Let's make a porno

Xanxus was sitting down on his throne while listening to his worthless subordinates talk about future missions, food stock, and money and blah, blah, blah, blah.

The man was seriously getting tired of this same bullshit everyday when they had these meetings. So instead of listening, he gazes over at Squalo who is almost at his prime at the age of twenty five. He was sexy, but remembering how he looked when he turned over thirty, he was gorgeous. That was surely an age and time he was looking forward to screwing him.

He then realized that he was beginning to feel turned on. He wondered if he should take Squalo to bed or reach an empty room and have him against anything that was inviting. The latter seemed more exciting.

He wouldn't care if anyone walked in on them if he forgot to lock the door. The long hair scum might mind, but he'd still be moaning like a bitch if he just continues to fuck him. Xanxus figured that he wouldn't mind an audience watching him screw such a hot piece of ass against furnitures. It would just turn him on more having others know what he was getting, and they can't.

He smirked satisfyingly at the very idea. Belphegor noticed.

"Boss, what are you smiling about?" He asked over the discussion. The others stopped chattering to look at their smirking master. Xanxus stopped smirking, and glared at them.

Suddenly an idea popped in his head, "Let's make an adult video."

There were gaping expressions and Luss going, "Oh my!"

Squalo stood up abruptly having his chair fall back and bang against the floor. "WHAT THE FUCK?! How the fuck did the conversation lead to that?! We are not making a porn vid for your own satisfaction!"

Xanxus scowled darkly with a menacingly glare, "What was that scum?"

"Kuh…" Squalo knew better than to challenge his authority, but then at a time like this (especially when he knows of who was going to be doing the adult part) he had to stand his ground. He wanted to say something, but then his face felt hot, and his cheeks were blushing red.

Xanxus got up without a care of what the shark truly had to say to his suggestion. He told the rest of his members, "You fucking trashes make up whatever theme the adult vid will be. Just make sure that I get some." With that, he left to god knows where.

Squalo wanted to chase after him to change his mind, but knew very well of how it was going to end (which was him being thoroughly fucked in some random empty room until he completely forgets of what he was mad about in the first place because the sex is just so bloody fantastic.)

Instead he marched off to only where a god knows where.

The other varia members decided to do the task after all. Lussuria prepared blank sheets of paper and a pen. "Alright, people, we are going to produce our very first adult video between our boss and our lovely Squalo! Ooh! I wish it was me instead!"

"Nobody would buy that." Mammon deadpanned.

The flamboyant guardian is shocked and hurt. "Oh how mean!"

Levi was uncomfortable. He stood up facing his back to everyone. "I don't think that I can join this conversation. Even if it is for boss, I can't think of him with that other man." He said all cool like, but looked more like a sore loser. He excused himself thinking that he had made a definite impression on them.

They were actually indifferent to his feelings, so they continued on. This left Lussuria, Mammon and Bel as the only guardians to think up of a theme for the porn video.

"So!" Luss started. "What shall be the theme for boss's and Squa-chan's first porn video be? Hm? Let's make a list of all our ideas and then narrow it down to the ones we best like."

"Ushishishi~" Bel chuckled in amusement. "We should start by writing down the cliche ones first. That way we can get way more creative along the way like the teacher and student or the patient and doctor or nurse gig. Something way more exciting than that."

"It also has to be able to sell well if I can make a fortune off of this." Mammon pointed out. "We should also remember that my illusions can't be caught on camera, so we have to set up a budget for the props and settings."

"We'll leave that to you." Bel told the aging baby. "So what are all of the cliches?"

"Hm?" Luss tapped his lip with the blunt end of the pen thoughtfully. "I wasn't really a fan for adult videos when I could have the real thing, but I can think up a few. Let's see: we got the teacher-student one, or both being students or both being teachers. There's the patient-nurse/doctor/therapist, thug-cop, prisoner-prison guard, the butler-rich person, the employer-employee, the priest-guilty person, the cheating situation, the call in for a tradesman or pizza delivery boy, the jock, the pool-boy-"

"For someone who said that they weren't a fan of adult videos, you certainly know a lot." Mammon pointed out after feeling like he's heard enough.

Bel lightly chuckled, "I didn't know that there were so many cliches. I think that boss would be for a lot of them. The one I lie is that cheating situation one where the boyfriend is cheating on the girlfriend with her best friend or sister. In this case, brother."

