most of them are out there."

"Most of them?" Sheppard said, sounding resigned.

"Two of them are at the entrance we came in," Rodney said, pointing. "But there are three others. I think they're exploring the rest of the complex."

Sheppard studied the console. "Okay, it looks like we can make it if we go right now. Fast." He turned and knelt next to Jennifer. "Listen, Doc…" he began, looking intently at her.

"I know, I'll try not to cough," she said. She started to her feet, then swayed, grabbing for the console, and Teyla took hold of her arm to steady her. "Sorry," Jennifer said, blinking. "Got up too fast."

Sheppard turned to Rodney. "Kill the lights and then open the door. We gotta get out of here now."

"Be careful. There are probably steps up. The hallway I came in was…" Jennifer thought hard. "About ten steps above this level."

Rodney nodded, and hit a button on the console. The lights went out, and Sheppard turned on the small lantern Venis had given him. He shone it on the access panel by the door and Rodney pulled at something with the multitool.

Sheppard killed the lantern as the door slid open silently. He poked his head out the door, then slapped Ronon's arm to get him to follow.

Rodney fumbled his way through the dark over to Jennifer, bumping roughly into her and almost sending her to the floor before Teyla steadied her. "Sorry," he whispered, and then she felt him take her hand. "Don't worry—I've got you."

Jennifer smiled and squeezed his hand as he and Teyla helped her feel her way to the door and out. She could hear the faint sound of Sheppard's footsteps ahead of her and tried not to think about who else might be able to hear them.

They made their way up the steps she'd predicted, and out into the long hallway. The steps down must have been on the opposite side from the wall she'd felt her way down, Jennifer thought, and was glad of it. She'd probably have fallen down them if she'd come down that side.

She held her breath as long as she could, but finally she had to take a careful breath. Amazingly, it didn't set her off, and she thanked the universe for that. Rodney squeezed her hand again, and she was immeasurably glad he was there. Somehow the dark and the danger and the cough weren't nearly as frightening with him—

I'm an idiot, she thought. I'm such an idiot. Why on earth have I been fighting this so hard? It's not like he's bad to look at. He's no Ronon, but he has lovely eyes. And yes, he has an enormous ego, but unlike most guys, he actually deserves it. How many girls can say they're with a guy who's saved the world more than once? And he's been so sweet to me, especially—

She suddenly became aware of a faint light ahead, and they came around a curve to see the balcony about fifty meters ahead. She breathed a sigh of relief, and immediately felt the tickle in her throat. Oh, no—

Jennifer tried to hold it in, tilting her head back and clamping her free hand over her mouth, but the cough came anyway. It came out as a strangled sound, but a sound nonetheless, and it echoed down the long hallway.

Sheppard turned back and waved them forward wildly, and they moved ahead more confidently now that they could see where they were going. Jennifer hoped it was fast enough. At least the curve will keep us from being seen from the end, she thought.

"Okay," Sheppard whispered, his voice barely audible, when they got to the balcony. "Ronon will go first, then me. We'll take out the guy at the top, then the three of you will follow."

Jennifer swallowed hard, closing her eyes and trying not to think about her last experience on the cliff.

Ronon climbed out onto the railing like he was going out for a stroll, and Sheppard followed him just as easily.

"I will go ahead of you," Teyla whispered. "Rodney, you will come behind her, all right?"

"Yeah," Rodney said, leaning against the wall, clearly trying to look nonchalant, but Jennifer knew he wasn't much better than she was with heights.

There was a sound from outside, and then Sheppard's voice. "Come on!"

Teyla clambered out on the railing. "Just do as I do, Jennifer," she said.

"Stop right there!" a voice rang out from down the hallway.

Jennifer whirled and saw Captain Venis and his men running after them. Oh, hell, she thought. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Teyla's worried face. "Go!" she hissed, and turned back to Venis. "We surrender!" she said. "There's no way I'm going out there, not after what happened to them!"

Venis skidded to a halt in front of her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, they got zapped!" Jennifer said, letting all the stress of the day come out of her voice. "All three of them! They're dead!" She felt tears roll down her face, and was proud of herself for being able to cry on command. Though she doubted she'd have been able to do it if she hadn't already been pushed to the breaking point.

Venis pushed past her and looked out and up. He frowned, and turned back to his men and pointed at two of them. "You, get out there and find them."

"Sure," Rodney said grimly. "Go ahead. It's your funeral."

The two men hesitated, glancing uneasily at each other.

"They're lying, you idiots!" Venis said. "Raden, contact your man on the cliff."

"Henik," Raden said, "report."

There was no response.

"They must have taken him," Venis said. "Get up there, now!"

"Or maybe Henik got zapped, too," one of them said stubbornly. "I'm not going."

Venis fumed, and for a moment, Jennifer was afraid he was going to shoot them, but he finally turned to look at her. "You must be Oz," he said venomously.

