A/N: Not quiteee October, but still a shorter wait than my last update, right?

Hope everyone had a great Halloween! This chapter picks up right where the last left off, and features some appropriately ~spooooky~ relationship drama. Because of course it does.

X

Chapter Nine

Many hours after their leisurely picnic, on the subway ride back to their part of the city, Neji sits as though exhausted, head occasionally falling sideways to lean partly on Naruto's shoulder and hands loose in his lap.

Naruto's shirt is stained with sweat now, but it doesn't stop him from striking up annoyingly cheerful conversations with other commuters, all of whom seem to respond to Naruto like he's an old friend or a long lost son, unable to resist the charm of those blue, blue eyes.

Tired from murderous heat of the day, from the sickening sway of the train, from the thought of the work piled in his file folder for tomorrow morning, Neji slumps, tetchy. He keeps his eyes resolutely closed, steadily growing increasingly annoyed at the racket of chatter generated from Naruto with passenger after passenger.

Neji has never naturally had good timing, despite his emphasis on punctuality, and so as soon as the words roll off his tongue he hardly can believe he's said them, that they didn't stay tucked neatly away in the secret part of his heart that's only loyal to Lee.

"Here I was, thinking you'd be able to manage striking up a conversation with your actual friend, the one still in the hospital, if you can talk so well with strangers, huh?"

Shit.

Naruto pauses mid-sentence with an elderly man whose bushy mustache ruffles faintly with distress at the interruption. He rounds on Neji, gritted teeth making his jaw look old and grim, and it's different now that they've been fucking, when Naruto gets angry it's a different kind of anger - burning deeper because now he knows just where to cut-

He slides in close to Neji, arm deceptively loose around his shoulders, and puts a too warm mouth by his ear. "Well babe, I'd think you'd be able to keep your legs closed for a married man, if you're so high and mighty in your principles, wouldn't ya?"

Neji's eyes burn, and he jerks himself from Naruto's grip. He wants to fly at Naruto, claw his face or punch the wind from his stomach, but the traincar is quiet now after his initial outburst and instead he sits, hands clenched in his fists, furious.

"You sound just like Sasuke," He mutters.

He doesn't look at Naruto when he says it, and so doesn't see Naruto's face break open in shock.

X

Twenty silent, soul-crushing minutes pass, and finally Neji is off the train. He speedwalks down the crowded city sidewalk, steps tight and quick and aggressive, trying to leave Naruto behind. The important thing is just to get home right now, get home as fast as possible and lock Naruto out for a good 24-48 hours. Whatever it takes.

Strangely, Naruto is keeping step with him on the sidewalk, dodging passerby and cutting between packs of schoolchildren to stay astride with Neji as he tears through the streets.

Usually after a fight, Naruto and Neji spend some time apart, each retreating without a word to nurse his hurt like a festering wound. Generally, Naruto boozed for a day or so and Neji threw himself into his work, snapping at Ayumi until she informs him he's being a pill.

Since that first fateful fuck, the longest they'd gone without speaking was two days, before Naruto grudgingly called Neji to invite him out to a beer pong festival that his buddy at the ramen shop was organizing, a little too nonchalant about it all for it not to be an olive branch. Neji scoffed at the idea of something so juvenile as beer pong still being played by grown adults, before showing up and cheering as Naruto managed to drink Choji Akimichi under the table.

Usually, Naruto calls first. Usually, kissing and making up also means kissing and forgetting anything was said at all. But then, usually Sasuke's name isn't mentioned.

Finally at his apartment and faintly out of breath, Neji abruptly whirls around, shoving a finger in Naruto's chest, who is still right up behind him as though about to walk right on through the door, easy as pie.

"What are you doing, exactly?" He glowers at Naruto's mutinous face. "Do you really think you get to come home with me after the absolute shitshow on the train? Because fuck that." Some part of him is worried the neighbors will hear this, but it's not a very big part, yet.

Naruto slaps away Neji's finger from it's accusatory jabing. "I wasn't the one makin' a scene Neji. You still think you can say crap like that and get away with it?"

Neji is still too surprised Naruto didn't immediately hightail it off the train to some obscure watering hole where Neji would never find him to appropriately react to such bullshit.

"Wha-what? You actually want to talk about this? You never want to talk about anything. Frankly, it's infuriating and unhealthy."

Neji is quite good at noticing other people's bad habits, he knows.

"Alright, yeah I know. It's sad how completely fucked up I am, innit?" Naruto runs an agitated hand through his curls, glaring at Neji balefully. "But I don't wanna - I don't wanna be like him, I can't do that. So you should just listen up for a second, if you can get over yourself."

Neji splutters, hopefully not too righteously. "Excuse me, If I can get over myself!?"

"Yeah, get over the being everyone's lord and savior for just a damn second. Look-" When Neji moves to interrupt, Naruto puts a hand over his mouth warningly, still glaring with a piercing energy that sticks Neji to the spot. His voice is low, like he's trying to keep from showing that he's angry, which is utterly incensing.