Lussuria giggled like a giddy high school girl, "My favorite is when the priest lies to someone just to get laid! What about you Mammon?"

"Umu, I don't care of what the theme is as long as it's profitable."

"True." Lussuria thought for a moment. "If we want to make a profit, then it has to stand out from the majority! I got it, what about Alice in Wonderland!"

Bel hummed to that. "It sounds fitting and it also means that we get to put that shark in a dress! Ushishishi!"

"The Varia headquarters have a lovely forest where we can put all the crops with some special effects! And we also get to play a part in it! Squalo is obviously Alice!" The tranny sticks out a finger with one hand while having the other point at each finger that stuck up. "Xanxus can play the mad hatter! Mammon can play the white rabbit! Bel can play the cheshire cat! Levi can be the queen of hearts! And I will be the caterpillar who hints to Alice about where her true love is! Just imagine it."

Squalo was put in the disney-version alice outfit. As he was walking in the woods for no particular reason, he had spotted a black cloak wearing baby with rabbit ears and a gold clock necklace skittering away. He followed it out of curiosity and then fell into a hole where he woke up in a strange looking forest and met a boy with a cheshire grin, striped shirt, and kitty paws, tails and ears.

The cat messed with him which led the real Squalo to go on the offensive with his sword which had Bel disappear into the woods.

The bloodthirsty swordsman ran after him, and then stopped in front of a huge flower bud that suddenly bloomed to reveal a derange looking caterpillar.

"Hello! I am Luss Luss, you're matchmaking caterpillar! Oh my aren't you excited?!"

"Fuck no! Get away from me you deranged looking piece of shit!"

"Oh my! Someone needs to be taught manners! Tut tut tut! But it's okaaaay! Because our lovely mad hatter and you will live happily ever after! All you got to do is go down that path and make him do whatever he likes with your body! Okay! Go now! Luss Luss out!" The flower turned back into a bud and then bloomed to reveal a transformed butterfly that flew out, and then got shot down by the flame of wrath.

Squalo ignored what he saw, and reluctantly went to where he had to go. There he finally saw the Mad Hatter. He was sitting relaxing on his throne with his hands on his tummy and feet and on the table. Xanxus wore the Mad Hatter costume from the Tim Burton's movie except the numbers written on the hat was the roman numerals "XX". A whole table of tea and simple finger food was set beautifully on the table, but the scenery's atmosphere was ruined by the guy's boots on it.

The man glared at the girly dressed Squalo from under his top hat, and was in between laughing his ass off, or being turned on. Instead he settled with a satisfied smirk. This pissed off the swordsman who was against all of this in the first place.

"Sit the fuck down trash." He ordered rudely. The silver hair beauty wanted to reject, but then knew better because defiance would actually make this porno a lot shorter.

He goes over to a chair to sit down, but the man said, "Not there retard, here." He moved his feet off the table, and pointed at his lap. Squalo was shocked yet not truly surprised by that. He clenched his only working hand before moving over to Xanxus.

The man grabbed him by the waist to direct his ass to sit on his tent. He didn't hesitate to get to the point of this position.

He had his hands caress both thighs and also massage the male's inner thighs. The pinkies sometimes brushing against his private area.

"Voi, what do you think you're doing?!" The embarrassed swordsman questioned as he blushed furiously. His hands were cupped against his balls to protect them.

Xanxus ignored his question, and asked with a low husky voice against the male's ear, "Are you wearing panties under this? They feel silky. How naughty." One of his hands reached deep into the skirt to fondle the man's package and feel the material of the soft panties. Squalo covered them from him more.

He told the man, "You shouldn't be doing this to little girls!"

Xanxus chuckled in an evil yet drop dead sexy kind of way that sent shivers up the cross-dresser's back. The man retorted, "But you're not a little girl are you." He had his free hand pull one arm away to finally fully cup his second in command's balls. He rubbed and played with them until he felt a moisture seeping through the soft material, and a growing length that began to make a tent of of the skirt.

Squalo squirmed under his touch which sent unintended friction against the man's hardening dick. "Ple-please Xanxus, take them off!" He begged of the man. "The panties aren't comfortable anymore." He groaned sexily.

That line made his boss laugh at him before conceding to the task of removing the male's panties from down his thighs to the ground. Squalo then found his legs spread wide open and arched over the arms of the throne.