"Um, sort of," she said nervously. "I came in here, found the control room, and there was a hologram, and I—"

He backhanded her, and she fell hard.

"Hey!" Rodney said, lunging after him, and two of the men grabbed him, barely holding him back as he struggled wildly in their grasp. "You son of a—"

"You will lead me to this control room," Venis said, looming over Jennifer, who lay stunned, tasting blood in her mouth. "And you will show me how you accessed this hologram."

Jennifer didn't answer, still blinking in shock at having been hit, and Venis gestured to his men to pick her up.

"Leave her alone!" Rodney shouted, and Venis turned and held his gun to Rodney's chin.

"You will stop, or I'll shoot you now. Or maybe I should shoot her first," he said.

Rodney's look could have frozen plasma, but he stopped struggling.

"The control room," Venis said to Jennifer, who was barely standing, the two men holding her up.

"It's…" she began, and blinked. "It's back down the hall."

They made their way back down to the control room, Jennifer managing to find her feet by the time they got there.

"You okay?" Rodney said worriedly.

"I'll live," she said, not trusting herself to nod. She was feeling more than a bit dizzy.

"Shut up," Venis snapped. "Show me this hologram."

"The power's down," Rodney said. "I can bring up the emergency power if you—"

"I want her to do it," Venis said.

Jennifer made it over to the main console and pressed the button Rodney had told her to use.

"Power levels are below twenty-five percent," the hologram said, springing to life behind them, and one of the Genii wheeled and fired, the sound of the shot deafening in the enclosed space.

"You idiot," Venis said. "It isn't real."

"This facility is no longer safe for habitation," the hologram said. "You all must leave this facility immediately."

"Not until I get what I want," Venis growled. "Where are your weapons?"

The hologram studied him for a moment. "This facility is no longer safe for habitation," the hologram said again. "You all must leave this facility immediately."

Venis clenched his fist, and turned to look at the console, shoving Jennifer aside. She staggered, one of the Genii steadying her. Venis started punching buttons randomly, and suddenly there was a blinding flash.

Jennifer closed her eyes, expecting to lose consciousness again, and almost looking forward to it, but instead she felt the man holding her up collapse, and she fell with him. When she opened her eyes, everyone else in the room was out cold. Including Rodney.

She looked back at the hologram. "You must leave this facility immediately," it said.

"Yeah," Jennifer said. "I got that. Thanks for the help. Finally." She struggled to her feet and looked around. She spotted Ronon's blaster on one of the Genii and grabbed it, tucking it into her jacket, then turned to Rodney and sighed, which immediately led to another series of racking coughs. "Oh, this day just gets better and better," she murmured when she could catch her breath. She bent over, grabbed Rodney under the shoulders and started to drag him towards the door.

The hologram studied her as she went, and Jennifer heard the door whoosh open behind her. She looked up. "You know, this would all have been a lot easier if you'd just done this an hour ago."

"I could not trust you an hour ago," the hologram said. "Do not return to this facility."

"Don't worry," Jennifer said, "there's no place like home," and dragged Rodney through the door.

"All non-essential systems are being powered down," the hologram said, and the facility went dark.

Jennifer felt her way down the stairs, struggling under Rodney's weight, and hoped she could make it out of the building before she collapsed. She made it to the hallway she'd seen Sheppard come through however long ago that had been, and started down it. She made it far enough to see daylight reflecting off the walls around her, then froze as she heard something.

She set Rodney down with a thump and whirled, pulling out Ronon's blaster and pointing it toward the sound. She had to catch herself on the wall as she started to tilt, and the blaster wavered as her arm shook. "Welcome to the party, pal! You'd better get the hell out of here, because I'm pissed off enough to just start shooting." She fired a shot randomly to make her point.

"Jesus, hold your fire, Doc!" she heard, and Sheppard came around a corner, looking stunned in the dim light.

"Oh, thank god," she said, and let the blaster drop to her side.

"What happened to Rodney?" Teyla said.

"He's okay, he just got zapped along with Dick-boy and his minions," Jennifer said as they came up. "Here," she said, handing Ronon his blaster. "I got your toy back." She leaned heavily against the wall.

Ronon looked blankly at the blaster, then back at her. "Who's pathetic?" he rumbled under his breath.

"You okay, Doc?" Sheppard said, taking her arm as Teyla knelt next to Rodney.

"No, not really," she said. "But we need to get out of here. They won't be out for long, and I don't trust Oz to keep them in there."

"Roger that," Sheppard said. "Ronon, grab Rodney and let's get the hell out of Oz."

"Ha, poison poppies can't keep this guy down for long," Rodney said, rolling onto his knees and staggering to his feet. "I take it our Ancient friend finally decided to make herself useful?"

