Update: This story is now complete! It only took me almost three years, and while I learned a lot about myself as a writer, it shows in the early chapters. I have done minor editing, removing only a few inconsistencies, and "streamlining" by removing some extraneous chapters. If for any reason you want the original version (I cut out several introduction chapters for some characters) let me know!

Originally it was 117 chapters and about 350,000 words, with over 1000 reviews, so that's cool. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

…

Nicole was glad to stay home today. It was chilly and rainy and the perfect day to stay home. She wished she still could, but now that her sister Eva was old enough to babysit her other sister Lea, she had been working at the clothing factory with her mother for almost a year. But Eva had come down with a bad cold, so Nicole was allowed to stay home, at least for today, to watch Lea. She was curled up on the couch in the front room, a blanket draped over her legs. Eva was watching TV and Lea was happily playing on the floor. Nicole watched the rain streak down the window of their apartment. She loved the rain. She smiled and went back to reading. She had just finished preparing dinner, and it was in the oven now.

Today had been perfect. No sewing on the scary machines and the endless maddening clatter of the factory. Just the cozy apartment, and spending time with her sisters. And, of course, she had finally had time to dance. When Eva had decided to take a nap, Lea had too, giving Nicole time to sneak into her and Nat's room and slip into her pointe shoes. Only Nat knew about this, but being her identical twin, she was entitled to know, of course.

Nicole had always been a dancer. Even when she was little. She begged and begged her parents to go to the ballet whenever a company came to Kent, but, being poor Fours, they never had enough money. Only Twos and Threes could afford that luxury. So, when she was twelve, Nicole snuck in. She found a small place in an abandoned loft that had once been used for lighting, but the floors had been too old and creaky, so a new one was built. It was just to the right of the stage, the best seat. All she had to do was sneak into the back door that led out into the alley and go up the stairs through a door. It was the first door in the hallway, so it was perfect.

Then, whenever a ballet company was preforming in the theater downtown, Nicole would sneak into her loft and record their training on her old camera. She would practice at night in her room. She'd been doing it for five years. She secretly bought books to further her training, using the money she had made mending for whoever hired her in their apartment building. Of course, now that she worked, she no longer had time to do that. Nicole had never had enough money to buy pointe shoes, so she'd stolen them out of the dressing rooms. Anything else could be done in bare feet.

But she dared not tell her dad. If he found out…well, he would put an immediate stop to it. It wasn't that he was mean, he just wanted his kids to work hard and make enough money to live comfortably, even as Fours. Ballerinas were Twos, but Nicole was a Four. She was stuck. She glanced at the clock. The rest of her family should be coming home soon-Dad, Jason, and Nat from the farm, and Mom from the factory. She quickly reconsidered Nat. Her twin would probably want to spend Friday night with her boyfriend, Ben. A knock at the door interrupted her musings. She quickly got to her feet, and smoothed a hand over her dark curls. If it was someone from her family, they would just unlock the door. She hurried to the door, and opened it.

"Hi, Nic!" Her second best friend-besides Nat, of course-Chris Johansson stood outside, getting soaked by the downpour. Unfortunately, they lived on the outside part of the apartment building, facing the street. The stair access was inside, instead, the hallway was outside, like a hotel, and uncovered.

"Chris, come in, you'll get soaked!" She said, ushering him in. "How did you know I'd be here?" Nicole said. Chris shook the droplets from his blonde hair, and laughed.

"Oh, easy. I smelled your cooking and knew it was you." He grinned at her.

"My parents should be home soon, unless the rain held them up. I'm sure you can stay for dinner." Nicole said.

"I wish I could, but I promised Marjorie I'd take her out. I just wanted to return the book you gave me." Chris said.

"Oh, did you like it?" Nicole asked excitedly, hoping Chris would stay a while longer. He had been going out with Marjorie for less than a month, and now Nicole hardly ever saw him.

"Yeah, it was fantastic." Chris said, checking his watch. Nicole tried not to frown.