Xanxus looked over his shoulder to see the skirt still covering what he wanted to see. He removed that article of clothing to see a proud standing oozing tower twitching to be touched. "My, aren't you the dirty slut." He commented mockingly. "Is the idea of being fucked by some stranger pleasing to you? You must be one hell of a whore."

"Shu-shut up!" Squalo shouted at him which got him thrown out and then kicked onto the table before him. The table crashes downward which got the male being soaked by tea and covered in pieces of finger food.

The long hair combatant was ready to give the asshole a piece of his mind, but then when he looked up at his offender, he was met with a dark glare that sent of a death-vibe throughout his entire body.

"What the fuck did you say to me trash?" Xanxus stood up from his chair while unbuckling his belt, and then took out his semi-erected thick large cock into his hand. He grabbed his second in command roughly by the hair to have his dick poke him on the lips. "Suck me off or I'm gonna fuck your dry."

Squalo should be pissed by the threat, but he was far more turned on by the power display in this relationship. He opened his mouth and let his tongue lap at the pink tip of the head. He had his his false hand hold onto the suckee's hips while the other held onto the base so he could lick upward and all over before taking it in his mouth.

He sucked hard and licks needingly just the way his boss likes it while his hand rubbed the rest of the dick that he didn't or couldn't take into his mouth for the moment. Squalo hoped to be able to go at his own pace to handle sucking a thick piece of meat meant to be swallowed down his throat.

But the sadistic and somewhat angry Xanxus held him by the shell of his ears, and then thrusted his hips forward.

Squalo was lucky to know how to relax his throat immediately and hold his breath when the member began hitting the back of his throat. "Never fucking tell me to shut up you fucking whore! I'm gonna make you swallow my whole fucking sausage and then make you drink my cum like the scumbag whore you are! Do you fucking hear me, you little piece of shit!"

Xanxus, as promised, stuffed his whole thick large cock down the poor man's throat for nearly half a minute before pulling out. Squalo coughed roughly while also gasping for air.

When he contained himself, Xanxus ordered him to have his hands hold onto the arms of the chair with skirt up, ass out and legs spread. Squalo did as he was told. His ribbon was taken away from his hair, and tied tightly at the base of his penis. "What the-"

"Shut the fuck up trash. Your punishments not over." The mad hatter took out a tube of lube that he uses to slick his fingers. He doesn't waste time, and inject one finger into the tight ass. Squalo gasped by the sudden intrusion that squirmed inside him, and then was accompanied by another that worked to stretch him.

The swordsman worked himself to relax under the rough preparation. He yelped when he felt the third one enter him. The three fingers then began to prod him at his special place that sent sparks throughout his body.

Xanxus then pulled his fingers out to have his lubed cock against the man's hole. Without warning, the man thrusted his whole meat into that those soft round buns. Squalo clenched on that dick from the shock, and felt the painful swell of his constricted length. He wanted to remove the ribbon, but he didn't want to be punished. Instead he plead, "Pl-please remove the ribbon."

"Hm? What's wrong bitch? Needed to cum by having just one thrust up the ass? My, aren't you a loose slut?" His boss looked down at his ass to see his dick completely disappeared into it. He gave short thrusts to see his large cock be swallowed into that hole.

When satisfied with the show, he grabbed the long hair male's hips, and fucked him unmercilessly. Squalo cried out without restraint despite knowing that he was being filmed as a bitch in heat from his master's cock.

Before he knew it, he was left without a cock in his ass. His boss grabbed one arm to have the girly-dressed man face sideways to leave way for him to sit down. And then he had Squalo climb onto the throne to sit on his large awaiting length that shivered from the cold of the forest. The back of the swordsman's skirt was folded upward to have the camera take a shot of the large thick meat popsicle be devoured into the naughty male's hungry hole.

Once fully sitting on the man's waist, he had his legs stick out from side to side to get comfortable but not quite capable of moving unless he had his hands holding onto the man's shoulders. He got help with the man clenching his hips roughly to hurry the pace.

It was hot, fast, and dirty on that throne that the crossdressed man had saliva falling down the corner of his lip, tears by pleasure slipping through his cheeks and his face sweaty that his hair stuck to his skin irritatingly. But his attention was entirely on the pleasure and the warm feeling in his stomach.