Naruto trying to control himself was never something Neji thought he'd be upset by.

"You can't just always go telling me off like that Neji, always actin' like your own shit don't stink. Can't keep fuckin' doing that."

Neji knows he's talking about Shikamaru now, and his blood thunders in his ears, color rising in his cheeks despite himself. He jerks Naruto's hand from his mouth, which does come away easily, but doesn't let go of his wrist, standing closer now.

It oddly feels good to stand closer to Naruto, makes everything sing higher in his veins, but then it always did- no matter what Neji did or said or thought, no matter what.

"How dare you say that when you and I both know you've done the same exact fucking thing!" His eyes burn into Naruto's furiously. "Shikamaru told me you fucked his brains out and then barely stuck around to shower, but I don't see you running to Temari, do I?"

Neji can hardly believe they are actually discussing this, that there should be so much of his private, intensely personal life on display, on the very front stoop of his apartment as the sun sets, velvet in the sky behind them like a theatre's closing curtain. He's already seen one old lady with a pushcart look curiously at the pair of them as she walked by, and doesn't know whether to be embarrassed or rageful.

As usual, embarrassment is winning.

Naruto can tell, because he's known Neji forever and he sees too much already. He snorts. "C'mon Neji, am I really supposed to stick around to be impressed by Shika's pillow talk? As far as I can tell, it's not his strong suit."

Neji blushes, heat cloying and trapped under his collar and behind his ears. He remembers lying in Shikamaru's bed for hours, way back when they first started fucking, passing a cigarette back and forth and peacefully saying nothing at all. But it's not like that lasted. As it went on, Neji quit sharing the cigarette and started leaving earlier, his thighs still slick - he couldn't be bothered to deal with Shikamaru's bathroom when it still had girly soap on the shelf and perfume on the counter.

At the beginning, Shikamaru had always tugged his wedding ring from his finger after the first kiss, tossed it carelessly on the bedside table, but as time passed he started leaving it on, a blaring siren on his hand, a red flag.

Naruto's voice is rougher now, and his blue eyes softer, as he watches Neji struggle through the memory.

He moves a little closer, cups Neji's face in his hands, which feel cool on Neji's over-warn cheeks. "Listen, I'm not proud about it- there's a lot of things I'm not very proud of," His thumb brushes tenderly over Neji's lip. Neji feels his heart jump, sick and elated all at once because he knows those things that Naruto's not proud of, knows them too well.

"Shikamaru and I are too alike sometimes. And he kinda reminds me of...well...you know." Naruto's voice is so quiet now there's no chance of the neighbors hearing, for Neji's ears only, although that doesn't make it any easier. The unspoken name hangs in the air, maliciously sticking around far past its welcome.

"We're all too good at looking the other way, right?" Neji snorts at that, and Naruto moves back, sighing and crossing his arms over his chest.

"The difference is that I know what I'm good for. And so does Shikamaru." Naruto's face is tired. He suddenly looks his age in such a sad way Neji's breath catches, it's so different from the boy-man in the park, just a few hours ago. "You're better than that, babe, I know you are."

Neji wants to argue this point. Something tells him that he is definitely not better than Naruto. There's far too much blame and responsibility on his shoulders for that now, it weighs him down. But he also knows better than to say so, because convincing Naruto he's deserving of anyone, deserving at all, is a finish line he knows they just can't cross tonight.

He sighs wearily, wipes the sweat that's beaded on his forehead with the back of one hand and then covers his face, squeezing his temples. The headache coming on will be fierce.

"God, Naruto." Neji feels a pit in his stomach yawning open-bone-tired exhaustion flooding his body.

A pause.

"You gotta stop pushing me like this, Neji."

Neji turns to go into the house. It's a problem, he understands, that he doesn't really ever like to leave anything alone, and never will. "That's not going to happen, you know."

"...I know," Naruto's voice is hoarse.

Neji looks back, key fiddling in the lock, and in the blaze of the red clouds streaked across the sky behind them Naruto's outline is merely a shadow on his front steps, but his eyes hold Neji's own; an unwavering, salty blue.

X

Naruto kisses Neji before he leaves, one hand braced against the doorframe and the knob digging urgently into Neji's back. It's high-strung and hot, a make-up kiss without the make-up, but Neji swears he still tastes like the sun.

X

So it's not to say that everything is just right as rain and all hunky-dory, because it's not really - Neji bites his nails to the quick at work trying to file builder's plans that he's barely looked at because the hospital has started sending notices about payment schedules that are battle plans spread over his desk, each one carefully assessed for defensive strategies and points of weakness. Hyuuga Neji is supposed to be punctual, damn it, and he isn't about to break the practice now because of how frustratingly bogged in bureaucracy it could all be, from complex chemo treatments and CAT scans to mundane office supplies and employee holidays.