"Do you want to borrow another one?" She asked.

"I want to, but I really have to get going." Chris said. "Sorry, Nicole, Marjorie doesn't like it when I'm late."

"Oh, of course, silly me. I'm sorry." Nicole tried to laugh it off, but it still hurt.

"I'll see you later, okay?" Chris started to make his exit.

"Bye, Chris." Nicole said, closing the door behind him as he left. She sighed. She hoped Ben treated Nat the way she knew Chris would treat Marjorie. Why was it that everyone was in love but her?

…

Natalia inconspicuously brushed her hair from her eyes, and glanced down the barn's aisle. Ben caught her eye and winked at her. Nat bit her lip to keep from grinning, and went back to brushing her last horse.

"You about done, Nat?" Jason, her brother, aid, coming up behind her. "Dad's ready to go." He wiped his dirty hands on his equally dirty jeans. Rain was nice, if you were curled up inside under a blanket, but not if you had been working all day. Nat looked down at her own muddy jeans and sweatshirt. Mom wouldn't like that.

"Oh. Actually, I'm going out with Ben tonight." Nat said, as innocently as she could. It was only partly true, but she knew Dad would never consent if he knew what she was actually doing tonight.

"Am I supposed to tell him that?" Jason said.

"Well, you used to make me and Nic tell him when you were going out with that Six he totally disapproved off." Nat teased.

"Hey, Georgia was hot." Jason said, grinning. "Ben's not." He said jokingly.

"Whatever. Can you just tell him I'll be home before eight?" Nat said.

"Aw, sure. What are brothers for, anyway?" Jason said, turning to leave. "Don't have too much fun, kids. You know the rules."

"Yeah, you don't have to remind me." Nat called after him. She gave her horse a final pat and exited the stall, creeping outside. She watched from the cover of the dark eve of the barn as her dad pulled out of the parking lot, leaving it deserted, except for Ben's car. Actually, it was his and his brothers, but still. Nat dashed back into the barn.

"Everyone's gone." She said breathlessly, excitement building in her chest. This was going to be night she wouldn't soon forget. Ben stepped out of the stall he was in, fighting back a grin of his own.

"Go turn on the car and let it warm up." Ben said. "It's getting cold here." He tossed her the keys from his pocket. Nat quickly did as she was told, trying not to get wet. Still, by the time she had run back to the barn, she was soaked.

"Ready?" She asked Ben. He came out of the tack room, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

"Yup." He said, handing her own bag. "We'll change when we get there. Are you nervous?" He said.

"Of course I'm nervous! I feel like I'm going to throw up. It happens every time."

"You've been doing it for almost two months." Ben said, draping his arm over her shoulder and pulling her close. "You'll get used to it." He dropped the tiniest kiss on her nose.

"Still, what if we get caught? We're Fours."

"We won't get caught." Ben reassured her. "If you don't want to, we don't have to."

"Are you kidding? Racing is…the best thing ever." Nat said. "C'mon, let's go." She and Ben dashed to his car, and quickly climbed in. Ben eased the car into drive, and exited the worker's parking lot. Nat pulled her knees up to her chest and let her mind drift. Ever since she was old enough, she had worked here, on this farm. She had started out cleaning stalls and such, then a groom, now an exercise rider. The owner, a wealthy Three, was hardly ever here, since his wife and daughter hated living on the upscale farm. They spent most of their time living in a posh house in the cities. But Nat loved it. Dad and her older brother Jason worked in the fields, planting and harvesting crops and tilling the fields and cutting hay, but she had always worked with the owner's prized Thoroughbreds. Unfortunately, as exercise rider didn't make much. So, when Ben told her how made extra money, Nat had jumped at the chance.

It was basically black market horse racing. Most jockeys were Sevens, unless they were born Twos and were good enough to be professional. Nat was a Four, but no one had to know that. She was small, and weighed less than male jockeys. Also, she was good. She couldn't ride without missing work except in stakes races, usually at night. Ben and his brothers had been doing it for two years, now, and helped her get hired in her first few races. But tonight was different. This wasn't so called 'black market' racing. This was the real deal. If she won in the two races she had been hired in, she would have way more than the twenty bucks she usually got.

