Hey everyone. I started writing this a long time ago, but one-shots (that sometimes turned into longer stories) kept getting in the way. Anyway, I always knew I would publish this before BOFA comes out, and now the first trailer has been released and I've written 10 chapters so far, so now is as good a time as any, right?

This is a new one for me. If you know my stories, you know that my other stories are all from Durin POV (Kíli and Fíli, mostly, with one one-shot from Thorin's POV). But I always wanted to challenge myself and write about the other dwarves as well, because I absolutely love the way PJ managed to portray them all with their individual personalities, and that's where this story comes in. It's about the Battle of Five Armies, and while it'll still contain lots of Fíli and Kíli moments you'll also find Dwalin, Balin, Ori, Bofur and Glóin. And Thorin of course. If you read this story and feel like they are out of character, please let me know!

Plus, you'll find that I added lyrics at the end of each (sub-)chapter. Please not that most of the time it's really just the quoted lyrics that fit the story, so don't get confused in case you listen to one of the songs (listen to them, they're great!). But let me assure you that I like all of the songs I use here, so that gives you some info on my taste in music I guess LOL

You should also know that I always try to make my individual fanfics fit each other. So since my first fic was a Kiliel fic, you'll find hints of Kiliel in here, too. (But it will definitely not be that important to the story.)

Last but not least, here's to the warnings:

Spoilers for BOFA, some dwarven curses, violence and character death. In other words, the usual BOFA fic. ;)

And now let's start with a bit of Fíli being his awesome self! :)

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The choices we make

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

1: Search of change

Days had passed since Fíli, Kíli, Bofur and Óin had reached the Lonely Mountain and met the rest of the company again. They had arrived worn out and tired after Smaug's destruction of Lake-Town followed by the long journey across the lake to the mountain. But they had made it, and at first that had been all that mattered.

But the initial happiness had vanished now, for the elves of Mirkwood and the men of Dale had come to the reclaimed mountain and, represented by Bard, ordered Thorin to share his part of the treasure with them. The proud king refused, and suddenly the situation was tense between the dwarves inside the mountain and the elves and men at the foot of it.

Will you have peace or war? –I will have war!

The words echoed in Fíli's ears as he and Kíli followed their uncle back into the mountain after their meeting with Bard, the former bargeman and newly appointed Master of Dale. They sent shivers down his spine, and for the first time since he'd known his uncle he had a pit in his stomach when he looked at him. The rest of the company looked at Thorin expectantly as he approached.

"These greedy humans! I will not give them anything!" yelled Thorin. "They may besiege us all they want, but we are made of stone and will not give in to their impudent claims! And if those blasted elves wish to keep them company, so be it. I will not bow to skinny pointy-eared woodland walkers!"

The other dwarves didn't dare say anything at his outburst. They just stood there and listened to Thorin's rage, and most of them even nodded slightly in agreement. Only a few spoke quietly to each other, and of course it was Balin who took a step forward when his black-haired leader shook his fist in anger at the invisible enemy outside the mountain halls.

"Thorin," he said, "autumn and winter are before us. We will not last that long."

"Neither will they," replied Thorin with a grim expression on his face. "Cold and hunger will befall them outside just the same. And Dáin will be here soon. If these fools think they can wrongfully take what isn't theirs, they're mistaken!"

"They will not give in that easily," muttered Balin, and his white beard vibrated as he shook his head as if to underline his words.

"Then they'll have to fight!" Thorin replied sharply.

"That's stupid!"

All heads turned at these words, because it hadn't been Balin who said them.

Fíli stepped forward, his shoulders squared and his head held high even under Thorin's furious gaze. For a split second it looked like Kíli would hold his brother back, but then let him go, his dark eyes never leaving the blonde dwarf.

"What did you say?" Thorin hissed with narrowed eyes.

"You're risking open war just for a tiny fraction of the treasure. That's stupid."

Fíli didn't lower his gaze, nor did he step back, when his uncle approached him with only a few long strides. He could see the older one clenching his fists and pressing his lips to a thin line, but he didn't care. He knew Thorin was furious, and some part of him urged him to apologise and leave it be, but all of a sudden there was another voice within. One that had whispered to him before, though rather seldom, during dark nights and nightmares of watching a young, raven-haired dwarf die in his own blood; one that had spoken to him in the otherwise dreamless state of unconsciousness after Smaug had destroyed the lives of nameless people – the voice had been there all along, and had now decided to come forth. It drowned out the other voice; the one that told Fíli of the love and respect and loyalty he held for the dwarf who had so desperately tried to replace the father he'd lost too soon, the one that begged him to understand his uncle's motives and let it be.

But I cannot let this rest. Not this time.

"You have more gold than you could ever count, and yet you refuse to give these poor people their fair share! Their town was destroyed because you angered Smaug, their people died because you thought you could take on that dragon all by yourself! Don't tell me they don't deserve some compensation for that."

Fíli didn't need to turn around to see his brother nod slightly in support.

Thorin was standing so close to his nephew that the young one could see the fire blazing in his hardened, strikingly darkened eyes.

"I do not owe them anything. The gold is mine, as is this mountain, and I will not let them take away any of it."

He spoke quietly, but every word seemed to echo even louder in the grand halls of the mountain, and years later Ori would say that Thorin grew larger as he stood before Fíli, although that might have been his imagination.

"You! You, it's always just you!" Fíli could feel himself shaking with rage, a feeling stronger than he had ever experienced before - stronger than his despair after his father's death, stronger than his fear when Kíli had been shot, stronger even than his fury when Thorin had forced him to choose between brother and uncle and ripped his heart to shreds in the process. He heard himself speak as if from far away when emotions buried deep inside boiled up to the surface. "It was your greed that brought death upon them, and it will be your greed that'll bring death onto all of us! Why can't you just once think of others instead of only yourself? Go outside and agree to negotiate, let them have their share and we can get this over with once and for all, instead of ruining us all with your selfishness!"