He cranks the air conditioning in the office to a freezing temperature to combat the dead heat pressing insistently in from all sides outside, cold enough to make him keep a sweater slung over his chair and make his interns actually complain once or twice, the ungrateful lot. Still, when Naruto slips in after work hours to keep him company, first wadding paper balls at Neji's trash can and then pushing Neji backwards on to his desk to drop kisses along his collarbone, his hands are always warm.

Naruto isn't bogged in bureaucracy by any means, floating aimless and uncomplaining through the day when Neji is too busy to see him, when he's kept for hours in Lee's ward or up late coordinating drawings with Ayumi at the office, and it's almost refreshing. It seems like being with Naruto this way is almost made to fit his not-entirely-conventional schedule. Naruto always lets Neji go on his merry way with an easy goodbye smile, and always shows up just when Neji's energy is spent. He takes one look at Neji's wan face and pushes him roughly against a door or a wall, kissing him breathless. It spills a heady excitement into his limbs, a live wire of need.

It can be just as frustrating though, because Naruto still gets drunk in the mornings and afternoons sometimes, maybe a little more often than sometimes, but maybe not as often as he did before. His place is still a mess but every so often he actually does laundry, although usually mixing the colors incorrectly, variations of orange steadily bleeding into white like ice-cream melting. It ends up not mattering anyway, because Naruto unabashedly stills wear the ruined shirts and socks, and somehow it looks good.

Naruto snaps whiplash smart and defensive at Neji on the moments whenever they veer terrifyingly off course, into conversations about those people better left behind - Sasuke and Kakashi, and sometimes even Lee. Neji hates himself a little, for that. Afterwards, Neji is careful and Naruto is subdued, but during their fights Neji starts catching himself screaming back, ruthless. It's like snipping at his veins, stinging. Like nipping a flower in the bud.

Neji frankly wants to strangle him occasionally, because sometimes, maybe a little more often than sometimes, it was all just too much.

X

"What did you call me?" Neji's voice is soft, quietly dangerous in a way he hasn't felt dangerous in a while.

"I said you've gotta get more milk Saaa-suke, we're runnin' out." Naruto is leaning halfway on the open fridge door, bloodshot eyes roving the shelves. His fingers twitch slightly on the handle.

Neji moves to stand next to him, feels his pulse shuddering furiously in his ears. He closes the fridge door with a decisive snap and Naruto leans back, glances sideways at him, head moving a little too slow. It's not the first time Naruto's ever called him by the wrong name, but every time it smarts, digs under his skin - angry at Naruto, angrier at the dead boy on his lips, at whole crushing unfairness of it all.

"Sasuke is gone, Naruto. He died." He only half-tries to keep the viciousness from his voice. Naruto looks confused suddenly, and then cruel, his eyes flicking over Neji's face a little too fast.

"Who the fuck do you-" his hand comes up hard and fast as if to shove Neji away, but Neji's almost used to this by now, the way Naruto spins slightly out of control. He uses his height to somewhat pin Neji to the fridge door, and glares hatefully at him, unable to stop himself.

"You said you'd stop taking the hard stuff, Naruto, you fucker, you promised." He hisses the words against Naruto's tight jawline, trembling slightly, and then Naruto finally finds his gaze, recognizes Neji all at once, and sags like a child into his arms.

Neji sleeps alone that night.

X

The next night Naruto is all over him, the apologies on his lips devastatingly sad, tone hesitant and humbled. Neji would try to stay angry, but he can't because at the end of the day, he blames himself a little bit too maybe - for looking away for too long, for not seeing it before, for everything.

"Neji, Neji, Neji, yes please-" Naruto whispers it to him like a benediction and prayer, and Neji loves his own name on Naruto's lips like he loves Naruto's dick inside him, like Naruto next to him in bed, like he loves Naruto's hand in his own, hot and struggling and perfect.

Hope flutters, a baby bird, under Neji's ribcage- overconfident and fragile, too easily overcome. Hope for Lee, for Naruto, maybe even a little for himself.

X

That hope burning so carefully in his chest is what made it all really fucking hard when everything abruptly splinters apart and falls to pieces, just like he somehow knew it would all along.

X

End Chapter

Does this end count as a cliffhanger? Hmmm...

Don't worry, shouldn't be too terribly long for the next chapter! Let's see how it all falls apart, shall we?

Side note: Would anyone be interested in a spin-off from this fic about this lot in college? Or maybe where Kakashi goes after the big blow-out? I've got plentyy of ideas for this universe. Kinda wanna write about Tenten and Ino's happy, well-adjusted romance too...

The title of this fic is from "Ode to a Naked Beauty" by Pablo Neruda, and the summaries are from "Blue Skies" by Noah and The Whale. Listen if you wanna feel emotional.

Thank you for reading! All feedback is appreciated!

-Lute