"Something like that," Jennifer said, glancing nervously back at the long hallway. "But if you're up, then…"

"Yeah," Rodney said. "Let's go. I can close the front door on the way out, give us a little more time."

Jennifer pushed herself off the wall and wavered. Ronon stepped forward, scooped her up into his arms, making her yelp, and set off at a run for the door.

The others followed and after Rodney closed the door behind them, they started back towards the village.

"You can put me down," Jennifer said from Ronon's arms. "I can walk."

"Not as fast as I can carry you," Ronon said practically.

Jennifer pursed her lips, but didn't protest. Instead, she leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes, wishing she could just pass out so the dizziness would stop. God, don't let me throw up all over his pretty dreadlocks, she thought fervently.

"I hope that bastard gets out here before we go," Rodney muttered darkly.

"Easy there, Bronson," Sheppard said. "I'd rather get home so we can call in the cavalry. They can kick his ass for you, okay?"

They'd almost made it to the village when there was a sound from behind them. Ronon set Jennifer down and turned, raising his blaster.

"You have been nothing but trouble!" Venis said, marching up behind them with his men, guns at the ready. "Well, that ends now!"

"Oh, no, not again," Jennifer murmured, leaning tiredly against Rodney.

"Put down your weapons," Woolsey's voice said, booming out from the puddle jumper that suddenly decloaked above them. "I will not ask twice."

Venis looked up at the puddle jumper, his mouth working soundlessly in fury, but he slowly laid his weapon on the ground, and his men followed suit.

Sheppard glanced at his watch. "Look at that. Eighteen-oh-four." He grinned happily at Jennifer. "I never thought I'd be glad for Woolsey being such a punctual pain in the ass."

Rodney turned, looked at Ronon, who nodded and reached over to steady Jennifer, and Rodney walked over and punched Venis in the nose.

"Jennifer," Teyla said, coming into the infirmary the next morning. "How are you?"

"I'm feeling much better with the oxygen," Jennifer said. "The cough isn't nearly as bad. But Dr. Voight is being the infirmary nazi again, and he's keeping me till I'm not coughing at all, and my O2 sats go up another two points. Which, even with the treatment we developed, will take another week at least."

"That's great!" Rodney said, coming in with Sheppard and Ronon trailing him, and then, at Jennifer's sour look, "Not that you're stuck here, I mean. That you're feeling better. But wait…if you're stuck here…then…" He trailed off, looking dismayed.

Jennifer took pity on him. "I know, the beer will have to wait," she said. "But I haven't forgotten. How's the hand?"

"It really hurts," Rodney said, wiggling his fingers in the cast. "But it was totally worth it." He gave her a look that set butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

"So, uh, what about Mereth and the others?" Jennifer asked Sheppard to defuse the situation.

"All relocated, safe and sound. Mereth said to tell you she's doing much better," Sheppard said.

Jennifer sighed in relief. "That's good to know. I was afraid long-term exposure might have done more damage."

"Apparently not," Sheppard said. "Speaking of damage, I've been meaning to ask you, Rodney. Where did you send Captain Penis and his pals?"

Rodney looked smug.

"Rodney, you did not send them to one of those gates in space, did you?" Teyla said, aghast.

"Of course not," Rodney said, "even though he deserved it for hitting Jennifer. No, you remember M4X-282?"

Sheppard frowned, thinking, then looked delighted. "The one we had to send a puddle jumper through to rescue the MALP?"

"The very one," Rodney said.

"Nice," Ronon rumbled.

"I don't get it," Jennifer said.

"The gate there's on a cliff that collapsed," Sheppard said. "There's about a fifteen-foot drop right on the other side, and the DHD is broken. They won't be going anywhere for a very long time."

"Good," Jennifer said fervently. "So, are you here to break me out of this joint? I hate being a patient, and I've spent way too much time as one in my own infirmary." She sighed, leaning her head back against her pillow and staring at the ceiling. "The ceiling isn't even interesting. I really should do something about that."

"No breakout, I'm afraid," Sheppard said. "I know better than to piss off a doctor. But at least we have something better to look at than the ceiling." He pulled up a cart with an extra-large monitor on it and a laptop.

Jennifer blinked at him. "What?"

"Movie night, or day, rather," Rodney said, coming around to pull up a chair next to her on the other side of the bed, with Ronon coming up to sit on the next bed. "These two have some cultural references to catch up on."

"Cultural references?" Jennifer said, a smile creeping onto her face as she realized what he must mean.

"Yep," Sheppard said. "We have quite a marathon. First up, The Wizard of Oz, followed by Galaxy Quest, and then, if you're still up for it, a tribute to you saving our collective asses."

Jennifer raised an eyebrow.

"Die Hard," Sheppard said, grinning.

"Come on," Rodney said, smiling wickedly at her. "Say it. You know you want to."

"Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker," Jennifer said, grinning.