He needed the ribbon removed. He figured that his master forgot since the skirt was covering it. He had one hand pull the skirt away as he pleaded, "Ple-please! Hah! A-ah!"

Xanxus smirked at the hot mess his second in command's dick was. Dripping precum over his throbbing constricted dick. He stopped Squalo from moving up and down to have one hand stroke the length making the swordsman cry out in painful pleasure. "N-no!" He reached out his hand to stop the man, but he growled at him.

His boss ordered evilly, "Be a good bitch and hold onto the edge of the seat." Squalo wanted to hit the man so badly, but then he would lose any chance of climaxing if he did. He reluctantly conceded to having himself lean back and hold onto the edge of the seat in between Xanxus's knees.

He mewled, moaned, groaned and gasped as he felt closer and closer, and the ribbon was still there. Xanxus was enjoying at how the man was rolling his hips underneath his touch that sent pleasure throughout his own body.

Squalo felt his body tighten as a sign that he was so close to the brink of an orgasm. He threw his head back to just let it all go. His boss finally finally took off the ribbon to let his cum shoot out in jets across their torsos. Xanxus still had to come so dug his nails into the man's hip, stood up and then gave a few more hard and rough thrusts until he came deep within the man. Squalo tried to hold onto the asshole's shirt as he trembled from the liquid intrusion to his insides.

The two huff for air to cool down. Xanxus drops him on the ground gracelessly so he could fix himself up. His loyal dog glared at him for the lack of sentimentality, but it was expected.

Xanxus then told him with a satisfied smirk, "Now how about you go skipping along little girl." He chuckled mockingly before leaving the furious shark alone and a mess in the woods.

The Queen of Hearts Levi was never included.

Imagination over, Lussuria asked his teammates, "So how about that?"

The prince and the baby just stared at him before the royal one commented, "I think the theme should be a royal theme with me as a the prince."

"I guess we can take that under one of our top considerations." The sun guardian puts it under the list of top picks. "Ooh! What about another disney theme! My favorite disney movie is Aladdin! I would really love to see boss and Squa-chan in their clothes! I can be the genie! Mammon can be Abu! And Levi can be Jafar! Bel you can be the Sultan with a mustache to look older!"

"No." The floating guardian said. "We can't afford a floating carpet. Pick something else."

"Oh, okay, but Squa-chan would've really looked sexy in Jasmine's outfit! Then how about, OOH, Pocahontas with the waterfall scene where they met for the first time! Can't you imagine that?"

In this version of Pocahontas, Xanxus played the village chief's son who was vent on murdering these white men invaders. He wore what the only guy who died in the damn indian movie was wearing.

Mammon was the hummingbird while Bel was the raccoon. Lussuria played the tree, and Lussuria played the dog. Squalo played the role of John Smith who held a sword instead of a gun.

It started off with Xanxus being informed by a fellow villager (a Varia extra) that white men had invaded their land. He ordered them to have some of his men to go attack them while he had others row his canoe towards Lussuria, the spirit tree. Mammon and Bel followed along on the canoe.

He goes to the tree with only the intention to know where the hell he had to go to next since he didn't bother to read the script. "Oi, stupid fag tree! Where the fuck do I go to to find the guy I'm gonna screw?!"

Lussuria's face that was painted to camouflage with the tree was recognizable by the sunglasses he still kept on. He replied ceremoniously, "Your true love is going to be at the waterfalls! What you have to do is act like you're going to attack him, but is stopped once you see what a wonderful stunning beauty he is! Make sure that you guys have a little chat, and then bring him over here to make love love okay?!"

"Whatever." Xanxus set the tree on fire, and kicked the dog (Levi) before setting off. The Varia worked to save the tree and Lussuria who was still in there.

Squalo was doing his part since he read the whole script which he found incredibly stupid. He had to wander around the forest until he came across a waterfall where he spotted someone. He followed the person into the water fall almost like the movie. He thought that he would catch up to the stranger since he was quick but when he landed his feet on the rock surface with himself squatted low, he saw no one there.

"Turn around white trash." A growl ordered him. Squalo slowly turned while standing up. There was a bit of a fog that separated them, yet it cleared.

Xanxus was going to just grab the idiot without a care about the script, but then he was completely stunned at the sight of the man before him. Squalo's hair was….short!