She and Ben spent the rest of the trip in silence. They pulled into the parking lot of the track, and Ben pulled into a parking lot. Nat released a shaky breath. If she won just one race tonight, she would make a little over one hundred and fifty dollars. That was a lot of money, considering she barely made seventeen dollars for black market racing, and only was paid four dollars an hour on a daily basis. If she kept it up, Nicole wouldn't have to steal ballet shoes and maybe even go to the ballet next time a company performed in Kent. They would maybe even be able to afford a nicer apartment, and Jason could go back to school, and Nicole could stay home and tutor Lea and Eva.

"Hey, you'll be fine." Ben said gently, taking the keys from the ignition. "It's your first real race. It's no big deal if you lose."

"Yeah, it is. If I lose, I won't get hired to ride again. Plus I could get hurt."

"You'll be fine, trust me." Ben said, reaching for her hand and squeezing it.

"How many races are you riding in?" Nat said, trying to distract herself.

"Four. I'll be riding against you in your first. Speaking of which, we got to get going." Ben said, unlocking his door, and sliding out. Nat did the same on her side, grabbing her bag. She and Ben jogged through the parking lot, and into the barns.

"Where do we get changed?" Nat said. Real jockeys couldn't just wear jeans.

"I'll show you." Ben said, just as Nat noticed they passed the dressing rooms.

"We just passed the dressing rooms." She said.

"I know. I'll tell you in a second." Ben suddenly yanked her into a small hallway off the main barn aisle and stalls, and stopped in front of a small closet door. He jiggled the knob, and hefted his weight against it. Reluctantly, the door opened, and Ben pulled Nat inside behind him.

"What are you doing?" Nat said.

"Quick, get changed." Ben kicked off his muddy sneakers, and pulled his shirt over his head.

"Um, a little privacy would be nice." Nat said. Ben turned his back toward her.

"I won't look. But hurry, we don't have much time."

"Why can't we change in a dressing room or a bathroom like normal people?" Nat said, unzipping her bag and pulling out her white riding pants. She took off her shoes, and hesitantly unzipped her jeans and slipped out of them.

"We're Fours. Fours aren't jockeys. Sevens can be, and so can Twos, if they're pros."

"Well, I know that." Nat said, somewhat annoyed as she wadded up her sweatshirt and stuffed it in her bag. There was no way she was going to change bras here, though. She pulled on the thin, long-sleeved white turtle neck, one that Ben had given her that didn't fit him anymore. She would get her silks from the horse's owner later. She put her riding boots back on. They were muddy and worn out, but they would have to work.

"So, we can't change with the other jockeys, because we're illegal."

"What happens if you get caught?" Nat said, zipping her bag and scooping her curls into a ponytail.

"I don't know. But I know it ain't good, so we have to be careful. You ready?" Ben said, still keeping his back to her.

"Yeah." Nat twisted a hair tie around her ponytail.

"Just leave your bag here. Let's go."

…

Nat tried not to panic as the attendant led her mount into the starting gate. The big black gelding snorted, and flattened his ears.

"It's okay, big boy." Nat whispered to him. "You'll get to leave in a second. Just run away from it." Her shaking hands were gripping the reins so tight, her knuckles were white. She glanced down the row of horses, spotting Ben in blue and gray silks, contrasting her own black and white. He grinned at her, and gave her an indiscreet nod. She smiled back, and tensed her body, waiting for the bell and the opening of the gates. The gelding stopped fidgeting, and tensed under her. Suddenly, she faintly registered the gates opening, and the horse springing forward. She rose higher in the stirrups, barely crouching over the horse's withers. The animals around her bunched up in a clump, blocking her in. She gritted her teeth, and waited for a hole to open up. The horses sped around the first corner, still bunched together. She spotted Ben for a second, his horse surging up on the outside. But Nat was trapped against the rail.

