I do not own the TMNT they originally belong to Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman and Mirage Studios. The current TV show belongs to Nickelodeon.

I hope you like it leave a comment after reading it.

Hope you enjoy.

P.S if you have any questions i would gladly answer them.

Second or First?

Leonardo

Ever since father told us about Karai being Miwa, there has been a knot and feelings of uncertainty in me and my brothers.

The reason I wanted Karai to become part of our family was partly because I saw how torn Splinter is when we lost Karai both to her own hate and Shredder's plans. I would not deny that I am fond of her, in one way or another. When she decided to join our side I was thrilled finally the missing piece was found and we could be happy and content. Splinter finally had his daughter back and he had everything he could ask for. With Donnie working on a retro mutagen and finding a way to get Kraang an Foot of our backs for good. Sensei could have his human life back, the life he had the first 30 years of his life. The life he had hope to have with Tang Shen and Miwa, a life before everything was so complicated, a life before us.

If Splinter hadn't run into Kraang that day. He could have had a normal life. Perhaps even gotten remarried and start a family again. Have human children that looked like him instead of four adopted sons that were hatched from a clutch of who knows how many eggs. Perhaps it would have been different if Splinter brought more of us along. Perhaps a sister or as weird as it might sound, a mother. I would never say that Sensei shouldn't have bought us but perhaps somewhere in the back of his mind he regrets it. Knowing now, that we stand in the way between him and his 'real' daughter.

Do we have that right?

Raphael

At times I wish that girl was Shredders rotten offspring, if nothing it would have made this situation less difficult. Because on one hand she has been our enemy and she is more or less programmed to hate us. I mean she used Leo's affection, trust or whatever it was to get into the lair and lead a feline version of the terminator AKA Tiger Claw to our haven. I dislike Karai because she is a wild card and I do not like surprises, because I do not know if she will protect this family or skin us alive.

If Karai had been with Splinter the day he bought us and became a mutant alongside us. I think I might have liked the idea of having her as a sister. Karai and I have some similarities. We are both stubborn as mules and aren't afraid of putting a few jerks into their place. Perhaps in another life or if the circumstances where different. I wouldn't have anything against the three of us, Me, Casey and Karai busting some crooks now and again. I just hope that we somehow can cure Karai of that 'primitive serpent mind' because if things can't end with the best case scenario I would rather destroy Karai than endanger my family.

I just hope that if that ever were to happen, they would find it somewhere in their heart to forgive me.

Donatello

They often say that blood is thicker than water. I can understand where that sentiment comes from. Mammals will tend to their own younglings before the needs of another individual's. But there is also the sentiment that the more time and effort you put into something the more you cherish it. That is why artist or scientist or any one that spends a long span of time on something becomes attached to the object of their creation even if it is only the creator that sees the beauty or usefulness in it.

When I first created Metalhead I was the only one that saw potential in the little robot. I was his creator and when I lost him it felt so devastating. I knew that he was a piece of machinery. But I spent so much time with the little iron Turtle that I began seeing him as a companion. To my brothers it was just a machine, they didn't really understand my attachment to him until he gave his 'life' for us.

At times I also wonder if Splinter ever got to choose between us and a human life with his daughter. I wonder if he would have stayed. I mean he would be able to have the life we denied him. Have a job, see his daughter graduate school and go to college and when time comes have a family. I may have a crush on April and I do adore her, but the chances of us getting married much less have an offspring is very slim.

With the retromutagen I can bring back his daughter and give him a normal life. It will just be a matter of finding mutagen and time since I have already found the formula.

Once that is done and Splinter gets to be human again, what is stopping him?

Michelangelo

When we were born we were nothing more than simpleminded turtles presumably born and raised to be in a small aquarium or the rest or our life.

Think of all the things we would have missed out on, comics, dancing, pizza, family nights, bed time stories.

But there is still a lot of things that we ARE missing out on. School, homework (even if Donnie did try to teach us chemistry, history and every other subject that Splinter didn't or couldn't cover, Urgh. ) parties, after school activities, the possibilities to make friends that are your own and you do not need to constantly 'share' them with your brothers.

I do love my brothers, I really do but at times I wish I had someone to call my own friend. I had Leatherhead but I do not know where or even if he is alive there in dimension X. I know all my brothers can relate to me, Raph lost Spike, Leo and Splinter lost Karai and Donnie lost Metalhead. I know that Kitty is the closest think I have to someone that is only mine but a pet and a friend are quite different. As much as I adore her I can 't hold a conversation with her or play a lot of games with her as I can with someone human or humanoid.

When Splinter thinks we are all asleep I can hear him talking out loud wondering where he should go next.

During the night I sometimes shred the optimism and think of everything that has happened. All the dangers and enemies we have faced but also the joy and the friends we have met.

The last couple of years have been a roller coaster of emotions for all of us not just sensei. At times when things get difficult I tend to wonder.

Now that he can have her, dose he still want us?

If he ever where to choose between being our father or being Karai's. Would he go to the daughter that he had together with the woman he loved so dearly, or will he choose the four boys that he really did have no obligation to raise?

All of us wonder if we are second or first.