"Selfishness? I gave up everything I had for this mountain." Thorin's voice became dangerously cold. "I've sacrificed so much, I've lost everything dear to me and given everything I ever had, so don't you dare call me selfish."

"Everything dear to you, huh?" repeated Fíli quietly, his blue eyes boring into his uncle as he took a step backwards. "At least you made your priorities clear."

"Fíli...", he heard his brother mumble behind his back, and he turned his head to face the younger one.

"No, Kee. Don't even try." He could see a shadow of hurt cross Kíli's face, but it was gone with the blink of an eye, and for the first time in his life, Fíli didn't even care. He took another step backwards, away from Thorin, who was watching him intently with a kind of calmness upon him that resembled a volcano. A volcano was always the quietest before the outburst, and everyone who took a closer look at Thorin knew that he was near exploding.

"All your talk about honour and loyalty was only a lie, now, wasn't it?" he spit out bitterly as he stood between his brother and his uncle. "Was it loyalty that made you leave Kíli – your own blood – behind to die? It was Thranduil's son who saved us from the orcs in Dale! It was Thranduil's guard who saved Kíli's life!" He could see Kíli blanch at his words, and Thorin narrowed his eyes. "Was it honour that made you deny help to the people of Lake-town? I sure think not!"

"Don't you dare lecture me about honour and loyalty!" bellowed Thorin. "You know nothing of this world!"

"I know enough to think that maybe you're not the person I thought you were! A true king would not risk war for such a matter, and if you can't see that, then I begin to question the oath I swore at the beginning of this journey."

I would still hold true to that oath. But I need to know that I'm doing the right thing.

The silence was like thunder when seconds passed like eternity in the mountain hall. Fíli was trembling where he stood, and his own words echoed in his ears. His mind was blank and he didn't know where the words had come from, how long they had been waiting to be spoken, or whether he meant them at all. They contradicted everything he'd ever believed him, and still they seemed so true when he said them aloud.

"Go."

Thorin's single word pierced the silence like a sword went through a leaf, sharp and swift and cold.

"Go!" he yelled when Fíli didn't budge. "Out of my sight, now!"

The blonde youth held his gaze for a few more seconds, then he turned around. He walked slowly towards the door, and with each heavy step he took he felt like he was walking further away from what he once had cherished beyond anything else.

"Go after your brother," he heard Thorin say, "and knock some sense into him!"

"I think he's right," Kíli answered, and Fíli turned around once more and smiled despite everything. Loyalty wasn't dead, even if some had already set the pyre for it. It was there, and would remain through it all. "Maybe we ought to meet Bard and..."

"You will do no such thing!"

"Uncle..."

"I'm not talking to you as your uncle, I'm talking to you as your king!"

It was like a lion roaring, and the words sent shivers down Fíli's spine as he felt the cold door press into his back. Something broke apart inside of him in that moment, yet what it was he couldn't quite say then, but he knew that Kíli had felt it, too, even though the younger one didn't respond immediately to his uncle's words.

"As you wish," Kíli said finally. Fíli watched as he turned on the spot, hands clenched to fists and his face rigid as he walked slowly towards the door. Side by side the brothers stepped over the threshold and left the group behind. Behind them they could hear something shatter, and the noise shook the stone walls and Fílis heart.

Fíli didn't sleep that night. He hadn't spoken to his uncle for the rest of the day, and a turmoil of emotions made it impossible for him to drift into sleep. He and Kíli were lying in one corner of the hall, and around him dwarves were snoring and now and again turning in their sleep. Only Bombur was absent, having been ordered to keep watch for the night. Bombur, and of course Thorin. His uncle hadn't gone to sleep in the hall, and Fíli had no idea where he was and whether he was maybe just as unable to rest as his nephew.

The young dwarf laid with his eyes open, although he couldn't see anything in the dark. His thoughts were whirling inside his head, voices whispered, images flowed before his eyes, and he wished he could just drown them all out and go back to some other time. A time before dragons, before gold, a time when he still knew what was wrong and what was right.

Suddenly Kíli stirred in his sleep, his legs thrashed out as he mumbled incoherent words with his eyes shut tight and his forehead creased. Immediately Fíli put his hand onto his brother's shoulder like he had done a million times before.

"Shh, Kee, it's alright. It's alright."

But this time, the black-haired youth didn't snap out of his nightmare as quickly as usual, and Fíli frowned when he could feel his brother's shirt wet with sweat. His body was tense as he shifted and turned underneath Fíli's hands.

"No, no... Thorin... so sorry –"

"It's alright, Kee, it's going to be alright," Fíli repeated the words over and over again.

"Home... mother... no, no, no..."

The voice was that of a child, and Fíli found himself strangely reminded of his childhood. Kíli had sounded just like that when he had been a dwarfling who was scared of the monsters under his bed. Fíli had promised him that there was no evil lurking underneath the bed, and eventually little Kíli had gone back to sleep. Fíli wished he could make that promise again, but he knew now that there was indeed evil out there in the world, and that there was a chance that he might not be able to protect his brother from it.

The thought was enough to bring tears to his eyes as he continued to rub Kíli's back, murmuring words of comfort in Khuzdul until, eventually, the younger one drifted into sleep again. It was only then that Fíli remembered that he'd heard another noise, as if someone else was awake in the room, but he couldn't see anything and after all, nothing mattered more than his brother right now.

The lines we cross in search of change
But all they see is treason

(Rise Against, "Behind closed doors")

A/N: I added the bit with "Peace or War" recently, after watching the teaser trailer.

So, what do you think? Should I continue? Reviews are very much appreciated!