"C'mon, boy!" She shouted, the wind snatching away her words. She shifted her weight, suspended above the horse. Ahead of her was a solid wall of other horses. She was stuck. The horses had nearly reached the second and last turn when one of the horses in front of her made its move and began eating up ground as it headed toward the front. As soon as the hole opened up, Nat made her move. She thwacked the horse twice on the rump with her crop, and shortened the reins, urging the horse forward. But it was too late. By the time she had gotten herself out of the hole, the horses were approaching the wire. She whipped her horse again, easing her hands up its neck. Flecks of foam coated the horse's neck, and she could tell he was running as hard as he could, but there was no way to catch the frontrunners-including Ben. She managed fifth place out of twelve. She wouldn't even make five bucks by the time she paid her tack fee. The second race wasn't much better. She went for the hole as soon as it opened, but it was too early and although she held first for the backstretch, the horse was worn out and they were passed before they could win. She took fourth, which wasn't much better.

…

By the time Ben dropped her off, it was almost nine, so Nat knew she was in trouble. She smelled of horse, even though she had changed into a clean pair of jeans and black flannel button down so her parents would think that she had indeed been on a date, and not doing something well below her caste. She didn't let Ben kiss her goodbye or walk her to her apartment. He had won two of the four races, including the one they had ridden in together, and he had taken second for the other two, which annoyed Nat's competitive nature. She hoped to make a quiet entry, but she was supposed to home before nine, not thirty minutes after. She quickly let herself in, and tossed her keys in her bag. Since the front room served not only as the foyer, but also the living room, dining room, and part of the kitchen, everyone witnessed her entry.

…

Nicole looked up when she heard Nat unlock the door. She saw her twin looking tired, her hair a wreck, so she knew Nat had been racing again.

"I'm sorry I'm late." Nat said, overly cheerful to Nicole's ears. "There was an accident on highway, and traffic was backed up." Nicole shot a glance at her dad. He didn't buy it.

"You didn't even have permission to go out tonight, especially not with Ben."

"I'm sorry, Dad." Nat was always quick to apologize. "I told Jason to tell you…"

"You need to ask your mother or me next time." He said. "I trust you weren't doing anything we wouldn't disapprove of?" He shot her a questioning glance, and Nicole heard Eva stifle a giggle. For once she was glad she didn't have a boyfriend.

"No, um, we just went out to dinner." Nat said quickly.

"Good. Since you've already had your dinner, you don't need to eat again. The Report will start soon." Dad turned his attention back to the screen, signaling the conversation was over. Nicole saw her sister wilt a little with relief, and quickly make her escape to their room. She quietly got up from the couch and followed her. She found Nat in the single bathroom, washing a white shirt and mud splattered pair of once white pants in the bathtub.

"I take it you raced again?" Nicole said quietly. Nat made a noise like a snort, and attacked the pants with soap. Luckily, the mud was fresh and came off fairly easily.

"If you could call it that." Nat said. "And it was the real deal." She jerked the garments from the bathtub, and huffed off to their room. She opened the window and draped the clothes outside on the rusty fire escape. "Don't tell Mom and Dad about it." She slammed the window, and Nicole shivered as she felt the nip of frosty air. She hugged her sweater tighter.

"You know I won't." She promised.

"Thanks, Nic. I knew I could count on you."

"Well, I've been dancing a lot longer than you've been riding, so we're equal." Nicole teased.

"Shoot, I'm starving. I need a bath, too."

"The Report starts in less than ten minutes." Nicole reminded her. Nat opened the drawer of their bureau and whipped out a pair of gray sweat pants and a clean sweatshirt.

"Done." Nat said. "Plenty of time for a shower."

"Not really." Nicole said, grinning at her definitely non analytical twin.

"It is for me, sister dearest." Nat teased, flouncing down the hallway.

…

-Shades