It was obviously a wig but damn was it realistic! It looked like how the man would have a haircut without his bangs being removed but combed a bit to the side. Xanxus wasn't sure of how to feel about this. The hair was a symbol of Squalo's loyalty to him. To see it all gone was like looking at a stranger that he would give less (if possible) than a shit about.

The idea of screwing someone that was like Squalo but looked like a complete stranger...which meant awesome sex with someone else as if he was cheating on his second in command! The man grinned at the thought.

That grin did not make Squalo feel good about the situation. He tried to revolt against wearing such a wig, but then it was for boss's entertainment. The swordsman was also curious about how the sky wielder would react to this. He couldn't help blushing when he was only being stared at.

Xanxus was getting an eyeful of the male's appearance. Squalo was cladded in a blue conquistador uniform like the only blond guy in the movie, but without the stupid helmet. His false hand was shaped to hold onto a real 1600s sword. Fascinating, but not as much as the scenery was a real update for the man's face. The short hair made Squalo appear much more manlier, and older. His silver lashes paired with his silver eyes with a tinge of blue were strangely sparkling, and thin seductive pink lips were screaming to be kissed and ravaged. His smooth porcelain skin looking soft to touch, but not too soft that it would break. And there were scars under that uniform as signs of former battle. The idea of being defeated by a considered savage by the throes of passionate hard rough sex unlike any battle the man had ever faced before...

That's it, pants off.

"That seems a lot more like boss would do in that kind of situation!" Lussuria added the idea to the list.

Bel groaned, "I don't want to be some raccoon. Ushishishi~ What about the little mermaid? I could be king Triton. I wouldn't mind being able to wreck Squalo's stuff as punishment for disobeying me."

"No." The baby snapped. "We'll have to rent an aquarium and a beach to accomplish that. And Squalo sucks at singing."

"He does, doesn't he." Lussuria sighed in disappointment. "Oh! Then what about Rapunzel!"

"Too much hair extensions."

"Sleeping beauty? Cinderella? Beauty and the Beast would be a great one!"

"Boring." The prince commented and yawned. "How about we step away from Disney fairytales, and make something more exciting."

"And less expensive." Viper added.

"Alright! Alright! Then what about anime! We can do Sailor Moon! It's perfect! I'll be Sailor Venus! Bel can be sailor Mars! Mammon be Sailor Mercury! Levi can be Sailor Jupiter and Squa-chan will be Sailor Moon! And Bossu can be Tuxedo Mask! We'll all be reincarnated galactic royalty who were transformed into guardians of the Earth! Our leader will be fighting injustice, but then is overwhelmed until the great and handsome Tuxedo man comes raining down with his flame of wrath in order to save one true love from another lifetime! After the rescue, Squalo is overwhelmed with gratitude and love that he gives all of him to our boss, and then they make a baby! Can you imagine?!"

"NO." Bel and Mammon attacked him with their weapons. They weren't fond of being put into skirts. Yet Lussuria still adds the idea on the top choice list.

"What about including the other sky guardians?" A maid recommended when she came in to give the guardians refreshments. She had been there since the imaginations started. "It would be a far more interesting plot if you included unwanted individuals into the video. It's sure to make a profit." She walked away.

The others thought about it. It would be interesting to have the other available guardians join, but it would be too troublesome to convince them.

"But it would've been nice. I thought we could do a non-musical version of Phantom of the Opera."

"I think we're thinking too much into this." Mammon pointed out. "This is a porno after all. Anyone would buy anything that would give them bliss for a few seconds at the very least."

"But it's fun thinking these up!" Lussuria was really indeed having fun. "We can still do a non-musical version of Phantom of the Opera, Romeo and Juliet, Bonnie and Clyde, and all the other classic movies that could've been turned into our own porno!"

The other two were blank to his passion. Bel said, "Let's just make the list and let boss decide."

Lussuria frowned by simple response yet agreed. They made the list, worked on the budget with diagrams and graphs, and then showed it to their boss who'll decide which theme was better.

The wrathful man glanced at the list and then flung it away. "We'll just do whatever is the least work and gets me laid."

"Uhm, that's pretty much all of them boss." His sun guardian told him. "We just told you that we would make a episode series for the ones you do choose into our very own website. Once done, we'll have ads."

The man hummed to the summary. "Whatever. Let's do it."

For over a year of work and production, Squalo found it very hard to stand, and to look Yamamoto or his friends in the eye when he knew that they watched them. Mammon made a fortune.